Don't run away from grief

October 30: An angel on a tombstone, lovely flowers in a vase. A burning candle on a grave: there are all sort of ways and rituals to come to terms with death. What eases the pain of death for me?

Anna K Tarot

Death is not always about the  loss of a loved one. It can also be about the loss of something (project, relationship, job etc.)you hold very dear. I think whenever you feel grief, there has been death in whatever form. So how do you  ease grief? You don’t; please don’t. It is good to find pauses for you grief; to have some breathing space. Find distractions, go out in nature, be with family, but please never numb you grief. It’s a  natural way of releasing your emotions and sadness after someone/thing dear and loved has been taken away from you. When you try to suppress those feelings they will hunt you down even stronger than they were in the beginning.

And what has the tarot to say about this? I took out my Anna K Tarot, because I think this deck will keep the answer grounded. And it did: I've got the four of wands! Regular meanings for this card are celebration, showing gratitude, achievement but also moving forward into the five of wands. This card is all about moving forward in life, even after a major traumatic event as death. In my opinion grieving is also moving forward. It is very important to connect with other people and celebrate life, remember together and be grateful for these memories. The most intense pain can be eased by nature. Walking and spending time outside can be very healing. 

Lo Scarabeo Oracle

The three lennies I ‘v pulled to go with this card are coffin + tree + stork. 

At first glance I thought these cards were talking about the deceased but afterwards they made me thinkmore about the person who is left behind: the sadness, the lack of energy, the change.

Coffin +Tree :health problems, being extremely tired and worn out

Tree + stork : Something life changing has happened

This will be the last prompt for my blog, because the last one of this series will be to personal for me to write about. I will include it in my Samhain celebration tomorrow. I wish you all a very happy Samhain/Halloween J

Is there life after death?

October 29: The falling leaves remind us of death and the afterlife. Does the soul keep on living after death and where does it go?

Crystal Visions Tarot

Answering this question is not that easy. Nobody really knows if there’s life after death. People believe, hope and doubt on this issue. Each of us has his own perception of this presumed afterlife. And just as with so many questions this one is raising even more questions than giving  answers.

Let’s have a look if the three of swords can shed some light over this issue. Usually this card represents heartbreak , loss, separation, grief, decisions against the heart etc. But the combination of this question and the three of swords of the Crystal Visions Tarot will hopefully  help me to answer this question. So let’s bend the common interpretation of this card a bit. The woman is stabbed in her heart with three swords. It is surely lethal.  She is standing near a grave. Perhaps her own. Roses are growing on the grave and three ravens fly away high in the air. I assume that if one dies., the body is buried and the spirit and the soul will keep on living.  At first the soul will have to adjust in spirit form. Perhaps there is sadness and grief to leave the loved ones behind. But eventually the soul with fly free leaving the physical world behind. I think the spirit (what’s  in a name) is more an ethereal body of the soul. When the soul “crosses over” there will be less need for such a body. Where the soul will go I don’t know and honestly, I don’t care that much. I believe in eternal life in whatever form whether it be as angels or as pure energy, we will know when we get there. 

Well, I didn’t expect this at all. This answer is slightly different from my former assumption about the afterlife, but I like this one better I think.  Just two more days to go with these questions. I’d never thought I would make it. J

Ocean - Ebb and Flow

October 28: If a fallen leaf decays you can clearly see its veins. They form a dense network which has kept the leaf alive. What intricate network keeps me alive?

Earth magic oracle cards

Water  appears to become a theme in my daily draws. From lake, to Sea storm and now with Ebb and flow from the Earth Magic Oracle cards by Steven Farmer.

He writes the following in his guidebook: "An important aspect in the art of living is to move with the ebb and flow of your emotions, joining their fluidity but not being captured by it. It is also not necessary to become obsessed with any particular fluctuation in mood or feeling. They are simply emotions, often activated in ways that are completely beyond your understanding. When you neither minimize nor exaggerate the intensity and importance of your emotions, you then have a greater sense of when and how to express them." (If) "You have been fighting the ebb and flow of your own feelings -- denying your hurt, anger, or sorrow -- by either attaching yourself to one or the other and nurturing it as if it were a nursing child, or else smoothing over your feelings with practiced responses that deny and hide what is going on beneath the surface of your expression. When you attempt to constrict yourself from experiencing your emotions, it is much like trying to stem the tides that grow even more forceful with every attempt humans make to try and control them. Allow yourself to swim with these variations rather than resisting them." "Earth Magic Oracle Cards" by ©Steven D. Farmer

What can this card tell me about the intricate web that keeps me alive? For me this card is all about how you feel about yourself and the life you are living. Feelings and emotions can be a so confusing and entangled. But they're also making life beautiful and colourful. Without our emotions our life would be dull and plain. Since their ebb and flow are inherent to life, it’s up to us how we ride the waves. We have to trust the tides of our feelings; ebb is always followed by flow. Like breathing in is always followed by breathing out. Again this card is a reminder to stay close to my inner self: To really feel what is going on in the undercurrent and what is causing the spring tides.J

This cards also remind me of my youth when I lived near the beach. Whenever I my feelings where heightened, whether sad of happy, I would go there and stand at the seaside sharing my feeling with the waves.  

