Nine of Wands – Rise up again and agian

Today’s Card is the Nine of Wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. The same card as I pulled yesterday. The Nine of Wands is for me about wanting more, doing more, doing better. A card of burning desires and the sometimes not so pleasant aftermath.

     

We often take on more than we can manage. And only after we're burned out, we ask ourselves how could this possibly happen to me. Perhaps we don’t know our boundaries as well as we should have and so we let others and ourselves trample them without noticing until it is too late.

I’ve been in this position several times. But I have also experienced that whenever this has happened to me I always rise up again, stronger, wiser (I hope) and determined never to let something like this happen to me again.

So I wondered why this card is showing up again today and I pulled the Five of Swords. Not only is a burn-out caused by taking to on much responsibilities in the physical world. It is often accompanied by negative thought patterns such as lack of self-worth, self-love en so on. These mental attackers want to lure you into a battle, which they know you can’t win. It will only wear you out more until only chaos and exhaustion will remain. Maybe it is better to acknowledge our thoughts and see them as such: just thoughts and nothing more.  

We have to ask ourselves whether these thoughts and feelings are true and if they're not, I promise they will go away.

Then we will rise up from our ashes and become a little more akin to the person we want to be.

For me, this means I have to sit with these returning thoughts of not being good enough again and learn to recognize them once and for all as tricksters of the mind.

Eight of Air - listen to the rhythm of your soul

It's been a while since I have written something for my blog. For some reason, I can't seem to get back to regular posting. I don't know why... Perhaps lack of inspiration or drive??? Or maybe both. Anyway, I am here now and it feels good to be here.

Two days ago I celebrated my sixtieth birthday with my family and for the first time in years, I didn't get a tarot or oracle deck for my birthday.  There was not one deck I really wanted. Of course, there are lots of pretty decks around but none of them really spoke to me on a deeper level.
Yesterday I have decided to work with one deck only for a longer period of time, in order to build a more personal relationship with the decks I already have. For this month my deck of choice is the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert. I am in awe of the splendor of nature this time of year and I feel this deck will be in perfect sync with it. I need the more grounding energy of this deck to stay in the moment and enjoy what life has to offer each and every day.
My card for today is the Eight of Earth. It's not that long ago since I pulled this card for myself.  Yet today it speaks not so much about parenting my daughters but more about being guided myself. It feels like I am being invited to follow the rhythm of the drums, to align myself to the heartbeat of the earth, of my soul, and to establish a healthy rhythm of action and rest, breathing in and breathing out.  Creating a rhythm is not only about when to drum but perhaps even more about knowing when not to drum...

New moon in April

Instead of drawing some cards for this new moon, I have decided to choose them intentionally so they would represent what I want to accomplish during this coming lunation.
I choose the Four of Swords and the Princess of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot.

The fours of Swords represents my intention to quiet down my always busy mind. At first, I thought it could be a good idea to start meditating daily again but knowing myself, I realized this would be very hard to accomplish. I think it would be better for me if I could choose from various options: meditating, riding my bike. sitting with Jofee on my lap, taking a walk, playing with watercolors... etc. anything which would calm my racing thoughts goes.
The Princess of Cups represents my state of being when I will succeed in this; even if it is only for a second or two. She is connected to her heart, the place where feelings whisper and true wisdom comes from. She is totally willing to hear and listen to the messages of her heart. The flow of these messages is a constant in her life because she has no problem to tune into them. I don't expect to be like the Princess of Cups in four weeks but I am willing to commit to this practice and to see where it will lead me.

Two of Wands - Trust, have a little bit of faith and relax.

