How to journey from the Nine of Cups towards the Ten of Cups

Yesterday I pulled the Nine of Cups and Death from my Original Rider Waite Tarot and although I am sure I must have pulled the Nine of Cups more often this year, this time at the end of 2017, I remembered it was my card for this year paired up with the rune Perthro.

I was wondering what the Death card had to say about the Nine of Cups because it felt like these two cards were standing at the beginning of an unfinished story but when I tried to pull an outcome card it didn’t make any sense at all.

So next I wondered how Perthro could be tied to the death card. Perthro is the rune of mystery and it sometimes symbolizes the cauldron of transformation. So maybe this rune wasn’t meant to be the tenth cup as I thought in January but perhaps it was meant as a symbol for the cauldron in which we could transform our nine cups filled with our comfortable wishes and happy feelings into something more substantial and sustaining.

And then I asked myself again what the tenth cup could be and I looked at the Death card which suddenly reminded me of the Knight of Cups, who goes on a quest to find his soul’s purpose; his heart’s desire: He is searching the Holy Grail.

Mmm, I suppose this could be the Ace of Cups. So this knight leaves everything he holds dear behind to go on a quest for Love with a capital L. It is the kind of Love which is unconditional, compassionate and which multiplies the more you give it away.  And so we arrive at the Ten of Cups. Empty handed but with a heart filled with Love and we come home to ourselves and our loved ones and everything we hold dear. Yes, all the things which we were able to leave behind at the beginning of our journey are represented in this card only now we are able to enjoy it with such a deep contentment and Love in our hearts.  So sitting with our nine cups is great but if we want to experience them fully we have to let them go and leave our comfort zone to find out what Love is all about.

Nine of Pentacles - A little update on where I've been…

Today card is the Nine of Pentacles from the Original Rider Waite tarot. This card shows perfectly well what I’ve been up to these last few weeks: Nothing spectacular except taking it easy and enjoying the peace and quiet of my own home. Life has presented me with some rather difficult “stuff” which took and still is going to take a lot of my energy, so blogging had to be moved to the back burner for a while. I don’t know how it is with you but when life is challenging my cards seem to grow quieter with the day, so there wasn’t much to blog about anyway. The lady in this card is enjoying herself in her garden and she is noticing the precious daily gifts of her life. Like the snail she moves gently and slowly through her day. She encourages me to follow my heart’s impulses and to do what brings me joy and happiness. Also she is a welcome reminder that there is so much to be grateful for even when life isn’t all together perfect.

Journey – Stop running and enjoy the scenery

Today’s card is "Journey" from the Magical Empowerment cards by Jody Bergsma. I needed a kind, gentle and uplifting message today, so I was very pleased this deck was still in my collection. It has been on my “decks to let go” list but somehow I find it very difficult to part with decks which have supported me throughout various phases of my life. So I keep them in a box for when I want to revisit with them again. And in that box, I found this deck …

The message of the card is to focus on how far we have come instead of how far we still have to go. Everything we have experienced up until this moment has brought us to where we are right now. Looking back on my life I consider this one h*ll of an accomplishment. But frankly, I never pay much attention to this feat.  I’d rather make to-do lists, research ways to improve myself, try to fix other people’s problems, run my daily life and move forward. But life has its own way of saying "enough!": Sometimes by sending you the flu or in my case dumping too much on my plate. 

So for today, I will keep myself from running towards the finish line and take some time to be proud of myself and to be in this moment, on this day and frankly, without expecting anything, it has become a good day, a very good day....

My personal review of the Spirit Within Tarot

A few days ago I have received the wonderful Spirit Within Tarot by Steven Bright from Schiffer Publishing in the mail. It comes in a sturdy box in the same size as the deck. The box has the famous Schiffer magnetic closure we all know so well. The deck comes with a little guidebook with pictures of the cards in full color. The cards are borderless and have a glossy lamination, and their size is 7,5 cm x 11,5 cm.

For each card, Steven Bright has written a descriptive paragraph, one with the meaning of the card and some keywords. What stands out the most for me is that for each card he begins with a paragraph in which the card shares its essence in a very personal way. These paragraphs make me want to pick up the guidebook time and again.

"I get a bad rap around here.

I am only doing my job,

but people fear me all the same.

Endings are natural.

If something is no longer effective,

you need to bring it to a close."

The artwork and the symbolism follow closely the RW system which makes this deck very suitable for beginners, but I was quite surprised how subtle the silhouettes in the cards are conveying their messages. The way they are postured in their contemporary background is very evocative and will spark your imagination. A silhouette can be anybody. It is genderless, ageless and it can become whoever you need it to be at one particular moment. The next day it can become somebody entirely different. This quality makes the deck also an excellent tool for the Bardic reading technique (storytelling) and also for writers who want to spice up their work.

The deck includes the 22 Majors which have various color schemes and the 4 suits of the Minors which have a color scheme according to their suit. So with one glance of your eye, you can get a clear overview of a large tarot spread. Personally, I can get a little bit overwhelmed by a spread of more than five cards but this deck will certainly encourage me to try out these larger spreads again.  

All in all, I am so pleased to have this deck in my collection. The deck has a neutral feel to it which will allow it to become a whole year round deck and a potential workhorse for anybody who likes to read with a more contemporary deck. It will come as no surprise that I highly recommended this deck!

(I've been given this deck for review purpose. All opinions are entirely my own.)