Sea Storm - Calm amidst Chaos

October 27: When it’s slightly dark and the cold air is hazy and foggy you can get lost easily when you are walking in nature. How do I find my way home?

Oracle of Shadows and Light

The card that will be guiding me home is Sea Storm from the Oracle of Shadows and Light. The subtext is: Calm amidst chaos. It seems my inner lake (yesterday’s post) isn't always that calm. This is a stormy weather with lightning and high waves. It is easy to panic, to be afraid and feel lost. There is no lighthouse in the distance You’re all alone. But as I've said yesterday, that should be enough. If you have been to your inner lake often enough you know the feeling you have to regain. And through that feeling you can reach you inner wisdom. That’s your guide out of this chaos. Your inner calm, your intuition knows what to do, what to say, how to act, to guide you home and to calm down  the wild raging sea. My true home is my inner source of wisdom where anything is possible, where magic is real and mermaids guide me home. This is where I can be myself at all times. So although the outer reality looks chaotic and wild and scary and your feelings are running wild,  the best thing you can do is dive deeper and deeper to the bottom of the sea, the basis of you existence. That’s where you’ll find peace and quiet. Just as the bottom of the lake is as calm as it surface, this rough sea has a calm undercurrent too.

Sea Storm is one of my favorite cards from this the deck. I love the beautiful blues and the contrast between the tranquility of the mermaid and the emotional wild waves around her.

Often my Sunday mornings are like emotional tidal waves. So I am grateful for this reminder to my own inner calm.

Lake - Stillness

October 26: In October it’s getting dark earlier. We make it cozy inside, lighting candles and we turn increasingly inward. What is center of my house?

 Earth Magic Oracle Cards

For this question I've chosen the Earth Magic Oracle from Steven Farmer. This is a beautiful deck which I tend to forget for no particularly reason at all. I've drawn Lake – Stillness. Following is an excerpt from the guidebook:

“The tempo of life these days has sped up considerably, and there seems to be no end to this quickening pace. Immersed as we are in the technological whirlpool, there seems no escape. However there is no need to be a prisoner to the ‘hurry up’ syndrome , nor is there a need to feel trapped by the awareness of the  collective intensities that massive numbers of humans are experiencing these days.
No matter if the noise is from your environment or your seemingly non-stop thinking, it is critical for you to seek  stillness. Find it in your world, whether it is a special place in your home or a place in nature that is far from man-made noise. Of particular importance is finding it inside yourself, which can be made easier by being in a quiet place in a natural setting. Doing so not only relaxes your mind, but also heightens your awareness and senses.”

I know it is very important for me to seek out silence because a quiet mind doesn’t come naturally for me and my surroundings are often rather distractive. Fortunately I have a bedroom for myself with my altar, my most precious books and al my decks and so forth. If I need some time and space alone I can go there.

Basically a sound advice but when I further look into it then I wonder if it is me who  is the center of my house. A house can be the physical building you live in but it's also the body which is carrying you. When you read lake that way it is so important to find you inner lake, take the boat and go there in times of turmoil.

I´ve learned through experiences, if I'm okay my family benefits from that. So it is in my opinion not wrong to be selfish or egocentric as long as you don´t intentionally hurt or deprive other people by this attitude. This goes against everything I've been raised with.

So of to my room with a cup of coffee because me daughter and her boyfriend are watching TV now. For the next hour it’s me myself and I. J

Unexpected Samhain reading

October 25: In the autumn hedgehogs do need  lots of food to build reserves for hibernation. In late November they go find a place to sleep. Which cozy warm place  can I make for myself now winter is coming?

Druidcraft Tarot

First I've pulled Death from the Druidcraft Tarot. That didn't feel right at all. How can Death be symbolizing my warm cozy place. So I pulled another card as a clarifier: The wheel. Not so cozy either. Honestly I am lost for words at this moment. But these are my cards and I’m sure they can teach me something….

To be able to enjoy the warmth and coziness of winter I want to achieve a relaxed state of mind; not too much worries and difficult decisions on the lurk

Death can help me with that. This card is all about letting go what serves me no more. And I tend to cling on to old stagnating problems, patterns and worries. (eight of swords). Or perhaps I can confront some of them in a healing way and put them in my cauldron of rebirth so their energies can serve me in a more healthy way.

The wheel is also all about patterns and cycles, harvesting and letting go and then moving forward. This cards teaches us also about inevitability. Sometimes life is what it is and we just have to accept it. The woman in the card is drawing her circle and she is making a place for herself between the worlds. She’s putting up a boundary between her and the rest of the world. In her hand she’s holding  the symbol of the wheel of the year. 

Druidcraft Tarot

This wheel teaches me to find the patterns and cycles in nature as well as in my own life. And on a very basic level, the drawing of the circle tells me that I can set up my cozy place where ever I am as long as I'm happy and content and I belief in my own worth and strength

Writing about these two cards is helping me to find meaning for myself right now. If I want to enjoy the coziness in my home and with my family I have to set out time for myself to explore The wheel of the year’s cycles an patterns as well as my own. And while doing so I want to try finally to let go of some old pains and grief and limiting beliefs.

This reading feels for me like a Samhain reading. The time of year to start over from scratch; to dive deep in the dark caves of my soul in winter and find there the seeds for new live in spring.