Today's card is the Two of Wands from the Joie the Vivre Tarot.  A sunny and joyful card on a rainy April day. The question I asked myself to draw a card with was: How can I nurture myself today?
This card is about reflection on where you've come from, listening to your intuition so you will know where to go from here and imagining and preparing for your future. Outwardly, it might seem like we're are doing nothing worthwhile but on the inside, a lot is going on.  The challenge of this card is to find a balance between being active and letting our ideas and intentions having a life of their own: about not striving and clinging to the desired outcome too much.
Since I like to be in control almost all of the time, I like to know exactly where my life is heading, what obstacles I might expect on the way and how long it will take me to go from A to Z without any detours. Yes, I know life doesn't work this way but like many of us, I often live by the illusion that is does.
Today this card is telling me to ease up, to let go of my expectations and to trust that God or the Universe will respond to what I have put out there in a loving generous and wonderful way ( so much better than to expect gloom and doom because I don't like to be disappointed  :))
Taking care of myself today might be about learning to have a bit more trust and faith in this Loving Energy.

Six of Pentacles - Receiving isn't easy

Today's card is the Six of Pentacles from the Druidcraft Tarot. This is a card of giving and or receiving benefits. It also speaks about a fair balance between the two. Finding that balance can be a hard thing to do. Especially when you're on the giving side of the equation. Givers don't like to admit they need help or other resources just like anyone else. They almost need to be coaxed into receiving the gifts we want to give them. A lot of these givers have probably been spoonfed with the words that "it's better to give than to receive. ”
I know, because I am one of them. It's hard for me to express my needs to others and ask for help but I am getting better at it. In order to do that I have to open up and be prepared to be vulnerable. I think it's about time I start practicing this more seriously....
So for today I will try be mindful to graciously accept a helping hand, a compliment, some loving attention and even more, to ask for this if needed.

Eight of Earth - Follow Through

Today’s cards are Eight of Earth from the Gaian Tarot and “Follow through” from the Sacred Creators Oracle.

I love how the father and his daughter are holding each other’s gaze while drumming the same rhythm. It’s hard to say who is leading and who is following. They probably take turns depending on what feels right in the moment. I sincerely believe that is what parenting is all about. Especially now, while I am entering the autumn of my life, I am still called upon as a parent to set the tempo and the rhythm for a while but also I have to be very mindful of the moment when I have to let my daughters take over again. It is hard but also very rewarding to follow their rhythm, because they both have become such talented drummers.  I know I will never stop drumming with them and I will always pay close attention if one of them is changing their beat...

Ace of Swords - When lightening strikes...

Today's card is the Ace of Swords from the Wild Unknown Tarot. This card is all about sudden clarity and spontaneous insights. A card of truth and inspiration. The two lightning bolts emphasize both the swiftness as the brightness of this energy. You have to be mindful of these flashes of insight; ready to catch them if they present themselves to you. This means we have to create open space in our mind for the lightning to strike.
Yet too often we keep our mind occupied by repeating the same old, same old over and over again. So how do we go about getting this open space?
Creating free headspace doesn't mean we have to sit on our cushion the whole day long. It is more about being busy with our hands and/or moving our body. Everything which occupies our mind just enough to keep it from obsessing and moving in circles.
My brightest ideas come to me when I am going for a walk or when I am taking a shower.
Where or when does your lightning tend to strike?

Ace of Cups – Receiving Love

Today’s card is the Ace of Cups from The Wild Unknown Tarot. This is a card of unconditionally Love. The type of love you feel for a little child or a newborn animal. The Love which flows through you when you are in awe of nature or for some of us the Love we experience when we feel close to the Divine

Seeing this card it encourages me to open up to this love; to step into the flow of receiving and giving and receiving again. Living in this flow of Love should be effortlessly but we tend to over think the Source of it, which immediately disconnects of its riches and abundance.

“Who I am to be worthy of this kind of this kind of love?"is a thought pattern which sums up all kinds of disturbing thoughts on this matter. So I asked what energy could be helpful for me if I was to start questioning my worthiness to be loved (again) and I pulled…

The Ten of Pentacles. It feels like I am looking into a colorful well. At the bottom of this well, we find numerous treasures. These are the treasures we have accumulated over time but due to worrying about guilt and regret we seem to have forgotten all about them. Maybe it’s time to dive into this well and remember what Love has given us already. Count your blessings may sound corny, but it does make us more receptive to experience  Love in all its forms.

