Flooded with memories all over again

This week I am working with  a “card of the week”, namely the Five of Cups. I am not quite sure if this was such a  wise experiment. Although I do not believe this card was a foreboding  to a depressing week, I do think it is possible to be influenced by the energy of this card.

And so after working a few days with the Five of Cups I think I was rather susceptible for a not so pleasant mood swing caused by some family matters. I felt rather down and I didn’t feel like doing anything at all. I wasn’t planning to blog today either  but then I pulled “Remembrance” from The Gaia Oracle and when I read the guidebook, I knew this was the perfect card for me today and I felt called to write this post anyway. The keywords of this card are: Resurfacing of past feelings and emotions.

And a very fitting part from the guidebook is: “This card signifies that past feelings and emotions are resurfacing from deep within you and you may find yourself on an emotional roller coaster over the coming days. Do not fight it, this is all fine. It is important to occasionally remember and honor your past, for it is part of you and part of your soul’s journey.”

Now this is exactly how I felt these past two days. Sometimes memories come flooding back and can overwhelm  you and although the first instinctual reaction might be to run away to safe and higher grounds,  there is actually nothing to be afraid of. They are just memories and yes they can cause grief and pain again and again but this experience also signifies that you are not done with them yet. Each time when you get washed over by these memories, it will be different and  perhaps a little bit less scary. And remember the waves always will bring you back to the seashore again, where you can bask in the sunlight to dry up and warm yourself….. and rest

Affirmation:

 “I bless my past and I am grateful for every experience,

for every experience has helped me expand my understanding of love.

My life is forever unfolding as it should; the past, the present and the future are one.

I honor and respect my feelings and emotional, for they are part of my story.”

Reflection - Illusion, Self-examination, Distortion

Today’s card is Reflection from The Gaia Oracle by Toni Salerno. I like that it fits perfectly with the full moon tonight. This card is all about looking around you and determine how your physical reality reflects your inner turmoil. Now this makes me chuckle. Cards can have a grim kind of humor too. While I am typing this, my back is really killing me. Somehow I must have done something stupid and I can’t remember what or when but it hurts like h*ll.  This prevents me from doing the things I love most, like writing and drawing etc. So this is the perfect time for reflection while I sit, lie down or walk sequentially for short periods of time.

“Observe your thoughts and feeling throughout the day and make a note of negative or unconstructive thoughts and feelings. This practice, over time, will in itself help heal and restore balance to your life.”

This card urges me not to just skim the surface but to be brave enough to go deeper and to journal about it but I will limit myself to short notes for now. So now I am going off for my stroll around the block to loosen up the muscles and do some "serious" reflecting!

“My heart is full of love and light

All is well in my world

I feel the peace within me and this creates peace around me

I observe all I think and feel

Each negative thought or feeling is automatically transformed to love” 

First and Last Tag

This post is inspired by Kelly from The Truth in a Story.  After a lot of us have participated in Chloe’s tag: 3x3x3 divination, she has started her own tag about our first and last tarot and oracle deck and other divination systems which don’t involve cards. So let’s start with the last part of this tag: 

Other forms of divination

Sixteen years ago I’ve made my runes using ordinary pebbles. Tarot wasn’t in the picture yet. I felt I should work with runes because they were part of my ancestral heritage.  Also you have only 24 runes  and 78 tarot cards. So the decision was very easy at the time.

This is my first and my last divination set other then tarot or oracles. Although I have  become a fervent collector of card decks, I have never felt the need to try out other forms of divination beside my runes

Tarot decks

My very first tarot deck was a pocket version of the Rider Waite Tarot, which has softer color tones than the yellow box Rider Waite. I remember taking it with me on a holiday. I tried to read and understand the guidebook but all it did was confuse me and I didn’t want to unwrap the cards because I was so afraid to pull the Death card before we traveled home. Who know what powers this deck could have…???

When we were safely at home again I bought a book from Hajo Banzhaf which opened the doors for me to more in depth tarot studies

My last Tarot deck is the Wild unknown Tarot.  Although I only have this deck for about  five weeks it has already become one of my favorites.  It amazes me each time how these pen drawings with a touch of color can evoke such deep feelings and so much meaning. I also love how well it works together with my Runes. A wonderful match between a first and a last

Oracle decks

My first oracle deck was the Dutch version of the Goddess Guidance Oracle deck. I wanted to work with some of the depicted goddesses and needed representations on my altar.  At the time I thought I had to pick this deck very carefully because I had no intention to buy any more oracle decks. It was gifted to by M about four years ago.