These two cards will be on my altar until after Samhain that’s for sure.

It is funny In the beginning of this post I just hardly knew what to write and now I am so sure these were the right cards for me J 

Reading: What I'm grateful for and how it does affect me.

As a follow up for this morning’s post I thought let’s do a reading with both oracle and tarot cards. For the main theme I drew from the  Oracle of the Shapeshifters:

Bats in the belfry: This card speaks to me about gratitude for how far you've come on my life’s journey. Despite what everybody else was thinking, I did it, thanks to looking at things in a different perspective and daring  to fly blind, trusting on other instincts then usual (bats). Well that card did ring a bell for me J. Then I drew three cards form the Legacy of the divine Tarot:

The Hanged man: That’s again one of those hits. Because this card also talks about looking at things from another point a view ,staying put for a while, to be in the moment and to think about the next move/direction.

The five of cups: I Know I've come to this point to keep my focus on the two filled cups. Although there was grief, there was also much to be thankful for. And I will keep those cups filled. Perhaps I’ll even get some new ones.

Seven of wands: Now  I’m strong enough to take care of myself, to stand up for my convictions. To defend my place in life.

I feel I am in sort of a limbo, a resting place. So I can gather my strength to make the next choices for myself and then I'll move forward in life again.

Gratitude makes me quiet

October 24: The first frost. A sign of winter, cold and stillness. What makes me quiet inside?

Druidcraft Tarot 

It’s still warm outside. There hasn't been any frost yet, but still I can wonder about how I get peace and quiet inside of me. Today we've got the four of wands of the Druidcraft Tarot. Usually it stands for celebration after  the work is done. But here the celebration is over; There’s little left of the bonfire. Everyone has gone back home. Since I’m not a party person, I like this moment of rest. Yes I do acknowledge that celebrating successes (and not only the large ones) is important, but the quietness after, the moment of nothing left to do is so wonderful. That’s when I truly can feel my thankfulness.

Yesterday was another gardening day, raking leaves, dispose of dead plants and so forth. Of course the most of it was done by my daughter but nevertheless the feeling of having this done is so good.

This morning I went for the first time to a physiotherapist who will teach me how to move properly without straining my neck so much. I've got exercises to do at home but it also involves a lot of changes. For instance I am now sitting straight up at the dinner table writing on my laptop instead of in my comfy chair. And OMG it feel so much better already.  I am typing this post without hardly any pain at all! I am so relieved and thankful. And that is another aspect of this card for me: being thankful for achievements. This is apparently a minor one but the impact for me is huge.

Nothing left to hide

October 23: The warm, beautiful colors of autumn trees can carry us away . But the colorful spectacle is also the harbinger of falling leaves and empty trees. They remind us of our mortality and the impermanence of things. How does autumn splendor affect me ?

Anna K Tarot

To help me answer this question I've got the six of swords from The Anna K Tarot. This deck is momentarily one of my main reading decks. For some reason it make me feel connected to the autumn season. In this card there’s not much left of the autumn splendor. The air is cold and gray. In the distance the island is veiled in fog. It feels more like November, the beginning of winter. For me this card has everything to do with transitions, searching for answers and spiritual quests. I am really drawn in to this particularly card. The blues, the grays, they get to me. The man and the woman have a lot to think about, to consider and that’s the reason they are going to a quiet place. The water near the island is calm and peaceful. A perfect place to put your mind at ease. It’s so important to take a step back before you make any decisions and changes. That moment of quiet and rest before taking action or putting your thoughts out there is precious. You take your swords with you  to polish, sharpen and clean but inevitable you have to come back and engage with whatever life is presenting you, (however tempting it could be to stay there).

And that’s what autumn splendor does to me: with a majestic grandeur it’s sweeping over the land, telling me to take is it slow, to turn inwards and to reflect over the past and coming year. I hardly could wait for summer to end. The first colored leaves were cheered with enthusiasm. Finally my season has arrived. And I know that each year after this splendor the real deal begins. The Samhain masks are smashed and feelings are exposed...that’s what it’s all about: Nothing left to hide 

We have an apple tree in our garden!

This morning I've been writing about bringing some knight of pentacles energy in my life. So this afternoon my daughter and I went to a garden center to buy ourselves an apple tree. This is the right season to plant trees. Of course my daughter did all the heavy work but we've been enjoying this event together very much.
So behold our tree and our harvest......

tree

harvest

Get my feet back on the ground

October 22: A windless days in October. Trees reflected in a pond. Heaven and earth are in a quiet balance. How do I find balance?

Universal Rider Waite Tarot

Today the Knight of pentacles will teach me what I need to know about finding my balance. At first sight he’s a dull boring guy sitting on his horse staring at his pentacle. Reliable, dependable, stubborn, all characteristics which aren't really exciting. And yet here he is, sitting on his farm horse watching the plowed and sown field and he is sure that everything will turn out fine; just the way he wants it. He’s proud of his work although nothing unexpected had occurred and no creativity was needed.

My steadfast champion. This is the guy I want to go to in times of imbalance. He grounds me literally. After having been floating some inches above the ground to long (meditating, tarot reading, writing, pondering and so forth) He pulls me down and puts me with my feet back on the ground. “Just do something tangible!”, he seems to shout at me.

