New moon in April

Instead of drawing some cards for this new moon, I have decided to choose them intentionally so they would represent what I want to accomplish during this coming lunation.
I choose the Four of Swords and the Princess of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot.

The fours of Swords represents my intention to quiet down my always busy mind. At first, I thought it could be a good idea to start meditating daily again but knowing myself, I realized this would be very hard to accomplish. I think it would be better for me if I could choose from various options: meditating, riding my bike. sitting with Jofee on my lap, taking a walk, playing with watercolors... etc. anything which would calm my racing thoughts goes.
The Princess of Cups represents my state of being when I will succeed in this; even if it is only for a second or two. She is connected to her heart, the place where feelings whisper and true wisdom comes from. She is totally willing to hear and listen to the messages of her heart. The flow of these messages is a constant in her life because she has no problem to tune into them. I don't expect to be like the Princess of Cups in four weeks but I am willing to commit to this practice and to see where it will lead me.

Expressing Gratitude with the Wild Unknown Tarot

Today’s question: “what am I most grateful for?”  got me thinking about how,  when we express our gratitude, we often talk/write about the same daily experiences like: A sunny day, a cup of coffee, cuddling with our furry friends  or looking at the flowers in our garden. Reading in my gratitude journal, I notice how I tend to repeat the same things and over again. And yes, I am truly grateful for them but this question filled me with the desire to stretch my perceptive a little and maybe look a bit more inwardly. So I asked the tarot to show me three aspects in my life for which I am grateful: three joy’s which are sometimes a bit out of reach of my day to day experience. From the Wild Unknown Tarot I  pulled:

The Moon: I am grateful or each time I am brave enough to face my fears and do it anyway. The last few days  I have been making abstract art journal pages  and each time it became too “pretty” I used gesso to “mess it up “ again

Four of Swords:  I am grateful for each moment of peace and quiet in a day. They give me a sense of security and also trust that I can return to this place whenever I need it.

Four of Wands: I am grateful for the pauses in life which are meant to celebrate what I have achieved. Resting in the blue center  of gratitude before  being ignited by the fiery passion of the wands again

Four of Swords – Quiet down our Inner Critic

Today’s question is: "How can I let go of self doubt?" and I pulled the Four of Swords. As you know this is one of my “sigh” cards; my permission to let go and quiet down the mind from anxiety and those nagging critical inner voices.  After having completed my oracle challenge on IG, I am experiencing waves of self doubt again. Afraid of putting something on the page which is less “pretty“ than my DIY deck.  Even in my art journal, where I try to play more freely and experiment with my art supplies, I feel the urge to create something “beautiful” and with “beautiful” I mean worthy to show other people. This feeling  has made it crystal clear to me  my that  Inner Critic is holding the reins (again)

So this morning I decided to take up my habit of writing 750 Words a day, before doing anything else. This is the digital equivalent of writing morning pages. For me it is a perfect way to clear my mind and to get those creative juices flowing again. This way I will be able to create room to relax and to do whatever fills me with joy, without any result oriented expectations. This  could be just as simple as allowing myself to take a nap, a walk or perhaps filling up a (new) page in my art  journal just for the fun of it. And no, I am not obliged to finish the last page and make it more “pretty”. Maybe it is even better to fill up some loose leave pages first. Just putting a few collage elements, some paint and some scribbles on them to overcome my fear and to loosen up a bit. The only rule is to keep it abstract!

All and all a very timely question for me today.

A Few of My Favorite Things Spread

Yesterday I found a lovely tarot spread on IG, created by Magpietarot and it's called: “A few of my favorite things spread". I thought it would be fun to try it out here and I chose the Crystal Visions Tarot to do this. You have to separate the Minor Arcana into suits. Than shuffle your little stacks and pull one card from each suit to answer the questions below. I also pulled one card from the Majors because I didn’t want them to feel left out.

From the Wands: Where does my confidence shine?  Eight of Wands – Wnen I am on a roll and everything is going my way.  I don’t mind doing a lot as long as all the horses are running in the same direction. Then I feel like I am the queen of the world
From the Cups: What brings me joy? Queen of Cups.  Very simple but not so easy: To love and be loved and feel connected to  God(dess)

From the Swords: Where do I feel wise? Four of Swords – Haha, that is a good one! When I take a time out when I need it and not when it is already long overdue.

From the Pentacles: What makes me feel safe & secure? Eight of Pentacles – When I do the work and stay in the moment. Whether it is painting a picture or doing the dishes. 

From the Majors: Which underlying energy will make it all possible? The Hanged Man. To let go of all ideas about what I think I should do and try to live more in the here and now, where I might see things from a fresh point a view.

