Without- Within- Advice spread with the Mary El Tarot

For today I wanted to do a daily three card spread which I found it the guidebook of the Mary El tarot

Without - The world

It seems I have it all under control. I have a house, a steady income, good health, a loving family and I am able to cope with the ups and downs life will present me with. Life is good and I am content. My dreams are fulfilled and I have nothing to complain about.

Within – Six of Wands

This is the archangel Michael, slayer of demons and dragons. Yes, although life is good, I still have many demons to confront. The question this card is asking me is if I want to slay my demons or if I want to assimilate them to become a more complete person. I think the latter. My demons are my own, they are part of who I am, although perhaps they are a bit deformed and grown out of proportion over the years. Marie White states that in this card our higher self meets our shadow. I think that although this might be scary, it is a necessary encounter which we can’t escape forever.

Advice - Ace of Wands

Roar woman! Show your strength and think of a creative way to lure your demons into the light. Don’t be afraid of who you are because you are wonderful and one of kind. This card is the primordial spark of creation. It is the embodiment of courage and power; the seed of our creativity and our intent. What better card to call us to arms than this one.  It is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer us and we only have to reach out than grab it, because it is always and everywhere!

I feel that when I can harness the power of this ace and meet my demons with courage and confidence the energy of The World will become an intrinsic part of who I am.

Three of Coins – Tending to your roses

Today’s card is the Three of Coins from the Raven's Prophecy Tarot. Three roses, although yet partially open, are bound to come into full bloom. As long as we keep caring for them, they will reach their full potential and our hard work will be rewarded. This is what we all hope for when we begin a creative project. But even though we put in all our effort, so many things, often beyond our control can go wrong.  It is then that we are truly tested. Do we give up or do we work even harder to try to get rid of the infestations and diseases roses are so susceptible for? When we are not that experienced in tending to our roses, we’d better ask for help from somebody who is. After all, the three of Coins is also a card of teamwork.

For me, the three lights above the roses, symbolize trust and even the confidence that these roses will bloom one day because without it we wouldn’t be able to do all this hard work and to keep going when things get more difficult. Yes, despite setbacks and challenges, these lights will help us to bring our project to fruition. 

The Devil – Please wake me up!

Today’s card is Cernunnos, The Devil, from the Druidcraft Tarot. The two figures from The Lovers are in a deep sleep, probably dreaming of their sensual encounter in that card. 

Cernunnos, The God of the wild hunt and the underworld, is watching them, curious, if or when they will wake up. He is not evil or holding them captive against their will. He is just observing if those two can manage to embrace the material aspects of life without becoming addicted to them. As everything and always in life, this is a fine line to walk:  too much will often lead to addiction and obsession but too little can bring about disgust for everything physical. Both excesses are prone to cause a lot of damage to ourselves. The challenge of the card is to wake up and continue our journey even if that leads us to the next card: The Tower.

So who what energy can wake us up? The Queen of Wands, the good with of the deck. She has a pointy magic wand in her hand and when I look at those two naked bodies in the other card, it is not difficult to imagine what she will do with her wand…

Sometimes we need a bit of external encouragement when we can’t find it within ourselves. This could be a new project or hobby, a conversation with a friend or reading an inspiring book, as long as it sparks our inner fire and puts us on our feet again.

Today, for me, the Queen of Wands represents my excitement to join two IG challenges for the month of October: One about shadow work and the other one about connecting to the Feminine Divine. Will I finish them?  I don’t know, but I do love the thrill and the creative boost of starting these two challenges.

Page of Wands - Don’t forget to fuel your fire

Today’s card is the Page of Wands from the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot and instead of a childlike page with a wand in his hand, it depicts a burning match, symbolizing “the raw spark of an idea”. The Page of Wands is all about confidence, curiosity and wanting to experience it all. However, the problem with a single match is that it often burns out before it can start a real fire. We tend to get enthralled by this tiny little flame and forget to give it fuel to make it burn brighter and stronger. This often results in burned fingers and a feeling of disappointment and missed chances. The question we need to ask ourselves is if we want to use this fire to fuel our passion and desire to create, or if want to let it go to waste and wait for the next match to lit up.

