The Tower – Raging fires

Yesterday I pulled the Nine of Wands from the Mary-El tarot as my card for the day. This card felt really significant since my inner Tiger has been dormant for quite some time now.  I know Tigers don’t hibernate but it sure does look like mine is a real sleepyhead.

Today I asked my deck of cards what I could do to wake up my Tiger and ignite my inner fire again. I pulled the Tower. Now, why does this not surprise me one bit? Really, I can’t think of a more suitable card to answer this question with. The Tower is the strongest wakeup call in the whole deck. Its energy crushes unfounded structures and old and outdated beliefs. It undermines the stories we tell about ourselves. It wrecks everything we thought was true and sacred. All these things and much more is as fuel for the raging fire we see in this card.

I believe we can release our Tiger and set our true self free if we are willing to sacrifice our illusion of safety and security, our preconceived notion of how life ought to be, and many more things that no longer are part of our reality but only hold us captive in our Tower. This doesn’t always mean we have to change our whole life: A new job, a new house, and a new husband etc. I think it is more often a radical change of our perspective and a new way of setting our goals and priorities. For me, it is mainly about getting Fear out of the driver’s seat and reclaiming my strength and confidence to chart my own course in life.

Nine of Wands and Strength – Breathe and stand down for while

My question for today was which part of me is in need of some nurturing and loving attention and I pulled the Nine of Wands from the Shadowscapes Tarot. 

Yes, lately I am too often fully armored and expecting the worst. That is my default mode when stress is piling up and I feel like I have to be ready for whatever calamity might happen next. But of course, that is all in my head because nobody knows what the next moment will bring and I am not responsible what others might do. My sole responsibility lies in my answer to their actions.

Then I was wondering how I could pamper my inner warrior, my always present sentinel and I pulled Strength. In this card, the rider has dismounted his lion and caresses his manes.  Behind him, a cat is playing with a bell tied to a ribbon. Birds are flying over him and the bamboo in the background is reminding him of how swaying in the wind without breaking, is a strength too. Look how the yellow from the first card lowers itself easily into the next. While the first card is uptight and is asking for constant alertness, the second card lets us breathe and enjoy the moment. Today this card radiates balance and inner peace for me

Even the guy in the Nine of Wands needs to stand down for moment if he want to do his job properly otherwise when the real attack come he is lying in his bed with a burnout  

Uruz and Six of Pentacles - Both sides of the coin are equally valid

Today’s rune is Uruz (ox) the rune of strength and vitality and I wondered what kind of energy would make me feel more alive and would invigorate me so I would be able to jump into the new year with some fresh enthusiasm and inspiration. Then I drew the Six of Pentacles…

Not what I was expecting but it does make sense. Often we feel the most alive when we matter to other people; when we give our time and energy to those who need it more than we do.  Mind you the Six of Pentacles is a card of reciprocity. It doesn’t only encourage us to give, give, give, even though this is often the easiest part of this card. When we, in turn, are lacking resources it is up to us to ask for help to others. Don’t expect they will notice our need because this often leads to disappointment and further withdrawal. Ideas of not being seen or worthy of love will start to arise. No, let’s be brave and ask for help. This will strengthen your love for yourself and your trust in other people. So either way, this card will strengthen you.  

Without- Within- Advice spread with the Mary El Tarot

For today I wanted to do a daily three card spread which I found it the guidebook of the Mary El tarot

Without - The world

It seems I have it all under control. I have a house, a steady income, good health, a loving family and I am able to cope with the ups and downs life will present me with. Life is good and I am content. My dreams are fulfilled and I have nothing to complain about.

Within – Six of Wands

This is the archangel Michael, slayer of demons and dragons. Yes, although life is good, I still have many demons to confront. The question this card is asking me is if I want to slay my demons or if I want to assimilate them to become a more complete person. I think the latter. My demons are my own, they are part of who I am, although perhaps they are a bit deformed and grown out of proportion over the years. Marie White states that in this card our higher self meets our shadow. I think that although this might be scary, it is a necessary encounter which we can’t escape forever.