The Hermit – Coming home to yourself

For today I’ve received The Hermit from the Spirit within Tarot by Steven Bright.  Actually, I received it quite literally because it jumped out of the deck while I was shuffling. This deck seems to know me already quite well because it keeps giving me the cards I love the most.

The Hermit is one of the cards where we see the silhouette in the far distance which gives the card a very spacious feel. The Hermit is sitting on the top of a mountain. He carries no lantern but the light of the full moon is all he needs right now.

I identify with the Hermit on a very deep level. He is my guide and my shadow, so I feel he will be my teacher for a very long time.

Since I have been cutting down on my screen time you would think there would a lot of spare time for me to spend in Hermit mode but it is more complicated than it appears to be. Some restless, always need to be busy, part of me is frantically searching for other ways to occupy my mind. O my, how resourceful we are when it comes to undermining ourselves. Luckily for me, I have uncovered this “devious” plan so I am one step ahead of myself again. One thing I did manage was to pick up my meditation practice again which I am so grateful for. Each time I meditate it feels like coming home to myself.

Queen of Swords – Me and my journal

Today’s card is the Queen of Swords from the Spirit Within Tarot by Steven Bright. As you all know I identify highly with this queen and I was pleasantly surprised when I saw how Steven has captured her in his deck.

We see a woman sitting at her desk in front of her laptop, scratching her head with a pencil. She is obviously pondering what to write next; how to formulate her words in a way they will describe her feelings and ideas as clearly as possible. It feels so natural to see myself in her place. It is almost as if the silhouettes are inviting us to put ourselves or others in the depictions of the deck.  

I like to journal, almost on a daily basis. It helps me to get my mind in order and to think in a more linear way, which can be a good thing when your mind sometimes resembles a merry go round. Also, I feel that writing things down makes them more real, more tangible. I’ve been journaling since I was ten years old so I can hardly imagine myself without a journal by my side.

And then I was wondering what she was journaling about and I got …the Nine of Pentacles. This is a favorite of mine in any deck. Although I don’t shy away from writing about sad and painful things, I do like to emphasize what is beautiful, magical and delightful in life. Focusing on the sad stuff comes naturally to many of us. It used to be that way for me too. So nowadays I’d like to push myself a bit further and try not to write only about the clouds but even more so about their silver linings. Like the lady in this card, I have so much to be grateful for.

Without- Within- Advice spread with the Mary El Tarot

For today I wanted to do a daily three card spread which I found it the guidebook of the Mary El tarot

Without - The world

It seems I have it all under control. I have a house, a steady income, good health, a loving family and I am able to cope with the ups and downs life will present me with. Life is good and I am content. My dreams are fulfilled and I have nothing to complain about.

Within – Six of Wands

This is the archangel Michael, slayer of demons and dragons. Yes, although life is good, I still have many demons to confront. The question this card is asking me is if I want to slay my demons or if I want to assimilate them to become a more complete person. I think the latter. My demons are my own, they are part of who I am, although perhaps they are a bit deformed and grown out of proportion over the years. Marie White states that in this card our higher self meets our shadow. I think that although this might be scary, it is a necessary encounter which we can’t escape forever.

Advice - Ace of Wands

Roar woman! Show your strength and think of a creative way to lure your demons into the light. Don’t be afraid of who you are because you are wonderful and one of kind. This card is the primordial spark of creation. It is the embodiment of courage and power; the seed of our creativity and our intent. What better card to call us to arms than this one.  It is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer us and we only have to reach out than grab it, because it is always and everywhere!

I feel that when I can harness the power of this ace and meet my demons with courage and confidence the energy of The World will become an intrinsic part of who I am.

Eight of Coins - Strengthening my Attention span

Today’s card is the Eight of Coins from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot. We see a man studying the designs he has made for his coins. There is something not entirely right and he doesn’t seem to be able to pinpoint it as of yet.  He is however determined to create the perfect coins and he isn’t likely to give up.

I envy this craftsman’s perseverance, and ability to focus on a project for as long as he needs to bring it to perfection or at least to finish it. When I was younger my ability to concentrate was so much stronger. Nowadays my focus is much more fragmented. Reading for hours, studying a subject until I have discovered all the nitty-gritty details, seems to be qualities that I no longer possess.  And to be quite frank, I miss it. Oh, I do get things done and I am still able to learn new things but it feels different.  Somehow, I also believe this isn’t only caused by my aging but also by the diverting aspect of the internet. I mean the days when I went to the library to study are long gone. Reading a book from A to Z, because it was the only source of information you can find feels like ages ago.

Today this card encourages me to practice my ability to focus; to set small achievable goals as reading two chapters from my book instead of one and to diminish my screen time. Small steps….

Ten of Cups – Sweet dreams

Today’s card is the Ten of Cups from The Legacy of the Divine Tarot. Life is good. We have everything we have wished for in the Nine of Cups and most of all we have someone to share our good fortune with. 

Yes, we are home at last. We are safe, we are loved and we are emotionally fulfilled. Life is perfect just the way it is. It seems almost too good to be true.  

When we feel like this, often we try to hold on too tightly; afraid this feeling of contentment might slip away again. And I am sorry to say, it will slip away and it will make way for sadness, anxiety or frustration because everything always changes.

If there is one thing I have learned from our dog is to enjoy the good times and to try not to worry about what might come next.

