New moon in Januari

For this new moon, I have pulled one card from the Thoth Tarot as to what energy I should embrace during this next cycle of the Moon and I got The Hanged Man. Some of its keywords are: rigidity, ending of a stagnated situation, new ways of looking at things, letting go of old behavioral patterns.  This hanged man has nowhere to go. There is now way to escape his situation. His eyes are closed, blind for everything which doesn’t align with his point a view. He is totally disconnected from his intuition and heart centered wisdom.

Yet, since there is no way out the only forward is to go within.  Only then will the snake wake up and rise from the dark grave. Then the Hanged Man can find freedom from past convictions and behavior. It is there  and then that he can undergo a profound transformation. He can free himself from the need of being always right and in control. If he can let go of these rigid ways of thinking he will set himself free and become a different person altogether.

It’s is a lot for one lunation but I am not surprised this card has comes up for me (again). If I will be able to only touch the surface of this card during the next four weeks I will be thankful and content. Habitual patterns created over many years are usually not discarded in a few weeks.

Affirmation: “I will let go of my need to be in control all the time and realize that life will present itself moment by moment”

Eight of Coins - Strengthening my Attention span

Today’s card is the Eight of Coins from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot. We see a man studying the designs he has made for his coins. There is something not entirely right and he doesn’t seem to be able to pinpoint it as of yet.  He is however determined to create the perfect coins and he isn’t likely to give up.

I envy this craftsman’s perseverance, and ability to focus on a project for as long as he needs to bring it to perfection or at least to finish it. When I was younger my ability to concentrate was so much stronger. Nowadays my focus is much more fragmented. Reading for hours, studying a subject until I have discovered all the nitty-gritty details, seems to be qualities that I no longer possess.  And to be quite frank, I miss it. Oh, I do get things done and I am still able to learn new things but it feels different.  Somehow, I also believe this isn’t only caused by my aging but also by the diverting aspect of the internet. I mean the days when I went to the library to study are long gone. Reading a book from A to Z, because it was the only source of information you can find feels like ages ago.

Today this card encourages me to practice my ability to focus; to set small achievable goals as reading two chapters from my book instead of one and to diminish my screen time. Small steps….

Night Song – Here goes nothing

Yesterday evening I pulled Nightsong – Hidden Talents from the Halloween Oracle and this morning I decided I wanted to write about this card instead of pulling another one. We see a beautiful red colored bird sitting on a branch at night just before he is going to burst into song. Because it is quite rare for birds to sing at night, it was often seen as a bad omen.  But for the more positive minded people, it could be a sign of good fortune too. A bird singing at night could also be considered to be “able to direct us towards discovering our talents and true purpose – a kind of guide in the darkness leading us to the dawn.”

This got me thinking about my own hidden talents and I couldn’t come up with anything. Of course, I know I can draw and write but that’s nothing new. This card is about the hidden talents. Then I thought:  “Let’s draw some more cards about it” and I drew three cards for three talents. (Perhaps a bit presumptuous?) The cards were quite positive but still, it didn’t feel right and I went to bed and stopped thinking about it. This morning when I saw the Nightsong card again, little by little it dawned on me because now I realize you cannot go searching for hidden talents or draw cards to reveal them.  No, you have to do the work or better said you have to start playing with the mindset of “Here goes nothing”, just like when we were children.  If I had never picked up crayons and paper when I was a child, I would have never have discovered I had a talent for drawing and painting. Somehow along the way, a lot of us have lost the open-mindedness of a child to try out new things without expectations. And now, as adults we seem to walk in darkness, frantically searching for our authentic self. Perhaps if we would try to relax and enjoy playing and experimenting more, then who knows what treasures we might find, hidden in some dark unexplored corner of our soul.

Eight of Grails – Facing our despair

Today’s card is the Eight of Grails from the Tarot of Vampyres.  This is a card of inevitable endings; of leaving the murky waters of stagnant and even sometimes venomous emotions and feelings. 

The vampire lord is wading through the foggy swamps of his unconscious, still unable to fathom how he could lose his way entirely. He knows he has to get out of here but isn’t entirely sure which way to go. Luckily he still has some time to get his bearings because he is wearing a mask which will protect him for a while longer from the poisonous gasses.

I think we all have been in this kind of situation. Often it seems that the most difficult part is to decide enough is enough and something has to change. We need to save ourselves or we need to reach out to someone who will help us.

