Nine of Wands – Rise up again and agian

Today’s Card is the Nine of Wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. The same card as I pulled yesterday. The Nine of Wands is for me about wanting more, doing more, doing better. A card of burning desires and the sometimes not so pleasant aftermath.

     

We often take on more than we can manage. And only after we're burned out, we ask ourselves how could this possibly happen to me. Perhaps we don’t know our boundaries as well as we should have and so we let others and ourselves trample them without noticing until it is too late.

I’ve been in this position several times. But I have also experienced that whenever this has happened to me I always rise up again, stronger, wiser (I hope) and determined never to let something like this happen to me again.

So I wondered why this card is showing up again today and I pulled the Five of Swords. Not only is a burn-out caused by taking to on much responsibilities in the physical world. It is often accompanied by negative thought patterns such as lack of self-worth, self-love en so on. These mental attackers want to lure you into a battle, which they know you can’t win. It will only wear you out more until only chaos and exhaustion will remain. Maybe it is better to acknowledge our thoughts and see them as such: just thoughts and nothing more.  

We have to ask ourselves whether these thoughts and feelings are true and if they're not, I promise they will go away.

Then we will rise up from our ashes and become a little more akin to the person we want to be.

For me, this means I have to sit with these returning thoughts of not being good enough again and learn to recognize them once and for all as tricksters of the mind.

Temperance - From head to heart and back again

Today’s card is Temperance from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. In this picture we see a young Fae woman pouring water from one cup into another and she is completely focused on her task. She is also very conscious of her body and her surroundings and her movements are as light and elegant as the dragonflies near her head.

It seems so easy when you look at this picture but the ease comes from lots of experience and practice. From being able to travel from her head to her heart and back again in a split second. Always checking in with herself has become totally natural for her. It allows her to blend her thoughts and feelings into a perfect mixture called living.

Finding this balance isn’t so hard for me but keeping it is much more challenging. I tend to forget consulting my heart when everything goes smoothly and I am in control. But when feelings come knocking unexpectedly, my structured life falls apart rather quickly and I have to pick up the pieces once again. I wonder why this happens over and over again. I mean, I am not daft, I get the message, but I don’t seem to be able to remember it when all is well again.

So for today I will travel this short distance regularly even though it might feel like a very long journey.

Ten of Cups – Blessing my loved ones

Today’s card is the Ten of Cups from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Traditionally we see a happy family in this card. A culmination of love in all its forms. Yet in this card we see an elderly Fae woman working her magic over a boiling cauldron. This card oozes good intent. With all her love, wisdom and experience she has gathered the herbs for her blessing spell and now when it starts to simmer, she feels the time is right to help the steam carry this loving energy towards her loved ones. Gently and gracefully she moves her hands and softly sings her blessing songs. 

This card reminds me I don’t need to be physically near my loved ones.  I can bless them and wish them well any time and any place.

So for today, I will make an extensive list with everyone dear to me so I can bless them and wish them well on the night of this full moon. A perfect time to work some magic and send my good wishes to all of you and many more…

Three Card Spread with the Tarot of The Hidden Realm

For today I will do a three card daily spread with The tarot of the Hidden Realm. The positions are as follows:

1 The general energy of the day

2 The challenge of the day

3 The gift of today

The cards I drew were:

1 The general energy of the day – Two of Wands

Two playful fairies are flying between the leafs and the blossom of a Rowan tree. They are young and their lives are filled with endless possibilities. While playing and experimenting they will learn what it is they truly want out of life and then they have two options: To keep fluttering from one tree to another or follow their passion, their hearts desire.

2 The challenge of the day – The Emperor

The next step is to bring structure into the mix and to form a plan. However, the challenge here is not to become too rigid, write endless to-do lists and squeeze every drop of the fun out of it. Instead, we might try turn to our inner adult for some fatherly advice.

3 The gift of today – Temperance

Yes, balance is all! The gift is a perfect mix between structure and play, between following  a plan and being flexible enough to adjust it and make room for trial and error

I am very pleased to see how these three cards have worked together to affirm my New Moon draw of the Six of Cups (inner child work). These cards highlight the need for play as well as for an adult approach to it.  

