Uruz and Nine of Swords – About an Ox and a Demon

Today’s rune is Uruz, (Aurochs, the European wild Ox) the rune of strength, courage and endurance. I must be using up  a lot of my strength, because I feel rather tired lately.  So I asked The Anna K tarot what it is that sucks up my energy so easily and I got  the Nine of Swords. It can’t get any more clear than this. I think mental fatigue is a form of exhaustion which is hard to replenish and a good night sleep (which in this case is hard to come by) is often not enough. We all know how tired we can be after a day's’ work in the garden but we also know the deep fulfillment we feel when the is job is done. Yes, maybe some aching muscles will remind us of our work but our energy will be restored at night. With this card the problem lies elsewhere. The continuous churning of the mind over everything which keeps us awake is consuming all of our energy. Often the nine swords represent anxiety, grief, regret, guilt and other demons who might keep us awake at night and prevent us from moving forward in life. And here comes Uruz into play. Even in dire situations like this we have to lift up our head and face each and every demon that haunts us. Naming them is the first step, then follows acknowledgement of the fact we are haunted by them, And then the most difficult part is not to fight them, which only makes them stronger, but to befriend them, get to know them and  find out what keeps them here. and eventually we will be able to set them free which will most certainly boost our energy levels. This kind of work needs a courageous mind and spiritual warrior attitude.  Yes, it is tiring and there is nothing to show for when the day is done. But in the end we will sleep better for it.

Queen of Rods – I've got your back

Today’s card is the Queen of Rods from the Anna K Tarot.  She is the Sun incarnated. It is such a vibrant yellow card. This queen is self-confident and  self determined. She is all about making the most out of her life. Freedom to pursue her dreams and creativity is most important for her. Don’t cage her, don’t  hinder her, because then you will meet a whole other, not so pleasant part of her. Usually this queen is depicted with a cat so I tend to relate her to the goddess Freya or Bast. Both are fiery passionate solar goddesses.

As you might understand, I am thirsting for some passion and creativity in my life, which currently is still hard to find for me. So the encouragement of this card is very welcome today. I don’t  feel pushed or reprimanded by her. It feels more like she is coming to reassure me that she is still out there and that she hasn’t abandoned me.  It is almost as if she is saying: “He, it’s cool I've got your back. Don’t fret about anything. Just enjoy the first signs of Spring and try to soak up some sunshine today.”

New Moon in June

For this New Moon I've drawn two cards as usual. The first one for the energy I am going to release and the second one for the energy which is beneficial for me to embrace. From the Anna K Tarot I drew:

Release – Three of Rods. 

In this position it feels like this person is hesitating to take the next step and use whatever talents he has to continue his journey and permits himself to grow. He is all alone and continuously busy weighing his options and making plans. He is looking into the future and wants to be certain of every “what if” before he puts one heavily booted foot in front of the other.

Embrace – Ace of Rods.

Another card from the suit of Rods but such a different one. I have been pulling the Ace of Wands a lot lately. Here we see a bare footed girl is using her rod to walk over  the abyss. She spreads her arms like if they were her wings and it feels like she soars to the other side. This card is urging me to be fearless and dare to be impulsive; to have fun and not to be afraid of making a mistake.

This new Moon spread reminds me of the Vasalisa the Wise spread from June 1

The three of Wands and the Hermit have a lot in common in these two spreads and the Ace of Wands… well I suppose this card will keep  turning up  until I take that leap of faith.

Two of Swords – Listen to your heart

Today’s card is the Two of Swords from the Anna K Tarot. Instead of the usual blindfolded woman the man in the depiction is walking away from his swords. Maybe he is hoping when he pretends they are not there he doesn’t have to deal with them. But it is obvious this isn’t working: the sand from the beach outside has found its way into the room, the floor is cracking, the waves high and from the anxious look on his face I am sure he knows. It is a new moon, the perfect time for new beginnings and facing his responsibilities 

Often when we try to make up our mind with only our intellect our decision doesn’t feel quite right. A little voice starts nagging us. Although we have decided, we are still doubting if we did the right thing. Only when head and heart are both being heard a balanced decision can be made and the man in Two of Swords  can go home to the Ten of Pentacles, where he can enjoy the simple things of life with his family. There he will experience a peace of mind which he thought he had lost in the tidal waves of the stormy sea.