Then I was wondering what the dog and the cat were dreaming about and I pulled the Star… Yes, they have lived a live filled with conflicts and quarrels and maybe even with hate and jealousy but they have left it all behind them, knowing there is always a change to start over and embrace love.

The High Priestess – Uncovering and facing fears

Today’s card is The High Priestess from the Deviant Moon Tarot. I don’t pull her often. The last time was March 2016 and the time before was December 2014. But today she is here in a more grounded version of herself. The bare feet and the checkered floor both indicate to me that she is not at all an airy-fairy kind of Priestess but more the kind of woman who has gained her wisdom through the trials of her life. She guards her wisdom well and is not eager to share it with just anybody who comes along. Besides being known for her well-guarded wisdom she is also the keeper of secrets and she inspires us to tap into our intuition because facts and logic can only bring us so far.

In many ways, she reminds me of the Queen of Swords. Perhaps because her face isn’t as gentle as we are used to seeing in depictions of the High Priestess. She looks stricter and more aloof to me than others versions of this archetype

So why has she decided to come along today after being absent for so long? I feel she has guided me today to face one of my hidden and deep tucked away fears. After too many years, I have dug it up dealt with it and in the end, it wasn’t that scary and emotional as thought it would be. Facing these kinds of issues instead of avoiding them, releases energy which can be redirected into something fresh and new. 

After all of this, she looks so much softer and gentle than I thought she was. I hope she will pay me a visit more often.

Eight of Swords - I am my own worst enemy

My life feels often quite overwhelming lately.  Perhaps because stuff is always happening beyond my control or it might be caused by the fact I am gradually trying to get off my sleeping medication which is mainly a “Stop worrying at night pill”

So for today, I have asked my cards how to simplify my life and I got, please don’t laugh, the Eight of Swords from the Raven's Prophecy Tarot. I didn’t see that one coming. This card is all about getting trapped by our own beliefs, our need to control and our self-doubt. This card is about being our own worst enemy. Look how the right hand is holding the left and causing us to be the victim and the attacker at the same time. The Eight of Swords tells me that maybe my life isn’t that overwhelming but that my thoughts about it are creating a more or less distorted vision of it; seeing problems and obstacles which aren’t there yet and probably will never be there either. It is hard to recognize the obsessive worrying and making up scenarios with the worst outcomes, after such a long time but it is good to know my cards are here to encourage me to stop this self-defeating behavior. Perhaps it is time to start meditating again and to practice living in the here and now, which is always perfect, simple and easy to manage. 

Judgment – Who am I….

Today's card is Judgment from the Ravens Prophecy Tarot. The first thing that came to mind was: “who am I to judge?”  Judging other people is such an easy thing to do. Even without actually knowing them, we offer our judgment, asked for or not. As long as we get it off our chest

The book reminds me of the book of “Sinterklaas” (list of Santa) where everything you have done in life is written down, the good and the bad. The crown, I don’t know who fits it or who is worthy to wear it. Santa, I don’t think so. Maybe be God but then we have to ask ourselves which God. I hope not the one from the fundamentalist churches because that would en be a good thing for a lot of us.

What about Karma? No crown, no book, just the law of cause and effect.  That sounds a whole lot better than judgment.

In the meantime let’s try to be nice to one another and keep our judgment to ourselves: In real life and online.

Three of Coins – Tending to your roses

Today’s card is the Three of Coins from the Raven's Prophecy Tarot. Three roses, although yet partially open, are bound to come into full bloom. As long as we keep caring for them, they will reach their full potential and our hard work will be rewarded. This is what we all hope for when we begin a creative project. But even though we put in all our effort, so many things, often beyond our control can go wrong.  It is then that we are truly tested. Do we give up or do we work even harder to try to get rid of the infestations and diseases roses are so susceptible for? When we are not that experienced in tending to our roses, we’d better ask for help from somebody who is. After all, the three of Coins is also a card of teamwork.

For me, the three lights above the roses, symbolize trust and even the confidence that these roses will bloom one day because without it we wouldn’t be able to do all this hard work and to keep going when things get more difficult. Yes, despite setbacks and challenges, these lights will help us to bring our project to fruition. 

New Moon in October

For this new moon, I have pulled one card from the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot as to what energy I should embrace during this next cycle of the Moon and I got The World.

After having pulled the Six of wands, the card of victory and celebration, for the two previous new moons, this card seems to encourage me to continue on this journey of well being and fulfilment

In this version of The World, we see a road with one intersection, heading towards the mountains in the distance.  For me, this symbolizes that even though we sometimes appear to have lost our path, it is always right in front of us. No need to retrace our steps or to take a turn to the left or right because going forward is the only way for us to live: Step by step, minute by minute.  Besides experiencing our life’s journey as linear, we also appear to journey in spirals: Every new cycle we start at the next winding of our spiralling path, always forward always changing; jumping from The World into the Fool’s position over and over again

The World card invites us to become aware of our accomplishments in life: not only of our successfully finished projects but also of the inner transformations we have gone through over the years. It is asking us to consider where we have come from and how we got here. Looking back, we might discover that the most difficult and challenging experiences probably have brought us the deepest feeling of fulfilment and belonging.

The first ten days of this lunation I will still be busy with my shadow work challenges, which have already brought up a lot of demanding issues. Of course, these issues do not entirely consist of darkness so I will be trying to also excavate the gifts and treasures hidden beneath the surface of these issues and give them the attention they deserve.