Queen of Wands - To Life!

This morning I got up a bit earlier than usual with the intention to meditate, draw a tarot card and journal about it. I even lit a candle for the occasion. And what a wonderful way to start the day it was. I wonder if I will be able to remember this until tomorrow morning. Just kidding! Since I am not a long distant runner and terrible with challenges, I will try to do this morning “routine”  for a week from today and I promise myself not to beat myself up if I skip a day.

My card for today is the Queen of wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Look at her cheeky smile as if she is saying: “I told you so, everything will be okay. Even if you don’t feel my warmth and my fiery energy for a while, it doesn’t mean I have abandoned you. I am always on your side. Together we can accomplish anything, even a a nagging and paralyzing depression. So smile my dearest, take a walk, create, dance, write, cook, anything will do as long as you do something, even if it  seems you are only pretending. Action is the way of out of sadness. So go for it girl and life!"

Somehow the cards in this deck are so talkative. I used to find them very hard to read with but nowadays they word so perfectly what I need to hear.

Six of Wands – Ignite your fire

Today’s card is the Six of Wands from the Tarot of The Hidden Realm. Traditionally this is the card of victory and success. Although this card often relates to experiencing a successful completion of a project, today I feel it is more about an internal victory. Sometimes, often without knowing, we lock ourselves in a mental stronghold, which seems impossible to break out of. The only tools to escape we have left are our inner resources, how scarce they may be. When the day comes we begin to feel restricted and imprisoned instead of safe and protected, we will have to ignite a tiny spark of courage inside us and feed it with brave and fiery kindle. It is okay to be afraid, this is in no means a sign of cowardice. Still your mind and nurture your flame so it will grow stronger with each breath you take. This fire inside you will forge the key to freedom. Nothing will be able to hold you back when you tap in to this fire.

And as we can see in this card, fire attracts fire(flies). So our inner fire will keep feeding itself with everything we do and with whatever makes us happy!

“Courage isn’t a lack of fear, it’s being afraid and doing something anyway” (guidebook).

Three of Wands - Bloom where you're rooted

Today’s card is the Three of Wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm.  

  

A lovely couple with their new born child is depicted in this card. They’ve made a commitment to each other and they chose to stick with it for better and for worse. Their love for eachother and their hope for the future have brought a new life into this world. Their lives will never be the same but they are okay with that because this little baby will give them Love and Joy and so much more than they ever dreamed of.

I tend to read cards mostly as a mirror of my soul, so for today I see all three of them as aspects of myself. At the beginning of my adult life, like many of us,  I started to make life changing choices and with each choice I made, other options were ruled out. Little by little my path seems to have less forks in the road and mostly I am okay with that. I mean, I don’t mind that I can’t climb the Mount Everest nor do I miss milking my cows at four o’clock in the morning. I think you get the idea. The older we get the more settled we are becoming and the more rooted we get in our way of life.

Then there is this child, which represents the fruits of our labor, our goals and our passions. How do  I love this child: my children, my paintings, the home I’ve build for my family and my love for them and last but not least the becoming of me.

When I asked the cards to tell me a bit more about this child, I had to laugh because I pulled the Page of Wands. This little child is growing up so fast and he is getting stronger too. He is becoming more and more self aware and comfortable with who he is. He is curious, active and optimistic and loves to learn new things. A lovely guide  for when I want to play some more in my art journal to try out some new techniques  or maybe for when I want to do something completely different than what I'm used to....

Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Swords - Two creatures are walking in the forest

  

Two creatures are walking quietly in a dark forest. Each following their own path:

A warrior woman with her crow is carefully putting one foot before the other, expecting to be ambushed any moment from now. Behind every tree there  could be lurking a potential and ruthless enemy. There is only one way forward and there is no room for mistakes, because she knows that the tiniest mistake could be paid for with her life.

A hedgehog is scurrying between the rustling leaves, acorns and other autumnal seeds and fruits. The hedgehog is grateful for these small gifts from Mother Nature and while enjoying his meal he is always keeping an eye out for signals of danger. But he is not afraid. He knows he is more than capable to protect himself and so he strolls further over the crunching leaves without worrying about the sniffing and chewing and all the little noises he makes.

