The Moon – Dealing with shadows

Today’s card is The Moon from the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot. It appears that the raven is holding the moon in his beak but we all know this is only an illusion. At night in the silvery moonlight, everything seems to look different. Shadows could easily be monsters lurking behind a tree. The sound of falling acorns will startle us more at night than during the day when the sun illuminates our life with certainty and purpose. But at night is it easy to get lost in the dark; to take the wrong turn at the crossroads and to become scared and uncertain but it can also bring you unexpected sometimes magical discoveries…

October is traditionally the month of shadow-work challenges on IG and this year I am participating for the third time with #shadowworkoctober by @mnomquah.  Although it isn’t easy, I am proud to say I have been keeping up so far. Issues which I hadn’t expected are coming to the surface. And others which I was ready to deal with once and for all, seem to stay hidden this year. This is one of the reasons I like to use Tarot for the exploration of my shadow because you can’t decide up front what is going to happen during the process. For me, shadow work with Tarot is a leap of faith into the dark abyss of my soul. Yes, Tarot is making shadow work so much more exciting and sometimes even scary but always surprising and rewarding.  

Expressing Gratitude with the Wild Unknown Tarot

Today’s question: “what am I most grateful for?”  got me thinking about how,  when we express our gratitude, we often talk/write about the same daily experiences like: A sunny day, a cup of coffee, cuddling with our furry friends  or looking at the flowers in our garden. Reading in my gratitude journal, I notice how I tend to repeat the same things and over again. And yes, I am truly grateful for them but this question filled me with the desire to stretch my perceptive a little and maybe look a bit more inwardly. So I asked the tarot to show me three aspects in my life for which I am grateful: three joy’s which are sometimes a bit out of reach of my day to day experience. From the Wild Unknown Tarot I  pulled:

The Moon: I am grateful or each time I am brave enough to face my fears and do it anyway. The last few days  I have been making abstract art journal pages  and each time it became too “pretty” I used gesso to “mess it up “ again

Four of Swords:  I am grateful for each moment of peace and quiet in a day. They give me a sense of security and also trust that I can return to this place whenever I need it.

Four of Wands: I am grateful for the pauses in life which are meant to celebrate what I have achieved. Resting in the blue center  of gratitude before  being ignited by the fiery passion of the wands again

New Moon in May

For this New Moon I've drawn two cards as usual. The first one for the energy I am going to release and the second one for the energy which is beneficial for me to embrace. From the Wild Unknown Tarot I drew:

Release - Wheel of Fortune

This card is all about flowing with the ups and downs in life, while trying to maintain the center position of the wheel. Accepting of and adapting to every situation life throws at you and making the most of it. Being a very controlling person I imagine this card would be quite a challenge as an embrace card, so to see this card in the release position for me today, it tells me I need to let go of the urge to untie the knots of all these colored ropes and ribbons and sort them by color, length and material. The more I fiddle with them, the tighter the knots are going to get. I want to try to let go and to give life a chance to unfold on its own accord. Life doesn’t need me to hold the strings like a puppeteer. 

I could learn a lot from the owl in the left upper corner. She is sitting there so relaxed, observing how the wheel turns and not giving it too much thought. I think she is more curious to find out if I have it in me to show the same detachment as she does..

Embrace – The Moon

Lately I have noticed that I am quite adept in running from  difficult and confusing feelings and situations. I can bury myself in numerous distractions so I don’t have the time to deal with what matters most. Me!

The first stirring of discomfort became noticeable when I was working with the Five of Cups, which I dropped very soon after.  But just like everything in Spring, when something has budded, there is no stopping it anymore. I tried to cover things up for my birthday and now that has passed, the Moon card is calling out loudly and persistently. It’s time to get real with how and what I feel.  Just acknowledging my feelings can be a good start. Also I need to try to find out what is I love and dream of or fear and hide from. 

Like The wheel of Fortune, this card is also about cycles; times when I feel good and times when I feel less happy. I want to learn to accept this and not to berate myself when I am feeling down. I know these times will pass. Maybe if I learn to accept them when they arrive, perhaps they will pass sooner and I won’t lose so much energy fighting them.

Love can’t be measured on a scale.

Today’s question for Shadow Work October by Mnomquah on IG was:

Intimacy: How can you strengthen your bond with your loved ones.

For this question I’ve used the Rider Waite Tarot. After having worked with The “darker” decks for a while, for now it feels more comforting to pull from my trusted Rider Waite deck in order to answer these deep and sometimes disturbing questions. So while shuffling my deck to answer the question for today, The Moon jumped out and I pulled the Six of Pentacles myself.