Listen to the Hermit…

Today’s cards are the Eight of Pentacles and The Hermit from the Anna K Tarot.  The Hermit is showing up very regularly for me and also other cards which are conveying his message, like the King of Cups from the same deck who is enjoying some quiet time, reading a book by his fireplace. They all seem to want me to take some time for myself. 

It has been quite a hectic week so far. Last weekend I went to visit my mother and how much  I love to see her and spent time with her, it still always a very  energy consuming event. So when I returned home I was more than willing to follow the advice of The Hermit. But life has its own agenda and Monday morning we’ve received some very thrilling news: My SIL has found a job very near to our home town so S and he will be moving out soon but they will be living close by. He has applied for jobs all over the country, so this job is an answer to many of my prayers. But the thrill of excitement has changed S into a small indoor tornado. Chatting about moving out, houses, furniture, color schemes has left me with hardly room for my own hermity ways whatsoever. And because I do love to be included in her eager anticipation to move out, you can imagine how difficult it is for me to find some balance.

The Eight of Pentacles is my cloaked temptation to keep control over my daily life. As long as I am cooking, cleaning, doing groceries, meditating, drawing my cards, leaving comments, posting pictures on IG, writing in my journal and uploading a blogpost now and then, I will have the reins of my life in both my clenched fists. (p.s. let’s not forget the upcoming holiday preparations :D)

Look how strict and severe the master is checking the work of his pupil. This is my inner parent who hates it when I slack. I guess he is never really satisfied and how much effort I put into it, it is hardly ever enough. I can always do better and more.
So today I am going to embrace my inner Hermit. Like a wise and friendly elder he will guide me into a more quiet and peaceful state of mind. He will be able to convince me to let go of all my to-do lists even the “spiritual” ones and to listen carefully to that soft inner voice which will tell me what it is I  really need in this moment.

I am even considering to take week off from my digital life and spend some real quality time with Me. So if you don't hear from me for a couple of days you will understand why and what it is I am up to: No-Thing :)

What does Tarot mean to me?

Today I had an interesting conversation with M about which place Tarot has in my life. Words as hobby, interest, obsession, collecting or hoarding, were mentioned. Recently I have shared with you my craving for new stuff etc.  I still think it is not healthy to give in to every budding desire but sometimes there are decks out there you just can’t say no too. For me this is the Ravens prophecy tarot By Maggie Stiefvater. So this afternoon after long consideration I pushed the buy button and I honestly feel so good about it.

To shed some light over the question: “What does tarot mean to me” I pulled three cards from the Anna K Tarot:

Three of Pentacles. My all time creativity card. Tarot opens for me the door to the creative part of my mind. With each  drawn card there is a question asked and an answer needed. Each time a different answer is required, depending on the question, the surrounding cards or the mood of the reader. Tarot is for me the  Book  of Life made of 78 cards and it’s never finished. 

The other beautiful aspect of this card is the sharing of this creative outlet with other likeminded people and to learn from one another and enjoy each other’s work.

Four of Swords  This card is all about the stories we can create with the cards to tell ourselves when we are troubled. These stories mirror our deepest thoughts and fears. They unlock our unconscious and reveal what is hidden in the abyss. Eventually this will bring us healing and peace of mind.

Four of Pentacles  when I pulled this card I had to laugh out loud. My deck couldn’t have overlooked this aspect. This card urges me to walk the fine line between hoarding and selective collecting

I enjoy playing with my decks a lot. Holding them, shuffling them, flipping through them. Al these things are very relaxing for me. So reading this card more positively I would say I really do enjoy having a physical deck collection.

Seeing the two fours here also made me realize how much support and stability Tarot has brought into my life especially during life’s (inevitable) challenges.

What does tarot mean to you?

New Moon in November

Today’s cards are picked by myself from the Anna K Tarot to represent my intention for the coming lunation.

Release - The seven of cups.

Lately I feel the desire more than usual to buy stuff on an impulse. YouTube is a very powerful enabler. Lots of gorgeous decks are unboxed, revealed, and reviewed. Besides that I feel the urge to smoke a cigarette more often and more intense. And don’t get me started about milk chocolate with hazelnuts. I know giving in to these cravings only will give short time fulfillment but none the less I feel them so intense.

