Eight of Swords - I am my own worst enemy

My life feels often quite overwhelming lately.  Perhaps because stuff is always happening beyond my control or it might be caused by the fact I am gradually trying to get off my sleeping medication which is mainly a “Stop worrying at night pill”

So for today, I have asked my cards how to simplify my life and I got, please don’t laugh, the Eight of Swords from the Raven's Prophecy Tarot. I didn’t see that one coming. This card is all about getting trapped by our own beliefs, our need to control and our self-doubt. This card is about being our own worst enemy. Look how the right hand is holding the left and causing us to be the victim and the attacker at the same time. The Eight of Swords tells me that maybe my life isn’t that overwhelming but that my thoughts about it are creating a more or less distorted vision of it; seeing problems and obstacles which aren’t there yet and probably will never be there either. It is hard to recognize the obsessive worrying and making up scenarios with the worst outcomes, after such a long time but it is good to know my cards are here to encourage me to stop this self-defeating behavior. Perhaps it is time to start meditating again and to practice living in the here and now, which is always perfect, simple and easy to manage. 

Judgment – Who am I….

Today's card is Judgment from the Ravens Prophecy Tarot. The first thing that came to mind was: “who am I to judge?”  Judging other people is such an easy thing to do. Even without actually knowing them, we offer our judgment, asked for or not. As long as we get it off our chest

The book reminds me of the book of “Sinterklaas” (list of Santa) where everything you have done in life is written down, the good and the bad. The crown, I don’t know who fits it or who is worthy to wear it. Santa, I don’t think so. Maybe be God but then we have to ask ourselves which God. I hope not the one from the fundamentalist churches because that would en be a good thing for a lot of us.

What about Karma? No crown, no book, just the law of cause and effect.  That sounds a whole lot better than judgment.

In the meantime let’s try to be nice to one another and keep our judgment to ourselves: In real life and online.

Three of Coins – Tending to your roses

Today’s card is the Three of Coins from the Raven's Prophecy Tarot. Three roses, although yet partially open, are bound to come into full bloom. As long as we keep caring for them, they will reach their full potential and our hard work will be rewarded. This is what we all hope for when we begin a creative project. But even though we put in all our effort, so many things, often beyond our control can go wrong.  It is then that we are truly tested. Do we give up or do we work even harder to try to get rid of the infestations and diseases roses are so susceptible for? When we are not that experienced in tending to our roses, we’d better ask for help from somebody who is. After all, the three of Coins is also a card of teamwork.

For me, the three lights above the roses, symbolize trust and even the confidence that these roses will bloom one day because without it we wouldn’t be able to do all this hard work and to keep going when things get more difficult. Yes, despite setbacks and challenges, these lights will help us to bring our project to fruition. 

New Moon in October

For this new moon, I have pulled one card from the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot as to what energy I should embrace during this next cycle of the Moon and I got The World.

After having pulled the Six of wands, the card of victory and celebration, for the two previous new moons, this card seems to encourage me to continue on this journey of well being and fulfilment

In this version of The World, we see a road with one intersection, heading towards the mountains in the distance.  For me, this symbolizes that even though we sometimes appear to have lost our path, it is always right in front of us. No need to retrace our steps or to take a turn to the left or right because going forward is the only way for us to live: Step by step, minute by minute.  Besides experiencing our life’s journey as linear, we also appear to journey in spirals: Every new cycle we start at the next winding of our spiralling path, always forward always changing; jumping from The World into the Fool’s position over and over again

The World card invites us to become aware of our accomplishments in life: not only of our successfully finished projects but also of the inner transformations we have gone through over the years. It is asking us to consider where we have come from and how we got here. Looking back, we might discover that the most difficult and challenging experiences probably have brought us the deepest feeling of fulfilment and belonging.