Two creatures are walking in the forest; Who are you or maybe  you are a bit of both?

(Ace of Pentacles and Eight of Swords from the Tarot of The Hidden Realm)

Eight of Wands and Fortune Faery - The Difference between Wanting and Wishing

My cards for today are Eight of Wands and Fortune Faery from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. 

  

In the Eight of Wands we see a highly skilled and focused young woman who is about to release her arrow towards her goal. She also has a lot of arrows in the quiver on her back; so many more goals to aim for. This card often urges me to list what I want to do in the time coming and today it got me thinking about what I want to do when Autumn will finally arrive here:

Learn how to knit toe-up socks, practice how to sketch quickly without an eraser, bake an Apple pie with the apples from our tree, go back to the gym, get acquainted with some of my decks on a deeper level and journal  more with them, clean my house, wearing long trousers, work with oil pastels…..

After I had written down a lot of wants and needs, I drew a card to find out if I hadn’t forgot something essential and I got the Fortune Faery. A little girl is about to blow on a dandelion puff and let her wish roam free on its little seeds.

She asked me: “You have so many wants, but what do you wish for?” And I was silent.

There is a great difference between wanting and wishing. Wanting is about things which are grounded in reality and which we are able to obtain if we direct our energy towards it. But wishing is more ethereal and fleeting. What we wish for is often not likely to happen but we can always hope and have faith it might happen one day.

Maybe I am afraid to wish because I don’t want feel disappointed. Or I am to pragmatic to believe in wishes coming true. Or maybe I am utterly content with where I am right now. This post will not provide me with an answer but it does stir up some serious food for thought.

"If you want to something, don't just wish for it. Life is too short to wait.” Stephen Hines

My thoughts on The IG Tarotspective Experience

my setup and six decks that might play along

In less than three days July has come to an end, so several new tarot challenges for August are promoted on IG. Among them is the Tarot “Experience” called  #tarotperspective   created by Kelly from @thetruthinstory and Patrick from @inthe78cards The fact that they call the Tarotperspective an experience was the reason I wanted to find out what this was all about. I’ve come to realize that I am not that good with IG challenges. Such a challenge is often a collection of 30/31 prompts to draw your daily card with. It puts too much pressure on me and when I am not able to complete a challenge it feels a bit like failure.
This Experience is supposed to be different. The goal is to choose one core deck and two additional decks. From the core deck you’ll pull, after shuffling, a card and from the additional decks you'll find its counterpart. When you sit with these cards you’ll experience how your understanding of the card you've pulled will grow and  become more layered. There are no prompts or questions. You don’t have to show up every day and you're free to tailor this Experience to your own liking. Some people  chose more than two additional decks or some will rotate them weekly.

Example with the Death card

For me it is certain I will pick the Original Rider Waite Tarot  as my core deck. The Rider Waite Tarot is the deck I started out with many years ago. It is a highly trusted, well read, and deeply loved deck. I want to broaden my perspective of the archetypes in this deck. I want to deepen my relationship with its characters and I want to add some fresh insights to the mix of meanings I have for each card of this deck. The more I think about it the more excited I become to participate in this challe… no, experience!

I am not sure which additional decks I will choose. Perhaps I will choose several and let

empty beds

my intuition guide me which decks want to enlighten me about my daily draw. Or I might just end up using two of the ones I’ve picked; we’ll see.

If you are on Instagram maybe you would like to join in and if you’re not, you might like trying to do this for yourself

Strength - We try to make the best of it, day by day.

Today’s card is Strength;  a great card to get and to lift up my spirit. We all know we have this great fortitude within us. We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for, so it is always a good thing to be reminded of our own inner strength. I particularly like this depiction of Strength because the woman and her wolf have such a deep spiritual connection. Without words or touch they know they belong together and they are an intrinsic part of each other’s life. (Maybe some of you remember I did a painting of this picture about two years ago)

What is it that we need this Strength for, this drive to go on, even when everything else seem to be opposed  to our efforts.

And then I drew the Seven of Swords. This is the lonely warrior. The one who goes on because he knows he is fighting for the good of all. Seven stars in the night sky are symbolic for his beliefs and ideals. He is a peace keeper with a sword in his hand. Each time before he goes into battle he examines his heart: Is it still pure?

