New moon in April

Instead of drawing some cards for this new moon, I have decided to choose them intentionally so they would represent what I want to accomplish during this coming lunation.
I choose the Four of Swords and the Princess of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot.

The fours of Swords represents my intention to quiet down my always busy mind. At first, I thought it could be a good idea to start meditating daily again but knowing myself, I realized this would be very hard to accomplish. I think it would be better for me if I could choose from various options: meditating, riding my bike. sitting with Jofee on my lap, taking a walk, playing with watercolors... etc. anything which would calm my racing thoughts goes.
The Princess of Cups represents my state of being when I will succeed in this; even if it is only for a second or two. She is connected to her heart, the place where feelings whisper and true wisdom comes from. She is totally willing to hear and listen to the messages of her heart. The flow of these messages is a constant in her life because she has no problem to tune into them. I don't expect to be like the Princess of Cups in four weeks but I am willing to commit to this practice and to see where it will lead me.

Six of Pentacles - Receiving isn't easy

Today's card is the Six of Pentacles from the Druidcraft Tarot. This is a card of giving and or receiving benefits. It also speaks about a fair balance between the two. Finding that balance can be a hard thing to do. Especially when you're on the giving side of the equation. Givers don't like to admit they need help or other resources just like anyone else. They almost need to be coaxed into receiving the gifts we want to give them. A lot of these givers have probably been spoonfed with the words that "it's better to give than to receive. ”
I know, because I am one of them. It's hard for me to express my needs to others and ask for help but I am getting better at it. In order to do that I have to open up and be prepared to be vulnerable. I think it's about time I start practicing this more seriously....
So for today I will try be mindful to graciously accept a helping hand, a compliment, some loving attention and even more, to ask for this if needed.

Nine of Cups –Sharing our gratitude

Today’s card is the Nine of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. This card is my theme card for this year. We see a man sitting at his table with his cup raised. He is content and has done well for himself. But especially in this depiction, it feels like something is missing. He has laid the table for his guests to drink some of his exquisite wine and eat from a fresh cooked salmon. Yet, nobody else is there. Perhaps it is still too early; otherwise, he wouldn’t be smiling and sitting there all pleased and feeling good about himself.

This is the card of dreams come true, wishes fulfilled and all things good in life. It invites us to ponder about what we have filled our nine cups with and what wisdom we have gained (salmon) There so much to be grateful for and to be proud of. This harvest season is particularly suited to express our gratitude for everything life has offered us. And yes I do mean everything because often our challenges are carrying our most precious gifts.

So for today, I will ponder on the content of my nine cups and especially about what this beautiful salmon has taught me in the last few months. But... I will also share my findings with my loved ones and then I will be stepping from the solitude of the Nine of Cups into the warm embrace of the Ten of Cups...

The Devil – Please wake me up!

Today’s card is Cernunnos, The Devil, from the Druidcraft Tarot. The two figures from The Lovers are in a deep sleep, probably dreaming of their sensual encounter in that card. 

Cernunnos, The God of the wild hunt and the underworld, is watching them, curious, if or when they will wake up. He is not evil or holding them captive against their will. He is just observing if those two can manage to embrace the material aspects of life without becoming addicted to them. As everything and always in life, this is a fine line to walk:  too much will often lead to addiction and obsession but too little can bring about disgust for everything physical. Both excesses are prone to cause a lot of damage to ourselves. The challenge of the card is to wake up and continue our journey even if that leads us to the next card: The Tower.

So who what energy can wake us up? The Queen of Wands, the good with of the deck. She has a pointy magic wand in her hand and when I look at those two naked bodies in the other card, it is not difficult to imagine what she will do with her wand…

Sometimes we need a bit of external encouragement when we can’t find it within ourselves. This could be a new project or hobby, a conversation with a friend or reading an inspiring book, as long as it sparks our inner fire and puts us on our feet again.

Today, for me, the Queen of Wands represents my excitement to join two IG challenges for the month of October: One about shadow work and the other one about connecting to the Feminine Divine. Will I finish them?  I don’t know, but I do love the thrill and the creative boost of starting these two challenges.

Ten of Wands – It’s okay to say No

Today’s card is the Ten of Wands from the Druidcraft Tarot.  It is a card of feeling obligated and overburdened.  An old man is carrying his ten wands uphill. His destination is not yet in sight, so we don’t know how far he has yet to travel before he can lay down his heavy wands.