Embrace - Strength. This card beautifully represents for me the practice of “Feeding your Demons” developed by Lama Tsultrim Allione which Bev  introduced me to.

The woman in this depiction of Strength is facing her inner lion, her untamed self, the sum of  her intense emotions and burning desires. She asks her what it is she really needs because it isn’t chocolate, the next new deck or a cigarette. And gently her lion puts her paw on the woman’s lap and looks at her with her deep brown eyes and she knows: Her lion needs to be loved, comforted, held, cared for, listened to, and so many other things that money just can’t buy. When all of her needs are met she can unfasten the collar and sit with her quietly.

I love it that in this depiction the lion is female too, which highlights the fact that the woman and the lion are on and the same.

This month I am going to focus on tending to my lions needs and to be compassionate with every part of myself when things get difficult. I also want to focus more on being grateful for what I have.   

Gratitude: Today I am grateful for seeing through the illusion that things will give me what I really need and for the inner strength to change my behavior patterns    

The Ace of Cups - Drinking from the Well of Love

For today I’ve drawn the Ace of Cups from The Anna K Tarot. I love how the colors in this card are so well chosen: blue for intuition and deep feelings, white for purity and yellow for heartfelt decisions how to use the potential of this wonderful Ace. We see a lovely young woman filling her cup with water from a deep blue well. The earth is still covered with snow but we already see the first signs of Spring: There are sprouting leaves on the Birch and  bulbs are waking up beneath the snow. This is a time full of potential and new beginnings.

The Ace of Cups is all about Love with a capital L. The purest deepest positive emotion we can feel.  But we have to be willing to reach deep down into ourselves to find this Love which is the, often unconsciousness, instigator of our daily acts of kindness, our intuitive love for our family , the sensual love for our partner and so many more expressions of this wonderful feeling.  In my opinion Love is energy which holds everything together. As we were created out of Love  so do we create out of love too. Every time we pass love on in whatever way or form, we create more love. So the well in this Ace never runs dry. Sometimes when we are weary it is good to sit near the well and let the healing water run over our wrists and then we can fill our cup again, sip from it and feel restored by Love

The World – The end of our Journey?

For today I've drawn The World from the Anna K tarot. This is far out the most beautiful version of The World I have in my collection. In this depiction we see  the universe enfolding the World tree, the Yggdrasil. The sun, the moon phases, the night sky, filled with stars; all are here to celebrate the end of the Fools journey. The fool, the explorer, the wander, has traveled through the entire Major Arcana  and he has learned so much. But the most important thing he’s learned is to be who he truly is: The Fool, the most authentic part of our selves, ready to travel the next winding of the spiraling journey towards becoming one with everything, with the Universe, with God(dess)

I think this spiraling journey inwards is the greatest adventure we can have in this lifetime. It is a voyage beyond compare: climbing mountains, fighting dragons, finding our significant other, leaning about magic and deep wisdom, being guided by celestial bodies; always on our way and always home for the journey is within.

“We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.”

T.S. Eliot

Page of Cups - Playing in the mud

Today's card is the Page of cups from the Anna K Tarot. A young boy is playing with water, pouring from the rock. The source of this spring is a the vast universal well of intuition and hidden wisdom but he doesn't know that; not now, not yet. It is late at night and in the distance one star is watching over him, ready to guide him if he needs it. But not now, not yet. The young boy has as a cup and saucer to gather the water and to pour it out over the rocks, over and over again. The fun is in the repetition of the game. He is experiencing an abundance of flowing feelings, of embracing them and letting them go but he doesn't know that; not now, not yet.

Al he wants to do is play with the water and the mud for that is what this page (earth + water = mud) is all about. Shaping the mud into formless  pies is what all children love to do. Eating them (throwing them over their shoulder) and baking a new batch; over and over again. This is the message for me today from this page: Playing is not a onetime thing. Doing the same thing over and over again it what gets you in the flow. In my opinion, playing is a circular act while practicing is often more linear; working towards a goal

This afternoon I am going to paint with my watercolors some whet in whet backgrounds for later drawings. So no pressure to create something beautiful; just playing with water and paint. YAY!