Also, I want to ponder about what my intentions are for my future journey: what needs to change and what is making me feel utterly content right now?

Perfect questions for journaling or just for sitting in my chair, listening to the wind in trees… and letting my mind whirl along with the dancing leaves

The Moon – Dealing with shadows

Today’s card is The Moon from the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot. It appears that the raven is holding the moon in his beak but we all know this is only an illusion. At night in the silvery moonlight, everything seems to look different. Shadows could easily be monsters lurking behind a tree. The sound of falling acorns will startle us more at night than during the day when the sun illuminates our life with certainty and purpose. But at night is it easy to get lost in the dark; to take the wrong turn at the crossroads and to become scared and uncertain but it can also bring you unexpected sometimes magical discoveries…

October is traditionally the month of shadow-work challenges on IG and this year I am participating for the third time with #shadowworkoctober by @mnomquah.  Although it isn’t easy, I am proud to say I have been keeping up so far. Issues which I hadn’t expected are coming to the surface. And others which I was ready to deal with once and for all, seem to stay hidden this year. This is one of the reasons I like to use Tarot for the exploration of my shadow because you can’t decide up front what is going to happen during the process. For me, shadow work with Tarot is a leap of faith into the dark abyss of my soul. Yes, Tarot is making shadow work so much more exciting and sometimes even scary but always surprising and rewarding.  

The Magician –Get your hands dirty

Today’s card is the Magician from the Ravens Prophecy Tarot.  Personally, for me, this is often a challenging card because it signifies the necessity to get off my bump and do something.  These days we are all about intention and manifesting: Large amounts of books are filled with how to manifest a perfect happy abundant life including our soul mate and a few but very intimate and caring friends. I wonder why all of us haven’t yet manifested this kind of life already. I think because the real magic isn’t in the spells, the words, or the intention but more so in the work afterwards. I mean if I had done a spell this morning for a clean house it might have raised my energy and motivation to clean but I still had to pick up the vacuum cleaner afterwards and do the work myself.

So are we ready to come into action, to leave our comfort zone and to shake up our not so perfect but rather safe little lives? Are we willing to takes the risks which are involved? We know who and where we are right now.  Is our need to change bigger than our fear of change? All these questions made me wish I had pulled another card. Monday morning isn’t the best Magician day for me, although I wish I had a magic wand to do my household chores today…

Barmbrack – Sweetness and Synergy

Today’s card is “Barmbrack – Sweetness and Synergy” from the Halloween Oracle. What a lovely cozy card this is. The barmbrack loaf has just come out of the oven and it smells so delicious. Also, the lit Jack-o'-lanterns are adding their sweet smell of slightly roasted pumpkin to the lovely fragrance of freshly baked bread. A barmbrack is an Irish sweet bread filled with raisins.  It is also called a bairín breac - a speckled loaf (due to the raisins in it)
“The Halloween Brack traditionally contained various objects baked into the bread and was used as a sort of fortune-telling game. In the barmbrack were: a pea, a stick, a piece of cloth, a small coin and a ring. Each item, when received in the slice, was supposed to carry a meaning to the person concerned: the pea, the person would not marry that year; the stick, would have an unhappy marriage or continually be in disputes; the cloth or rag, would have bad luck or be poor; the coin, would enjoy good fortune or be rich; and the ring, would be wed within the year.” Wikipedia
Although the fortune telling part of this bread is quite an interesting fact, today I want to focus on the magic of baking bread. When we gather all ingredients for baking bread, it doesn’t  seem as they have much to offer us by themselves but when we put them all together in a bowl and mix them thoroughly the dough comes to life even after beating it up again harshly, it will rise again. And then after we have baked it in the oven all the ingredients have come together and created something so utterly delicious, it is almost unimaginable.

Yes, a loaf of bread is a beautiful example of Aristotle's phrase: “the whole is more than the sum of its parts”.

Graveyard – Unnecessary Fear

Today’s card is “Graveyard” from the Halloween Oracle. There is something about graveyards at night which makes the hairs on our neck stand up. An unspeakable fear creeps up on us, mostly caused the countless ghost and horror stories we have been hearing throughout our lives.

Logically speaking there is no need to be afraid of the resting places of the dead. It is just our mind who likes to tell us differently. The Graveyard card reminds me of everything I have put to rest: old projects, withered relationships, lost jobs and neighbourhoods, secrets and regrets and so much more. As long as I haven’t buried them properly, they sometimes still try to haunt me but when I am sure I’ve closed the lid of the coffin and filled the grave with dirt and the occasional flower, my mind will be at peace again and what I have buried will decompose and make the burial ground even more fertile than it was before.

The Three of Earth elaborates a bit more on this subject. Here we see someone planting his seeds in the fertile ground of our graveyard. He has to sacrifice his acorns in order for a tall Oak tree to grow there. Without death, there is no life. And so we come full circle. No, death shouldn’t frighten us but rather make us curious about what comes next.  What does life still has in store for us? Yes instead of letting ourselves being haunted by the past we’d better sow our seeds for a promising future

Zombie – Control is an illusion

Today’s card is “Zombie – Control” from the Halloween Oracle. On a moonlit night, a dead body comes to life. His hand is already above ground.  He is not emerging from his grave by his own free will. No, he is summoned by some kind of sorcerer to do his bidding.  A small fragment of a living soul has been put into this body for a specific cause.