When we often feel like this it can be a sign that we need to change our behavior and/or our attitude towards the need to do it all by ourselves. This is easy to write down but so much harder to establish in real life.

Lately, since I’ve started my journey towards more spiritual freedom,  I find my wands to be so much lighter and easier to carry. Also, my wands don't  hurt my back as much as they used to. And when I do feel tired, I don’t mind tossing them on the ground and take a nap on the side of the road. Life isn’t all about work and fulfilling (often self-imposed ) obligations and expectations. If only we were taught that play and having fun are just as important as doing our job and,…. most importantly, that it is okay to say NO once in while.

Seven of Cups - Fretting over first world problems

Today’s card is the Seven of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. This card represents being held captive by too many options and the inability to choose one and to get on with our lives. The guy is dressed in vibrant red and is sitting on a rock covered with soft green moss. He is staring at a vision of six beautiful cups, completely unaware of the real cup standing next to him. For me, this symbolizes the conflict between his more primal desires and that, what he truly loves. Often we want it all although deep down we know what makes us really happy and these two are most of the time not exactly the same. As long we have this inner conflict, we can keep sulking and lingering in the hope we can have it all. Yes, sometimes we can still act like our inner two-year-old, screaming for candy in a mall. 

The issues this card addresses are often first world problems. They hardly ever have anything to do with food. shelter, clothing etc. So what does this card trigger for me today? Since we are rapidly approaching October there are popping up several Shadow work challenges on IG. One even more promising than the other. Now you all know I am great at starting challenges but sadly not so good at finishing them. But none the less, I am tempted to join several of them. And the next issue is which decks to use? One or a few for each challenge or just pick them intuitively? Mind you, sticking with one deck for more than a few days is also quite challenging for me. Should I combine Oracle cards with Tarot and if so, which Oracle decks are suited for shadow work? Which journal should I use: a new one or just my regular tarot journal? These are only a few examples of what is keeping my mind occupied and also keeping me from making an actual decision, preparing myself,  and looking forward to the experience of doing this kind of challenge together with a part of the IG Community.

So for today, I am going to make up my mind about all of this and I will challenge myself to stick to my decision in order to clear my head and enjoy these last few days of September, instead of fretting over October challenges… J

Seven of Swords - Putting it all together

After yesterday’s card, the Seven of Swords seems to invite us to really take a good look at what we believe to be true and to shed some light over contradicting idea’s. This card invites me to write about my spiritual beliefs and how I came to this personal blend of several belief systems.

As you all know I was raised Christian but never felt quite comfortable with the exclusive nature of Christianity. Although I loved God and Jesus, the dogma’s were putting me off immensely.  So starting in adolescence,  I have always been trying to fit in with other kinds of spiritual groups but up until today I have never found one. Buddhism, Wicca, Paganism, they all have beautiful and deep truths but somehow I missed the God of my Childhood and, honestly, there was always the fear of being totally wrong and the impending consequences.

My altar was a beautiful representation of my confusion and my swaying between different beliefs. One day I would have representations of Mary, Jesus and other Christian symbols on my altar but a month later it could have changed into a celebration of nature and the Divine Feminine. When I was totally confused I reduced it to a few crystals and a large white candle.

Then I picked up “Paganism” by River and Joyce Higginbotham which taught me that our idea’s of Divinity are something entirely different then Divinity itself. Words, ideas etc are only limiting our perception of God.

This helped me to overcome the fear to be wrong and after long deliberation, I took a leap of faith and I wholeheartedly embraced God as truly multifaceted. It was such a relief not having to puzzle the pieces together but experiencing how everything blends in seamlessly: my love for Jesus and Mary are in no way contradicting with my reverence for Mother Holda and the  Great Mother. One thing that l really love is that with Jesus, I have a male aspect of God to relate to which was very difficult for me when I was solely focusing on Paganism.

In this card we see the old man desperately trying to fit his seven swords in a structure he can work with. I am now positive he will succeed but only when he is willing to implement some room for mystery and awe because our spirit can take us places where our mind cannot enter.

Six of Swords - Mind Traveling

Today’s card is the Six of Swords from the Druidcraft Tarot. Two persons are sitting in a little boat: a young woman, a man. The boatman is guiding his boat of the river. I wonder where it is they are going to. They do have still some issues to resolve because they have brought their Swords with them. Where ever you go, you cannot outrun your problems but you can put them aside for a while so you can find some peace of mind and crossing the river in a boat will prevent you from drowning in your worries or get too tangled up in them.