Advice - Ace of Wands

Roar woman! Show your strength and think of a creative way to lure your demons into the light. Don’t be afraid of who you are because you are wonderful and one of kind. This card is the primordial spark of creation. It is the embodiment of courage and power; the seed of our creativity and our intent. What better card to call us to arms than this one.  It is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer us and we only have to reach out than grab it, because it is always and everywhere!

I feel that when I can harness the power of this ace and meet my demons with courage and confidence the energy of The World will become an intrinsic part of who I am.

Eight of Wands - Keep your calm in a chaotic world

Today’s card is the Eight of Wands from the Llewellyn tarot. We see the familiar eight Wands in the air, although today it doesn’t feel like they are all going in the same direction. Some seem to go upwards and some seem to fall from the sky. What also stands out is the calmness of the grazing deer. Some are eating and some are watchful but they are all convinced there is no need to fight or run to a safer place.

Often when a lot of Wands are flying over our head we tend to jump up, decide, act, again and again until each Wand is taken care of. We don’t like to allow those Wands to pass freely without our interference and to watch how life unfolds. To be able to do this demands a great amount of trust and confidence in our inner strength and in our resilience when something isn’t going as we hoped it would.

There is a lot happening in my life but I have to take a step back from most things, instead of jumping in, to “help” and  “fix it all. This card teaches me perfectly how to live in a chaotic world.

Time for lunch J

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset." Saint Francis de Sales

Seven of Spirals and Seven of Scrolls – The power of imagination

Yesterday I drew the Seven of Spirals (Assertion) from the Chrysalis Tarot and which conveyed a strong inner “Yes” in me!  Since my “nurture” plans for Monday (due to all sorts of reasons) didn’t see the light of day, I figured I was entitled to a second chance to pamper myself.

But this card is not only about retreat and setting boundaries but also about going deep within (spirals) and finding your inner strength.  A strength which is so powerful that you will have to find the right balance to assert yourself. It pleases me the bear is sitting quietly in her cave and her gaze is more than enough to keep unwanted visitors at bay. Without growling or showing her claws she protects her sacred space. She knows her strength so she has no need to show it all the time. Only if needed she will react more fiercely. 

So this morning I asked what to do next and I got the Seven of Scrolls (indecision). This card feels very akin to the Two of Swords but it also highlights the need for creative imagination. As humans we are able to decide on so many levels: instinctive first reaction, logical reasoning, intuition, emotional response etc.

It is up to us which of these options we would use to make our decision but now and then it might be helpful not to pick our go-to problem-solving strategy. As a Queen of Swords person, this card tells me to let go of my reasoning abilities for a change and try to tap into my more creative imaginative side. That will help me to ponder what could be behind those two doors? Which one should I open? Where will it lead me? What does it bring me? So many questions, I think I might stay in my cave for another day also because it will be a very hot and humid day. 

Uruz and the King of Bows – Strength and flexibility

My rune for this beautiful Winter day is Uruz (Aurochs). This is the rune of strength; both psychical and emotional and often also spiritual. It is the rune of courage, endurance and determination. This rune often comes up when you need a reminder that you are worth fighting for and that it is time to make a stand.

So what energy will help me to embrace the qualities of Uruz: the King of Bows - Adder from the Wildwood tarot. Together these two are  masculine energy squared.  The King of Bows aka the King of Wands is the personification of confidence, wisdom and strength. This is the third King in a short while to make his appearance into my life. Maybe it is time sit on the throne of my own life again.

Being in pain and/or just discomfort for two months in a row is not so beneficial for your mental well being.  I miss doing the things which make my heart sing. So yesterday I picked up a watercolor brush and  some paints and splashed some colors on a page. Did it hurt? Yes, a bit. Was is beautiful? Not particularly. But oh my god(dess) it made me so happy. I even hummed a bit. Sometimes when you are sitting on the fence of life for a long time, it is hard to get back in the saddle again. This process calls for the qualities of Uruz and especially the creative flexibility of the King of Bows. It might require taking some detours to achieve what makes me happy but I am positive I will get there. 