This card is asking us how much we are in control of our own life.  Are we living the life we want or are we buried beneath the demands and expectation of others? And in return, how much are we, ourselves in need of controlling the lives of others. Or are we capable of letting them walk their own path, only to help when asked? I think every form of control stems from fear, one of our four basic emotions. Letting ourselves being controlled by others might be caused by a fear of taking responsibility and accepting that change is a vital part of life. And change often hurts…

Controlling others, on the other hand, could stem from a fear that if we don’t interfere, things are bound to go sideways. We know best, so everybody should do as we would do in a given situation.

When we are busy controlling and letting ourselves being controlled, life passes by and we loose fragments of our soul by shying away from a more authentic life, filled patience trust and love.

Today, thirteen years ago, my life changed dramatically and I learned that control is indeed an illusion…

Night Song – Here goes nothing

Yesterday evening I pulled Nightsong – Hidden Talents from the Halloween Oracle and this morning I decided I wanted to write about this card instead of pulling another one. We see a beautiful red colored bird sitting on a branch at night just before he is going to burst into song. Because it is quite rare for birds to sing at night, it was often seen as a bad omen.  But for the more positive minded people, it could be a sign of good fortune too. A bird singing at night could also be considered to be “able to direct us towards discovering our talents and true purpose – a kind of guide in the darkness leading us to the dawn.”

This got me thinking about my own hidden talents and I couldn’t come up with anything. Of course, I know I can draw and write but that’s nothing new. This card is about the hidden talents. Then I thought:  “Let’s draw some more cards about it” and I drew three cards for three talents. (Perhaps a bit presumptuous?) The cards were quite positive but still, it didn’t feel right and I went to bed and stopped thinking about it. This morning when I saw the Nightsong card again, little by little it dawned on me because now I realize you cannot go searching for hidden talents or draw cards to reveal them.  No, you have to do the work or better said you have to start playing with the mindset of “Here goes nothing”, just like when we were children.  If I had never picked up crayons and paper when I was a child, I would have never have discovered I had a talent for drawing and painting. Somehow along the way, a lot of us have lost the open-mindedness of a child to try out new things without expectations. And now, as adults we seem to walk in darkness, frantically searching for our authentic self. Perhaps if we would try to relax and enjoy playing and experimenting more, then who knows what treasures we might find, hidden in some dark unexplored corner of our soul.

Lord of Grails - What’s with the head?

Today’s card is the Lord of Grails (Cups) from the Vampyres Tarot. My first impression is a feeling of aversion and perhaps even a touch of fear. Not so much due to the decapitated Medusa-like head but more so by the dark spot where his face should be. Perhaps it is merely the shade of his helmet but it feels like he is some kind of headless rider. O my, then it occurs to me; perhaps it is his own head he is holding in his hand. According to the guidebook, it is supposed to symbolize his power over his lower instincts and it helps him to counter any emotional threat made against him.

I don’t get this card at all. It makes me feel uncomfortable and the keywords from the guidebook for this dreadful card like visionary, spiritual, paternal, graceful, don’t make it any easier. They don’t seem to fit this card in any way. This experience doesn’t help to create some kind of relationship with this deck at all.

So for today, I will put this card away because it seems this one goes way over my head.

Daughter of Grails – Are your dreams worth following?

Today’s card is the Daughter of Grails (Cups) from the Tarot of Vampyres. A beautiful young vampire is sitting on a rock with her feet in the water. She has drunk from a grail filled with blood and has sated her thirst, for now… but is obvious she want more. She is not yet completely satisfied. She reminds me of a teenager who wants to experience everything in life and if possible right now!

There is a longing in her eyes to get off that rock, dive in her emotional waters and swim towards the light spot in the background. But she hesitates. Why? Perhaps she is scared, or maybe she enjoys the yearning more than the actual fulfilment of her dreams because when dreams come true they might not be as glamorous as we hoped they would be. Dreams are gossamer stories, while real life is often more heavy and solid and not always so easy to fantasize about.

Although fantasizing and dreaming of whatever makes us happy is perfectly okay, it feels to me that this card is warning us not to dwell in our dreamscapes for too long. This can make us dissatisfied with the life we have in the here and now.  Dreaming as a first stage of planting seeds and changing our life is much more rewarding than dreaming about a more exciting and fulfilling life in general. The first sets things in motion. The latter fills us with discontent and imprisons us.

So for today, I will be mindful of my dreams and fantasies: are they uplifting and focused on bringing about positive change or are they born out of discontent and frustration…

Eight of Grails – Facing our despair

Today’s card is the Eight of Grails from the Tarot of Vampyres.  This is a card of inevitable endings; of leaving the murky waters of stagnant and even sometimes venomous emotions and feelings. 

The vampire lord is wading through the foggy swamps of his unconscious, still unable to fathom how he could lose his way entirely. He knows he has to get out of here but isn’t entirely sure which way to go. Luckily he still has some time to get his bearings because he is wearing a mask which will protect him for a while longer from the poisonous gasses.

I think we all have been in this kind of situation. Often it seems that the most difficult part is to decide enough is enough and something has to change. We need to save ourselves or we need to reach out to someone who will help us.

But in my experience, something has to happen before we can make this decision. When we are in an emotional crisis we tend to run away from everything which triggers our feelings of despair. We keep busy, distracted, and we numb ourselves. Everything goes as long as we don’t have to feel what is crying out to us just beneath the surface of our consciousness. To hear this, and acknowledge there is something troubling us very deeply, we have to become silent, journey inwards and face our feelings, how sad and painful they may be. Only then we can start making a change towards the nine of Grails: a place where our wishes will come true again. Then we will be able to find joy and happiness and follow that soft voice of our intuition. Yes, then we are moving forward again. 