Nowadays for me, there is no place like home, so I don’t see myself traveling in the real world anytime soon. But I do like travel in my mind: reading books, watching movies, fantasize or just wandering my mind and see where this will lead me. There is so much to discover in the boundless world of our imagination. The only thing we need is a cozy spot and the willingness to be taken on a journey by your inner ferryman.

The Wheel - Carving out Space and Time

Question to draw a card with: How can I take care of myself during the last days of this year? And I got The Wheel from the DruidCraft Tarot.

Some keywords for this card are Completion  and beginning of a cycle.

For me this is a perfect card for the last out breath of this year. A time to  recuperate from the stressful Christmas season. Only one festivity to go and then the new year will begin. The priestess is drawing a circle with her wand, while holding a symbol of the wheel of the year in her other hand. The circle is almost completed. It is a symbol for a completed cycle but it is also a sacred space, out of time out of place, where we can recharge and/or ground ourselves and where we can connect with Spirit. It is so essential to carve out space and time for ourselves this time of year to withdraw from everyday distractions. This way we can reflect on what has been and what may come. This is the perfect time to set new intentions and let go of outdated beliefs.

I hope you will all be able to give yourself the gift of Space and Time these last few days of the year.  

My best Christmas gifts!

I wasn’t planning on blogging today but when I read Chloe’s post: “What Were Your Best ChristmasGifts?”

I was inspired to pull two cards to answer the following questions for myself. I used the Druidcraft Tarot since it is my “Christmas deck” for this year. I have been enjoying it so much; just looking at the pictures, discovering new details, pulling a card now and then and being amazed by its wisdom and evocative nature all over again.

So let’s dive in:

What is the best gift I gave this Christmas? – Ace of Swords

From the depth of my sometime murky unconscious  emerged one thought crystal clear: this Christmas is a brand new experience: a once in a life time Christmas. No need to stain it with regrets and/or high expectations of Christmases  past. This relaxed mindset allowed me to step into this year’s Christmas with my family and really enjoy it. My eldest daughter and her boyfriend and my husband all came to visit us and we had a very good and peaceful day. I was able to divide my energy with ease and even keep some for  myself.

What is the best gift I received this Christmas? – Three of Swords

All  the merriment and cheerfulness were like a healing balm for the lingering sadness which is always, one way or another, asking for attention during this season. But this year I felt no need to harden my heart so I could protect myself from feeling too much. No this year I felt like I could be truly be myself and that was a wonderful Christmas gift.

What were your gifts this year?

The Tower - I am only human

Yesterday morning I drew The Tower from the Druidcraft Tarot as my focus card for my daily Lenormand reading.  Not the most favorable card for a daily draw. The question I derived from this card was: What will shock me and/or undermine my confidence in an abrupt way?

From the Celtic Lenormand I pulled: cross, ring and clouds. I see cross and ring as a commitment to my spirituality. All my cards together looked like a rather unsuspected and emotional test of my spiritual beliefs. Again nothing too look forward to…

The day went by and nothing happened and honestly I totally forgot all about my cards until late at night when I went to bed to read a few pages in one of the books on my tablet. 

Since the battery was almost empty I had connected it to my brand-new charger cable. (A replacement for the one that died on me after about two weeks). I started reading and after a few seconds I noticed again the red cross in the battery icon: the G*dd*mm*t, F*ck  and Sh*t’s  broke the silence in my sleeping room. Ample moments later I noticed I hadn’t fully pushed the plug in its charging port. When I did so my battery was charging again….. And then I remembered my cards…

An electrical setback causes such emotional distress that I forgot all about my beliefs and started swearing ( which of course normally I never do!).

Often such minor events can be tracked back literally to our daily draw. Look how the lightning strikes The Tower…

The fool - The Magic of a Fresh Outlook

The last couple of days I’ve been having a lot of fun with my Lenormand cards,  so for today, just like in my previous post, I have pulled one tarot card as a focus for my daily three card Lenormand spread. My tarot card  for today is The Fool from the Druidcraft Tarot.

This card is all about naivete and innocence; about seeing the world through the eyes of child with wonder and amazement, as if today is the first day of our life. So the question that came to mind was: What do I need to be open, carefree and content about? What do I need to experience today as if it was the first time?

And I pulled from the Celtic Lenormand: fox, ring and tree.