The first ten days of this lunation I will still be busy with my shadow work challenges, which have already brought up a lot of demanding issues. Of course, these issues do not entirely consist of darkness so I will be trying to also excavate the gifts and treasures hidden beneath the surface of these issues and give them the attention they deserve.

Also, I want to ponder about what my intentions are for my future journey: what needs to change and what is making me feel utterly content right now?

Perfect questions for journaling or just for sitting in my chair, listening to the wind in trees… and letting my mind whirl along with the dancing leaves

The Moon – Dealing with shadows

Today’s card is The Moon from the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot. It appears that the raven is holding the moon in his beak but we all know this is only an illusion. At night in the silvery moonlight, everything seems to look different. Shadows could easily be monsters lurking behind a tree. The sound of falling acorns will startle us more at night than during the day when the sun illuminates our life with certainty and purpose. But at night is it easy to get lost in the dark; to take the wrong turn at the crossroads and to become scared and uncertain but it can also bring you unexpected sometimes magical discoveries…

October is traditionally the month of shadow-work challenges on IG and this year I am participating for the third time with #shadowworkoctober by @mnomquah.  Although it isn’t easy, I am proud to say I have been keeping up so far. Issues which I hadn’t expected are coming to the surface. And others which I was ready to deal with once and for all, seem to stay hidden this year. This is one of the reasons I like to use Tarot for the exploration of my shadow because you can’t decide up front what is going to happen during the process. For me, shadow work with Tarot is a leap of faith into the dark abyss of my soul. Yes, Tarot is making shadow work so much more exciting and sometimes even scary but always surprising and rewarding.  

The Magician –Get your hands dirty

Today’s card is the Magician from the Ravens Prophecy Tarot.  Personally, for me, this is often a challenging card because it signifies the necessity to get off my bump and do something.  These days we are all about intention and manifesting: Large amounts of books are filled with how to manifest a perfect happy abundant life including our soul mate and a few but very intimate and caring friends. I wonder why all of us haven’t yet manifested this kind of life already. I think because the real magic isn’t in the spells, the words, or the intention but more so in the work afterwards. I mean if I had done a spell this morning for a clean house it might have raised my energy and motivation to clean but I still had to pick up the vacuum cleaner afterwards and do the work myself.

So are we ready to come into action, to leave our comfort zone and to shake up our not so perfect but rather safe little lives? Are we willing to takes the risks which are involved? We know who and where we are right now.  Is our need to change bigger than our fear of change? All these questions made me wish I had pulled another card. Monday morning isn’t the best Magician day for me, although I wish I had a magic wand to do my household chores today…

Page of Wands - Don’t forget to fuel your fire

Today’s card is the Page of Wands from the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot and instead of a childlike page with a wand in his hand, it depicts a burning match, symbolizing “the raw spark of an idea”. The Page of Wands is all about confidence, curiosity and wanting to experience it all. However, the problem with a single match is that it often burns out before it can start a real fire. We tend to get enthralled by this tiny little flame and forget to give it fuel to make it burn brighter and stronger. This often results in burned fingers and a feeling of disappointment and missed chances. The question we need to ask ourselves is if we want to use this fire to fuel our passion and desire to create, or if want to let it go to waste and wait for the next match to lit up.

We all have those days when great ideas pop up and fly away again but sometimes we need to try to take hold of that spark of inspiration, fuel it and start a fire.

Today I am going to rearrange my altar for this season and I want to try to keep it simple but meaningful.

What are you going to create today?

The Hierophant - I want to be free!

Today’s card is the Hierophant from the Ravens Prophecy Tarot. This card is the worldly, physical manifestation of spirituality, which is for me almost an oxymoron. 

In this version of the Hierophant, we see a candle burning in a lantern. It’s true that the lantern protects the light of the candle, even magnifies it with its glass but even though all these advantages, the light of this candle is contained and has lost its freedom to dance in the wind.

