Six of Swords – leaving my cawing crows behind

The last fourteen days have been a Swordy situation. Anyone who is a bit familiar with  tarot, knows this can vary from having enlightening revelations to being haunted by repetitive self defeating thoughts.  I had so many great plans for this period but not much has come to fruition. They are still floating around in my mind trying to make me feel guilty for not carrying them out.

Luckily I’ve managed to ignore them for now and I am glad to say that, although I am not very active yet, I do feel a lot better.

Swords cards are coming up regularly for me, especially the Six of Swords in combination with the Nine or the Ten. Also the Page is paying me a visit very frequently.  I mainly pull from the Shadowscapes Tarot. It is a gentle soothing deck but it doesn’t shy away from the harder lessons. The soft color palette reminds me of the coming Spring and the grey border resembles that touch of frost we don’t seem to get rid of here.

For today again I drew the Six of Swords. I love the depiction of the strong and nurturing  Swan,carrying the woman on her back between her wings out of a hopeless situation. All of her thoughts have turned black but her Swan is still radiant white, which is a promising prospect indeed.  Although I don’t know yet where I am going, I trust it is going to be a good place.

Also I want to thank you all for your lovely and heartfelt comments on my latest post. You’ve  all been so supportive.

Hugs Ellen

Resting in Her Embrace

With this card I want to let you all know, I am taking some time off from blogging and Instagram. Now my eldest girl and her boyfriend have moved out, after having lived with us for two and half month, I feel the need to take some time for myself to rest and reinvent myself. Feelings about this event are mixed up and there is an empty space waiting to be filled with more than distractions and escaping from the present moment.

I have so many ideas and so many plans and nothing is happening but watching TV series, playing games on my tablet and surfing on the internet. My three screens are making overtime. Posting pictures on IG and writing for my blog which I enjoy so much are starting to feel like to-do’s which I want to tick off, so I can feel good about it.

So for now, I just want to rest and do nothing besides reading some fiction, baking, walking, riding my bike, painting, writing in my journal etc. I’m not quite sure how long it will take. Trust, Letting go and Attention; these where my three words for this 2016. Maybe now it is the time to put them into action

Hugs Ellen

Queen of Cups - Sometimes kindness is overrated

Today’s; card is the Queen of Cups from the Shadowscapes Tarot. I’ve drawn this with the following question in mind: “What old beliefs are no longer true about myself?” This question is part of the IG Challenge about Self love. 

I felt a bit disappointed when I got the Queen of Cups. I do like her a lot and I don’t pull her often, so when she was to represent an outdated belief about myself, I was rather flabbergasted. But then it dawned on me. This message was about my belief that I always have to be caring and loving, creative and intuitive, emphatic and spiritual connected to be worthy of love. Because all those things are the result of self improvement, of listening to God(des) of being the best version me, I could be. But truthfully I am not. I am not that kind and caring and all those other things. Sometimes I am selfish and moody. I can be so angry and even cruel. Does this mean I don’t listen to my inner voice or God(dess); that I am not improving myself. No it means I am only human, worthy of a never ceasing Self Love. Because on the cold and clouded rainy days I deserve to be loved and cared for even more by myself that on the sunny days.