We all have those days when great ideas pop up and fly away again but sometimes we need to try to take hold of that spark of inspiration, fuel it and start a fire.

Today I am going to rearrange my altar for this season and I want to try to keep it simple but meaningful.

What are you going to create today?

Page of wands - Get off the beaten path

Today’s card is the Page of Wands from the Llewellyn Tarot. This is a card filled with enthusiasm and a zest for life. This Page is playful and he always feels the need to try new things and broaden his horizon.

When I saw this card my first thoughts were: “Well, it is clear this isn’t me today.” Lately, my energy level is quite low and I feel absolutely uninspired to do the things I usually love to do. While writing this I realize this is exactly the message I need to hear: get off the beaten path and do something out of the ordinary:  Wear something colorful instead of always black, draw with crayons instead of watercolors, read fairy tales, anything as long as it is different from what you normally do.

For a habitual person like me, this could become quite an adventure but I believe if the little rabbit is up to it so am I. I think my inner child, whom I have promised some extra attention this month, will be quite excited about this.

Seven of Spirals and Seven of Scrolls – The power of imagination

Yesterday I drew the Seven of Spirals (Assertion) from the Chrysalis Tarot and which conveyed a strong inner “Yes” in me!  Since my “nurture” plans for Monday (due to all sorts of reasons) didn’t see the light of day, I figured I was entitled to a second chance to pamper myself.

But this card is not only about retreat and setting boundaries but also about going deep within (spirals) and finding your inner strength.  A strength which is so powerful that you will have to find the right balance to assert yourself. It pleases me the bear is sitting quietly in her cave and her gaze is more than enough to keep unwanted visitors at bay. Without growling or showing her claws she protects her sacred space. She knows her strength so she has no need to show it all the time. Only if needed she will react more fiercely. 

So this morning I asked what to do next and I got the Seven of Scrolls (indecision). This card feels very akin to the Two of Swords but it also highlights the need for creative imagination. As humans we are able to decide on so many levels: instinctive first reaction, logical reasoning, intuition, emotional response etc.

It is up to us which of these options we would use to make our decision but now and then it might be helpful not to pick our go-to problem-solving strategy. As a Queen of Swords person, this card tells me to let go of my reasoning abilities for a change and try to tap into my more creative imaginative side. That will help me to ponder what could be behind those two doors? Which one should I open? Where will it lead me? What does it bring me? So many questions, I think I might stay in my cave for another day also because it will be a very hot and humid day. 

Four of Swords – Quiet down our Inner Critic

Today’s question is: "How can I let go of self doubt?" and I pulled the Four of Swords. As you know this is one of my “sigh” cards; my permission to let go and quiet down the mind from anxiety and those nagging critical inner voices.  After having completed my oracle challenge on IG, I am experiencing waves of self doubt again. Afraid of putting something on the page which is less “pretty“ than my DIY deck.  Even in my art journal, where I try to play more freely and experiment with my art supplies, I feel the urge to create something “beautiful” and with “beautiful” I mean worthy to show other people. This feeling  has made it crystal clear to me  my that  Inner Critic is holding the reins (again)

So this morning I decided to take up my habit of writing 750 Words a day, before doing anything else. This is the digital equivalent of writing morning pages. For me it is a perfect way to clear my mind and to get those creative juices flowing again. This way I will be able to create room to relax and to do whatever fills me with joy, without any result oriented expectations. This  could be just as simple as allowing myself to take a nap, a walk or perhaps filling up a (new) page in my art  journal just for the fun of it. And no, I am not obliged to finish the last page and make it more “pretty”. Maybe it is even better to fill up some loose leave pages first. Just putting a few collage elements, some paint and some scribbles on them to overcome my fear and to loosen up a bit. The only rule is to keep it abstract!

