Nine of Wands – Rise up again and agian

Today’s Card is the Nine of Wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. The same card as I pulled yesterday. The Nine of Wands is for me about wanting more, doing more, doing better. A card of burning desires and the sometimes not so pleasant aftermath.

     

We often take on more than we can manage. And only after we're burned out, we ask ourselves how could this possibly happen to me. Perhaps we don’t know our boundaries as well as we should have and so we let others and ourselves trample them without noticing until it is too late.

I’ve been in this position several times. But I have also experienced that whenever this has happened to me I always rise up again, stronger, wiser (I hope) and determined never to let something like this happen to me again.

So I wondered why this card is showing up again today and I pulled the Five of Swords. Not only is a burn-out caused by taking to on much responsibilities in the physical world. It is often accompanied by negative thought patterns such as lack of self-worth, self-love en so on. These mental attackers want to lure you into a battle, which they know you can’t win. It will only wear you out more until only chaos and exhaustion will remain. Maybe it is better to acknowledge our thoughts and see them as such: just thoughts and nothing more.  

We have to ask ourselves whether these thoughts and feelings are true and if they're not, I promise they will go away.

Then we will rise up from our ashes and become a little more akin to the person we want to be.

For me, this means I have to sit with these returning thoughts of not being good enough again and learn to recognize them once and for all as tricksters of the mind.

Eight of Cups - Leaving is not always the best option

Today’s card is the Eight of Cups from The Wild Unknown Tarot. Eight shattered cups are laying on the ground in the shadow of a high and steep mountain. 

Our cups are empty and apparently beyond repair. Al the things which once fulfilled us and made us happy are gone and it seems the only way forward is to leave the remnants behind, climb the mountain and take a chance with what’s on the other side…

So what can we expect on the other side? And I pulled the Five of Swords, which depicts a worm, cut in two pieces. This is one of the most gruesome cards of the deck. I think this card is telling me life sucks one either side of the mountain and it is up to us to bloom where we are planted. So maybe it’s better to pick up what can be salvaged and for the remaining shards, I will have to find a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess. I do hope have learned enough from my mistakes and successes to build something new and fresh right here, where I belong.

For today I will try to look at my life from a fresh point a view and if I discover a broken cup, then first I will try to glue it together but is it is broken beyond repair, I’ll throw in the bin and find a new one.

Five of Swords – Self-interest or Self-care?

Today’s card is the Five of Swords from the Shadowscapes Tarot. This  is a card of conflict.  In many Rider Waite based decks it depicts one person holding five swords while defeated adversaries are walking away. Here however we see an angel like figure holding  one sword in his hand and carrying two crossed swords on his back much like in the Two of Swords.  It is not easy to decide who this angel is. Is he the aggressor  who acts only out of self- interest, or is he the defeated one, a cast out angel from the heavens?

Often our role in a conflict is difficult to assess; it goes back and forth like the swinging of a pendulum. But one thing is certain; before entering a conflict we have to be sure if it is worth it to engage in the conflict at all.

Engaging in a conflict with our own interest in mind can sometimes be in fact an act of self-care.  As long as we don’t trample and hurt our opponents just for the sake of wanting to be right. Yes this card is often just about heated discussions and wanting to be right or at least to be entitled to our own opinion.  Personally I am inclined to be “cast out of heaven” so for me this card is all about letting myself be heard and to be taken seriously whenever a conflict arises. 

Five of Swords - Chose you battles wisely

Today’s card is again a Swords card and to be honest I am a bit tired of it. Even my Major Arcana card  from yesterday, Justice, had a sword in it. Where are all the Cups, Pentacles and Wands in this deck???

Okay the Five of Swords for now is what we have work with.  The man in the front has won the battle; the guy in the back is the defeated one. When I draw this card  I always wonder: who am I today? Keep in mind this is a Swords card so this is about thoughts and ideas, about truth and conviction. A  battle with this in mind would be more like a debate and or hefty discussions; trying to hold on to your own ideas without showing any consideration with somebody else’s feelings. The winner doesn’t look that happy with his victory he is looking over his shoulder to the other guy. Maybe a bit remorseful?

Fighting to be right can be endless. Most of the time it is not so much about wanting to convince somebody of your point a view but more about wanting to be right. How much energy could be saved, how much more peaceful could sharing thoughts be, if we could  just appreciate each other’s  opinion.

“Be selective in your battles. Sometimes peace is better than being right”

Waning moon in August: Five of Swords – fear for conflicts.

For today I've drawn the Five of Swords from the Goddess tarot. Since we are now in the waning phase of the moon cycle, I've asked what I needed to release during this period. So let’s look at what I've got; The woman in the card is holding three of the five swords; one ready to use in action. The other two have been laid down crossed on a large rock as a symbol of truce. However she is still suspicious and is looking in the distance for possible approaching enemies 

This is a card of distrust and feeling uncomfortable and insecure. Often we anticipate quarrels and arguments and in doing so are fulfilling our own expectations. We send out hostile vibes of suspicion and when our expectations are fulfilled, we victoriously shout: I told you so!

This card is also about setting boundaries and protecting yourself by being vigilant and alert.

Somehow I get the feeling it is telling me to let go of my suspicion and fear of possible arguments and conflicts.  This might just be what is needed for a more peaceful environment. If I dare to let my guard down and expect good intentions from others; if I dare to be more trustful, this will be beneficial for our well being. We surely will feel more peaceful and loving towards one and other. I know I have to set boundaries but they are not supposed to shut everybody out. I have to find a balance between self-protection and reaching out.

So my affirmation for the coming time will be: Today I will protect my boundaries but I will keep the gate open and let people in.

Five of Swords – The bitter taste of victory

Today I've drawn another five card: The Five of Swords. Five is representing strife and conflict, instability and loss.

This cards is all about conflict and the drive to win at any cost. Putting your own interest first, because if we lose we have to suffer the consequences: a feeling of failure and the realization of being outwitted. But we have to ask ourselves if the victor is truly happy with his victory. How can you feel victorious if you win at the expense of others? When you look at the angel his wings and hair are white and his clothing is black. As are his two companions, the black swans. This could symbolize this intrinsic conflict in the card's meaning. Do we identify with the victor or the defeated?

This card teaches us there are always alternatives to be considered before you act and slash your sword. 

For me this card is mostly about mind games, quarrels and arguments, because it is a Swords card. Swords can be sharp and ruthless and inflicts severe wounds.  Perhaps it could be wise to broaden our horizon; to look at multiple options and opinions before we claim to be right. Ignoring this and go for victory is the easy way out, because when we try walk the middle way there will be less victory but also less defeat: there will be compromise.