Queen of Wands - To blog or not to blog

The question whether to keep blogging has been on my mind quite a lot. On one hand, I really miss writing about tarot and the connection with my online friends but on the other hand, I keep asking myself why would I want to continue. I have been posting tarot pictures on IG very regularly and that felt as it was enough for me. One thing I am sure of is that this tiny spot on the World Wide Web is still so very dear to me and I don't want it to fade away with so many other inactive blogs.
But truthfully, sometimes I feel as if I have said it all. What possible more could I write about a card....
And then I pulled the Queen of Wands from the Thoth Tarot, which has become an absolute favorite deck of mine. What stands out today are the black spots on her leopard which symbolize the remnants of her past. The story goes she was once a dark haired Queen with a black panther who has transformed into the Queen she is today. But she still carries the scars of all the hurt and suffering she has been through.
The challenge of this Queen is to share her story with others and by doing so to reaffirm time and again what she has learned. so it will be ingrained in her most inner being.
Repetition isn't a bad thing. Originality is overrated. It is the mere act of writing and sharing what counts.
So I sincerely hope this post will inspire me to write the next one....

New moon in Januari

For this new moon, I have pulled one card from the Thoth Tarot as to what energy I should embrace during this next cycle of the Moon and I got The Hanged Man. Some of its keywords are: rigidity, ending of a stagnated situation, new ways of looking at things, letting go of old behavioral patterns.  This hanged man has nowhere to go. There is now way to escape his situation. His eyes are closed, blind for everything which doesn’t align with his point a view. He is totally disconnected from his intuition and heart centered wisdom.

Yet, since there is no way out the only forward is to go within.  Only then will the snake wake up and rise from the dark grave. Then the Hanged Man can find freedom from past convictions and behavior. It is there  and then that he can undergo a profound transformation. He can free himself from the need of being always right and in control. If he can let go of these rigid ways of thinking he will set himself free and become a different person altogether.

It’s is a lot for one lunation but I am not surprised this card has comes up for me (again). If I will be able to only touch the surface of this card during the next four weeks I will be thankful and content. Habitual patterns created over many years are usually not discarded in a few weeks.

Affirmation: “I will let go of my need to be in control all the time and realize that life will present itself moment by moment”

Nine of Wands and Strength – Breathe and stand down for while

My question for today was which part of me is in need of some nurturing and loving attention and I pulled the Nine of Wands from the Shadowscapes Tarot. 

Yes, lately I am too often fully armored and expecting the worst. That is my default mode when stress is piling up and I feel like I have to be ready for whatever calamity might happen next. But of course, that is all in my head because nobody knows what the next moment will bring and I am not responsible what others might do. My sole responsibility lies in my answer to their actions.

Then I was wondering how I could pamper my inner warrior, my always present sentinel and I pulled Strength. In this card, the rider has dismounted his lion and caresses his manes.  Behind him, a cat is playing with a bell tied to a ribbon. Birds are flying over him and the bamboo in the background is reminding him of how swaying in the wind without breaking, is a strength too. Look how the yellow from the first card lowers itself easily into the next. While the first card is uptight and is asking for constant alertness, the second card lets us breathe and enjoy the moment. Today this card radiates balance and inner peace for me

Even the guy in the Nine of Wands needs to stand down for moment if he want to do his job properly otherwise when the real attack come he is lying in his bed with a burnout  

Uruz and Six of Pentacles - Both sides of the coin are equally valid

Today’s rune is Uruz (ox) the rune of strength and vitality and I wondered what kind of energy would make me feel more alive and would invigorate me so I would be able to jump into the new year with some fresh enthusiasm and inspiration. Then I drew the Six of Pentacles…

Not what I was expecting but it does make sense. Often we feel the most alive when we matter to other people; when we give our time and energy to those who need it more than we do.  Mind you the Six of Pentacles is a card of reciprocity. It doesn’t only encourage us to give, give, give, even though this is often the easiest part of this card. When we, in turn, are lacking resources it is up to us to ask for help to others. Don’t expect they will notice our need because this often leads to disappointment and further withdrawal. Ideas of not being seen or worthy of love will start to arise. No, let’s be brave and ask for help. This will strengthen your love for yourself and your trust in other people. So either way, this card will strengthen you.  