Four of Swords - Doing nothing is sometimes the best thing to do

For today I got the Four of Swords from the Wild Unknown Tarot. A little lamb is resting, while four swords are hanging above him. On the place of his third eye a light is shining brightly. He seems like he is not afraid of those swords. He knows he has to turn inward to access his mental strength and clarity in order to cope with them before they might strike and wound him severely.

For me these Swords symbolize my reaction to Saturday’s Skeleton card. I thought I had overcome the challenge it represents a long time ago but now it strikes back and I have to deal with it again. Parts of me need to get some more meat on the bones, made stronger and less vulnerable. My initial reaction to all of this was: let’s handle this quickly; put a kiss and a bandage on the sore spot and move on. But after given it some more thought I knew this skeleton needed more gentleness, nurturing love and time to heal this time around. So my card for today is about giving myself the time to do nothing about all of this and just sit with the notion of feeling vulnerable and being okay with it. No more hiding behind a clever and fierce appearance but really trying to connect with this part of me and then I hope a true and more lasting light will begin to shine from within. Only then healing this part of me might have some more long-term results.

Joie de Vivre Tarot - A Recipe against Crankiness

Since a few days I am very quick tempered and snappish. Because M and I are now living with the two of us, she is often the victim of my irascibility. After having discussed this together and we realized  what was happening, she gave me the advice to “go find my Zen again”.

Yesterday I drew the first card on this subject, asking what I needed to get “my Zen” back  and I drew the four of Swords from the Joie de Vivre tarot. I thought I couldn’t go wrong with a gentle spring like deck like this. The four of Swords told me to calm down and relax, to put my to-do’s on the shelf and make some time to meditate. This was such an amazing experience that once more is has become a priority for me.

This morning after my meditation (two times in a little row) I asked what would help me to maintain my emotional balance and I drew... the Ten of Coins……. Lovely, couldn’t be better…. But I wanted more…. The Sun….. Oh my… should I try again or would I tempt the fates …..the Ten of Cups!!!!

I don’t think it is necessary  to talk about the meaning of these three cards. It is obvious they radiate love and joy, abundance and gratitude. For me they represent heaven on earth.

With these cards in mind I am sure I will keep my Zen today.

P.S. I just noticed, while editing my pictures, the only suit that is missing today it the suit of Wands. Perhaps I am fiery enough as it is. 

What does Tarot mean to me?

Today I had an interesting conversation with M about which place Tarot has in my life. Words as hobby, interest, obsession, collecting or hoarding, were mentioned. Recently I have shared with you my craving for new stuff etc.  I still think it is not healthy to give in to every budding desire but sometimes there are decks out there you just can’t say no too. For me this is the Ravens prophecy tarot By Maggie Stiefvater. So this afternoon after long consideration I pushed the buy button and I honestly feel so good about it.

To shed some light over the question: “What does tarot mean to me” I pulled three cards from the Anna K Tarot:

Three of Pentacles. My all time creativity card. Tarot opens for me the door to the creative part of my mind. With each  drawn card there is a question asked and an answer needed. Each time a different answer is required, depending on the question, the surrounding cards or the mood of the reader. Tarot is for me the  Book  of Life made of 78 cards and it’s never finished. 

The other beautiful aspect of this card is the sharing of this creative outlet with other likeminded people and to learn from one another and enjoy each other’s work.

Four of Swords  This card is all about the stories we can create with the cards to tell ourselves when we are troubled. These stories mirror our deepest thoughts and fears. They unlock our unconscious and reveal what is hidden in the abyss. Eventually this will bring us healing and peace of mind.

Four of Pentacles  when I pulled this card I had to laugh out loud. My deck couldn’t have overlooked this aspect. This card urges me to walk the fine line between hoarding and selective collecting

I enjoy playing with my decks a lot. Holding them, shuffling them, flipping through them. Al these things are very relaxing for me. So reading this card more positively I would say I really do enjoy having a physical deck collection.

Seeing the two fours here also made me realize how much support and stability Tarot has brought into my life especially during life’s (inevitable) challenges.

What does tarot mean to you?

Shadow Work Spread

Today I’ve done the Shadow Work Spread from the Shadow Work October Challenge by @Mnomquah on IG. For this spread I’ve used the Deviant Moon Tarot by Patrick Valenza.

1 The Light – What you know and accept about yourself?

Queen of Cups. I know I am a loving an protective mother. Always listening to others and  trying to understand them and to feel what they need from me; to know how to help them. I also acknowledge my depression and I try to live with it as good as I possible can.

2 The Shadow – What is hidden from you about yourself?

The Knight of Wands. This is the same card as I’ve chosen for my “least favorite card of the deck”. Well now it is obvious why I picked this card. My Shadow wants to be heard loud and clearly. She wants to be adventurous and to try out new things. She knows no fear or at least she will not be held back by it.