Yesterday my youngest daughter was working in the garden; preparing it for the winter season. I wasn't able to help her but being outside, smelling the soil and the rotting leaves, just felt so immensely good. Yes I know being practical and getting things done is my way of balancing out the contemplative side of me. Although it is still difficult for me to actually do something I will figure out a way to get more involved in chores around the house. Even as simple for instance decluttering a drawer can be helpful. 

Tarot prompts from Mabon To Samhain (part 5)

These are the last prompt in this series. Have fun! Again, all credits go to Berthe van Soest.

October 23: The warm, beautiful colors of autumn trees can carry us away . But the colorful spectacle is also the harbinger of falling leaves and empty trees. They remind us of our mortality and the impermanence of things. How does autumn splendor affect me?

October 24: The first frost. A sign of winter, cold and stillness. What makes me quiet inside?

October 25: In the autumn hedgehogs do need  lots of food to build reserves for hibernation. In late November they go find a place to sleep. Which cozy warm place  can I make for myself now winter is coming?

October 26: In October it’s getting dark earlier. We make it cozy inside, lighting candles and we turn increasingly inward. What is center of my house?

October 27: When it’s slightly dark and the cold air is hazy and foggy you can get lost easily when you are walking in nature. How do I find my way home?

October 28: If a fallen leaf decays you can clearly see its veins. They form a dense network which has kept the leaf alive. What intricate network keeps me alive?

October 29: The falling leaves remind us of death and the afterlife. Does the soul keep on living after death and where does it go?

October 30: An angel on a tombstone, lovely flowers in a vase. A burning candle on a grave: there are all sort of ways and rituals to come to terms with death. What eases the pain of death for me?

October 31: Today it is Samhain. A day to celebrate and remember our beloved ones who have passed away. Name somebody you want to remember and pull a card on how you want to keep his/her memory alive.

Gonna catch a dream

October 21: Nights grow longer and we’re falling to sleep more easily because it’s getting colder. what are my dreams telling me?

Osho Zen Tarot

I am curious what the cards will tell me this time because I can hardly ever remember my dreams. A blur at the most, but mostly just nothing keeps lingering in my mind after I wake up in the morning.  

The three of Rainbows from the Osho Zen Tarot. This card is called Guidance. It depicts an angel guiding a woman who doesn’t watch where they are going. Is she not interested, is she afraid, or sad  for what she is leaving behind? A usual some may options so many questions.

I wonder if the reason I’m not remembering my dreams might be caused by an unconscious fear or sadness which I’m afraid to be reminded of in the morning.

Yes this woman is clearly hesitant to follow but I know, she , or rather I, really want to go with him. Perhaps it’s time to loosen up and give up my need for control. I mean if you can’t trust an angel then who can you trust. Who knows what wonders lie ahead for me if I go freely with this guide at night

Fly away

October 20: Maple seeds are hanging in pairs on the tree. They look like propellers. As they mature they split and are carried away by the wind. Where do I want the wind to take me?

Legacy of the Divine tarot

Yes! That’s a nice question for me: Let’s fly away! What do the cards have to say about that. I need Strength from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot. In this card the woman is a sensual as the cats in her company. Not an innocent maiden dressed in white. The cats as well as the woman are all a part of me. I identify the great beautiful cats as my inner turmoil; my selfish passions and desires, my shadow. The woman is my higher self, who has become one with her inner cat. She has touched each beast on its forehead and gives them a spark of enlightenment. And that settles it for me: No flying away today. I will fly away in my mind, in my creativity, in my writing, in my books but not physically. I have to control my urge to fly free because I want to take my responsibilities serious. Don’t get me wrong; I know I am where I’m supposed to be and I love with whom I am and where I am. But there's always that dreamy longing…. Perhaps another time or another life but not now, not yet.

Today I am going to do some serious journal writing in Dutch. Being rather absorbed by this blogging thing, I've neglected this passion of mine far too long. Sometimes I catch myself thinking in English J So I let the winds of my imagination carry me to where ever that will be ...

Share with love

October 19: The leaves on the vine are coloring yellow. The grape harvest is inside. The wine is bottled. What did I bottle this fall; what is my whine?

These questions are very helpful to reflect daily on where I am now, where do I come from and where do I want to go from here. Today another question about  my personal harvest. To help me answer this question, the queen of Pentacles from the Anna K Tarot  has made her appearance. An appropriate card I think.  All the pentacles of this deck have that earthy feel. In this card the queen doesn't seem as regal as in other decks. To me she looks more like a warm cuddly mother.(I even suspect she is pregnant; look at her left hand J) She’s content and satisfied; the harvest (but one) is over. The fruits are picked. All different kind of fruits are gathered In the baskets. There is something for everyone’s taste . And most of all there’s enough. She is the nurturer of the kingdom. She sees to it, with love and care, that every material need is met.

But what do all those baskets carry? what are the fruits I enjoy the most? which do I share and which are mine to keep?  As always tarot cards tend to raise more questions than give answers.

In any way I feel that it’s important to share my talents and goods with love and affection. I am very much a Hermit person. This Queen, as all queens, is all about letting things flow and prevent them from becoming stagnant.