Daughter of Scepters – Never too old

Today’s card is the Daughter of Scepters (Wands) from the Tarot of Vampyres. Some of the keywords I can easily relate to today are enthusiasm, excitement, curiosity, willpower and optimism. Others like: beguiling, bewitching delightful fanciful and exotic feel less suitable for me. Each Fall I pull this deck from the shelf hoping almost desperately to vibe with it. The guidebook is amazing. I love the artwork but somehow this deck and I won’t hit it off as I hoped we would.

Back to the card of today: It is October 1^st and I feel even more energized and alive than last month. M and I went to visit my husband and instead of taking the afternoon “off” we have been working in our garden, I have baked a loaf of bread and I have posted my first pictures of both my IG challenges for this month. And now I’m even writing a little blog post. All very much like the Daughter of Scepters.

Then I thought well this is it for today but still, there was something nagging me. There is a little voice that says I am too old for this deck because old ladies aren’t bewitching, enticing and delightful and I could never identify with the beautiful characters in the cards. Yet then again I wonder, why not? Who is that voice inside of me? Who determines if I am all those things or not? I may not look like the Daughter of Scepters anymore but maybe I can be a little more like her if I let myself. This young woman is still apart of me. It all has to do with how we feel about ourselves. The amount of self-esteem we have and whether or not we feel free to express ourselves instead of hiding in the shadows of our day to day life.

Lots to think about. Perhaps I will try my new lipstick on tomorrow.

Nine of Cups –Sharing our gratitude

Today’s card is the Nine of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. This card is my theme card for this year. We see a man sitting at his table with his cup raised. He is content and has done well for himself. But especially in this depiction, it feels like something is missing. He has laid the table for his guests to drink some of his exquisite wine and eat from a fresh cooked salmon. Yet, nobody else is there. Perhaps it is still too early; otherwise, he wouldn’t be smiling and sitting there all pleased and feeling good about himself.

This is the card of dreams come true, wishes fulfilled and all things good in life. It invites us to ponder about what we have filled our nine cups with and what wisdom we have gained (salmon) There so much to be grateful for and to be proud of. This harvest season is particularly suited to express our gratitude for everything life has offered us. And yes I do mean everything because often our challenges are carrying our most precious gifts.

So for today, I will ponder on the content of my nine cups and especially about what this beautiful salmon has taught me in the last few months. But... I will also share my findings with my loved ones and then I will be stepping from the solitude of the Nine of Cups into the warm embrace of the Ten of Cups...

The Devil – Please wake me up!

Today’s card is Cernunnos, The Devil, from the Druidcraft Tarot. The two figures from The Lovers are in a deep sleep, probably dreaming of their sensual encounter in that card. 

Cernunnos, The God of the wild hunt and the underworld, is watching them, curious, if or when they will wake up. He is not evil or holding them captive against their will. He is just observing if those two can manage to embrace the material aspects of life without becoming addicted to them. As everything and always in life, this is a fine line to walk:  too much will often lead to addiction and obsession but too little can bring about disgust for everything physical. Both excesses are prone to cause a lot of damage to ourselves. The challenge of the card is to wake up and continue our journey even if that leads us to the next card: The Tower.

So who what energy can wake us up? The Queen of Wands, the good with of the deck. She has a pointy magic wand in her hand and when I look at those two naked bodies in the other card, it is not difficult to imagine what she will do with her wand…

Sometimes we need a bit of external encouragement when we can’t find it within ourselves. This could be a new project or hobby, a conversation with a friend or reading an inspiring book, as long as it sparks our inner fire and puts us on our feet again.

Today, for me, the Queen of Wands represents my excitement to join two IG challenges for the month of October: One about shadow work and the other one about connecting to the Feminine Divine. Will I finish them?  I don’t know, but I do love the thrill and the creative boost of starting these two challenges.

Ten of Wands – It’s okay to say No

Today’s card is the Ten of Wands from the Druidcraft Tarot.  It is a card of feeling obligated and overburdened.  An old man is carrying his ten wands uphill. His destination is not yet in sight, so we don’t know how far he has yet to travel before he can lay down his heavy wands.

When we often feel like this it can be a sign that we need to change our behavior and/or our attitude towards the need to do it all by ourselves. This is easy to write down but so much harder to establish in real life.

Lately, since I’ve started my journey towards more spiritual freedom,  I find my wands to be so much lighter and easier to carry. Also, my wands don't  hurt my back as much as they used to. And when I do feel tired, I don’t mind tossing them on the ground and take a nap on the side of the road. Life isn’t all about work and fulfilling (often self-imposed ) obligations and expectations. If only we were taught that play and having fun are just as important as doing our job and,…. most importantly, that it is okay to say NO once in while.

Seven of Cups - Fretting over first world problems

Today’s card is the Seven of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. This card represents being held captive by too many options and the inability to choose one and to get on with our lives. The guy is dressed in vibrant red and is sitting on a rock covered with soft green moss. He is staring at a vision of six beautiful cups, completely unaware of the real cup standing next to him. For me, this symbolizes the conflict between his more primal desires and that, what he truly loves. Often we want it all although deep down we know what makes us really happy and these two are most of the time not exactly the same. As long we have this inner conflict, we can keep sulking and lingering in the hope we can have it all. Yes, sometimes we can still act like our inner two-year-old, screaming for candy in a mall. 

