The Devil – Babysteps towards freedom

Today’s card is The Devil from The Wild Unknown Tarot.  He is the personification of temptation and indulgence.  He is all about satisfying the primal needs of our ego. Numbing us and tempting us to distract our mind from whatever needs our attention is his number one goal. Of course, he is not some evil mythical creature. No, he is an undeniable part of who we are. 

It often feels like he wants to keep me from exploring my inner shadows; from dealing with my issues so I won’t grow and change. The Devil is not keen on change; he wants to keep everything the way it is now. Safety and comfort are his favorite disguises to keep us in bondage.

So what to do if we do want to change and move forward in life and I pulled the Ace of Pentacles. Immediately my eyes were drawn to the fiery parts in each card: The devils burning feet and the glowing center of the trunk. It feels as if we can redirect the energy we give to our inner Devil towards a new beginning, an opportunity to change however small it might be.

My main numbing strategy is screen time.  Not the time I am blogging or reading other people’s blogs, posting pictures on IG and enjoying other people’s posts. No, it is the mindless clicking, the checking en rechecking for updates or new emails. It is watching too many YouTube videos and last but definitely, not least it is binge-watching crime series. This habit consumes so much of my precious time and energy.

So starting from today I am going to finish the two knitting projects I have been neglecting lately. Hopefully, this will help me to find some inner peace and keep me more present and aware of what’s going on in the here and now.

Defeating The Devil with the Ace of Pentacles

Today’s card is The Devil from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. We see a horned beast sitting on a block of concrete. A man and a woman are loosely chained to this block. If they wanted to, they could free themselves but fear and insecurity have stifled them.

The Devil is that part of your mind that whispers that you can’t do it, that you aren’t worthy or good enough, that if you can't do it well you’d better not do it at all or that you are just too tired today to do anything at all.  All these limiting and oppressing thoughts will keep you from moving forward, from growing, from becoming who you are meant to be and simply from enjoying your life.

So what to do when The Devil pays you a visit and throws his chains over your head? The Ace of Pentacles encourages us to get up and do something: do the dishes, water the plants, gesso a page. Whatever comes to mind, however simple it may be, the first action after the initial thought will set you free from the Devils influence.

What could be your Ace of Pentacles today?

Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Swords - Two creatures are walking in the forest

  

Two creatures are walking quietly in a dark forest. Each following their own path:

A warrior woman with her crow is carefully putting one foot before the other, expecting to be ambushed any moment from now. Behind every tree there  could be lurking a potential and ruthless enemy. There is only one way forward and there is no room for mistakes, because she knows that the tiniest mistake could be paid for with her life.

A hedgehog is scurrying between the rustling leaves, acorns and other autumnal seeds and fruits. The hedgehog is grateful for these small gifts from Mother Nature and while enjoying his meal he is always keeping an eye out for signals of danger. But he is not afraid. He knows he is more than capable to protect himself and so he strolls further over the crunching leaves without worrying about the sniffing and chewing and all the little noises he makes.

Two creatures are walking in the forest; Who are you or maybe  you are a bit of both?

(Ace of Pentacles and Eight of Swords from the Tarot of The Hidden Realm)

Different Cards; Same Message

Sometimes I think when my decks had actual voices, they would cry out this message even before I could pull a card. Today’s three card spread has given me a message I have got so many times before already. Honestly I do think I make a serious effort to respond to this message as well as I can but for today the Original Rider Waite Tarot thought I needed to see it laid out before me with yet another combination of cards:

Energy/ focus of today : the Ace of Pentacles. 

Since I’m almost continuously searching for a balance between expressing myself creatively and feeling safe enough to create without fear of failure this card feel like a gift of God(dess). And it is depicted as such in this deck too. This is the card of abundance and of small seeds coming to fruition. It is the beginning of something tangible and new. So here I am again encouraged to pick up my supplies and express myself  in whatever way  I feel is right for me today.

Challenge : King of Cups. The king of Cups is a wise and benevolent King but he is also detached from his own feelings. Always busy helping and understanding everybody else so he won’t have to put his feet into his own dark undercurrents. It is obvious that when everybody needs him, he doesn’t have the time to be introspective, let alone be creative at all.  I  will be on the lookout for this tendency of mine to put off my own needs so I can use all my energy for others (What a clever coping skill by the way)

Gift: The Magician: 

This is the card of confidence, capability, initiative and the courage to do whatever we really want to. His confidence is the perfect antidote for the deep rooted fear of the King of Cups. Just as the King is shying away from his Cup, the Magician will pick it up and use whatever it contains to his advantage and to manifest his deepest desire.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear. “

Six of Cups – I remember a time when…..