But in my experience, something has to happen before we can make this decision. When we are in an emotional crisis we tend to run away from everything which triggers our feelings of despair. We keep busy, distracted, and we numb ourselves. Everything goes as long as we don’t have to feel what is crying out to us just beneath the surface of our consciousness. To hear this, and acknowledge there is something troubling us very deeply, we have to become silent, journey inwards and face our feelings, how sad and painful they may be. Only then we can start making a change towards the nine of Grails: a place where our wishes will come true again. Then we will be able to find joy and happiness and follow that soft voice of our intuition. Yes, then we are moving forward again. 

The Devil – Please wake me up!

Today’s card is Cernunnos, The Devil, from the Druidcraft Tarot. The two figures from The Lovers are in a deep sleep, probably dreaming of their sensual encounter in that card. 

Cernunnos, The God of the wild hunt and the underworld, is watching them, curious, if or when they will wake up. He is not evil or holding them captive against their will. He is just observing if those two can manage to embrace the material aspects of life without becoming addicted to them. As everything and always in life, this is a fine line to walk:  too much will often lead to addiction and obsession but too little can bring about disgust for everything physical. Both excesses are prone to cause a lot of damage to ourselves. The challenge of the card is to wake up and continue our journey even if that leads us to the next card: The Tower.

So who what energy can wake us up? The Queen of Wands, the good with of the deck. She has a pointy magic wand in her hand and when I look at those two naked bodies in the other card, it is not difficult to imagine what she will do with her wand…

Sometimes we need a bit of external encouragement when we can’t find it within ourselves. This could be a new project or hobby, a conversation with a friend or reading an inspiring book, as long as it sparks our inner fire and puts us on our feet again.

Today, for me, the Queen of Wands represents my excitement to join two IG challenges for the month of October: One about shadow work and the other one about connecting to the Feminine Divine. Will I finish them?  I don’t know, but I do love the thrill and the creative boost of starting these two challenges.

The Devil – Babysteps towards freedom

Today’s card is The Devil from The Wild Unknown Tarot.  He is the personification of temptation and indulgence.  He is all about satisfying the primal needs of our ego. Numbing us and tempting us to distract our mind from whatever needs our attention is his number one goal. Of course, he is not some evil mythical creature. No, he is an undeniable part of who we are. 

It often feels like he wants to keep me from exploring my inner shadows; from dealing with my issues so I won’t grow and change. The Devil is not keen on change; he wants to keep everything the way it is now. Safety and comfort are his favorite disguises to keep us in bondage.

So what to do if we do want to change and move forward in life and I pulled the Ace of Pentacles. Immediately my eyes were drawn to the fiery parts in each card: The devils burning feet and the glowing center of the trunk. It feels as if we can redirect the energy we give to our inner Devil towards a new beginning, an opportunity to change however small it might be.

My main numbing strategy is screen time.  Not the time I am blogging or reading other people’s blogs, posting pictures on IG and enjoying other people’s posts. No, it is the mindless clicking, the checking en rechecking for updates or new emails. It is watching too many YouTube videos and last but definitely, not least it is binge-watching crime series. This habit consumes so much of my precious time and energy.

So starting from today I am going to finish the two knitting projects I have been neglecting lately. Hopefully, this will help me to find some inner peace and keep me more present and aware of what’s going on in the here and now.

King of Cups – Caution: Risk Of Explosion

Today’s card is the King of Cups from The Raven's Prophecy Tarot. In this depiction we see a glass which  contains just one feather. The king of Cups is known to be a very good listener. He truly can hold space for how you feel deep down and for what you need to unburden. Only after you have told him everything, he will give you great advice on how to move forward without any pressure to see his way as the only way.

But who really knows what is going on with him:  Always smiling, always nodding , always  calm. Who knows what this feather is all about? He will not share, without being pushed quite a bit. His feelings are buried deep beneath his responsibility as king.  But beware, these build up emotions can explode unexpectedly and then he feels exposed, ashamed and crownless.

So what advice could we give this King and I got the Hanged Man: this card encourages him to take some time  to explore how he feels about being the archetypal counselor and perhaps even more importantly to explore how he feels….

Often taking a step back will give us a more clear perspective  on a lot of things; even on what we didn’t know troubled us in the first place.

I know all too well how it feels to be a King of Cups and when build up emotions become a hazard for my family and myself.

So for today will try to be more open about how I feel, if only to myself in my journal, in order to prevent my glass to break into pieces once again. And yes, taking a few good deep breaths or a time out after “King of Cups duty” is a very sound advice indeed! 

Undressing of a salad - Keeping our balance at all cost?