The moon is all about fear and uncertainty, about not being in control and about a lack of trust and boundaries. Mmm… this is a very blunt way of telling me that my social and emotional skills definitely are in need some healing and polishing up. It is true I’ve been let down so many times in my life that I do have trust issues and also a fear of commitment and abandonment. So fear seems to be a  strong  component of my relationships, which is not a good thing at all.

The Six of Pentacles is maybe a good start to examine how my relationships could be improved. This is a card about interdependence. We see a rich man give to  the poor with one hand and he is holding scales in his other hand. He distributes his money equally to the beggars. The question here is always: who are you, the beggar or the rich man?

For me the message for this card today is to get rid of the scales and give from the heart. In loving relationships the amount of giving and receiving don’t have to be equal and measured. It is not about the worth or weight of the gifts but it is about the intention of giving and being open and willing to receive. Sometimes receiving is even harder then giving, because sometimes you have nothing to give back in return, but a heartfelt  “thank you” and the relationship feels unbalanced. This doesn’t have to be true at all for the main component of each relationship is Love and Love can never be measured on a scale. 

The Moon – Don’t swim into deep water yet

Today’s card is The Moon from the Tarot of the Sidhe by Emily Carding. This card feels a bit melancholic to me but after yesterday’s Maker Five –Winter’s Bite, it is definitely an improvement. Yesterday was a very challenging day for me which has made it quite clear to me that even though I have learned a lot already, I still have a long way to go. There is some serious water gazing waiting for me. What stands out for me the most in this card is the promise of support from Spirit. We see a woman sitting beside a moonlit pool and she sees a whole different world in its reflection. Beneath the surface she is not alone and maybe she is coming to this pool to be reminded of this because during the business of Summer’s sunlit days there is often no time for reflection.

This card advises me to sit with my feelings and not to run away from them. It is not necessary to explore them on a deeper level. Not yet. Acknowledging them is okay for now. Just sitting there and watching my reflection is progress enough.

The Moon – Follow the yellow brick road

Today’s card is The Moon from the Morgan Greer Tarot.  Coincidentally the next card in the Major Arcana after the Star. This tells me that after the cleansing and rejuvenating pause from The Star, there are still some challenges ahead of us. When I pulled The Moon card this morning;“follow the yellow brick road” was the first thing that came to mind. As of tomorrow I am going on a “journey” myself, not knowing what my destination will be. To be honest, the commitment to a challenge of  40 days scares me a lot and at the same time I am so excited about it (the dog and the wolf in me).  I am also curious about the wisdom, hidden in my subconscious, the purple lobster will bring me. It must be something quite important because purple isn't  used frequently in this deck.

Anyhow guided by the light of the full moon (and my Star) I am going to follow this path day by day, trying not to look ahead too much but staying in the present moment and enjoying the journey.

(It is funny because there will be a New Moon tomorrow. I am very happy with it, because its energy might reinforce the change which I hope to achieve.

A Spiritual Journey Reading with The Chrysalis Tarot (II)

Today I wanted to share the Tarot reading which I did last night. It was very special to lay out the cards in a self created spread. Interpreting the reading took a bit longer than usual because thoughts and feelings were changing over time. Finally this is what I came up with:

1 Right now I am here; this is my current situation: The Pilgrim – Page of Scrolls

I am a seeker of  truth. Always reading and learning, but kind of lost along the way. I carry a lot of baggage, not sure what to bring along and what to discard. Always searching for a more beautiful butterfly

2 Where do I come from? Herne the Hunter – The Chariot

Willpower and strength has brought me here. Determination to succeed has made me hopeful.

3 Where do I want to go? Nine of Scrolls

I want to conquer my fears; to unnerve them with my mind. I want to let go of my worries and anxieties! 

4 Where does God(dess) want me to go? Moon – The Moon

To  my inner core where fears are born, To connect with my intuition and to dare to embrace  my shadowy parts in the light of the Moon. This way I will gradually become whole. This is such a different process than deciding not to be afraid anymore. (3) And it is God(dess) (The Moon) who will embrace me when I am stranded on an island and don’t know which way to go.