What will be your “mud pies” today?

Three card spread with the Anna K Tarot – Keep smiling

What a downhearted, sorrow full  bunch of cards this is.  I've pulled them from my Anna K tarot without any specific question. The Nine of Rods was my first card and it set the theme for this spread. This card is all about taking the time to regroup yourself after some serious battles. The man is obviously hurt, dead tired and on guard for the next attack.

I can relate to this card since we have a lot of things to work out around new social security rules for M and what the officials expect from her and if she able to meet those expectations. Since this isn't the first and certainly won't be the last time we have to deal with this kind of trouble, we are a bit inclined to expect the worst. So I asked the cards if there was a better way to approach such a situation and I got The Emperor and the Three of Swords.

At first glance it seemed like a dreary set of cards filled with grumpy characters and sadness and lots of greyish colors. But when I looked closer I could see some sound advise here. The Emperor will guide us through the maze of rules and regulations. He urges us to learn about them so we will be sufficiently prepared once we have to meet with the officials. Also he advises us to detach ourselves emotionally which is highlighted by the Three of Swords. There is no reason to get all sad and broken hearted yet. Most likely the officials aren't; set out to hurt us and we don’t always have to be prepared for the worst case scenario. Maybe everything will work out fine just as usual. 

So although these cards look all sad and grey I am very pleased with them today and they’ve put a smile on my face

Five of Pentacles – a helping hand

After having pulled rather challenging cards the last two day, I decided to draw today’s card with a positive question in mind:  “What can I do right now, in this moment that will bring me pleasure and also positively impact my future” (Sasha Graham). I’ve written about the origin of this question in a previous post.

How happy I was with my decision when I pulled the Five of Pentacles; an obvious example of a again a challenging card. It felt almost as if the tarot was pulling a prank on me. In this depiction we see an elderly couple sitting under a make-do shelter covered with snow. This card is about deprivation, poverty and physical, mental or material hardship.

“But this card does also imply that comfort can be found in such situations in partners, friends or unexpectedly compassionate strangers. The card invites us to look for help and to accept help that is offered to us”(guidebook). So that is the positive side of this card.

In answer to my question; I will look for how I can  be compassionate to others and how I can try to gracefully accept offered help. The last part is the most difficult because I usually want to do everything myself so it will good for me to learn to depend on others too. 
This morning somebody friendly let me cut in line at the grocery store and when I came home my girls offered to put the groceries. So it was a good start of my day
I love it how the question has  determined the atmosphere of this reading J

Today I am grateful and accepting for a helping hand, either mentally or physically

The full Harvest Moon of September – Tarot Spell

Yesterday, it was the night of the full Harvest moon and encouraged by Bev from By the Sycamore Tree I've decided to create a tarot spell/visual prayer in order to help me cope with and accept the coming changes in my family. (S will be moving out when her boyfriend finds a job) Also to help me see these changes in a positive light; perhaps even as a kind of personal harvest after years of mothering.

I've  learned this type of spell from Kerry from Neopagan Priestess. The tarot is a wonderful tool to visualize and focus on your desires, need for change and maybe even your gratitude before you have actually experienced the fulfilling of your desire or noticed a positive change.

Because I've been working with the Anna K Tarot lately, this deck was a natural choice to use for my spell.

First I've laid down yesterday’s card as the main theme. Then I flipped through the deck to find cards which resonated with me and/or were connected one way or another to this theme. This went very quickly and without a lot of thought. Finally I narrowed the little pile down to three cards to put around the theme card.
I've picked the following cards:

Ace of Pentacles for Me and M nourishing our roots, planting seeds, redefining our living together and for new exciting opportunities for both of us

The Sun as the symbol  for joy, a positive outcome, and self-confidence for all of us

The Three of Rods for S making plans and starting out on a new exciting journey 

I loved how these three cards were radiating their yellow sunlight over the darker Eight of Cups. Yellow and blue, a match made in heaven!

I've put it all on tray (thank you Kerry!) to put it wherever I want it to be. To focus on my intent I've come up with this little prayer. I tried to translate it as well as I could.

“May the sun shine its light over you and your journey and your choices yet to make and over us while we are keeping our home safe and enjoying the new opportunities this change will  bring us.”

