Five of Air - Fear

Today's card is Five of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. It's called Fear. When I saw this card my throat tightened and I felt almost immediately my anxiety creeping up on me. How could I write about fear? How could I share the magnitude of the hold it has over me. Fear is my constant companion and my biggest enemy.  It protects me from having to take risks and it prevents me from living a full life. It binds me to home, it lets my paints go to waist. It keeps me from playfully trying but it also prevents me from failing.
The question this card is asking me is how to face and perhaps even befriend my fear. How to coax it gently from de driver's seat to the back seat. Fear should not be seen as an enemy but as a way of learning about possible risks and how to proceed with caution and curiosity. Only when Fear is taking over all other instincts and our will to move forward we have to step up and say: "No more of this!"
Today this card has inspired me to blog and express myself, despite feeling blocked and thinking I have nothing to add to the conversation. I think Fear and I are going to have a serious chat about who is in charge of Ellen...

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." Thich Nhat Hanh

Eight of Swords - I am my own worst enemy

My life feels often quite overwhelming lately.  Perhaps because stuff is always happening beyond my control or it might be caused by the fact I am gradually trying to get off my sleeping medication which is mainly a “Stop worrying at night pill”

So for today, I have asked my cards how to simplify my life and I got, please don’t laugh, the Eight of Swords from the Raven's Prophecy Tarot. I didn’t see that one coming. This card is all about getting trapped by our own beliefs, our need to control and our self-doubt. This card is about being our own worst enemy. Look how the right hand is holding the left and causing us to be the victim and the attacker at the same time. The Eight of Swords tells me that maybe my life isn’t that overwhelming but that my thoughts about it are creating a more or less distorted vision of it; seeing problems and obstacles which aren’t there yet and probably will never be there either. It is hard to recognize the obsessive worrying and making up scenarios with the worst outcomes, after such a long time but it is good to know my cards are here to encourage me to stop this self-defeating behavior. Perhaps it is time to start meditating again and to practice living in the here and now, which is always perfect, simple and easy to manage.