Today’s card is the Six of Cups from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. We see a woman bathing in the bay. This is where she can connect to her memories in a very soothing way. She feels them floating through her mind, just like the little waves are caressing her body. Some of those memories are kind and precious, some of them feel uncomfortable and sad but she tries to accept each one of them with gentle compassion. Often when something distressful has happened, it is not so easy to take a light-hearted stroll down memory lane again.  Personally I still find it very hard to revisit photo albums from more than a decade ago….

This card reminded me of an exercise I’ve read somewhere online once: 

Shuffle your deck, pull a card and finish the following sentence:

“I remember a time when…………

Whatever memory comes to mind when you look at your card, it's okay. It doesn’t matter if the meaning of the card has nothing to do with your memory.

Often memories are little snippets of a larger story. You can decide if you want to spent some more time there or if you want you can pull the next card. Don’t forget this exercise is supposed to be a pleasant experience. Try to embrace your memories with love and compassion. If a card disturbs you in any way feel free to pick another.

These four cards came up for me this morning:

.

Page of Wands: I remember a time when I got my first set of “real” watercolors and how amazed I was by the quality of its beautiful pigments.

Ace of Pentacles. I remember a time when I started my first job as a teacher and how thrilled I was that  I was the one who would teach these little persons how to read in less than a year

Seven of Pentacles: I remember two times when I shared my body with one of my girls. The waiting. The caring and attentive love of my husband. We became parents and I like to think we were good at it

Justice: I remember a time when I thought life wasn’t fair. Why did this have happen to us. But gradually over the years life taught me about balance and how time and new experiences fill the empty places

Maybe you would like to try this for yourself. You can journal about your memories or just sit with them for a while

"We don't remember days, we remember moments." Cesare Pavese

New Moon in December - Leaving my cave

For this New Moon I've drawn two cards as usual. The first one for the energy I am going to release and the second one for the energy which is beneficial for me to embrace. From the Druidcraft Tarot I pulled:

Release – Nine of Swords

Now that is a great card to draw for this position. Who wouldn’t want to release all their worries and think only happy thoughts?

As you might have read in my previous posts, there are a lot of changes occurring in my life right now. My first reaction to change is to try to control each and every one of them and when this isn’t possible (duh!!) then I worry about my lack of control. Also at night and in the early morning things always seem less positive and more difficult than during the day. In Dutch we have saying: “seeing a lot of bears on the road…”

Embrace – Ace of coins

Well look who is here: a bear! But I do get the distinct feeling that instead of me seeing the bear, this card is about me being the bear:

Slowly I am coming out of my cave, knowing my own worth and strength. It is not necessary I hide there any longer. I feel confident and at peace and I am entitled to claim my place in this new world full of opportunities and the promise of new beginnings (birches)

When a situation is somewhat difficult I often tend to retire to my room in to find peace and quiet. Chloe from Inner Whispers gave me the advice not only to seek shelter in my room (my cave), how lovely and cozy that might be, but also to create one in my mind so I can find peace within and take it with me wherever I go.

I suppose this strong brave bear has accomplished all this during the dark long winter nights in his cave. Yes, I think such a spiritual shelter cannot be made overnight but has to be build with multiply layers of courage, trust and faith…and most of all Love!

So for now I am going to fill a “Spiritual First Aid Box”: It will contain items which will help me to ground and center myself and to enter that place of peace and quiet within, not only when I am alone, but also when I am around other people.

Some of the items are:

My knitting and chrochet

My journal and pen

My art journal and pencil

My prayerbeads

Some crystals

A mandala coloring page with coloring pencils

A deck of tarot and/or oracle cards

More suggestions are always welcome!

Tarot Magic for a more Healthy Lifestyle (Part I)

For today, instead of a daily draw, I want to show you the cards I’ve picked which motivate me and might be helpful for me to start living more healthy. I also want to include them in a not quite finished tarot spell.

Last weekend I was painfully aware of the fact that my physical well-being has been on the back burner for way too  many years. My diet is far from healthy and seriously out of balance and I hardly exercise at all.  I know I make up tons of excuses but  I feel without a doubt the aging of my body starting to hinder me to do the things I want to do.  I am well aware of the fact that some processes can’t be stopped but I do want to give it a go to slow them down a bit.

This notion is strongly influenced by having pulled the Mother of Pentacles two times in row. She is not only protecting her fawn but also encouraging him to grow up and be the strongest deer of the herd.