The ring stands for commitments and relationships. The Tree card tells me this is not about casual relationships but more about long standing family ties, deep rooted but often with gnarls, cracks and broken branches. And then like in all families often the fox comes around to emphasize the nasty little irritations we all have gathered over the years. 

Some even have turned into festering wounds of unmet desires and expectations. Often this says more about us than about them, so how do we shut up this deceiving inner voice who seeks out the tiny cracks and flaws in our commitments? I think if we were to look at our loved ones like we did the day we realized we loved them, everything else would be trifling and meaningless…

So this morning I have visited my husband and we had a very pleasant get together indeed. I will also try to  keep this message in mind when I address M and my mother today. I suspect it will make all the difference.

The Sun - Finding Peace

Today’s card is the Sun from the Druidcraft Tarot. We see a boy riding a horse on a summer's day. The sun is directly behind his head so we can only see its rays. This card is about everything joyful and happy we can think of.  It's also about confidence and vitality, about having the courage to put yourself and your talents out there,  so everyone can see how magnificent you truly are. But too often we don’t; feel like this and we are tempted to chase this illusive happiness in the outer world. We buy things, we eat things and yes they do make us happy, for a while, and then we have to hunt for more.

So my question for the Celtic Lenormand was: where to find a more lasting joy and I was quite surprised by the cards I pulled:

Lily + Cross + bear

In the center there is the cross; for me the card of spiritual beliefs and faith. In this context I see the lily as a symbol of harmony and inner peace. The bear is all about strength and courage and standing up for who you are and what you believe. These cards tell me that instead of chasing  happiness, I should turn inside to my spiritual beliefs and find there the inner peace and strength to bask in that sunlight which is a beautiful symbol of the Divine light shining from without and within every moment of our life. (whether we are aware of it or not)

Different Cards - Same Message

Today’s card is the Three of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. A happy cheerful card, well suited for the Holiday season. Although in this deck the characters are male instead of female, I always identify it with my daughters and myself and of course for now also with my SIL. 

When I asked for advice on how to create such a loving and joyful atmosphere in my house, I got The Wheel: In this depiction we see a woman literally carving out space and time for herself. She is casting a circle with herself in the center of it. From there she can observe and respond mindfully to any given situation at hand without becoming overwhelmed by it. 

Finally I asked what the result would be if I would follow the advice of the Wheel? And then The Star jumped out of my deck. Hope an renewal, Cleansing and healing and wishes come true. When I trust enough that all will be well and I will be able let go of my Holiday anxiety, then I will find that inner peace and quiet: a well brimful of inspiration and loving guidance 

New Moon in December - Leaving my cave

For this New Moon I've drawn two cards as usual. The first one for the energy I am going to release and the second one for the energy which is beneficial for me to embrace. From the Druidcraft Tarot I pulled:

Release – Nine of Swords

Now that is a great card to draw for this position. Who wouldn’t want to release all their worries and think only happy thoughts?

As you might have read in my previous posts, there are a lot of changes occurring in my life right now. My first reaction to change is to try to control each and every one of them and when this isn’t possible (duh!!) then I worry about my lack of control. Also at night and in the early morning things always seem less positive and more difficult than during the day. In Dutch we have saying: “seeing a lot of bears on the road…”

Embrace – Ace of coins

Well look who is here: a bear! But I do get the distinct feeling that instead of me seeing the bear, this card is about me being the bear:

Slowly I am coming out of my cave, knowing my own worth and strength. It is not necessary I hide there any longer. I feel confident and at peace and I am entitled to claim my place in this new world full of opportunities and the promise of new beginnings (birches)

When a situation is somewhat difficult I often tend to retire to my room in to find peace and quiet. Chloe from Inner Whispers gave me the advice not only to seek shelter in my room (my cave), how lovely and cozy that might be, but also to create one in my mind so I can find peace within and take it with me wherever I go.

I suppose this strong brave bear has accomplished all this during the dark long winter nights in his cave. Yes, I think such a spiritual shelter cannot be made overnight but has to be build with multiply layers of courage, trust and faith…and most of all Love!

So for now I am going to fill a “Spiritual First Aid Box”: It will contain items which will help me to ground and center myself and to enter that place of peace and quiet within, not only when I am alone, but also when I am around other people.

Some of the items are:

My knitting and chrochet

My journal and pen

My art journal and pencil

My prayerbeads

Some crystals

A mandala coloring page with coloring pencils

A deck of tarot and/or oracle cards

More suggestions are always welcome!