All and all a very timely question for me today.

The Singer of healing – Start Hummmmmming

Today’s card is The Singer of Healing from The Faeries’ Oracle.  This card is all about healing of body mind and spirit. Much like a holistic healer this singer sings his song over every part of our being, to heal our injuries and restore our balance. But before he can sing for us we have to accept there is something amiss.  The next step is to be willing to receive healing. To open ourselves up; to ask for help. Perhaps this is the most difficult part of a healing process; admitting we need help.

Sometimes we aren’t even aware we do need help. We have become so proficient in hiding, denying or numbing our pain to a point that we have become unaware that there is something wrong .

I have discovered that accepting I need healing  in an early stage of my affliction is definitely speeding things up  for the better. I am more susceptible for advice and suggestions on how to move forward and away from my feelings of depression.

This time around I have been (at first reluctantly)participating in an IG challenge to create your own oracle deck. by Kristen from @otmoraclecards

It was  a bit scary because I hadn’t painted in months. Then it became almost addictive and I painted several cards a day. Now things are settling down again and I feel  so much more confident and less downhearted.  Again, I had to make the decision get better, to start painting  but after that The Singer of Healing started to hummmmm….

Page of Bows – Stoat: Jump!

Today’s card is the Page of Bows –Stoat from the Wildwood tarot. A perfect card to lift up my spirit after yesterday’s post. This card is the equivalent of the Page of Wands from the RWS deck. Its youthful playful energy includes a.o: creativity, willfulness, impulsiveness and curiosity and since this animal is a predator, I would like to add fierceness as well.

Look at him standing on his rock, one paw lifted, ears pricked up, and the point of his tail is slightly curved. His whole demeanor radiates excitement before action. Maybe that's what this Page is all about for today:  To find something which excites me, makes me curious and then jump in fearlessly. Just do it and make the best of it. I can’t imagine a stoat refusing to jump of his rock because he is afraid to hurt his paw. He just jumps because he know he has to and he deals with the consequences in the next moment. No, I don’t suggest we should live recklessly but a little less planning and thinking ahead might result in a lot more fun and enjoyment. The fear of making mistakes is more than often depriving us of joyful living

So for today I say to myself: let’s jump of that rock and finish my latest art journal page. Whether or not I am content with the final result, I am sure I will enjoy myself a lot while playing with my art supplies! 

Berkano and Four of Vessels - Get up and get going!

Today´s rune is Berkano (Birch). It is the rune of creative energie and the femine principle: The Empress of the Elder Futhark. The challenge of Berkano is to take care better of ourselves and to try to improve our  well-being; not only physically but also emotionally. Besides being a strong nurturing energy, Berkano also encourages us to give birth to our creative ideas. We can only gestate them for so long before they wither and die within us, which will cause us maybe more pain than the birthing process itself.

So what energy will help me to embrace the spirit of Berkano today? From the Wildwood Tarot I pulled: Four of Vessels- Boredom. Well this is a crystal clear advice. The only thing I have to do is to get up and to leave this energy devouring state of inactivity. 

While the traditional Four of Cups sometimes might be interpreted as meditation, nobody will belief this applies to the woman in the Four of Vessels. She obviously feels disconnected, stuck, sorry for herself, and she has created a black hole of despair inside of her. But holes can be filled,  if we only let the energy flow again. The only one who can begin this process is us. We have to ignite  that first spark. We have the key to open doors to new opportunities. So let’s get up,  turn around and step through the portal behind us. It may be scary but we already have everything we need to take this next step in our journey.

NB Perhaps this portal connects to the one from in the Yew tree of my previous post?