Eight of Cups – rearranging life

For today I've drawn the Eight of Cups from the Anna K Tarot.  Similar as in the seven of Rods from yesterday I have the feeling the main character isn't symbolizing just me. This card feels more like the illustration of what is about to happen to our family in due course. You all know I don’t use my cards for fortunetelling: This Eight of Cups reminds me of an inevitable event. In my opinion this is about my eldest leaving home and M and I are staying behind. And there is sadness in this depiction although I am aware she is so ready for moving out. Her boyfriend has finished his studies recently and is now going to apply for jobs. I do hope they will find something nearby but nowadays you can’t be too picky. Anyway a familiar situation is left behind and a new life is about to be found

Besides this card made me think about S her moving out, this card is also about me and M being left behind and rearranging our eight cups. The stable situation of three women together in one house is going to change for sure. Family dynamics will be shifting. To be honest, although I trust we all will be alright in the end and for S it will be a big adventure, I think it rather scary too. 

Seven of Rods – respecting boundaries; no trespassing!

Today’s card is the Seven of Rods from the Anna K tarot. We see two men in this depiction  They are in conflict, fighting, attacking and defending. Usually I identify with the person defending the tower. I always have the feeling I have to defend my personal place and time in this household. A remnant of when my girls where younger and my husband was ill. But  today I am not so sure this is only about my boundaries. We are living with three adult women in one house and it’s still difficult for me to see my girls that way because I am also still there mother who worries a lot and is quite controlling in nature J

So maybe this is a sign for me to let go of the reins a bit more and trust them to make their own decisions and let them make their own faults. Of course when they ask for help or guidance I will always be there for them. Seeing us resembled in this card  the need for change is obvious. We all need our personal space. Since there is also a chance my  S.I.L. will come and live with us for a few months there will be definitely need for some checking and/or maintenance on our personal fences  and discussing  some ground rules about "fair fighting".

One year Blog anniversary!!!

This afternoon I realized it  is exactly one year ago that that I've started writing this blog. It was it was initially my intention to have my own place on the internet where I could show some of my creative projects if somebody would ask for this.

Little could I know I would enjoy writing my daily posts about  my tarot and oracle cards that much. Since then, I’ve written 355 posts which I am so grateful for. This blog has given me so much joy, new insights and fulfillment.

But most importantly it has given me the chance to connect to my far away living but also very close, dear friends from all over the world and also it has been such a good experience to feel passionate about something this much and for such a long time: Writing and tarot; what a great combination. Even though I may have felt creatively  blocked sometimes, this blog was always there for me. For some reason I can always write

So, to all of my dear readers, known and unknown, a heartfelt thank you  for following me on this exiting and empowering journey and for always being there.  

Hugs Ellen

Ten of Pentacles - Is everybody Happy ???

For today I've drawn the Ten of Pentacles from the Anna K Tarot. As I’ve said before, this beautiful and vibrant colored tarot deck reads for me like a storybook. This card is the “They live happily ever after” card for me. It is all about family, security, loyalty, traditions and yes… also about gratitude for all these things J.

Honestly, the guidebook says:  “The Ten of Pentacles stand for the kind of wealth that can be found in daily life. They stand for happiness with your family, for the small joys of life - garden, sunshine, a cup of tea, the sound of rain, the visit of a good friend... Those who know and appreciate this kind of wealth will hardly ever be discontented or unhappy.”
So as from today this can also be my "gratitude" card!

Yesterday I've addressed the issue of last post and although difficult is was the right decision to do. Afterwards I felt so much better. It  was such a relief to have been able to express my feelings and to be heard.

What stands out to me the most in this card, is the love and care for this tiny baby. It is surrounded by family and friends and is safe and protected. When I consider a tarot card as a mirror of who I am then the child is that little precious part of me who I want so badly to be happy and cherished. And today I am sure I am not the only one who wants this and  I feel loved and supported by my family and dear ones

Nine of Swords - What to do when you worry too much?