So it is essential that I keep in mind that sharing with others is  fulfilling, healing comforting and healthy

My eldest daughter is baking red velvet cupcakes. She will be our queen of pentacles today. Yummy! J

Don't worry be happy!

October 18: Today is the feast day of St. Luke, the evangelist. Luke describes remarkably healing miracles in his gospel. Probably he was a doctor. Who or what can heal me?

 Universal Waite Tarot

Again a question from a more Catholic approach but nevertheless worthwhile to think about from whatever angle you consider it.

What does healing mean to me. It is so much more than being cured from a psychical illness or discomfort. For me healing goes deeper. Healing touches your hart and your soul. Perhaps in English it is all the same but for me there is a slight difference. So what or who can heal me. Let’s draw a card…..The six of wands. Mmm, not exactly the soothing healing card I had hoped for. But after some consideration I've realized that the suit of wands is just the kind of healing I need. Being active is the best way to quiet down a worrying, anxious mind. And since I've had too much time to sit around and do nothing (except brooding and worrying  and so forth.J), being active should be a very healthy thing for me now. I am happy to say that I experience slightly less pain than a week ago so I keep my fingers crossed this will keep getting better these coming days. The six of wands also emphasizes to celebrate what you have achieved; you successes. I have to remember that, because I tend to forget being proud of the things I do in a day. For instance I've been doing groceries with my daughter this morning. It seems so normal, but it isn't. To be able to do  this again is something to be happy about. And  being happy is the best healing medicine there is! 

Little gnomes come to the rescue

October 17: Fly agarics remind us of gnomes. In fairy tales gnomes are little helpers. They shine shoes and clean our houses. What do I need a gnome for?

Crystal Visions Tarot

The first thing that comes to mind is my wish that they were real. My god(dess), my house needs some serious cleaning. I think a whole family of gnomes could be kept busy here. But since I’m not  into slavery (Free the Gnomes!) I ask them for just one favor:

Please be there for me if I’m in an eight of wands situation.

Although the eight of wands from The Crystal Visions Tarot is the most beautiful I have ever seen so far, it is still not one of my favourite cards. It`s always giving me a feel of anxiety. Everything is going to fast and I would be afraid to loose control. It isn’t strange this card is also connected to falling in Love.  Since that’s certainly not the case with me I see more the amount of unicorns galloping of the mountain as an endlessly growing todo list with lot’s of priority marks. I would like to be helped with  my scheduling and finishing projects so I can check my boxes J

Or for instance, this card could also represent my clutter falling down the stairs of the attic and every single item is asking me: “Do you still want me? Where do you want me to go?" And so forth. I could use some help with that either.

Yes I definitely don’t like this card. I’m thinking of to may stresfull chaotic things now. Help! J

It’s okay to ask for help

October 16: It is said that on the feast day of Saint Teresa the mosquitoes that have plagued us all summer with their buzz and itchy bumps have died.  What has plagued me last summer, and will no longer tease me now?

This morning my daughter and I have received a package in the mail with four oracle decks! We’ve bought them secondhand online for less than half the retail price. After some bickering and bargaining, she’s got the Shapeshifters oracle and the Magical fairies oracle, and I've got the Angel daily guidance oracle and the Magical mermaids and dolphins oracle. I've always wanted to buy one or two Doreen Virtue oracles. What they miss in layered and in depth meanings they compensate on a high level with their feel good vibe. I’ve once said to Magic Mentha: “Often when I pull comforting cards I sigh, and relax instantly just by seeing them”

Angel daily guidance oracle, Magical mermaids and dolphins oracle

Today I have to admit they can also bring some really spot on messages to the table. From the Magical mermaids and dolphins oracle I've got:  Accept Heaven's Help

"You've prayed for help, so get out of the way and let Heaven help you"

And from the Angel daily guidance oracle I've pulled: Listen

"Quiet your mind, Beloved One, and listen to our gentle reassurance that everything has been taken care of. Stay in a quiet and receptive state, without worrying about the exact nature of your desire's manifestation. A quiet mind and body hears us quickly and clearly. This is our request to you : Listen.

Lately I've developed a persona/mask of the strong woman who can do everything herself: I don’t need help.  A month ago my body resisted this notion and gave me a neck hernia. Okay, I've got it: I do need help. With this hernia suddenly I had a lot of time on my hands to think an ponder about what it is I want and desire most in my life. The cards have taught me that you can’t force this process but rather I have to let it unfold in its own time.

And then I've drawn these two cards and I feel loved and supported. Again the cards tell me not to worry about me finding my greatest desire. Instead they urge me to meditate and listen. And also I realize that spiritually I don’t have to do everything by myself either. There are helping energies around us. I firmly believe that. Whether you call them angels or something else. it is okay to admit you need help sometimes.

A thing called Love

October 15: Teresa of Avila is a mystic of the sixteenth century. Today is her feast day. Theresia had intimate contact with God. In what way do you and the Divine interact?

Crystal Visions Tarot

Since the original writer of these prompts is a Catholic, we have another saint to flavor this prompt. Of course I have my own perception of the Divine and that’s definitely not Catholic. The Sun card from the Crystal Visions Tarot will emphasize that. Unlike other Sun cards where a naked child is depicted, here we see a woman cradling an infant which is wrapped in her robe. She is showing it the sunflowers so patiently, as if they were the only two people in the world. The white horse of this sun child is waiting nearby. They have nowhere to go yet. It is just the two of them being as one in this everlasting moment.