Nine of Pentacles - A little update on where I've been…

Today card is the Nine of Pentacles from the Original Rider Waite tarot. This card shows perfectly well what I’ve been up to these last few weeks: Nothing spectacular except taking it easy and enjoying the peace and quiet of my own home. Life has presented me with some rather difficult “stuff” which took and still is going to take a lot of my energy, so blogging had to be moved to the back burner for a while. I don’t know how it is with you but when life is challenging my cards seem to grow quieter with the day, so there wasn’t much to blog about anyway. The lady in this card is enjoying herself in her garden and she is noticing the precious daily gifts of her life. Like the snail she moves gently and slowly through her day. She encourages me to follow my heart’s impulses and to do what brings me joy and happiness. Also she is a welcome reminder that there is so much to be grateful for even when life isn’t all together perfect.

Journey – Stop running and enjoy the scenery

Today’s card is "Journey" from the Magical Empowerment cards by Jody Bergsma. I needed a kind, gentle and uplifting message today, so I was very pleased this deck was still in my collection. It has been on my “decks to let go” list but somehow I find it very difficult to part with decks which have supported me throughout various phases of my life. So I keep them in a box for when I want to revisit with them again. And in that box, I found this deck …

The message of the card is to focus on how far we have come instead of how far we still have to go. Everything we have experienced up until this moment has brought us to where we are right now. Looking back on my life I consider this one h*ll of an accomplishment. But frankly, I never pay much attention to this feat.  I’d rather make to-do lists, research ways to improve myself, try to fix other people’s problems, run my daily life and move forward. But life has its own way of saying "enough!": Sometimes by sending you the flu or in my case dumping too much on my plate. 

So for today, I will keep myself from running towards the finish line and take some time to be proud of myself and to be in this moment, on this day and frankly, without expecting anything, it has become a good day, a very good day....

Ten of Cups – Sweet dreams

Today’s card is the Ten of Cups from The Legacy of the Divine Tarot. Life is good. We have everything we have wished for in the Nine of Cups and most of all we have someone to share our good fortune with. 

Yes, we are home at last. We are safe, we are loved and we are emotionally fulfilled. Life is perfect just the way it is. It seems almost too good to be true.  

When we feel like this, often we try to hold on too tightly; afraid this feeling of contentment might slip away again. And I am sorry to say, it will slip away and it will make way for sadness, anxiety or frustration because everything always changes.

If there is one thing I have learned from our dog is to enjoy the good times and to try not to worry about what might come next.

Then I was wondering what the dog and the cat were dreaming about and I pulled the Star… Yes, they have lived a live filled with conflicts and quarrels and maybe even with hate and jealousy but they have left it all behind them, knowing there is always a change to start over and embrace love.

Ten of Wands – It’s okay to say No

Today’s card is the Ten of Wands from the Druidcraft Tarot.  It is a card of feeling obligated and overburdened.  An old man is carrying his ten wands uphill. His destination is not yet in sight, so we don’t know how far he has yet to travel before he can lay down his heavy wands.

When we often feel like this it can be a sign that we need to change our behavior and/or our attitude towards the need to do it all by ourselves. This is easy to write down but so much harder to establish in real life.

Lately, since I’ve started my journey towards more spiritual freedom,  I find my wands to be so much lighter and easier to carry. Also, my wands don't  hurt my back as much as they used to. And when I do feel tired, I don’t mind tossing them on the ground and take a nap on the side of the road. Life isn’t all about work and fulfilling (often self-imposed ) obligations and expectations. If only we were taught that play and having fun are just as important as doing our job and,…. most importantly, that it is okay to say NO once in while.

New Moon in September

For this new moon, I have pulled one card from the Original Rider Waite Tarot as to what energy I should embrace during this next cycle of the Moon and I got the Six of Wands. This was quite surprising, because it is the exact same card as I pulled for the previous New Moon.