What a fitting card I've drawn for myself today: the Nine of Swords from the Anna K Tarot. Being a rather anxious worrier myself I can often relate very easily to this card but today even more because yesterday evening I was feeling down and hurt and I had trouble sleeping. When you look at the girl in the depiction you’ll see she doesn't even have room to lay down in her bed because of all the swords are sticking in her mattress. Sometimes I wonder if I expect too much of others but I felt left out and forgotten and it did hurt and I felt sad about it.  And then I find it difficult not to wonder about the why’s and I worry about how deal with this issue; what is the right thing to do. Should I forget about it and act if nothing has happened or should I share my feelings and risk to be completely misinterpreted or brushed aside. 

So I ask what is the best solution if I worry too much and can’t stop my train of thoughts. And I got the Seven of Cups. This card is shouting to me: “you should practice what you preach” 

Last Tuesday I had written the post: “a thousand gifts”. This was all about how to be grateful and see the beauty and wonders of life even when you’re down or in a stressful situation. And look at me two days later. Needing the Seven of Cups to remind me of my own resolution to practice gratitude and list my gifts J. 

So for today I am  going to pick up my journal and write down the content of those Seven Cups!

“It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.” Eckhart Tolle

Four of Cups – Enjoy what you have and feel abundant!

This Four of Cups from the Anna K tarot couldn't be more fitting for me and is so right on time to be my wake-up call.  I've told you before I was feeling a bit under the weather lately and  I have to admit I have ordered a few decks to feel better. Although I am super glad with those decks, I know I wasn't ready to explore new decks since I've got my birthday presents in may. But one way or the other they just kept being delivered by the postman. He is such a great guy! J

Anyway I feel a bit like this man in the picture. He’s got all these delicious dishes handed to him by his loving daughters and he doesn't seem to appreciate the taste or the effort at all. He is just sitting there wanting something  better or different.

Emotional shopping or eating or whatever takes your mind of the hurt or the sadness is never fulfilling. The hole is just as deep when the first rush of excitement about a new purchase or chocolate bar with hazelnuts has faded.

So what does this all practically means to me?

• I am going to put a stop to my splurging on decks until September the 21
• I will keep meditating  to be more connected with The Divine and myself
• I will play with the decks I have and try to enjoy them and connect with them on a deeper level (diviner)
• I will pick up my gratitude practice in order to be more aware of the abundance in my life
• I will try to take better care of myself; to be more attentive to my actual needs instead of burying them under heaps of stuff and cookies
• I am not going to beat myself up if one of the resolutions above don’t work out  (Broom )

The last deck which has arrived was the Enchanted Lenormand.

When I took the cards out of the box two of them fell out : the Broom ( something is swept away, cleansed or some kind of punishment or quarrel ) and the Diviner ( well guess who that is with all her cards). It seems I have to clean and organize my drawer and take stock of what I have and be happy with it. Then I want to sweep out  this negative behavior of numbing my feelings.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Melody Beattie

The King of Rods – not my best friend

After all the hectic events of the last couple of days we are getting back in our normal routine and for this day I have drawn the King of Rods from the Anna K tarot. This king is radiating fire and passion. Most of the picture is painted in yellow, red and orange. He is walking with a confident pace and a clenched fist which both are signs of his determination. Looking at his face I don’t think he is angry. He is creative and resourceful and  he inspires (expects) others to be so too (No pressure J)

“I am not a tame man. Although I am a leader, and bear responsibility well, my heart is forever free from the restraints of guilt, shame or routine. I am the fire behind all new adventures. I thrive on dynamic change. I live life to the fullest, and choose to pursue every experience I can that will bring excitement and enrichment into my life. I live by my convictions, and guard them with passion. I love grand gestures, dramatic expression, artistic pursuits. I am a force to be reckoned with, and I command respect from everyone.” (Leila Vey)

Well to be honest, I am not a King of Rods person. He is too dominant in my opinion: Fire times two.He is too much of everything. I would be shattered by someone like him. Perhaps it is significant that I don’t like the guy. What does it say about me? I used to be a people pleaser; making everybody happy at my own expense. A lot has happened since then and now I am in a place where most of the time I am brave enough to say :”No!” . But I think beneath that strong voice there is still a lot of insecurity  and fear: what if something happens and I will fall back into those old behavior patterns?

Perhaps that is what this king is representing for me: an over overconfident person who will overstep  my fragile boundaries. And of course this King  can also be a pressing situation where I am obliged to give in for everybody’s sake. While writing this and thinking it over I am not surprised I don’t like this king.