3 Why do you fear you Shadow? What is preventing you from seeing and accepting you Shadow?

Six of Wands. I am afraid of the resistance of my loved ones. They don’t know that part of me. Accepting my shadow might cause conflicts and I don’t know if I am brave enough to face that.

4 Why should you embrace your Shadow? What are the positive sides of your Shadow that would benefit you?

Temperance. My personality would be so much more balanced if I could embrace my Shadow. It would be a very healing experience for me.

5 How to integrate the Shadow into the Light. What steps you should take in order to accept your Shadow?

Four of Swords. It is tempting to try to do Shadow Work only in your head. You have to feel and digest what you’ve learned too; really sit with is and let it sink in and take your time for it. This is the part when the real healing begins

6 The Outcome -The possibilities if you succeed in bringing the Shadow into the Light

The  Magician. I like this card in this position. The possibilities are endless, I can do anything I set m mind to, if I marry my Queen of Cups with my Knight of Wands. Yes so much energy will be set free if they live happily ever after

I am always a bit anxious when I am doing a large and very personal spread like this. Would the cards make sense? What if it is all abracadabra? A bit like stage fright perhaps. Anyway I loved how this spread worked out for me and the insights I got from it. Now I am going for a walk; some much needed Four of Swords time....

Four of Swords - Be Still and find Peace

Today’s cards is the Four of Swords  from the Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law. This deck seems to be popping up on several of my favorite blogs and YouTube channels. so I was inspired to pick it up and draw from it myself. This card seems to be a follow-up from my last post about turning inwards and listening to your intuition.

We see a woman adrift in midair with three swords above her head and one held with both hands on her chest. Her head is the center of golden spiraling swirls. Her hair is swaying  and the ends are blending in with these swirls. Around her body lotuses are floating in the air as a symbol of spiritual and mental purity; of enlightenment. The sword on her chest  has the sigil of an eye, which symbolizes seeing the world with your heart, filled with compassion and love.

Although this card is, like yesterday’s card, also about meditation and listening to the “silent whispers of our heart”  it is also about the necessity of retreat. Often, when this card shows up it is an indication we have been running around in our head far too long and got trapped and/or lost in the tangle of our thoughts. As you all know by now, I have a very swordy personality, so whenever I draw a version of this card I feel an relief. It urges me take a few steps back and breath. The Four of Swords is a kind of guardian angel card for me. So today I will try to carve out time to relax and enjoy the silence in and around (if possible) me. Not only because I love it but because I need it!

Lost in my mindscape

List'ning to the whispering

Of a silent heart

Four of Swords - Time for recovery

For today, instead of drawing a card I picked the tarot card for this post myself and it is the Four of Swords from the Universal Tarot. This is the card to symbolize recovery and healing. The last couple of days I am not feeling very well. I think I've got a touch of flu or a cold. So it is nothing serious but it is enough to drain me from my the last bits of leftover winters'energy. I do read everybody's blog but that is about it for now. My own cards are safely tucked  away, waiting for my recovery. I think it is good to step away from the cards when you're not feeling well.  I guess they would mirror my apathy more than anything else.
I don't know how long this will last; maybe a few days maybe a bit longer. I just wanted you all to know there is nothing to worry about and I hope to be back soon!

Storyteller is giving me back my dreams

Yesterday I drew the Four of Scrolls, just as the day before, as a reminder to try to stop worrying about things I cannot change. Since I had drawn this card already for my Solitary Tarot Challenge I pulled another card with the question how to accomplish this and I got the Storyteller, The Hermit of the Chrysalis Tarot. 

She is a wise old crone, a healer and a shapeshifter. She announces the need for introspection. In a previous post about The Storyteller, I've mentioned her ability to tell you the stories you need to hear, to share truth, wisdom and healing through ancient tales. But she is also a gatherer of stories; our stories. She asks you to confide in her, to tell her our worries, secrets and desires. When we are invited to share our story, our dreams, we have to turn inward to find them. By giving them words and thoughts they can be elevated to our consciousness.

I've been thinking/fretting a lot about  pursuing my dreams and goals lately, somehow afraid I had forgotten all about them but this morning I realized I haven’t been doing so bad at all. When I was meditating I found myself lying down on a bed of withered leaves from last autumn. I felt  weary of life and just wanted to sleep when an old crone passed by and stopped to sit down beside me leaning against a big old tree. She asked me to tell her what a was wrong and to share my dreams with her and when I did,  I realized that all the dreams of my youth had come true one way or the other. Life has way of adjusting and disguising them but in their core they were still my dreams. We only need to look more closely. Before she left she swept aside some of the leaves with her hand and there was a tiny green sprout from a very brave Crocus  All and all it really  was an empowering meditative journey.