Lately, I find it difficult to relate to any organized form of religion or philosophy or even parts of it. I feel that my main reason to do so in the first place was my fear of being wrong and I perhaps felt there was safety in numbers. With the beginning of this new season, the only thing which feels spiritual to me is Nature itself in all Her abundance and Autumnal decay, the magic I see and feel in all of this, and of course my cards.

I do believe in the Divine, in Spirit, but for now, I experience it more as a loving Energy than as a specific deity.

All this feels fresh, free and playful. Without any tasks or structured practices, I am more “spiritual” than I used to be. There is no more pressure, just listening to myself and finding out what makes me happy and what connects me to Spirit

NB I do recognize the wisdom of all the wonderful teachings we have. I just don’t want to be limited by them anymore or exclude others who think differently.

King of Cups – Caution: Risk Of Explosion

Today’s card is the King of Cups from The Raven's Prophecy Tarot. In this depiction we see a glass which  contains just one feather. The king of Cups is known to be a very good listener. He truly can hold space for how you feel deep down and for what you need to unburden. Only after you have told him everything, he will give you great advice on how to move forward without any pressure to see his way as the only way.

But who really knows what is going on with him:  Always smiling, always nodding , always  calm. Who knows what this feather is all about? He will not share, without being pushed quite a bit. His feelings are buried deep beneath his responsibility as king.  But beware, these build up emotions can explode unexpectedly and then he feels exposed, ashamed and crownless.

So what advice could we give this King and I got the Hanged Man: this card encourages him to take some time  to explore how he feels about being the archetypal counselor and perhaps even more importantly to explore how he feels….

Often taking a step back will give us a more clear perspective  on a lot of things; even on what we didn’t know troubled us in the first place.

I know all too well how it feels to be a King of Cups and when build up emotions become a hazard for my family and myself.

So for today will try to be more open about how I feel, if only to myself in my journal, in order to prevent my glass to break into pieces once again. And yes, taking a few good deep breaths or a time out after “King of Cups duty” is a very sound advice indeed! 

Ace of Swords and Eight of Coins - Chop wood and carry water

My card for today is the Ace of Swords; a card of clarity and bright ideas and also in this version: reaching for the light within, which is in my opinion a way to enlightenment. Finding your most inner truth can feel like being reborn. Often it is a simple truth, one which you knew all along but never fully understood. Something like mindfulness or the power of breath or knowing we’re  always connected to everything.

This is the season I  always feel very drawn to go within and search for truth there but I also know Autumn, even though I adore it so much, is the season during which I am more susceptible to downhearted feelings and thoughts. So I asked my deck, how do I keep myself from over thinking and trying too hard to discover my truth, my spark, my guiding light and what will prevent me from feeling depressed when I don't find it (yet)

And I pulled: The Eight of Coins.

Seeing these two cards together, I was instantly reminded of the Zen proverb:

"Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water."

This card’s advice is to ground myself in my daily activities, cleaning my house, making dinner, watering my plants, knitting etc. All these activities occupy the mind just enough to keep it from wandering all over the place and they allow us to enter the present moment in a relaxed state of mind. It is doesn’t matter what you do but how you do it. Every activity can transcend from a boring and time consuming chore into an act of gratitude and grace. Not the activity itself has to change but the way we do things.

One more thing: often when I am busy with my daily “chores” I get the best idea’s. Something I think bright idea’s don’t want to be found because maybe they rather find us…

The Sun - How to get real

Since yesterday I have been thinking a lot about how to become more authentic and true to who I really am. This was brought about by several events during the day: reading Carolyn’s post about the Inner Child, reaching the chapter about Authenticity in  “The gifts of imperfection” by Brene Brown and becoming painfully aware of my “obligation” to be creative.

All this is strongly encouraging me to find out what it is I really want, as opposed to what I think I should want. Life can be so much more than ticking of boxes, even if they represent enjoyable activities.

 I have to admit I do find it a bit scary; maybe I don’t want to know what I really want or who I really am but then again I don’t like this feeling either.  