It is hard to stand up for your ideals and stay true to what your belief in, especially when those around you do not  share those. Each day we get up and try to life our life according to those ideas as best as we can and each night when we go to bed and revisit our day we know some things could/ should have been done differently. But we don’t give up or give in and when dawn breaks we get up and try again.

The Ace of Swords – Finding Truth

For today I’ve drawn the Ace of Swords from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Immediately some keywords come to mind: new perspective and ideas, mental clarity and truth.

Looking at this image I noticed that the Heron is looking to his left, which is often seen as the direction of the past, of everything what has been before.  Maybe we can find mental clarity and truth when we face our past and learn from all the experience we’ve had and the lessons we’ve learned.

By embracing and accepting our past new doors will open for us; new opportunities to find the truth or parts of it.

When we try to notice the smallest changes and movements around us and the whispers of our soul within us then we will be able to distinguish truth from illusion. Little by little we gather and learn...

So what will I find when I quiet down and listen.... The Three of Wands: whatever has happened or whatever will happen the love for my family is what drives me to be a better person then I was yesterday.

New Moon in April

For this New Moon I've drawn two cards as usual. The first one for the energy I am going to release and the second one for the energy which is beneficial for me to embrace. From the Tarot of the Hidden Realm I got:

Release – The Seven of Pentacles

This card is all about patiently waiting. A woman is sitting on the ground facing the bleak April sunlight. She is clearly pregnant. She is holding her swollen belly with both hands, protective and nurturing. It won’t be long now. I can remember the times when my pregnancies were almost at their end. I was focused inward and content with just being; waiting, because there was nothing more for me do than to trust the process. Drawing this card, I wondered what it was I was waiting for now, because it is obvious this card in this position means my waiting time is over.

Embrace – The Fool

Wow, what an energetic card this is and so full of possibilities. I love how the colors of both cards seem to blend together and how it looks like both The Fool and the woman are looking at the same sun. This card marks a new beginning. A very suitable card for this Spring. Everything blossoms and comes to life. The waiting is over. It is time for a fresh start.

This afternoon I received an offer from our local fitness center  to have some free trial lessons. I am super exited.  This is totally new for me.  I also know I have to be honest to myself and feel  if it is truly something for me. I am definitely  going to give  this a serious chance because first and foremost  I want to become a lot fitter than I am now and I also want to lose some weight.

Six of Cups – I remember a time when…..

Today’s card is the Six of Cups from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. We see a woman bathing in the bay. This is where she can connect to her memories in a very soothing way. She feels them floating through her mind, just like the little waves are caressing her body. Some of those memories are kind and precious, some of them feel uncomfortable and sad but she tries to accept each one of them with gentle compassion. Often when something distressful has happened, it is not so easy to take a light-hearted stroll down memory lane again.  Personally I still find it very hard to revisit photo albums from more than a decade ago….

This card reminded me of an exercise I’ve read somewhere online once: 

Shuffle your deck, pull a card and finish the following sentence:

“I remember a time when…………

Whatever memory comes to mind when you look at your card, it's okay. It doesn’t matter if the meaning of the card has nothing to do with your memory.

Often memories are little snippets of a larger story. You can decide if you want to spent some more time there or if you want you can pull the next card. Don’t forget this exercise is supposed to be a pleasant experience. Try to embrace your memories with love and compassion. If a card disturbs you in any way feel free to pick another.

These four cards came up for me this morning:

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Page of Wands: I remember a time when I got my first set of “real” watercolors and how amazed I was by the quality of its beautiful pigments.