Strength - My lion is running wild!

Today’s card is Strength from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. This is a card of compassion and surrender, of emotional control and patience: of all kinds of Strength. As with many cards in the deck this is a card of seeking balance. Here it is about balance between the maiden and the lion. With a gentle touch the maiden subdues the strong instinctual urges of the lion. Most of the time this is perfectly doable for me but when I am really tired and overwhelmed my inner lion starts running around aimlessly, trying to find anything which could ease his mind. Radical solutions are tempting. He is highly impressionable for how others find their way out of the forest.  Also he susceptible for enabling on social media.

When my lion  is behaving like that my first instinct is to catch and lock him up in a dark corner of my mind. My inner Queen of Swords wants to pull the strings at all time.

But since this card is about patience and compassion, it is more wise to listen to my Lion’s needs and find a way which suits us both. Most likely this will be the Middle Way. It won’t be the easiest road to travel but for now it will be the kindest and most loving one to follow.

New Moon in November

Today’s cards are picked by myself from the Anna K Tarot to represent my intention for the coming lunation.

Release - The seven of cups.

Lately I feel the desire more than usual to buy stuff on an impulse. YouTube is a very powerful enabler. Lots of gorgeous decks are unboxed, revealed, and reviewed. Besides that I feel the urge to smoke a cigarette more often and more intense. And don’t get me started about milk chocolate with hazelnuts. I know giving in to these cravings only will give short time fulfillment but none the less I feel them so intense.

Embrace - Strength. This card beautifully represents for me the practice of “Feeding your Demons” developed by Lama Tsultrim Allione which Bev  introduced me to.

The woman in this depiction of Strength is facing her inner lion, her untamed self, the sum of  her intense emotions and burning desires. She asks her what it is she really needs because it isn’t chocolate, the next new deck or a cigarette. And gently her lion puts her paw on the woman’s lap and looks at her with her deep brown eyes and she knows: Her lion needs to be loved, comforted, held, cared for, listened to, and so many other things that money just can’t buy. When all of her needs are met she can unfasten the collar and sit with her quietly.

I love it that in this depiction the lion is female too, which highlights the fact that the woman and the lion are on and the same.

This month I am going to focus on tending to my lions needs and to be compassionate with every part of myself when things get difficult. I also want to focus more on being grateful for what I have.   

Gratitude: Today I am grateful for seeing through the illusion that things will give me what I really need and for the inner strength to change my behavior patterns    

The Three of Wands - Almost on my way again

After the Ace and the Two of wands, today we have the Three of Wands from the Crystal Visions Tarot. It almost feels like a sort of drum roll before I on my way, moving forward again after being ill: First the Ace with all the expectations en choices and options; then the Two which urged me to slow down, find out what I truly want and think about how I want to pursuit it. And now in  the Three of Wands we see a woman sitting on a rock. The lake is left behind and she is watching her radiant crystal ball. She knows  what she wants, where she wants to go. Her vision is crystal clear. Her path is laid out before her and she only has to follow her star. (This star is in fact a blemish on my card J). She doesn't have to go alone on this adventure She has two animal guides to go with her: A lion cub and a little dragon. Both animals are still young and immature but when fed and played with, they can grow into fierce allies on a creative journey.  They both represent inner strength and passion which are definitely Wandsy traits, I personally have to nurture and develop more. I know they are in there, but I don’t have the guts to see them in their true appearance. In my mind they will  always stay small, similar to the two pets of this woman in the three of Wands. Maybe this card is also about gathering confidence and strength and about raising these youngsters before we are good to go. (luckily in our mindscape this can be done a lot faster then in reality)

So for today I will feed and play with my inner dragon and lion and see if they are already up to the challenge to move forward again.