Learning to appreciate the Knight of Wands

After nearly a month of shadow work, how do I feel about my least favorite tarot card of the deck: the Knight of Wands? Honestly my feelings couldn’t have been more opposite and if you would have asked me this in the beginning of the month I would never ever have believed my opinion about this knight could changed so much.

In my previous post about him I wrote how much I disliked his high spirited and adventurous nature and I even confessed I might be a bit jealous of him.

Well this month he has slowly come out of the shadows and I really came to appreciate his qualities. It is so easy to forget the positive aspect of a card you dislike. As always an aversion to a card says more about us than about the card itself. It is only natural when a card represents a shadow aspect of ourselves we are not prone to like it. But this month’s work showed me I was more afraid of this knight than that I actually disliked him. If I would dare to embrace him I might have to face my creative drive, embrace my passion and be vulnerable because I could fail or maybe even worse; be successful….

So carefully I’ve started to draw and paint again and I love it. It is still scary but I don’t feel anxious about it. For the first time in years I have started a painting on canvas. Rarely did I consider my art worthy enough to do so. Yes participating in this challenge has definitely opened some doors and windows for me and now a fresh breeze is caressing my soul

Divination 3x3x3 Tag: Tarot, Oracle, and other forms of Divination

A few days ago Chloe from Inner whispers posted a video on Youtube which was called: Divination 3x3x3 Tag. In this video she shared with us her three favorite Tarot decks, Oracle decks and other forms of divination. At first I thought this is not for me, since I don’t like to talk in English and especially not on YouTube. Writing on my blog feels entirely different, much less vulnerable.  So then I thought why not make some pictures of my favorite decks and share them here:

Because it was already extremely difficult to pick three decks from each category, the decks I will show you are in random order.

My 3 favorite Tarot decks:

The Original Rider Waite Tarot by A. E. Waite, Pamela Colman-Smith

I had to pick an RW because it  has the imagery I can always fall back to. It is the system with which I’ve start out my tarot journey. This version appeals to me the most. Not only for its color scheme but also for the feel and smell of the cardstock.

The Druidcraft tarot by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm and artist Will Worthington

After a long period without tarot this is the deck that brought me back to this deep felt passion of mine. I love the West European feel of it. It feels close to home for me. And of course the art is amazing, as all will’s art is.

The Wild Unknown Tarot by Kim Krans. 

Although I own this deck for only about fourteen I already am so in love with this deck. It reads very intuitively and I am sure we will bond perfectly together

My 3 favorite Oracle decks:

The Tao Oracle by by Ma Deva Padma

I’ve bought this oracle because I was already in love with the Osho Zen tarot but these cards exceeded my expectations. The images are so beautiful and diverse. The deck covers every aspect of life; the dark and light. For now I use it only as an oracle but you can also chose to read it according to the I Ching system which I am not familiar with (yet).

The Sacred Rebels Oracle by Alana Fairchild, Autumn Sky Morrison

This is my favorite Oracle deck ever. It somehow makes me feel as if this deck is made especially for me. It came to me in a period I needed this deck very much and it has given me already so many wonderful messages

The Goddess Inspiration Oracle by Kris Waldherr

I love the fact this deck has 80 cards: so many aspects of the Divine Feminine in one deck. It is an easy deck to work with: just pull a card and you will get an empowering affirmation from one of the many goddesses from all over the world. I use this deck very often.

My 3 favorite other forms of divination

My DIY runes

These 24 pebbles are my doorway to the realm of divination. They have opened doors for me I never knew existed. Recently I’ve start using them again and  I love the honest and raw energy they have.

The Celtic Lenormand by Chloe McCracken, Will Worthington

I’ve waited so long for this deck to be published and now I am so happy it is finally home with me. Besides using it for divination it has already become my main deck for creating magic. I love it how the images, as small as they are, really draw you in.

The Enchanted Lenormand Oracle by Caitlin Matthews, Virginia Lee

While waiting for the Celtic Lenormand this lovely deck came to my attention and it has become one of my favorites to. The images are lovely and solely based on the symbol. So a good counterpart for the more intuitive Celtic Lenormand.

I hoped you enjoyed my take on this 3x3x3 tag. 

What are you favorite decks? Please share or leave the link to your participation to this tag in the comments. 