One thing which is in my opinion crucial to touch on this deeper layer is to live more mindfully and to make a full stop when a choice has to be made. This way we have the time to listen to our inner wisdom and to our inner child. I strongly belief that both of them are beyond pleasing and pretending.

Also I think tarot can be a great tool to trigger deeper buried desires and needs, especially when you read  the cards purely intuitively. So I have pulled two cards for today:

What do I think I want? Queen of Wands

I think I want to be a passionate, outgoing, confident and creative woman. I want to speak up and to be heard. I want to be unafraid of failure as well as of success. I want tot breath fire with my words. 

As lovely and juicy this all may  sound maybe this is not really who I am at this moment and also not who I aspire to be for now.

What do I really want? The Sun

I do like the become more self aware and to shed some light over the shadowy parts of my personality. My inner child seems to be in dire need of some sunshine lately. I want to learn more about who I am and to see this as the beginning of a journey within, which will bring me more wisdom, joy and happiness than pretending to be something I am not. Also I want to keep safe everything I learn along the way safe and protect it from old habitual thinking patterns. So I will keep the light of the Sun close to my heart and let it illuminate my way.

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are” Brene Brown

Three card daily draw with the Raven’s Prophecy tarot

For today I’ve done a three card spread for my daily draw with The Raven’s Prophecy tarot. Although I have this deck for almost a year now, this is the first time I am working with more intensely and I enjoy this deck so much. The simple yet very skillful drawings are highly evocative. They are conveying their message very clearly and with little room for doubt.

For my spread the positions are as follows:

Well this seems like it is going to be a wandsy kind of day. What stands out for me in this reading is the fiery sword of the Knight of Wands between the Ace of Wands and the Two of Wands as if the Knight is somehow trying to prevent the sequence of the suit to continue….

1 The general energy of the day – Ace of Wands

This ace is all about creativity and enthusiasm. Yes after a good night’s sleep I feel like the Page of Wands from Yesterday is ready to roll. This card is about beginning and not worrying if you will complete your project in a perfect manner. Just start and enjoy the process

2 The challenge of the day – Knight of Wands

It feels like he is not letting me do my thing: play, make  mess and go for it. The knight of Wands in a challenging position can be about doing all your chores before you are permitted to do anything fun. He is also about doubting your ability to create and he is scared to fail. He will act busy so no one will notice he is actually procrastinating out of fear

3 The gift of today – Two of Wands

Being aware of the power of the Knight I will be able to bring my idea into the next phase. Building up my painting layer by layer after creating the initial playful background. This card is urging me to apply structure and direction to my work. Head and heart are coming together in The Two of Wands and are joining their forces

Page of Wands – be mindful of the little sparks

This morning we have been on family chestnut hunt in a beautiful nearby park.  The perfect place to welcome Fall into our land. Lots of huge old trees, a pond, and loads of chestnuts. Each autumn they give me that giddy childlike feeling of wanting them all!!.

When we returned home I was very tired, not only from this morning but last week was a busy week as well. So I wasn’t surprised when I drew this particularly Page of Wands from the Ravens prophecy tarot. This Page is depicted as a lit match in the dark and immediately I heard the song: "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine" . This spark of fire, with so little fuel to keep on burning has to be protected and shielded from draft and wind at all cause. It might go out any moment.  But when I am able to protect this little match, it might also be the start of a crackling hearth fire.

For now any idea or new project which comes to mind I will jot down in my journal for another day. I will not lose it to fatigue or lack of enthusiasm. 

My cards for the Autumn Equinox

For this year’s Autumn spread I’ve used the Ravens Prophecy Tarot. This deck is quite the opposite of the Tarot of the Hidden Realm because while that deck is mostly about people and faces, this deck is all about symbolism. I was surprised by the amount of Court cards I got in this reading but fortunately it was easy to relate  to them.