Over the years I have more than once tried to change my not so healthy lifestyle but never with long-term results.

So if the old way doesn’t work for me than I should try something new: Magic!!

First I’ve flipped through my deck to pull every card which reminded me of physical wellbeing and then I narrowed it down to four cards to create a bridge spell which I’ve learned from Chloe of Inner Whispers.

The cards I’ve chosen are:

Situation/ Issue - Ace of Pentacles

This card represents my potential to become a healthy strong woman. I love it how even though the tree is cut down to a stump, there is still a strong life energy burning in the center to bring forth new life and new beginnings on the physical plane, represented by the budding twigs and leaves.

Energy needed 1 – Two of Wands

This is for me a card which represents the choice, the intent to actually do job. And when I would slack,  I will pick up my two wands and make that same choice  over and over again as many times as needed. 

Energy needed 2– Eight of Pentacles

This spider is teaching me to do the work. To start each day with a positive intent to work on my web and make it strong and flexible.  Changing a lifestyle  is a long-term process and when challenges arise, like wind and rain for the spider,  I have to “hang there” in and keep going anyway.

Result – Six of Wands.

Look how gracious this butterfly has freed herself from the tangle of branches. She is strong and has moved from the darkness of self-defeating actions into the light where the sun shines over her to celebrate her success

These three cards will become the center part of my Tarot spell, which will be the topic of my next post!

I pulled one extra card to ask how I should proceed with this spell and I got the Mother of Swords, my favorite court card in any deck.  She is telling me today, that first I should choose the wording of my spell wisely and secondly I should approach this new intent with the same motherly advise I would give my girls: be gentle but truthful to yourself. Don’t  believe everything your inner resistance is going to tell you along the way but wield your sword of truth and awareness and be mindful to address yourself with encouragement and compassion. 

Full Moon reading with the Crystal Visions Tarot

Yesterday the moon phase widget on my blog indicated there was a full moon. Yay for the widget, because the weather has been very cloudy for days, so the moon was nowhere be seen.

After my daily (yes, I am slowly getting into the habit again) meditation, I’ve pulled some cards from my Crystal Visions tarot by Jennifer Galasso, using the Full Moon Spread I’ve found on the Aeclectic Tarot forum.

The positions are the following:

0. Yourself in your current situation (from the base of the deck)- Queen of Pentacles

It seems this queen is very popular these days. She has been popping up on several blogs in various capacities and now she  has arrived here too. She is highlighting my effort to be more active, both physical and creatively and to get my nose out of the books and experiment with my new art supplies. I’ve also been working and playing with my Crystals a lot more. You can see in the depiction this queen is really loving them too. Also I would love to take my bike out for a ride but the heavy wind and the rain here are spoiling the fun. I feel I definitely take better care for myself lately

1. What can be seen with clarity, so bright that it can even blind you? - Ace of Pentacles

Since I feel a lot better than a month ago, it feels like I am much more capable  to bring my ideas into fruition. This ace is a symbol of abundance, wellbeing and manifesting your intent and for all these aspects I am truly grateful. E.g. I am more mindful of my diet, I make art, I want to revive my Dutch blog, I‘ve stopped biting my nails, I journal and meditate more regularly, so all and all I feel good about myself and the things I accomplish

2. What gets completed. What closes a cycle? - Four of wands

This feeling good is represented in the four of wands. Here we see a prince and his princess celebrating their union. They radiate joy and optimism for the future. I feel like they symbolize two parts of me who are now accepting and embracing each other: making me stronger and more resilient.

3. What begins to fade away, to darken, to abandon you... or what needs to be?- The unknown Card.  

This is the very first time I’ve pulled this card from the deck. This card is all about a hidden factor, an uncertainty. Since it is fading away I am not going to give it much thought. Perhaps it will reveal itself in my upcoming New moon spread. For now the crystal ball stay cloudy and unclear….

I like how this reading accentuates that I am feeling so much stronger than  a few weeks ago. For me the Full moon is all about celebrating your accomplishments of the last four weeks and expressing gratitude for what you have received . And I know I do have lot to celebrate and be grateful for.

Problem solving with tarot

This morning, when I woke up, I didn't feel that great. I was obsessing about, now please don’t laugh, which journal I would like to use for the coming time. This is an obsession which has been going on for as long as I write in my journals. I go back and forth between several formats and almost never really finish one. Sometimes I write everything in one book, or I use multiple journals; for each subject a different notebook. And don’t get me started about the actual journals I can choose from: ring-bound, spiral bound, hardcover, digital, A4, A5, A6, lined grid, blank…. the possibilities are endless. A typical first world problem or maybe a cover-up for an underlying issue. When I feel this anxious it is very hard to let go of. So instead of obsessing about it even further, I flipped trough my deck and picked a few cards face- up which visualize how I feel.