Today’s card is “Undressing the Salad” of The Faeries' Oracle and it features a bluish young faerie juggling his balls with a little help from the crouching faerie on the head of large gnome who is looking in two directions at once. A strange name for a strange card but for today I will focus on whether or not it is possible to always maintain our balance, in every moment, whatever it may bring. I think not. In my humble opinion balance is something we can strive for, experience it for a while and eventually, we fall out of balance again. This cycle will keep repeating itself as long as we keep striving for balance. Maybe this cycle is also a sort of balance or perhaps even more a rhythm of life with its ups and downs; of breathing in and breathing out. It definitely sounds more natural to me than maintaining our balance at all cost, all the time.

So for today I will take it easy because the last few days were quite busy.  For me a perfect  way to live a balanced life J

Two of Pentacles – Keep practicing

Today’s card is the Two of Pentacles from the Goddess Tarot. This is a card of balance, flexibility and a touch of playfulness. When we look at this woman, it is very obvious she doesn’t find this juggling act very difficult. She keeps her Pentacles in the air with grace and ease. She doesn’t even have to watch what she is doing. That is, in my opinion, the secret of a juggler. Once you get the hang of the rhythm of throwing and catching it isn’t that difficult anymore. Mind you, juggling isn’t so much about catching but more about throwing; about purposely letting go and trusting you will catch it again when the time is right.

Ah, if only I was such a proficient juggler. No need for planners or to-do lists, no need for creating some good habits day after day. I would love to be more like this woman who is living in this very moment and is satisfied with doing what she is can do. She isn’t concerned with all her other Pentacles laying around the house and catching dust.

So, for today I will try to focus on the task at hand without letting myself be distracted by everything else I should be doing instead.  Also, I will try to find some flow of throwing and catching, of breathing in and breathing out. 

Ace of Cups – replenishing my Heart

Today’s card is the Ace of Cups from the Goddess Tarot.  In this card, we see the full moon “contained—but not captured—within a golden cup surrounded by the ocean, source of all life”. This is a card of great emotional fulfillment and an abundance of Love. It is a card of generosity; giving Love from your heart without holding back but at the same time it is also a card of receiving this Love, which is freely given and will fill up your Heart to the brim and even more. The only thing we have to do is to be willing and deem ourselves worthy to receive it.

This weekend I have been visiting my mother and the overall experience was good. But I am quite exhausted now, so I wasn’t surprised when this card came up again. It has been following me around for the last four days. J

For today I see it this card as a reminder to take care of myself and do the things which will help me to fill my cup again. So after finishing this blog post, I am taking “the day off” and forget about every  “I have to”  until tomorrow. 

Three Card Spread – Keep checking in with yourself

For today I have decided to do the Within-Without-Advice spread with the Smith Waite Tarot. The cards I drew fit perfectly with my previous post about my attempt to create a “Free-Flowing routine” in order to establish some fulfilling and more healthy habits.

Within – Eight of Pentacles

It seems I feel quite content with the result of my new routine. Working with it brings structure in my life and a great deal of satisfaction. Gradually I will get better in maintaining my new and still fragile set of habits.

Without - The Chariot

Look at me I am riding on the wind. Just doing great. Oh no, not quite the movement I was expecting. Yes, this chariot has left the city behind the walls but now, in his concrete wagon he is going nowhere. It looks very impressive on the outside world but what is going on the inside of the charioteer?

Advice – The King of Cups

This is for me the archetype of the healer. He is our inner therapist, the part of ourselves that is able to distance himself of the problem at hand. He urges you  to find out what is really going on.

Yes it is obvious I am already trying too hard; becoming too rigid in my efforts although my intent was to stay compassionate with myself  and surrender to the flow of the day. This is so me: wanting to do my very best, even if it is not the best for myself. So I will take this advice at heart and I will proceed more slowly, more gently and more consciously about how I am feeling.

New Moon in August

For this new moon, I have pulled one card from the Fountain Tarot as to what energy I should embrace during this next cycle of the Moon and I got the Six of Wands: Another Six after last New Moon’s Six of Cups. Six in tarot is a very auspicious number; it is all about Union, Harmony, and balance. The Six of Wands speaks of hope and motivation and is a very timely card for me because as of late I am trying to build a free-flowing daily routine for myself to get things done and get a more healthy lifestyle. A free-flowing routine might sound like an oxymoron to you but it does work for me.  I’ve started with one habit I want to keep above all, which is meditating for 15 minutes before doing anything else and all the other things on my list were mere suggestions. Now I am also writing daily in my journal and drawing a tiny sketch a day. For me, the success rate of my “routine” is very motivating. I feel very accomplished by doing these three things which will cost me about 45 minutes a day. Only when I feel these three activities have become real habits, I will add one more. Also, I have promised myself that taking a step back when I feel overwhelmed has nothing to do with failure but is, in fact, a kind and compassionate thing to do.