Ace of Pentacles. I remember a time when I started my first job as a teacher and how thrilled I was that  I was the one who would teach these little persons how to read in less than a year

Seven of Pentacles: I remember two times when I shared my body with one of my girls. The waiting. The caring and attentive love of my husband. We became parents and I like to think we were good at it

Justice: I remember a time when I thought life wasn’t fair. Why did this have happen to us. But gradually over the years life taught me about balance and how time and new experiences fill the empty places

Maybe you would like to try this for yourself. You can journal about your memories or just sit with them for a while

"We don't remember days, we remember moments." Cesare Pavese

Getting reacquainted with the Tarot of the Hidden Realm

Sometimes without knowing a well beloved deck gets forgotten while other decks, especially newer ones get all the attention.  I saw in the archives of my blog that is was October last year since I've used the Tarot of the Hidden Realm.

lost and found drawer

Why? For no particularly reason. So this morning I went outside with a cup of coffee and flipped through the entire deck, naming one thing per card which stood out for me and get reacquainted with this beautiful Fae deck. Then I shuffled the deck and pulled three cards. No spread, no positions, no question and….no guidebook. The last one was the most scary part because this deck is somewhat difficult to read for me and such a long time has past since I worked with this deck

In the box of the Wild unknown Tarot there is a message printed which says: "You'll find no wrongs or rights inside this box, only mirrors for reflection. open your mind, draw a card, & have fun on your journey". This wisdom is of course valid for working with any deck.

 I think tapping into our intuition is the key for a balanced reading. Because without it our personal interpretation of the cards a reading would soon become lifeless and boring. Usually when I read for myself I will get flashes of insight of what a card means to me and sometimes this has nothing to do with the intended meaning of this card. Often I check if my ideas correlate with what the guidebook says but for today I just wanted to follow and acknowledge the messages of my intuition.

For today I've drawn:

King of Pentacles - Instead of identifying with this king it feels like I am the little Fae girl who is sitting on his lap and it feels so safe and warm, nurtured and cared for. This king represents my home, my family, my books etc. and lots of coffee. It feels like home to me but I have to be careful not to get to comfortable there because I do want to keep building on my self-reliance and self-confidence. But for the here and now it is a good place to be. Resting, enjoying his stories, and regaining my strength to get on with my life.

Six of Swords - This is quite another energy. This woman is following the eagles in the sky; higher and higher into the far away mountains. She is leaving everything known to her behind to find truth and clarity and a new way of looking at life. Often our minds are clouded with assumptions, so it is good to step away,breath in some fresh air, filled with new ideas and gain some broader perspectives.

Temperance - a great card to find between the previous two. Neither of both energies are meant to stay the same for a long time. This card promotes to dance through life harmoniously and take the lessons and joy from each and every situation. She seems to pour her fluids effortlessly, moving the energies, like the flow of the river behind her. But when we look closely to her face, we see her concentration because she doesn't want to spill one drop of it. So live life and choose joy!

Honestly, I loved doing this. It felt like free writing; Just going with the flow. Not at all as scary as I thought it would be.J

Page of Swords - writing practice

For today I have drawn the Page of Swords from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. We see a young fey woman, with feathers in her hair, handling her sword. She is about to start her practice or perhaps she is just finished and putting her sword back in its sheath. In either case she is determined to get more proficient each day. She want to be ready for battle when needed.

Swords are all about thought and ideas and today this card is telling me to wrap my thoughts about some issues I’ve been putting off. To stop the doubting and swaying back and forth  and to try to be more specific with what I know, belief and stand for; to try to put words to my blurry thoughts. Doubting is great but it is also good to determine exactly what it is what is making you doubt. I have the tendency to avoid the more intricate subjects hidden in the corners of my mind.

Although I am a fervent journaler,  I am also a bit apprehensive to see my more uncertain thoughts in writing. I have to remember I am just like this page: practicing, so not every slash with my sword  has to hit its mark.

 “Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time”  M. Murray

New moon in October - be careful with your egg

I've been skipping my New Moon reading for a few times but for this month I thought let's give it another go to make this a monthly habit again. I like to have a kind of theme for the coming lunation and drawing tarot cards is a wonderful way to determine this.

I drew two cards from my deck; one for the Release and one for the Embrace position. Just a simple spread. No ritual and no meditating beforehand, just a thorough shuffle and an open mind should be enough for today.