By the way, getting reacquainted with my  Autumnal decks after so long, makes me very happy! It feels like coming home: warm, cozy,  familiar but also completely new. 

What have I sown? The World:

The potential to become and achieve whatever I want and cope with whatever comes my way

What have I reaped? The Queen of Wands:

I feel so much more confident to express myself in words and images and I’ve learned that art is not only something I like to do but maybe even more a way of taking care of myself. It feeds and fulfills my soul. I always feel so much better after I’ve created something.

What should I be thankful for? The Queen of Coins

I am grateful for taking better care of my body and I am also grateful to be able to be a caring mother not only for my family but most of the time for myself as well. 

Where do I still need to focus my efforts? The King of Cups

I would like to try to really listen what others have to say; at least give them a chance to let them finish their sentence. Also I think it is important to  become more aware of my own emotional currents.  

How can I achieve balance? The page of Swords

I need to find clarity in all aspects of my life especially about my emotional well being and for me the best way to do this is journal, journal, journal!

My thoughts on The IG Tarotspective Experience

my setup and six decks that might play along

In less than three days July has come to an end, so several new tarot challenges for August are promoted on IG. Among them is the Tarot “Experience” called  #tarotperspective   created by Kelly from @thetruthinstory and Patrick from @inthe78cards The fact that they call the Tarotperspective an experience was the reason I wanted to find out what this was all about. I’ve come to realize that I am not that good with IG challenges. Such a challenge is often a collection of 30/31 prompts to draw your daily card with. It puts too much pressure on me and when I am not able to complete a challenge it feels a bit like failure.
This Experience is supposed to be different. The goal is to choose one core deck and two additional decks. From the core deck you’ll pull, after shuffling, a card and from the additional decks you'll find its counterpart. When you sit with these cards you’ll experience how your understanding of the card you've pulled will grow and  become more layered. There are no prompts or questions. You don’t have to show up every day and you're free to tailor this Experience to your own liking. Some people  chose more than two additional decks or some will rotate them weekly.

Example with the Death card

For me it is certain I will pick the Original Rider Waite Tarot  as my core deck. The Rider Waite Tarot is the deck I started out with many years ago. It is a highly trusted, well read, and deeply loved deck. I want to broaden my perspective of the archetypes in this deck. I want to deepen my relationship with its characters and I want to add some fresh insights to the mix of meanings I have for each card of this deck. The more I think about it the more excited I become to participate in this challe… no, experience!

I am not sure which additional decks I will choose. Perhaps I will choose several and let

empty beds

my intuition guide me which decks want to enlighten me about my daily draw. Or I might just end up using two of the ones I’ve picked; we’ll see.

If you are on Instagram maybe you would like to join in and if you’re not, you might like trying to do this for yourself

New moon in March

For this New Moon I've drawn two cards as usual. The first one for the energy I am going to release and the second one for the energy which is beneficial for me to embrace. From the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot I pulled:

Release – The High Priestess

In this depiction of the High priestess we see a hand holding  a mirror, which doesn’t reflect her face but a clouded sky. She holds her secrets within. She is all about the silent inner journey into the hidden parts of ourselves. But not for me this lunation. It is time to look at life itself; Spring has sprung, flowers are blooming and the sun is shining. Holding my mirror, I might forget there is so much to enjoy  in the outer world.

Embrace – The Knight of Cups

Mmm not the Knight I had expected, but I suspect we’ll get along just fine. The Knight of Cups is represented by feather adorned with ribbons. They will dance in every breeze they'll catch. Being present with my feelings is quite a challenge of me.  Making heartfelt decisions as well. Having been stalked by Swords for  a long time, the Knight of Cups feels as a soothing balm for my mind. He will inspire me to seek out beauty in the world around me and create colorful pages in my journals. He will inspire me to find the inner peace to enjoy music and novels. Yes, he and I are going on a quest for love, beauty and making dreams come true!