The whole premise of this experiment is getting motivated by success and to take one baby step at the time. Every little success is a like golden star on my chart. And every little setback a pink heart of compassion.

Daughter of Air – fly boldly, fly freely

Today’s Card is Daughter of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. In her hand, she is holding a feather. This feather is linking to her inner free flying eagle, who rises above her daily sometimes trivial problems to get a better view of the big picture and who will guide her into the right direction.

This card is all about self-liberation. To get out of our rut and turn into the freedom loving human being we are supposed to be. Staying where we are may seem the most secure and comforting thing to do but when we remind ourselves of our inner strength and innate power it isn’t strange we long for more. Remember we aren’t newly hatched chicks anymore;  we are full grown eagles ready to be bold and soar. 

"There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud. Carl Sandburg

Mother of Earth – It is okay to be proud of ourselves

Today’s card is Mother of Earth from the Vision Quest Tarot. She is all about nurturing ourselves as well as others, about connecting with our body and with nature.  Mother of Earth implies that whatever we do for ourselves we also do for others since everything is connected and we are all one. So practising self-care and self-love is by no means an act of self-centeredness.

Today my focus is the child on her lap. It feels like she wants to tell her mother all the things she has already accomplished. Yes, she knows she has still a lot to learn and to practice but that doesn’t mean she can’t  be proud of her achievements so far.

We tend to focus mostly on the what we still need to improve and on how to better ourselves but it can be quite inspiring to give ourselves a pat on the back once in a while just because we deserve it.

Today I am proud of baking our daily bread, choosing organic alternatives for my groceries  if I can afford them, taking a walk, pumpkins in our garden and meditating before breakfast

What would you like to share with Mother of Earth today?

Seven of Spirals and Seven of Scrolls – The power of imagination

Yesterday I drew the Seven of Spirals (Assertion) from the Chrysalis Tarot and which conveyed a strong inner “Yes” in me!  Since my “nurture” plans for Monday (due to all sorts of reasons) didn’t see the light of day, I figured I was entitled to a second chance to pamper myself.

But this card is not only about retreat and setting boundaries but also about going deep within (spirals) and finding your inner strength.  A strength which is so powerful that you will have to find the right balance to assert yourself. It pleases me the bear is sitting quietly in her cave and her gaze is more than enough to keep unwanted visitors at bay. Without growling or showing her claws she protects her sacred space. She knows her strength so she has no need to show it all the time. Only if needed she will react more fiercely. 

So this morning I asked what to do next and I got the Seven of Scrolls (indecision). This card feels very akin to the Two of Swords but it also highlights the need for creative imagination. As humans we are able to decide on so many levels: instinctive first reaction, logical reasoning, intuition, emotional response etc.

It is up to us which of these options we would use to make our decision but now and then it might be helpful not to pick our go-to problem-solving strategy. As a Queen of Swords person, this card tells me to let go of my reasoning abilities for a change and try to tap into my more creative imaginative side. That will help me to ponder what could be behind those two doors? Which one should I open? Where will it lead me? What does it bring me? So many questions, I think I might stay in my cave for another day also because it will be a very hot and humid day. 

Four of Feathers and Ten of Cups - Finding Peace of mind

Today’s card is the Four of Feathers (Four of Swords) from the Margarete Petersen Tarot. I love to receive this card from any deck. This card reminds me to quiet down and find some peace of mind. Although I do love almost every other version of The Four of Swords, I must say that this card is rendering its meaning so beautifully. We see a person resting in the darkest shade of blue. He is lying in a protective bubble with a large feather on top.  In the distance, we see hills and mountains. But for now, he doesn’t need to worry about them. For now there are no problems, no questions, no to-do’s no nothing. He only needs to breath and to be. The whole vibe of the card is so soothing. You can almost feel the caress of the soft feather on your skin.

Then I wondered what could help me to find this peace of mind and I got the Ten of Cups: a calm ocean glittering in the sunlight. Breath in and out like the rolling of the waves and realize just how blessed and loved you are.

I hope you all can find some inner stillness today. Even if it is only for just a moment …..