5 What is blocking me, holding me back? The Watcher – Queen of Mirrors

This card was a bit confusing. How could my most favorite card block me. Maybe it could be a warning not to become to dependent and/or fixated on the archetype of The Watcher; Trying too much to be like her and when I cannot succeed this could result in feelings of in disappointment, failure and insecurity

6 What is helping me on the way? Six of Stones

Of course: Practicing Loving Kindness! Giving love to others and to myself. Not just feeling love and meditate about it but showing it in so many various ways. And besides that, also trying to accept the gift of love from others too. Taking care for and loving one and other is the most nourishing and strengthening practice one can think of.  The Tree of Life show us everything is connected

7 An encouraging nudge from God(dess) Five of Spirals

By a fierce Dragon I am chased from my hiding place; out of the darkness into the light of the Crescent  Moon. Stop my inner struggling and do something! This feels a bit more pressing than a nudge though! J

The Moon on Water – You can’t be sure of anything

For today I've drawn The Moon on Water from The Wildwood Tarot. The moon is full. We see the shadows of a heron, an auroch and a flight of crows. The moon sheds her light over the marsh. It creates the illusion of a pathway. Everything seems so clear and bright in the silver light of the full moon, yet everything looks different than during the day. We fear what is hiding in the shadows and we don’t know what is hidden in this primal egg beneath the surface of the water. Just as we are apprehensive for our own unconscious; an unknown territory only accessible by our intuition, with its ambiguous messages. All these uncertainties can cause anxiety and stress. We are curious about this egg but at the same time we are fearful for what will happen if we ignite its hatching with our creative force. So often we are paralyzed, not knowing what to do. How do we ever know we make the right choice. The answer is as difficult as it is simple. We only have to make the best choice for now, see what happens and go from there; one step at the time. The most important thing is to keep going.

“To fight fear, act. To increase fear - wait, put off postpone.” David Joseph Schwartz

The moon – Facing fears

Today’s card jumped right out of my deck. Perhaps it was my lack of shuffling skills or something else but for now The Moon from the Original Rider Waite is my card of the day.

After having done some structuring together with The Emperor  I have to say  this card doesn't affect me that much today. Yet there is always some anxiety lurking in the shadows which can jump us unexpectedly. The fact that I am thinking about it proves to me it is still there.

When I worry there is always a constant movement between illusion, fantasy and reality. I feel the anxiety and tell myself this is not real; it is all in my mind. This will only work for a while and then I find myself worrying again etc. I feel like I am both the fearful one and the comforter. The dog and the wolf as well as the moon. The dog and the wolf howl to the moon and they reveal their innermost fears. Today I see the moon in this depiction as the light bringer in the darkness; the mental clarity in an anxious situation. Although not as bright as the sun it will have to do until daybreak .

“I am often attributed with illusion, but I teach that all is illusion. I am the key to breaking through illusion, for only by exploring my energy and connecting with your inner guide will you see beyond. I challenge you to trust what you do not understand, for in trusting the universe, you will begin to know. When you know, there will be no more fear, no more confusion, no more illusion.” (Leila Vey)

My First Impressions of The Joie de Vivre Tarot

Yesterday I've received The Joie de Vivre Tarot By Paulina Cassidy in the mail. I've ordered it two weeks ago at Book Depository. And to be honest is was a kind of an emotional purchase. Although I am celebrating my birthday in about three weeks and I am promised some tarot presents, I really needed  to treat myself on a light, friendly and uplifting deck.

A deck which will comfort you. A deck which will tell you the truth but in a gentle and kind way. A deck which will emphasize the positive side of a situation. Even the most dreadful cards are friendly and they speak more to your compassion than to your fears.

For instance the figure in the two of words is being  held by birds and the girl who is falling from the tower is held by butterflies

It had to be also a deck which would distract my mind form worrying. So there had to be enough symbolism in de pictures to keep my mind busy. Look how many symbols there are for instance in The Wheel: the zodiac, the moon cycles, the four trees on his head, the lemniscate on his jacket. In every card there are little treasures to be found.

And that’s when I knew it had to be the Joie de Vivre Tarot:

“French for 'joy of living', the Joie de Vivre is designed to access the childlike energy in each one of us to help stimulate, enhance, and inspire joy in our own lives. A truly fantastical people, the living beings in the Joie de Vivre realm are all sentient souls of love who want nothing but the best for those who take a journey through their world. An amplifier of intuition and a connection to the divine source, they hope the Joie de Vivre deck will help awaken a response from deep within your heart, mind, and spirit.”

It is the second tarot deck by Paulina Cassidy. I don’t own her first deck: the Paulina Tarot, because the artwork was too detailed for me. In the Joie de Vivre tarot the pictures are less crowded but still they contain a lot of little adorable details and symbols. The pictures were done in watercolors and ink. The colors are soft and transparent. The backgrounds are often just made  with a color wash and some swirls which is a good contrast to the detailed figures. The cardstock is average and the finish is glossy and smooth. The colors are much more vibrant than I had expected and they are absolutely beautiful.