And that says it all. Communicating with the Divine is for me the feeling of being one with everything around me and beyond. At the same time it is like feeling held and loved and cared for and being very close to my Mother. I don’t have to ask for anything because she knows what  I need. I am just grateful for and happy with everything she’s giving me. I think that’s Love…

Climb every mountain

October 14: The last hazelnuts are harvested. The Hazel symbolizes wisdom, secret knowledge and divination. Forked hazel branches were used for dowsing to find underground water. What do I want find out or get to know?

Oracle of Shadows and Light

To answer this I'v got the Lantern Fairy from the Oracle of Shadows and Light by Lucy Cavendish. This fairy is supposed to shed some light over this question. At first glance a great card to give an answer to whatever you want to know. You think she might have the answer but she doesn't. She only carries a lantern to lighten your way. When you think you are standing with you back against the wall and  you don’t know a way out, she knows where obstacles are less dangerous, where the hole in the wall can be found.  She will guide you through you inner darkness but she won’t tell you what you want to know because life lessons have life answers which can only be given by yourself.

Lo Scarabeo Oracle

And because I’m sometimes a little stubborn, I wasn't really pleased with this reading. I wanted more! I wanted answers! So I pulled three cards from my Lo Scarabeo oracle. And those cards made me laugh: book(26)+mountain(21)+sun(31). Sometimes there is no shortcut in life. The book is closed. The answers are still hidden, but when you’ll climb the mountain (guided by the fairy with that shining lantern) you’ll have experiences along the way that will let your inner light shine over the content of your book.

Tarot prompts from Mabon To Samhain (part 4)

These are the prompts for the next seven days. Have fun! Again, all credits go to Berthe van Soest.

October 15: Teresa of Avila is a mystic of the sixteenth century. Today is her feast day. Theresia had intimate contact with God. In what way do you and the Divine interact?

October 16: It is said that on the feast day of Saint Teresa the mosquitoes that have plagued us all summer with their buzz and itchy bumps have died.  What has plagued me last summer, and will no longer tease me now?

October 17: Fly Agarics remind us of gnomes. In fairy tales gnomes are little helpers. They shine shoes and clean our houses. What do I need a gnome for?                                           

October 18: Today is the feast day of St. Luke, the evangelist. Luke describes remarkably healing miracles in his gospel. Probably he was a doctor. Who or what can heal me?

October 19: The leaves on the vine are coloring yellow. The grape harvest is inside. The wine is bottled. What did I bottle this fall; what is my whine?

October 20: Maple seeds are hanging in pairs on the tree. They look like propellers. As they mature they split and are carried away by the wind. Where do I want the wind to take me?

October 21: Nights grow longer and we’re falling to sleep more easily because it’s getting colder. what are my dreams telling me?

October 22: A windless days in October. Trees reflected in a pond. Heaven and earth are in a quiet balance. How do I find balance?

Wisdom at the crossroads

October 13: The Greek goddess Hecate belongs to this time of year. Hecate was associated with passages and crossroads. Nature is at a her crossroad. Hecate gives wisdom, courage and strength. What wisdom do I need at my crossroads?

Druidcraft Tarot

The princess of Cups from The Druidcraft tarot. She is a lovely sweet girl full of dreams and fantasies. She is looking in the cup or she has her eyes closed and is pondering on it. Whatever she does, she’s okay with it. With her bare feet (big ones) firmly on the ground, she is one of the most earthed pages of cups I know. The tree behind her is letting go of her leaves, which connects this card to Fall; a time of release and change.

Dreams and desires appear to become a theme in my daily draws. I think I will take her example and try to meditate more regularly. (Without being harsh when I skip a day J) And while doing so, I’ll try to let go the desperate search for my heart’s desire. Because when I pursue this to strong it might  flee.

I want to release the impatience and letting my heart‘s desire, find me in its own time. I just have to open up in order to receive and in the meantime I’m enjoying where I am: moment by moment by moment…….

Filling the well

October 12: These days the sweet chestnuts are falling from the trees. Poor people were fed by those trees for free. Who or what will provide for me?

The Enchanted Map Oracle

At first sight this card doesn't look very hopeful. It’s Dry Desert from The Enchanted Map Oracle made by Colette Baron Reid. There’s a woman walking in the desert with nothing there but two cactus's and one bird. She is alone there, so who will provide for her. Should she eat from the cactus? Then it hit me. She’s standing tall and confident, her head held high: She is the one who will provide for herself in times of need. This is one of those “Aha” moments you get sometimes when you’re reading cards.

Then I opened the little guidebook and I read:

Dig deep for inspiration and truth. Now is the time to become resilient and adaptable. Is your life presenting you with opportunities that seem to yield nothing? Have your ideas dried up? Does it feel like you’re on an endless journey through a dry, hot, lifeless desert? This card reminds you that there are times when you are meant to become resilient as you journey through harsher circumstances. You’re being required to conserve your energy – until, after consistent effort, you reach the oasis you’re searching for. Consider the creatures that live in these conditions: they have adapted to thrive in spite of the outer environment. In a desert, water, essential for life, can be found deep underground. Go deep within yourself now…find your truth there. Let Spirit sustain you while you locate the real source. Whatever it is you’re asking about will not be found in the conditions you’re in until you move past the surface of things and choose to do the real work and discover the answers deep within you. This may not seem like the most productive time but looks are deceiving. This is a most important place to find what is truly right for you.