The issues this card addresses are often first world problems. They hardly ever have anything to do with food. shelter, clothing etc. So what does this card trigger for me today? Since we are rapidly approaching October there are popping up several Shadow work challenges on IG. One even more promising than the other. Now you all know I am great at starting challenges but sadly not so good at finishing them. But none the less, I am tempted to join several of them. And the next issue is which decks to use? One or a few for each challenge or just pick them intuitively? Mind you, sticking with one deck for more than a few days is also quite challenging for me. Should I combine Oracle cards with Tarot and if so, which Oracle decks are suited for shadow work? Which journal should I use: a new one or just my regular tarot journal? These are only a few examples of what is keeping my mind occupied and also keeping me from making an actual decision, preparing myself,  and looking forward to the experience of doing this kind of challenge together with a part of the IG Community.

So for today, I am going to make up my mind about all of this and I will challenge myself to stick to my decision in order to clear my head and enjoy these last few days of September, instead of fretting over October challenges… J

Eight of Cups - Leaving is not always the best option

Today’s card is the Eight of Cups from The Wild Unknown Tarot. Eight shattered cups are laying on the ground in the shadow of a high and steep mountain. 

Our cups are empty and apparently beyond repair. Al the things which once fulfilled us and made us happy are gone and it seems the only way forward is to leave the remnants behind, climb the mountain and take a chance with what’s on the other side…

So what can we expect on the other side? And I pulled the Five of Swords, which depicts a worm, cut in two pieces. This is one of the most gruesome cards of the deck. I think this card is telling me life sucks one either side of the mountain and it is up to us to bloom where we are planted. So maybe it’s better to pick up what can be salvaged and for the remaining shards, I will have to find a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess. I do hope have learned enough from my mistakes and successes to build something new and fresh right here, where I belong.

For today I will try to look at my life from a fresh point a view and if I discover a broken cup, then first I will try to glue it together but is it is broken beyond repair, I’ll throw in the bin and find a new one.

The Devil – Babysteps towards freedom

Today’s card is The Devil from The Wild Unknown Tarot.  He is the personification of temptation and indulgence.  He is all about satisfying the primal needs of our ego. Numbing us and tempting us to distract our mind from whatever needs our attention is his number one goal. Of course, he is not some evil mythical creature. No, he is an undeniable part of who we are. 

It often feels like he wants to keep me from exploring my inner shadows; from dealing with my issues so I won’t grow and change. The Devil is not keen on change; he wants to keep everything the way it is now. Safety and comfort are his favorite disguises to keep us in bondage.

So what to do if we do want to change and move forward in life and I pulled the Ace of Pentacles. Immediately my eyes were drawn to the fiery parts in each card: The devils burning feet and the glowing center of the trunk. It feels as if we can redirect the energy we give to our inner Devil towards a new beginning, an opportunity to change however small it might be.

My main numbing strategy is screen time.  Not the time I am blogging or reading other people’s blogs, posting pictures on IG and enjoying other people’s posts. No, it is the mindless clicking, the checking en rechecking for updates or new emails. It is watching too many YouTube videos and last but definitely, not least it is binge-watching crime series. This habit consumes so much of my precious time and energy.

So starting from today I am going to finish the two knitting projects I have been neglecting lately. Hopefully, this will help me to find some inner peace and keep me more present and aware of what’s going on in the here and now.

New Moon in September

For this new moon, I have pulled one card from the Original Rider Waite Tarot as to what energy I should embrace during this next cycle of the Moon and I got the Six of Wands. This was quite surprising, because it is the exact same card as I pulled for the previous New Moon.

Honestly ,my good intentions to establish a free-flowing routine have  completely fallen by the wayside.  I became more and more reluctant towards building a daily routine. I just wanted to be free, to chose what I wanted to do and also when and where I wanted to do it. My whole life has been about maintaining a routine: School, work, raising children, and then work again. I realized that my freedom was more important to me than ticking of boxes from my to-do lists. The upside of this “failure” is that I now feel more in touch with myself than ever before. I have to check in regularly with myself  to discover what it is that I want and need at this very moment; what it is that will make me happy and content.

So over to the Six of wands for this lunation. I got the distinct feeling that even though I “failed” to accomplish my goal, I gained something very valuable too. But the six of wands is not a stagnant card. It urges me to move forward after recognizing and celebrating my victories. It is so easy to keep dwelling in a pleasant state of mind but life is also about  moving onward toward the next challenge (Seven of wands)

So for the coming lunation I will definitely be celebrating my new found sense of freedom but also focusing myself on how to become more and more the woman  I am supposed to be.   

Son of Pentacles – Try to love what you have to do

Today’s card is the Son of Pentacles from The Wild Unknown Tarot.

He is the most responsible Son of the deck: Doing his duty and sticking to the job until it’s finished.  Yes this is the Son you can depend on under all circumstances. He will never let you down. But what about him? Is he enjoying himself? Is he feeling proud of his accomplishments? Does his eyes lit up when he hears the compliments others might give him?