One more thing about the LWB. Paulina has written a tiny little story about each character in her pictures and she has even named them. This makes this little booklet a very surprising addition to the deck

AL together it will be rather obvious I totally adore this deck.  And I haven’t even started reading with it. I do have already begun to knit a bag because the little tuckbox didn't survive the long journey overseas. 

Yule contemplation with the Wildwood tarot

The Hooded Man

About two months ago I’d decided to observe the turning of the wheel according to The Wildwood Tarot. I have the feeling this deck can teach me a lot about the hidden influences of, and help me find deeper, more spiritual and psychological meaning in the seasons and the holidays. I've tried before to be more structured in observing these yearly changes but as with so many things I am passionate about in the beginning, I have the obnoxious habit to let things slide and worse forget all about them.

This is one of the main reasons I've bought this tarot deck. To have a structure, a backbone to rely on when I am a little bit lost in the Woods J

So the first holiday  to study with this deck is Yule or Midwinter. The time of the shortest day and longest night, my favorite holiday (in combination with Christmas). I feel  a bit like The Wanderer starting my journey into the unknown….

The first archetypal energies, associated with midwinter, I encounter are:

The Great Bear

The Hooded Man (Hermit): A healing silence, withdrawal, inner light and wisdom. He is just about to enter through the door into the illuminated inside of the oak tree. There he will find the most  profound knowledge. This is a time for stillness, for listening, for regaining strength for the coming year. The light of his lantern will cast away the darkness, the fear.

 The great Bear(Judgement):  you reap what you've sown, rebirth , new beginning. This card represents a time for further waiting, transforming and contemplating but more focused on the coming spring

The Moon on Water (The Moon): reflection, intuition, the unconscious,  initiation, potential, creative energy, darkness. This is the major theme for the dark half of the year. The energy is inwards and full of possibilities waiting to be injected with intent and action.

The Moon on Water

Only by looking at these three cards I can understand why I have such a deep love for this time of year. The blues and grays are just stunning. I love the silent peaceful energy and the relief of letting go of old and outworn habits and idea’s. I love to reflect and write down my findings and feelings. For the first time in my life I have evaluated this year which has almost come to an end and I am going to write down my intentions and goals for the coming year too. In doing so I think I can connect better to The Great Bear card. And I must say it is so much fun to make these lists. I have subdivided them in all sort of categories: personal, financial, spiritual, creative etc. In whatever way you like, you can write everything down which comes to mind.

I know there are lots of workbooks on the market which are excellent, but I've just opened a Word document and started typing; Easy does it J! Perhaps I will add pictures of tarot and oracle cards which represent the intentions and goals I can think of. When I have finished them I will print them all out and put them in my journal.

My midwinter ritual will be small and simple. I will light one white candle, visualize my circle and meditate with these three cards. Nothing less nothing more.

I wish everybody  a very happy Yule and a merry Christmas 

The Three blessings

Yesterday I've tried two Thanksgiving spreads, I found on other blogs, but although they appealed to me very much, neither of them gave me much clarity. Or perhaps I wasn’t feeling the Thanksgiving vibe. So I gave one of my own  more familiar spreads a try. This one is called  “The three blessings”. (Still a bit in the same spirit). I have found it somewhere online, a long time ago.

It’s a three card spread, which are my most favorite spreads: Short, fast and decisive. Enough to tell an elaborate story or to see in one glance what the core of the issue is. Mostly I just pull three cards and read them as they present themselves. I like to read cards very intuitively, with a book nearby for fresh input. J

With this spread the positions  do have a set meaning: 1 my hope – 2 my inspiration -3 my guidance

The three blessings spread - Crystal Visions tarot

I've pulled :

1 My hope -Ace of Cups: I hope to receive love on various levels. And I hope to able to share love as well. But most of all I hope to feel loved by the Divine because somehow I’m not feeling that connected lately. I hope to become more receptive. Like a vessel…..

2 My inspiration – Queen of wands: I am going to rekindle my creative embers with the energy of this queen. I am already more inspired but still  it’s difficult to get passed my inner censors

3 My guidance  - The Moon: I can trust my intuition to do, say and feel the right thing. So guided by my higher self and my instincts I want to explore the shady territory of my insecure mind. I know I don’t have to be afraid in my own darkness.

Today I am going to strip down my altar to the bare necessities.( a little bit scary) Gradually it has accumulated a lot of stuff and I want to start over. Everything I’ll put there has to have a special meaning to me right now. And the followings days I will slowly figure out if I need any additions . Perhaps in a week my altar is just the way it was. Who knows J