The deck I've used is the Tarot of the Hidden Realm and the cards are:

Release: Eight of Pentacles:

This cards invites me to release the need to be disciplined and structured in my writing and other creative outlets. Practicing can wait for a while. Just do what you like when you can find the time. And stop being so hard on yourself and try to stop obsessing about slacking

Embrace: Ten of Wands:

In this card we see no burdened man with ten wands on his back but instead a little boy with the huge responsibility of carrying a Phoenix egg. He is destined to merge with this egg which is full of possibilities of drive and fiery passion. It feels to me this card already contains Ace potential. As long as you can be patient and vigilant, this egg will hatch and you can be filled with all its strength. This is a promising energy to Embrace.

Conclusion: When I am able to let go of the need to create regularly, I can focus on this fiery energy of the Ten of Wands, which can fuel my creativity when everything settles down in this household. In the mean time I can scribble, doodle and play a bit, but no pressure is to be applied because we don’t want to break the egg!

Knight of Wands - Hunting or shopping?

For today I've got the Knight of Wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. We see a Fey man hiding in the foliage of an Oak tree. His eyes are fixed on something in the distance. He wants it and he is going to get it. When? Not sure, but soon. His passion is seeping out of his pores and the need to change from observer to hunter is great. He is not concerned about the consequences or what might go wrong; He is totally living in the present moment. The only thing on his mind is to kill the prey. He is overly confident he will succeed, so let’s do it quickly…

I can relate to this knight. I want to be free to pursue my own desires without having to be considerate with my girls and my dog. I know it sound selfish but sometimes that’s me too. Luckily I am not entirely filled with Knight of Wands energy and my inner Queen of Swords will talk some sense into him, but he is there and he want to open the door so badly to go exploring. Maybe some sublimated hunting in the form of shopping might help???

“I get highs, to be totally honest, in second-hand stores. My hunting instinct, I expect, really kicks in.”(Bjőrk)

Three of Pentacles- adapting my creative choices

Today’s card is the Three of Pentacles from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Here we see an older Fey man; a skilled craftsman busy in his workshop. He is creating torcs, an ancient type of jewelry. They were often used to identify the wearer as a person of high rank. The craftsman is enjoying his work and the process of creating. First there is the vision of the torc he wants to create and then trough his hands this idea slowly becomes tangible.

When I look at his card I feel somewhat envious. Probable because I miss my creative outlet. Usually I am going to my craft room quite regularly and there I play with paint and paper scraps.This is my “humming time”

But since Jofee has arrived, a lot has changed.  But is this really the main reason why I am not creating? I pulled another card and I had to laugh out loud! 

Of course: My girls are both ill. Although M is recovering slowly, S is feeling a lot worse. And I feel like the comforting woman in the Five of Pentacles, taking care of them both. And most important watching Jofee for them. Now I realize this is only temporary. When everybody is up and about again, there will be enough time for me to go to my “workshop”. For the time being I have brought my watercolors and my watercolor pencils downstairs. These  art supplies won’t  make such a mess and I can leave on the table until I can find some spare moments to play and hum…

The Queen of Swords wants to ride into the sunset

For today I've drawn the Queen of Swords from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Look at how young she is and already she has such a wise and serious facial expression. It makes you think what she has been trough.

I love her “Mona Lisa” smile. She hides her feelings behind her great discerning skills. Everyone looks at her for an answer or a solution to their problems. She is surely capable: everything in this depiction is pointing at her sword she is about pull from its sheath: the pearl just above her third eye, the owl mask above her heart and the lace points from her robe. 

I wonder what is on her mind and I pull a second card…: the Faery Stallion or The Chariot. In my opinion our queen doesn't want to be here at all. She is tired of all her responsibilities and of the people who are depending on her. Her mind wanders off to a time when she was just a young faery girl; free and careless as the wind with all her options wide open and choices yet to be made. 

Riding on her stallion in the sunshine, feeling one with her horse and the world around her.

Then she pulls her sword….

Sometimes life can be so overwhelming: too many people asking too many questions. Sometimes you just want to run away from it all. I can identify with this queen a lot and I do admire her fortitude, honesty and smarts but I pity her well hidden loneliness because it is so difficult to share your own feelings when everybody it counting on you.

Almost at the end of this post it struck me that she is the queen. She can say no if she wants to, in such a kind and pleasing way, nobody shall deny her the right to do so.

Affirmation: Today I am going to say no with ease and without guilt to every demand which can wait to until tomorrow.