Honestly ,my good intentions to establish a free-flowing routine have  completely fallen by the wayside.  I became more and more reluctant towards building a daily routine. I just wanted to be free, to chose what I wanted to do and also when and where I wanted to do it. My whole life has been about maintaining a routine: School, work, raising children, and then work again. I realized that my freedom was more important to me than ticking of boxes from my to-do lists. The upside of this “failure” is that I now feel more in touch with myself than ever before. I have to check in regularly with myself  to discover what it is that I want and need at this very moment; what it is that will make me happy and content.

So over to the Six of wands for this lunation. I got the distinct feeling that even though I “failed” to accomplish my goal, I gained something very valuable too. But the six of wands is not a stagnant card. It urges me to move forward after recognizing and celebrating my victories. It is so easy to keep dwelling in a pleasant state of mind but life is also about  moving onward toward the next challenge (Seven of wands)

So for the coming lunation I will definitely be celebrating my new found sense of freedom but also focusing myself on how to become more and more the woman  I am supposed to be.   

Son of Pentacles – Try to love what you have to do

Today’s card is the Son of Pentacles from The Wild Unknown Tarot.

He is the most responsible Son of the deck: Doing his duty and sticking to the job until it’s finished.  Yes this is the Son you can depend on under all circumstances. He will never let you down. But what about him? Is he enjoying himself? Is he feeling proud of his accomplishments? Does his eyes lit up when he hears the compliments others might give him?

When you look at this card I suppose not. He is feeling rather down and depleted by his constant effort to do a good job. His heart isn’t in it anymore, so he is running on empty. Perhaps if he would allow himself to lie down and rest for a while, his muddled mind would clear up and he might realize that if you don’t do what you love then try to love what you do. In every job there will be things you dislike but being able to find what you do like, can make all the difference

Today I have to do some household chores: cleaning the toilet, mopping the floor, doing groceries… I think you’ll know what I aiming at …J

The Hierophant - I want to be free!

Today’s card is the Hierophant from the Ravens Prophecy Tarot. This card is the worldly, physical manifestation of spirituality, which is for me almost an oxymoron. 

In this version of the Hierophant, we see a candle burning in a lantern. It’s true that the lantern protects the light of the candle, even magnifies it with its glass but even though all these advantages, the light of this candle is contained and has lost its freedom to dance in the wind.

Lately, I find it difficult to relate to any organized form of religion or philosophy or even parts of it. I feel that my main reason to do so in the first place was my fear of being wrong and I perhaps felt there was safety in numbers. With the beginning of this new season, the only thing which feels spiritual to me is Nature itself in all Her abundance and Autumnal decay, the magic I see and feel in all of this, and of course my cards.

I do believe in the Divine, in Spirit, but for now, I experience it more as a loving Energy than as a specific deity.

All this feels fresh, free and playful. Without any tasks or structured practices, I am more “spiritual” than I used to be. There is no more pressure, just listening to myself and finding out what makes me happy and what connects me to Spirit

NB I do recognize the wisdom of all the wonderful teachings we have. I just don’t want to be limited by them anymore or exclude others who think differently.

Seven of Staves - Stop fighting and enjoy the sunshine

Today’s card is the Seven of Staves (Wands) from the Goddess Tarot. Look how this poor woman is struggling to fend off her opponents. For me this card sometimes represents my inner battles with all kinds of situations I think I am responsible for so I need to find a solution for them. But nothing is farther from the truth than this slightly presumptuous notion. Often difficult situations (mostly with family) mostly need time to be resolved and my tendency to “help” is rooted in a deep need for controlling and assuming my solution is the best option for everyone.

And today, looking at this card, I realize (again) it isn’t my responsibility to solve everything for everybody at all. Maybe I should turn around and enjoy the sunshine on this beautiful September day. A perfect day to ride my bike and look for Autumn colors in the trees. And while I will enjoy myself maybe some of those issues will resolve themselves a little bit on their own.

"Let go and let God/des"