Later this morning I pulled my card for the day and I got the Ravens (the Magician) These Ravens are called Hugin and Munin and they are Odin’s ravens. They are playing with pearls which stand for synchronicity. They live in the upper branches of the Tree of Life and today I cannot help but wonder if they have overheard me talking to the Storyteller and came to confirm I can trust my own instincts to make things happen according to my intention and my dreams.

P.S. did  I already tell you I adore this deck???? J

A tarot spread for the New Year

Yesterday I've stumbled upon a great spread for the new year. It was created by Kate from Daily TarotGirl and she has made a video about it too.  It’s not a twelve month spread but more an overall view for the coming year. I liked it so much, I've done this reading for my daughters as well as for myself. We were all amazed about the accuracy of the readings. Whether it was the spread, the deck or our own awesomeness, It was a great experience to do this together.J

I've used the Druidcraft Tarot (just as Kate did) because I am very fond of this deck and I tend to use it for larger spreads. Now that I've trimmed the borders the colors of all the cards together are so beautiful 

Druidcraft Tarot

1 The overall message of the reading:  - The Lovers

For me this is a card of feeling whole. A synergy of male and female; mind and heart. This card also urges me to really, fully connect to the things I want to accomplish and to go for it; to be passionate about it.

2 Your goals and dreams for 2014 and how do you make things happen? - Nine of Swords.
I want to let go of my anxiety and worries and to learn to trust in myself and in the future. No more long negative spiraling into the black hole!

3 What actions are needed to be successful?- Three of Swords.

I still have to process parts of my grief, pain and sadness to be able to move forward

4 What do you leave behind in 2013? -  Four of Swords.

I've been resting long enough! Now it’s time to pick myself up and make things happen

5 The theme of 2014 : -Two of Wands.

I was indecisive and insecure. I knew my current situation was solid and save. But I felt like there had to be more, only I was too afraid to make the next move.  Now is the time to step over the threshold and make a the first step

6 Where  will 2014 lead us? -  Three of Pentacles.

YAY! My creativity card. I am starting to feel more relaxed already when I am drawing and I want to improve that by drawing (or painting , writing, collage etc) more often and to really be thankful and happy with the things I will create in 2014

7 Obstacles for 2014: - Five of Cups.

I have to be careful not to be overwhelmed by feeling sorry for myself when I am feeling sad or anxious. It’s better to focus on what is still there than on what I've lost

8 Gifts and talents for 2014: -  Ace of Swords.

 I am developing a new, more positive way of thinking. My gifts are my mind, my words, my writing; Those are the gifts I can use to find clarity, new idea’s and insights.

9 Message from your guides before you step into the new year: -  The world.

Wow! What a beautiful message: “You are already whole: You are who you are supposed to be at this very moment. Everything is okay. Just take the next step and your path will unfold itself into the new year.”

I wish everybody to be able to take that next step into 2014

Happy New Year! 

New moon in December

The day before yesterday I’ve celebrated the new moon of December. I call this moon the Moon of Trees and its theme is letting go. About every tree has let go of its leaves. So it’s only natural to consider what to leave behind in this year, which has almost run to its end and what to bring with us into the new year.
Before I drew my cards I meditated. Since I am a little bit uncertain about how to view  Divinity, I called my circle by visualizing the elements and when I decided to go a second time around to strengthen my circle, I was surprised to see animals which can be associated with these element.  I think I was unconsciously triggered by the court cards of the Wildwood tarot.
Afterwards I drew these two cards from the Osho Zen tarot

Osho Zen Tarot

Release: Postponement (four of Swords) This keyword could be my middle name. I procrastinate mostly out of fear for failure but postponing is coloring my life in grays like the person and the scenery in this card. She wants to participate in life. She longs for life in full color. And so do I, but it’s hard to let go of fear and anxiety. And that is where the next card comes in…..
Embrace: Courage (Strength) For facing fears you need courage. But not the courage of a lion, like in the RW decks but the subtle courage of a tender flower. I have a choice: I can be as a seed stuck between the rocks or I can grow out to my full potential; a beautiful flower. For that is the only thing I have to do to face my fears: I have to have the courage to grow into the light and face life.
 As always I am astonished by the cards I’ve drawn. They are so fitting for my current situation. On a literal level the postponement card speaks of my creative insecurity and at the same time my longing to paint (The window could be a painting)
There’s this funny thing about growth: When you keep focusing on it, you can’t distinguish any change, but if you step back, let go and later on return you’ll notices the change, the growth. So this kind of courage is all about trust in your own ability to grow
The cards complement each other perfectly since Courage is a beautiful attribute to help to let go of postponement and to move forward without fear into the new year