My last oracle deck is the Gaia Oracle. Again the  Dutch version and again because I want to use it to explore the Divine Feminine. Lately I have been very interested in Germanic goddesses. Like Holda and Freya. I’ve discovered there is so much more to them than what you read in most  books. This is also true for Erda, Eartha, the personification of Earth (Aarde in Dutch). She is similar to Gaia, so working with this deck is a great way to relate to her and other goddesses.

I have really enjoyed this tag very much. It has brought back  a lot of memories and it was fun to see how much ideas about divination can change over the years.

Intuitive Communication - Silent Whispers of the Heart

For today I’ve drawn Intuitive Communication - Silent Whispers of the Heart from the Gaia Oracle by Toni Salerno. This is actually my second attempt of writing this post because my laptop managed to shut down Word without prompting me to save the Doc I was working on. You can imagine I didn’t whisper then.

Any way in this depiction we see a woman kissing a tree and while doing so making a connection with the heart, the source of life of this tree. And in turn the tree enfolds her in waves of his energy. 

This card encourages us to become silent. We don’t always have to sit down to meditate in order to find those still moments in a day. We can be working in our garden, riding our bike, washing the dishes or taking a stroll, as long as our mind is quieting down. Often it is even easier for me to be still when I am not meditating but doing something relaxing. As if my mind objects against  this practice of meditation and gets even louder than usual. It is almost as if I have to trick myself into listening to my inner voice.

So these spontaneous quiet moments are great for listening to your intuition, to this little voice, to whatever you name your gut feeling. For that is what it is most of the time: a feeling. I’ve always wondered  how do you hear that inner voice? Well this card tells us it is a silent whisper, a feeling, a flutter but never the less it is there and you have to be ever so mindful to catch it, cherish it and to listen to it with all your heart and most importantly: to trust it!

Affirmation from the guidebook:

I focus on my inner world . . .

I am one with all creation. . . .

All is energetically connected. . . .

I trust my intuition. . . .

My awareness expands through love.

Peace –Bathing in Sunlight

My card for today is Peace- dissolving unwanted or disturbing thoughts from the Gaia Oracle by Toni Salerno.

Here we see a radiant sun, painted in mostly orange and yellow with a touch of green symbolizing the illuminated Earth. This warmth, this light is so precious to the soul.  No wonder the Sun has been a symbol for Divinity since a long as we can remember.

The Sun itself is the center of everything, while its rays burn away our worries and outdated obstructing thought patterns. This card invites us to take the time to find our own center and reconnect with our spiritual sun, our Divine spark. The most commonly used practice to do this is also the most difficult to maintain.  And yet it is through mediation we can learn to let go and stop clinging to our thoughts as if they are the only thing that really matters. When we will let our thoughts go like clouds in the wind, the sun will come out again and will start shining bright.

Literally: Finally Summer is here! The sun is shining so brightly today and I am going to enjoy it while it lasts

Sacred Heart – A new Project, a new Oracle Deck.

My card for today is Sacred Heart - Passion, Love, Spiritual Communion, from the Gaia Oracle by Toni Salerno. We see a beautiful crimson red heart in the center of this card. The heart is burning with passion and desire but it is not consumed by it. It is perfectly balanced between the sun and the earth. It has exposed itself fearlessly to the radiant fiery sunrays and at the same time it is deeply rooted into the earth. This is causing the perfect centering of the heart.

This card is all about following your passion, doing the things you love most, without being afraid of failure. Trusting Spirit will keep you motivated and  inspired to express yourself creatively.

Yesterday I’ve gifted myself the Dutch version of the Gaia Oracle. I’ve bought it because I love the artwork and the warm color tones. Also I want to use it to for a more in depth exploration of the Divine Feminine. I love it that Toni Salerno has depicted the men and women in this deck not too detailed so we can veil them with our own perception of divinity.

I will be using this oracle also on my Dutch blog: “Tarot bij de Koffie”. A few days ago I’ve  written, after a very long time, a post for this blog again. I think I am going to do this regularly without neglecting  “Greylady’s Hearth”, which feels so like home to me. Writing has always been a passion of mine. I could live without making art but my life would feel incomplete without writing. Writing in Dutch allows me to flow just a bit more than writing in English. Less searching for words or looking for phrases. Besides wording my thoughts, writing an English post is sometimes also a bit like solving a puzzle. J

I’ve put a tab for “Tarot bij de Koffie” at the top of this blog and if you like to pay me a visit there you are always welcome.