Queen of Rods – I've got your back

Today’s card is the Queen of Rods from the Anna K Tarot.  She is the Sun incarnated. It is such a vibrant yellow card. This queen is self-confident and  self determined. She is all about making the most out of her life. Freedom to pursue her dreams and creativity is most important for her. Don’t cage her, don’t  hinder her, because then you will meet a whole other, not so pleasant part of her. Usually this queen is depicted with a cat so I tend to relate her to the goddess Freya or Bast. Both are fiery passionate solar goddesses.

As you might understand, I am thirsting for some passion and creativity in my life, which currently is still hard to find for me. So the encouragement of this card is very welcome today. I don’t  feel pushed or reprimanded by her. It feels more like she is coming to reassure me that she is still out there and that she hasn’t abandoned me.  It is almost as if she is saying: “He, it’s cool I've got your back. Don’t fret about anything. Just enjoy the first signs of Spring and try to soak up some sunshine today.”

Three of Pentacles and Ace of Wands – A gentle kick in the butt

As you all know, I haven’t been feeling so well lately. Also I have been considering to take a short hiatus from blogging and social media all together.  Some days it feels like I am just going through the motions and ticking of my daily boxes.  The last two days I have been pampering myself and it felt really good: listening to music, reading books, drinking coffee, nibbling on biscuits, taking long showers and so forth. But  even pampering gets boring, although I am still not there yet. So  I asked my cards for advice on where to go from here. 

The Three of Pentacles came up: Creativity shared with friends. No Hermit or Four of Swords, which are my go-to cards in a situation like this. The other card which came up was the Ace of Wands: A budding wand, filled with so much potential. But be careful not to nip all these juicy ideas in the bud. Choose one and cherish is like a new born child.  

So here I am again with another blog post thanks to my “cardboard therapist” and it actually feels good to write this; sharing how it is right now and not pretending to be something I am not. Feeling like this often fills me with shame and/or guilt, because how can I permit myself these feelings when so many live in much more dire circumstances than I do. But it is what it is and I know from experience I will get better, probable sooner than later, because I’ve learned to recognize the signs early on.

Feeling like this confronts me with difficult lesson in self love. It is so easy  to love and  embrace who we are when all is well and life is on the upside but this lesson is about the hardest part: loving ourselves when we are faced with parts of ourselves we don’t like at all and are often embarrassed about.

 “I will be gentle with myself and I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go” Karin Drucker

The Sun - How to get real

Since yesterday I have been thinking a lot about how to become more authentic and true to who I really am. This was brought about by several events during the day: reading Carolyn’s post about the Inner Child, reaching the chapter about Authenticity in  “The gifts of imperfection” by Brene Brown and becoming painfully aware of my “obligation” to be creative.

All this is strongly encouraging me to find out what it is I really want, as opposed to what I think I should want. Life can be so much more than ticking of boxes, even if they represent enjoyable activities.

 I have to admit I do find it a bit scary; maybe I don’t want to know what I really want or who I really am but then again I don’t like this feeling either.  

One thing which is in my opinion crucial to touch on this deeper layer is to live more mindfully and to make a full stop when a choice has to be made. This way we have the time to listen to our inner wisdom and to our inner child. I strongly belief that both of them are beyond pleasing and pretending.

Also I think tarot can be a great tool to trigger deeper buried desires and needs, especially when you read  the cards purely intuitively. So I have pulled two cards for today:

What do I think I want? Queen of Wands

I think I want to be a passionate, outgoing, confident and creative woman. I want to speak up and to be heard. I want to be unafraid of failure as well as of success. I want tot breath fire with my words. 

As lovely and juicy this all may  sound maybe this is not really who I am at this moment and also not who I aspire to be for now.

What do I really want? The Sun

I do like the become more self aware and to shed some light over the shadowy parts of my personality. My inner child seems to be in dire need of some sunshine lately. I want to learn more about who I am and to see this as the beginning of a journey within, which will bring me more wisdom, joy and happiness than pretending to be something I am not. Also I want to keep safe everything I learn along the way safe and protect it from old habitual thinking patterns. So I will keep the light of the Sun close to my heart and let it illuminate my way.