Five of Feathers - Just throw in the towel

Today’s card is Five of Feathers from the Margarete Petersen Tarot. Since I read my cards mostly for personal development, I interpret The Five of Feathers often as an internal struggle. With the Five of fire in a few posts earlier, this struggle was heated and aggressive and emotions were all over the place. With this card however the energy is much more manipulative and calculative. Our mind wants to lure us into believing all kinds of fabrications about how we shouldn’t do what we want because we are not good enough, strong enough, bright enough etc.. For me, those stories are predominately fear based. They try to prevent me from acting and playing and experimenting. Well let me rephrase that: I  try to prevent myself from doing what I love.

So this card is all about undermining ourselves and focusing our energy on winning this endless fight. The advice this card is giving us is to quit, to throw in the towel. This is a battle that can’t be won, even if you think you are strong enough and victory is within your grasp. Believe me, it is not. As long as we keep fighting ourselves, we will feed our mind with energy to uphold an strengthen these demeaning opinions over us. No, the only thing we can do, just like in the five of Fire, is taking a step back and withdraw ourselves from the fight.  This is the only way to quiet our mind and listen to the soft voice of our inner Truth. The one that says we are wonderful, we can do anything we want….. 

Five of Flames - Remove yourself from the fight

Today’s card is Five of Flames from the Margarete Petersen Tarot. This is a card of quarrel and rivalry, of trying to win at all cost because the only other option is to lose. This is something we definitely don’t want because we fear to be less than the other, to be put down and rejected. In the middle of the card, where the actual fight is going on, the red is fiery and vibrant. Here the little figures are battling with whoever stands in their way. It is each for themselves until the winner is declared. Often this struggle is mostly internal: heated discussions with our inner committee. 

But then I noticed the figure on the left side of the card with his hands on his head. He is slightly removing himself from the fight as if the aggression becomes too much for him. The moment when he will turn his head he will notice the yellows of this card. This is the place where he can find clarity about the situation they are all in. There he can question of the issue they are fighting about is really worth this display of this aggression.

Yes often if we take a step back and release the need to be on top of everything which is going on around us we also are able to release our need to be right and to be in control about what needs be done. I experience this most often when my two adult daughters are living their lives in their own way, making their own decisions and doing the best they can.  Taking a step back from my meddling nature I can observe more clearly so when they do need me I will be there.

Raidho and The Hanged Man – The journey within

My rune for today is Raidho (wheel), the rune of traveling and movement. The question I like to ask this rune is: "Where do I go from here?" and I pulled The Hanged Man. 

So physically I am going nowhere but that doesn’t mean I am not going on a journey. The Hanged Man tells us it is time to take a pause and reflect on what we need to hold on to and nurture and what we need to let go off. What is bringing deep fulfillment and is contributing to our purpose in life? What is helping us to step into our authentic power?  How can we respond to life with Love instead of reacting in fear? So many questions, so many things to ponder about. To find the answer to all of this we only need to quiet down and listen. This can be done during meditation, or while taking a walk or just sitting in our garden and let the beauty of nature sink in.

The Hanged Man of the Rider Waite Tarot shows us the effect of this inner journey. Just look at the halo around the man’s head. In the Wild Unknown Tarot we see how  by hanging upside down the bat keeps his head in the light too and in the Vision Quest Tarot the Hanged man is replaced by a Native American who is indeed going on a Vision Quest, an inner journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth

All the cards, however, show in their own special way that what is unconscious and hidden deep within needs to be brought into the light. Not to get rid of it but to truly own it and transform it from something we fear into something we are able to love. 

New Moon in May

For this new moon, I have pulled one card from the Gaian Tarot as to what energy  I should embrace during this next cycle of the Moon and I got The Sun.
This card puts a big smile on my face. As you all know I haven't been feeling all too well as of late but now, when I am starting to feel a lot better this card is an affirmation to hold on to this positive change in my life. I don’t expect everything to go smoothly and within my control but I can try to focus on the things that make me happy and on what  I am grateful for. It is often not so much the reality which makes us happy, sad or anxious but the way we perceive this reality. This card encourages me to seek joy intentionally and if I can’t find it, it urges me to do something which makes me feel good: painting and drawing, walking and riding my bicycle, enjoying my garden, eating strawberries and chocolate and reading a good book or perhaps even buying a red dress. And yes, it's okay to spend time with myself because I am totally worth it!
I also love that when I feel good, others seem to feel better too. It seems that Joy and Happiness are as contagious as an ordinary cold
All in all, I am really looking forward to working with the energy of this card for the next four weeks.
Affirmation from the guidebook: I "choose to make a life that creates happiness for myself and for others.”