In short:

When too many choices are available, I get stuck, unable to move, while in my mind the quarrel is constantly going on and without a winner. The only thing I have to do is take of my blindfold get up and receive the gift of choosing one possibility, be content with it and start journaling. This will lead me through the gate towards freedom.

It is so easy. All I have to do is make one decision and release the illusion I have to solve this dilemma for eternity. Just choose for today and be happy with it.

Is it just me, or does any of you have such nagging, not at all crucial, long lasting, dilemma too?

Winter Solstice Tarot Reading

On the evening of the Winter Solstice I did a tarot reading for myself.  A lot of the blogs which I visit regularly had several spreads to choose from: Beth from Little Red Tarot shared with us her Winter Solstice/New Moon Tarot Spread

Sarah from the Tarot Parlor came up with  a Short & Sweet New Year Spread which is of course also perfect for the Winter Solstice.

Last but not least Kerry from Neopagan Priestess has posted her Yule spread.

This is the one I've picked for myself to use on this special night. Not only because it is a very profound spread but honestly also because it was the smallest one and I do like my spreads to be both meaningful and simple.

I love it when I can visualize these small spreads during the following days and when I do decide to blog about them there is less to translate. (just kidding J  )

Kerry's spread has two cards with the following questions:

1) What will help me sit with the darkness right now?
2) What will help me transform  it into light?

I've used the Wildwood Tarot which is personally for me the most wintery deck I have and I've got:

       

1 The Seer (The High Priestess)

In the card of The Seer,again we see the symbol of water. The Seer is using it for scrying and to me that is a lot like “diving deep”  from my previous post. When you look at her face she is very concentrated and perhaps a bit anxious for what she is about to see beneath  the surface of the water but when the moon is dark and the Winter Solstice is here, it is just the time to explore these caverns of your soul. You may encounter secret longings, abandoned and or sacrificed parts of yourself, less favorable traits and so on. Just to look at them and acknowledge them can help you to feel a bit more whole again. 

2 Ace of Stones (Ace of Pentacles)

Then there is the Ace of stones: a large standing stone to go to and wrap your arms around in order to ground and center yourself after being submersed into your inner darkness. To transform this darkness into light you just have to be and to do. Take the opportunities given to you to really engage in the here and now.  I have been sitting on the bench to long due to my neck pains and had too much time to worry and feeling sorry for myself.

Being just a few days away from Christmas there will be a lot shopping, baking bread and cookies and (a bit of) cleaning to do. I am going to try to participate in these activities as much as I can without overdoing it. Watching over my physical well-being is also a gift from the Ace of Stones.

The full Harvest Moon of September – Tarot Spell

Yesterday, it was the night of the full Harvest moon and encouraged by Bev from By the Sycamore Tree I've decided to create a tarot spell/visual prayer in order to help me cope with and accept the coming changes in my family. (S will be moving out when her boyfriend finds a job) Also to help me see these changes in a positive light; perhaps even as a kind of personal harvest after years of mothering.

I've  learned this type of spell from Kerry from Neopagan Priestess. The tarot is a wonderful tool to visualize and focus on your desires, need for change and maybe even your gratitude before you have actually experienced the fulfilling of your desire or noticed a positive change.

Because I've been working with the Anna K Tarot lately, this deck was a natural choice to use for my spell.

First I've laid down yesterday’s card as the main theme. Then I flipped through the deck to find cards which resonated with me and/or were connected one way or another to this theme. This went very quickly and without a lot of thought. Finally I narrowed the little pile down to three cards to put around the theme card.
I've picked the following cards:

Ace of Pentacles for Me and M nourishing our roots, planting seeds, redefining our living together and for new exciting opportunities for both of us

The Sun as the symbol  for joy, a positive outcome, and self-confidence for all of us

The Three of Rods for S making plans and starting out on a new exciting journey 

I loved how these three cards were radiating their yellow sunlight over the darker Eight of Cups. Yellow and blue, a match made in heaven!

I've put it all on tray (thank you Kerry!) to put it wherever I want it to be. To focus on my intent I've come up with this little prayer. I tried to translate it as well as I could.

“May the sun shine its light over you and your journey and your choices yet to make and over us while we are keeping our home safe and enjoying the new opportunities this change will  bring us.”