When you look at this card I suppose not. He is feeling rather down and depleted by his constant effort to do a good job. His heart isn’t in it anymore, so he is running on empty. Perhaps if he would allow himself to lie down and rest for a while, his muddled mind would clear up and he might realize that if you don’t do what you love then try to love what you do. In every job there will be things you dislike but being able to find what you do like, can make all the difference

Today I have to do some household chores: cleaning the toilet, mopping the floor, doing groceries… I think you’ll know what I aiming at …J

Father of Swords – Don’t get too emotional too soon

Today’s card is the Father of Swords from The Wild Unknown Tarot.  Father Owl looks stern and strict but his standoff demeanor is softened by the beautiful colors of his sword. 

This sword tell us he has seen it all, experienced  a lot and all of this has made him a wise and knowledgeable father. One you can go to in times of need or trouble. You can talk with him about anything. Pick a color and he will tell you tales you never heard before and give you advice, gladly and sincerely.

I wonder why he has showed up today and I pulled Death. This is a card a of transformation, closure and letting go. Whenever we are confronted with the Death card it is so easy to shift  in full emotional mode but Father of Swords reminds us stay clearheaded and  to remember other Death occasions which weren’t all together as bad as we feared they would be.  Death is what it is, unbiased and a part of everyone’s life whether we like it or not. Death is the only certainty we have in life. Maybe Father of Swords’ gift of perception and looking at a situation from all angles can be very helpful for us to learn to accept this undeniable fact of life.

Page of Wands - Don’t forget to fuel your fire

Today’s card is the Page of Wands from the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot and instead of a childlike page with a wand in his hand, it depicts a burning match, symbolizing “the raw spark of an idea”. The Page of Wands is all about confidence, curiosity and wanting to experience it all. However, the problem with a single match is that it often burns out before it can start a real fire. We tend to get enthralled by this tiny little flame and forget to give it fuel to make it burn brighter and stronger. This often results in burned fingers and a feeling of disappointment and missed chances. The question we need to ask ourselves is if we want to use this fire to fuel our passion and desire to create, or if want to let it go to waste and wait for the next match to lit up.

We all have those days when great ideas pop up and fly away again but sometimes we need to try to take hold of that spark of inspiration, fuel it and start a fire.

Today I am going to rearrange my altar for this season and I want to try to keep it simple but meaningful.

What are you going to create today?

The Hierophant - I want to be free!

Today’s card is the Hierophant from the Ravens Prophecy Tarot. This card is the worldly, physical manifestation of spirituality, which is for me almost an oxymoron. 

In this version of the Hierophant, we see a candle burning in a lantern. It’s true that the lantern protects the light of the candle, even magnifies it with its glass but even though all these advantages, the light of this candle is contained and has lost its freedom to dance in the wind.

Lately, I find it difficult to relate to any organized form of religion or philosophy or even parts of it. I feel that my main reason to do so in the first place was my fear of being wrong and I perhaps felt there was safety in numbers. With the beginning of this new season, the only thing which feels spiritual to me is Nature itself in all Her abundance and Autumnal decay, the magic I see and feel in all of this, and of course my cards.

I do believe in the Divine, in Spirit, but for now, I experience it more as a loving Energy than as a specific deity.

All this feels fresh, free and playful. Without any tasks or structured practices, I am more “spiritual” than I used to be. There is no more pressure, just listening to myself and finding out what makes me happy and what connects me to Spirit

NB I do recognize the wisdom of all the wonderful teachings we have. I just don’t want to be limited by them anymore or exclude others who think differently.

King of Cups – Caution: Risk Of Explosion

Today’s card is the King of Cups from The Raven's Prophecy Tarot. In this depiction we see a glass which  contains just one feather. The king of Cups is known to be a very good listener. He truly can hold space for how you feel deep down and for what you need to unburden. Only after you have told him everything, he will give you great advice on how to move forward without any pressure to see his way as the only way.

But who really knows what is going on with him:  Always smiling, always nodding , always  calm. Who knows what this feather is all about? He will not share, without being pushed quite a bit. His feelings are buried deep beneath his responsibility as king.  But beware, these build up emotions can explode unexpectedly and then he feels exposed, ashamed and crownless.

So what advice could we give this King and I got the Hanged Man: this card encourages him to take some time  to explore how he feels about being the archetypal counselor and perhaps even more importantly to explore how he feels….

Often taking a step back will give us a more clear perspective  on a lot of things; even on what we didn’t know troubled us in the first place.

I know all too well how it feels to be a King of Cups and when build up emotions become a hazard for my family and myself.

So for today will try to be more open about how I feel, if only to myself in my journal, in order to prevent my glass to break into pieces once again. And yes, taking a few good deep breaths or a time out after “King of Cups duty” is a very sound advice indeed! 

Undressing of a salad - Keeping our balance at all cost?

Today’s card is “Undressing the Salad” of The Faeries' Oracle and it features a bluish young faerie juggling his balls with a little help from the crouching faerie on the head of large gnome who is looking in two directions at once. A strange name for a strange card but for today I will focus on whether or not it is possible to always maintain our balance, in every moment, whatever it may bring. I think not. In my humble opinion balance is something we can strive for, experience it for a while and eventually, we fall out of balance again. This cycle will keep repeating itself as long as we keep striving for balance. Maybe this cycle is also a sort of balance or perhaps even more a rhythm of life with its ups and downs; of breathing in and breathing out. It definitely sounds more natural to me than maintaining our balance at all cost, all the time.

So for today I will take it easy because the last few days were quite busy.  For me a perfect  way to live a balanced life J