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are” Brene Brown

Three of Pentacles and Perthro - Creative soul searching

Today’s Rune is Perthro (cup) which  is all about mystery, the unknown, the womb and wisdom . So I asked for my daily draw: "How can I dig deeper into my subconscious to  illuminate my soul; to find wisdom there, which will guide  me on my path?" 

And I got the three of Pentacles. I had hoped I would pull The Hermit but no, no hiding for me in my room today. The Three of  Pentacles is my Creativity card. And what would be better to explore my soul than through some intuitive painting or free flow writing. I’ve just recently experienced how my art is able to unlock parts me without my initial intent. But this card is about more than locking myself away with my paint and journals. It is also about sharing my art and my writing with other people and be open to their opinions. Over the years  I’ve added  the insights from so many different people to my own magical cup of wisdom….

And just now I realize I’ve started this blog almost three years ago. I’ve learned so much from all of you! So to all my readers I want to say: 

Thank you for your wisdom, your encouragement, your kindness and your friendship. It means so much to me. 

When art has a mind of its own

A few days ago I wanted to play in my artjournal and this time I felt like making something abstract: no pretty faces or flowers or even a jumping dolphin. I just wanted to get  some colors on the page and maybe add few marks. Everything about this page would be playful and intuitive. So I started to paint with hues of red, yellow, orange and brown.  

After the first few layers had dried, I noticed the shape of a cloak behind a tree and immediately all my intentions with this page where gone, like dust in the wind. The painting took my hand and guided me into a darkening autumnal forest where a little girl and her dolly came across  a cloaked woman with a lantern in her hand. .. I added some oil pastels to enhance the shapes which were eager to be found.

Then the only thing to do was to add some details and this is the final result:

Although I really enjoyed working on this page, the next one might be an abstract. But then again nothing is certain when you start playing in your  artjournal

Seven of Wands – A time to clear out the Dead Wood

For today I pulled the Seven of Wands from the Original Rider Waite Tarot and I picked its counterparts from the Wildwood Tarot and The Wild Unknown Tarot. 

When I pulled this card, the first thing that came to mind was of course “standing up for your beliefs” but when I saw the other two cards, I was reminded of how some of us (including myself), struggle with too many creative idea’s, passions and whatever keeps our heart and soul occupied. That got me thinking about the concept of pruning. After the Summer our garden looks a bit like a jungle. Some of our plants, like the Wisteria, even grow offshoots which almost strangle you when you walk past them. But if you want to have flowers and the next year you have to master the art of pruning. Prune too much and the plant will wither and die, too little and all its energy will go to maintaining all the excess branches and leaves instead of growing new flowers. In short we have to prune our non viable ideas (for now) to give room to our most  passionate desire to come to fruition. And perhaps maybe you will be amazed by how rich and luscious your creative talents will grow and develop.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.” Steve Jobs

Soulcards and Runes – A perfect Match

Even though I didn’t intent to blog today, I had to write this post because my daily draw was definitely worth writing about.

For today I’ve used my runes and Soulcards 2.  Since the  two Soulcard decks don’t come with any keywords or guidebook, they can sometimes be a tiny bit overwhelming if you don’t have a specific question to ask. And I don’t know about you but I don’t have that many urgent questions early in the morning. So I thought I would be a good idea to let my runes decide the subject or question for my daily Soulcard and I pulled Nauthiz – need

So my question was: What do I need today”; what is an absolute necessity to make the most out of this day?” and I pulled my Soulcard and what a gorgeous card this is. Immediately words and phrases come to mind: creative fire,  Earth Mother, Queen of Wands, instinctual, listen to your intuition,  Brigid,  don’t gestate but give birth, embrace you feminine power, her sacral chakra and third eye are on fire….

I love it how she is actually on fire but she doesn’t get burned. It is the fire of creative encouragement, of inspirational power

For me today it means, I did write this post, I drew a picture of her in my tarot journal and I am going to  finish my Art journal page from yesterday… and… I have meditated this morning since I don’t know how long ago.