Knight of Wands - I can’t stop the Rain

The last few days have been quite busy and I suspect there are still a lot of those days ahead. Due to the changes in my household I felt too distracted and too tired to pull my daily cards. Somehow my daily routine has been tossed upside down and this has made me realize how much I depended on that routine to get things done and make room for me as well.

After a few days without tarot, I pulled the Knight of Wands from the Raven’s Prophecy. This is the same card from about a week ago. It seems I needed to hear and feel his creative energetic message again today. He reminds me to take charge and be strong for myself. I am a worthy cause to fight for as long as I take care not to hurt the ones I love.

When I asked how or when he would help me I pulled the Seven of wands. Usually we see a guy on a strategic spot defending himself against his enemies. But in this deck we see a hand shielding the little flames from the pelting rain. This is what needs to be protected at all times: “the fire inside that makes you uniquely you.”

You can’t fight the rain, you can’t make it go away but you can be there for yourself, take good care of yourself so the rain won’t dowse your inner fires.

For me personally this means to carve out time for myself during the day, since the early morning hours are not always for me alone anymore. I want to spend more time in my room to read and write, to play with my cards or just to find some peace and quiet. I am sure if I am willing to give me all of this, the sun will come out soon enough again.

”La Loba” Tarot Spread

Yesterday I stumbled upon a very interesting tarot spread made by Vickie from EternalAthena Tarot: the “La Loba Spread”. She was inspired to create this spread after reading the first chapter of  “Women Who Run With the Wolves” by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes. In this chapter the story is told about La Loba; the Wolf Woman. The story tells us about how important it is to recover the lost “bones” of our inner Wild Woman and to become whole again. Since I love this book so much I was very excited to try this spread:

I’ve used the Raven’s Prophecy Tarot by  Maggie Stiefvater because the energy of this deck feels rather wild and primal and it speaks to the more concealed (wild) parts of me.

1 Who is the “Wild Woman” within? – The Two of Cups

This card is all about relationships with  lovers, friends and family and of course with myself and it tells me that my Wild Woman loves me enough to stay true to myself in any relationship. She urges me to cherish en love myself so much that I dare to love another as well without the fear of loving too much and losing myself or the other again.

My Inner Wild Woman wants to share her love and live from the heart

Where do I go to gather my bones? – The Six of Swords

By taking a step back and by reflecting on what went wrong. Taking the time to figure out which idea’s and feelings I can release and don’t need to cling on any longer. Just open my hands and let go… Then there will be room for new, more empowering ways of thinking about Love and Trust. Being a Swordy woman, reflecting and journaling about my thoughts is like to gathering bones to me

How can I express her? – The Ace of Swords

By taking the brightest and clearest idea about Truth and Love and pray it into existence.

The Knight of Wands – My new best friend

Yesterday I’ve received the Raven's Prophecy Tarot by Maggie Stiefvater in the mail and because we have been quite busy decorating for Christmas, these two cards are the first ones I pulled from the deck.

The Knight of Wands, my least favorite card for ages but recently it has become one of my “sigh cards”. Whenever he shows up I get the feeling I am Brave enough  to do whatever I set my mind too. Up until now this card has always been mainly about overcoming my creative fears. So when I asked in what area of my life he would be willing to help me I was very surprised I got the Ten of Wands. This is the card of burdens and burn-outs. So soon in December and already I’ve pulled Ten of Wands. Together these two cards are telling me not to be afraid of whatever comes my way this month. They assure me I will be able to find the energy and courage to engage any challenge ahead and they also remind me I don’t have to do everything on my own. I have the tendency to believe “Ellen knows best” but I also know I have two very capable loving daughters and a darling SIL who are always willing to do one’s bit whenever this is needed and/or asked.  Also I will remember the almost magical soothing effect of making art. So whenever my head hangs low from anxiety and fear caused by the burden of feeling overly responsible, my paints and pencils will always be ready for action.