Runes, Druidcraft Tarot, and Celtic Lenormand in one reading

Today I’ve done what I’ve been dreaming of ever since I've heard that Will Worthington was doing the artwork for the Celtic Lenormand by Chloe McCracken: Combining this deck with the Druidcraft Tarot from the same artist. And of course I had to include my beloved Runes. Recently I've found a second hand wooden set of Runes on the online thrift store in the Netherlands. I thought it would be nice to combine them with these two decks. 

I pulled one rune for the general energy of the day: Ingwaz. This is the rune of fertility. Not so much the creative fiery action but more the peaceful slumber afterwards. The quietness of the sown land; patiently waiting for the first sprouts to appear. This requires a harmonious balance and inner piece.

Very promising indeed but how do I really feel about all this? This answer was given to me by the Ten of Wands from The Druidcraft Tarot: “Not so good. So much to do, so many responsibilities, no time to rest or to be quiet. Always busy.”  Mind you, this is about feelings; not about the actual situation. Often our minds are so busy and chaotic it seems like we have too much going on and so little time to accomplish everything. This feeling can be so overwhelming, we have to fight the urge to throw away all the wands from our back, sit down and do nothing at all.

Although this last option can be very  tempting it is not the most healthy thing to do. So what can we do now in order to feel the peacefulness of Ingwaz and heal our emotional overload?

I pulled two cards from the Celtic Lenormand and they couldn’t have been more fitting: Child + Heart.

We could try to engage in one thing with the openness and trust of a child. Putting in all our love and devotion to this task or project and really feel connected to what we are doing.

Yes, this is a difficult one, when you feel like the Ten of Wands. But when you look at this little boy playing with his boat in the trough, you can almost feel how his heart is traveling  to the ocean where one day he will sail his own ship to far away shores. This intent is patiently waiting, gently growing stronger….. this too is Ingwaz .

So for today I will do one thing, choose one Wand and I will love what I do with all my heart. This way I will experience inner peace, patience and quietness.

Eight of Cups - My Christmas talisman

It is the day after Christmas and I feel good. Christmas is for me, as it is probable for many of you a Holiday which can bring out a lot of mixed feelings and expectations. Because of that, I thought it would be wise to have some sort of an anchor or talisman to hold on too.  A kind of lifesaver so to speak. And  as a representation of this I choose the Eight of cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. In this card I see myself wearing a protective indigo cloak, holding a rod of perseverance and climbing up towards a breathing space. I am leaving my loved ones for a moment behind with their filled cups and enough to eat and I am off to my refuge. Most likely my little room upstairs, or even an unnecessary visit to the toilet. When a physical  retreat isn't an option there is always that safe place in my mind. A  little nook  with my comfy chair near a softly burning hearth where I can knit or just sit and be quiet, watching the flames and listening to the crackle of the fire. Breathing in, breathing out and I am there…. Just for a minute or two.....

Christmas went well, my husband was happy and we were happy for him. Later on in the evening we have watched  a  movie together and that was day one. This morning I went to visit my husband on my own which was new because he always visits us twice with Christmas. But this year we wanted to try to make a change which I thought would benefit us all. (And it did!)

And now I am blogging in a quiet peaceful room where everyone is doing their own thing and it is good and I love it J

The Lord – Asking for help is so difficult

Today’s card is The Lord  (The Emperor) from the Druidcraft Tarot. This card represents the archetypal father, the divine parent, masculinity, fertility, structure and leadership. The eagle in the sky symbolizes his clarity and his ability to analyze any problem. He is also the representation of God on Earth. After my latest card (the seven of Wands, it feels like he is coming to my aid. So today I see him predominantly as a representation of my Divine Parent, who wants to help me to set some clear boundaries and to bring more structure into my life.  All for the purpose of protecting me mentally and physically. Lately I am getting more and more problems with my neck and I am very worried this will result in a hernia again. (the fourth one) Tomorrow I am going to  see the doctor. It was M who took that part of The Lord in this for she insisted to make an appointment. Usually I tend to wait far too long before I admit I need help. This is true for every area of my life. It is so hard for me to ask. But we do have to ask before we will receive. This is true for mundane as well as for spiritual matters. We have to ask for help  and guidance in order to be open enough to receive it.

"Ask for help not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong." Les Brown

PS. This afternoon I've been to the doctor and she gave me some painkillers and the advise to take it easy and rest regularly. And of course to ask for help. For now I will have to stop blogging for a while because sitting behind my laptop isn't that comfortable.
I hope to be back very soon