So it all comes down to this: I have to take care of myself in times of need. Inside me I have resources not yet discovered. To stay in the scenery of this card there is a well inside where I can drink and be filled with strength and intuition which will guide me to the meadow, the forest, to anywhere but here

I’ve been in the desert several times already but never it was so dry and barren as last time. Although I didn’t know it at the time those inner resources have pulled me through. Now I know that every time you’re in the desert you learn and adapt to survive and you become more flexible and resilient and your higher self knows that there’s always an oasis to be found.

Today I’m going to fill my inner well with some meditation and reading. You never know when you’ll need it. My daughters boyfriend is making coffee; for now he provides for me. J

A beautiful autumn bouquet

This afternoon me and my daughters had to do some shopping and I also wanted to give myself something to celebrate all that I've accomplished this last couple of weeks. But instead I'v got from them another beautiful bouquet. This one was made with flowers in autumn colours. It was such kind and sweet gesture J

Putting some of my desires to rest.

October 11: October is the time to plant bulbs. Plant the bulbs about six weeks before the first frost. In that way the root system can build up sufficient structure before it really gets cold. What can I put to rest in the earth so it may root during the cold winter?

The seven of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. Usually this card stands for fantasies, illusions, daydreaming and that sort of things. For me today, this card makes me think of something slightly different.  I've had this card in my Inner sun reading. There I had asked myself: “and what is the one desire I want the most? Do I dare to look into that?” Now it seems as if the guy in the card has moved on a little bit. He has chosen finally his favorite cup which is standing beside him on the rocks.

And what to do with the other six cups? “Put them to rest in the earth so they may root in the winter” When I shift to my daily reality I translate this to releasing my other, less pressing desirers and see if they will develop their intensity over time; do I keep  mulling over them or do I completely forget about them?. Do they root or do they perish into oblivion. The main issue for me is, the guy in the picture has chosen his cup but I’m am still not so sure about mine. The advice however I get from these readings is a sound one. So I’ll meditate on this a while longer

Help I‘m haunted by a tarot card!

October 10:  At this time the birds are migrating. The birds fly high above the ground and see a lot. What gives me a wide field of vision?

Rider Waite Tarot

Well what do you know:  Today I've got the Eight of Swords; Again!!! Whatever deck I choose there she is again! Even when I use my trusty, Rider Waite deck. This deck was the first to introduce me to the wondrous world of tarot. And it still has a special place in my heart. But let’s get down to business. How do I get from this restricting place to somewhere, where I can have a wide field of vision. First I have to get rid of that f*cking blindfold and loosen my ties, Then I turn around, walk between the eight swords and away from the muddy ground. After a stroll along the seashore I reach the mountain, which I have to climb. Then, probable with soar feet, I arrive at the castle, climb the stairs to find a man holding a globe and a wand. I ask him what is doing there and he answers: “I have found a wild field of vision.”

So taking that example, today I am going to focus on all the possibilities I still have to enjoy myself and keep myself busy. This will be a lot healthier then playing a pity party because I have neck problems. So instead of focusing on the problem I am going search for the solutions with a broad perspective J

The Inner Sun Spread

This is a spread I've found at “First Earth Tarot”; the blog of Olivia Destrades.

Yesterday I pulled the Sun for answering the question; what do I need the sun for. I thought it was a good idea to do this spread now. I've used the Crystal Visions Tarot. Also I incidentally switched the north/south and east/west positions but never the less  for me the outcome is the same J 

1 Me now – The tower. There he is again.  In this spread I want to focus on the gulls who are flying away from the crumbling tower. Me, trying to fly high and free, but also searching for a safe place to land.

2 The Gifts I have to share – The ace of cups. I am glad to say I can share a lot of love nowadays, because I´m learning to love myself.

3 The gifts I am still developing – The Fool. That card made me laugh. Yes I like to be more spontaneous, less swordy all the time. Just to try something new without fear or worries would be fun

4 My deepest desires – Seven of Cups. I want a lot. And I honestly think I am worth it, but I always hesitate, because I don’t seem to know what I really, really want. And what is the one desire I want the most? Do I dare to look into that?

5 Advice for manifesting my desires – Page of swords. I like that guy; Swordy but not so strict. I think he will help me to choose my heart’s desire and  to ignore the fluttering thoughts in my mind, so I can focus on manifesting one desire at the time.

To round up this reading for myself I pulled laguz the rune of deep waters and intuition. Yes, when I have to figure out my heart’s desire then my page and I could use some intuition J

All you need is love

October 9: A large oak tree can grow from a small acorn. Acorns symbolize the harvest of projects that need a long time to bear fruit. What takes a long time for me to bear fruit?