Have a fiery day everybody!!

The Emperor and the Nine of Pentacles - Practice makes… Happy

Yesterday I’ve pulled two cards from the Rider Wait tarot for my daily draw. One to answer the question: what is preventing me from experiencing creative freedom and the next would be telling me what my gift would be if I could embrace this freedom, which is already within me, waiting to be found.

The first card, the challenging one, was The Emperor. Look at him sitting there in his armor on his concrete throne. If he would only look behind him, he would notice the mountains, symbolizing the blocks he is experiencing. But no, he just sits there being high and mighty and if he would sit there much longer I think his armor would immobilize him because of the thick layers of rust.  The Emperor in this position is rigid and controlling and is certainly not in the mood for a  playful and open minded approach of making of art.

If I would discover my creative freedom my gift would be the Nine of Pentacles: a feeling a success. fulfillment, happiness and tremendous self-worth. This card is a perfect follow up of the Eight of Pentacles, where we see a guy practicing his skills.

Together these two cards have influenced me enormously yesterday. First I went to the gym because I knew I had to get out of my chair and out of my head and that I had to start moving. Then after a refreshing shower I picked up my watercolors and painted a part of the Nine of Pentacles in my Tarot journal. That was a big step for me. Instead of writing a blogpost about it (the wish of The Emperor) I also painted a Sunflower which was so much fun to do. Sometimes it feels like I have to open the floodgate to my creativity, which can be so heavy and is sometimes almost nearly impossible to do but when it is open creating feels like the most natural thing to do and it makes me so very happy.

My artjournal page is done!

The Magicians from last Monday got some help from three Queen of Wands yesterday to persuade me to finish my artjournal page. I was inspired to create this page by a free workshop,“Art Journal Wisdom” from Connie Solera over at Dirty Footprints studio

On day three, “ Get It Out, Get It Down”  she invites you to write down everything what prevents you to create; your fears, your not being good enough and not having time enough; just write it down anything that comes to mind.

Then tear it up in little unreadable pieces and paste it on the page and paint over it. Use it as an extra layer in your art work. And so I did. I hid my fears under thick layers of earthy colors: good riddance! But to my surprise they’ve found a way out. In the distance a Vulcano is  erupting fire and brimstone. Apparently Fear of Failure can’t be suppressed and neither can any other emotion. So the woman is sitting there quietly and watching everything the volcano spits out, acknowledging every piece of fire and lava as parts of herself.

After the layers of paint I stopped working on it, not knowing what to do next but I was certain it wasn’t  finished yet. Today I created a final layer of oil pastel to enhance the shapes and colors of the painting. And now it is done!

The Magician - On your mark, get set, go!

My card for today is The Magician from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. Since I am participating in the Tarotperspective Experience on IG,  I pulled the Magician card also from the Wild Unknown Tarot and the Wildwood Tarot in order to deepen my understanding of this card.

What stands out almost immediately is the motionless posture of the three Magicians. It is almost  as if they are waiting for the signal to come into action. And when I am writing this, I realize it is me who needs to give the starting shot: steady ready go!

Then this big wild strong wildcat will run towards whatever his mind is focused on, the magician will channel the energy from above to whatever he wants to manifest in his life and the Shaman will share his knowledge how to travel into your inner realms to heal what needs to be healed in order to move on

I like how the tree Magicians each has his own expertise and how together they build such a more in depth description of this archetype.

For me today he urges me to get going and move forward toward the things that make me happy and feel confident. Beside knitting socks I have an art journal page to finish which I was putting off again and again. Getting back into artjournaling is really a magical experience. I never know what will happen if I put my first layers of paint on the  page. Most of the times it unfolds effortlessly and I just have to follow along, which is so relaxing. How strange that I keep myself from enjoying this practice so often

Anyway the Magician has get me going again, so next post will be my finished art journal page!