Druidcraft Tarot

My card for today is the Ace of cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. Not the most easy card for me but definitely a beautiful card. Always when I see this card I think: “my cup runneth over”. I wish it was. The Ace of cups is all about love; all sorts of love. But when your cup keeps pouring love there must be a source inside that keeps the flow going. And strangely that source is the same love. I used to think the more love you get, the more you have to give. But when one of my main sources of love was cut off, my cup didn't run over any more. After a long process of grief and healing acceptance, I've learned that it isn't the more you get, the more you can give. But instead, the more you give, the more you have. For you cannot give what isn't already there.  The second thing was that loving myself is as valid as being loved by somebody else. So gradually my spring of love is coming to life again. Now I realize it will be a lifetime of tending and caring for this strong and yet so fragile flowing cup. And my harvest? A lifetime of drinking and sharing from that same cup.

Let the sunshine in

October 8: Some days in October are sunny. What do I need he sun for, before the beginning of winter?

Anna K Tarot

Out of all cards, I've pulled The Sun From the Anna K Tarot! What are the odds! This card has just the sun depicted: No child, horse or what so ever. Just a warm blazing sun shining on a beautiful field of sunflowers and some houses in the distance. Although I don’t like to be in the sun during the midst of summer, these days I enjoy its warmth and light while I can. With a book in garden or walking my dog. It’s like I want to soak up the last rays of sunshine before the dark winter begins. And with those rays every other positive shining aspect of this card; For me The Sun is mostly about the self: self respect, self awareness and self love. When you develop all these things, in the end that will lead to unselfishness: letting go of ego’s desires. It’s of course also a card about joy and happiness, optimism and hope, success and growth. I think everything positive can be represented by The Sun. So what does this all mean for me? I am going to focus on enjoying myself, doing the things that make me happy and in that way gathering the light of this radiant sun in my heart. So It can be my guide during the dark cold winter days.

Picking our berries

October 7: The grapes, apples and pears are harvested. What can I look back to with satisfaction? What is my harvest of the last season?

Crystal Visions Tarot

That will be the Six of pentacles from the Crystal Visions tarot. It’s a very appropriate card for this question. The girl is picking berries while the birds are helping her and in turn getting their share of the harvest. The total vibe of this card is gentle and every creature is kind of equal. Here is no needy dependency that you see in many other depictions of the six of pentacles. Six beautiful pentacles are hanging in the tree waiting to be picked. My harvest (not only of last season) is that I have raised two beautiful daughters who have become loving caring young women. The three of us are living together only for a short while, because the eldest is going to live with her boyfriend any time soon now. So I am very grateful that we still have some time together. Although I encourage her independency, I’ll miss her a lot. So now is the time we can still enjoy each other’s company. Looking after each other, help one another, listen and advise each other, talk and laugh together. Just get the most out of it in those last few months. The last sentence of this post is not my own. I found it somewhere on the internet but I don’t remember where…

”Life is an endless exchange of resources, knowledge, nurture and skill. There is a time to talk and a time to listen, a time to lead and a time to follow, a time to care for others, and a time to be cared for.” 

Tarot prompts from Mabon to Samhain (part 3)

These are the prompts for the next seven days. Have fun! Again, all credits go to Berthe van Soest.

October 8: Some days in October are sunny. What do I need the sun for, before the beginning of winter?

October 9: A large oak tree can grow from a small acorn. Acorns symbolize the harvest of projects that need a long time to bear fruit. What takes a long time for me to bear fruit?

October 10: At this time the birds are migrating. The birds fly high above the ground and see a lot. What gives me a wide field of vision?

October 11: October is the time to plant bulbs. Plant the bulbs about six weeks before the first frost. In that way the root system can build up sufficient structure before it really gets cold. What can I put to rest in the earth so it may root during the cold winter?

October 12: These days the sweet chestnuts are falling from the trees. Poor people were fed by those trees for free. Who or what will provide for me?

October 13: The Greek goddess Hecate belongs to this time of year. Hecate was associated with passages and crossroads. Nature is at a her crossroad. Hecate gives wisdom, courage and strength. What wisdom do I need at my crossroad?

October 14: The latest hazelnuts are harvested. The Hazel symbolizes wisdom, secret knowledge and divination. Forked hazel branches were used for dowsing to find underground water. What do I want find out or get to know?

Steady as she goes

October 6: When the Rowan berries go red, summer has come to an end. These berries are said to have protective properties. Put some in a vase in your home and ask yourself: What needs protection in my life?

 Unfortunately I was not in the opportunity to pick some Rowan berries, but I have this picture on my desktop right now. It’s all about the intent!

Legacy of the Divine tarot

My card for this beautiful Sunday in October is the Six of Swords from the Legacy of the Divine tarot. I prefer this Six of Swords above the Rider Waite version. In this card the woman is standing tall and looking ahead, her heart filled with anticipation. All around her are swords: rising up out of the deep waters and dangling over her head. She seems unafraid of what is lying ahead. In full trust of her  ferry man who is proficient in navigating their boat. I know that I am both the woman and the ferry man.  I see the dark area they’re in as my own inner being. I am searching, for a place with no dangerous swords to be cautious for. I need  a place to rest now. But although I am perceived as being in control an independent, I think I need to give my animus, my male side more freedom to take over and be determent and in charge so that I can rest for a while and give my always busy head some peace of mind. So today will not be about feeling guilty that I couldn't visit my husband but…. about reading, blogging, drinking coffee and enjoying the sunshine.