The Gardener - A big announcement!

Today's card is the Gardener, aka The Empress, from the Gaian Tarot. This is a card of creativity and abundance and of sensuality and motherhood. I purposely picked this card for today's post because it perfectly illustrates what I am about to tell you.
Two months ago my eldest daughter Sabine and her partner came over to tell me that early November they were going to have a baby. Yes, my dear friends, I am going to be a grandmother or actually, I already am a grandmother. I've seen the first ultrasound of our little one and I have heard the heartbeat. So I feel my granny vibes grow stronger by the day. Next week we will learn if it is going to be a boy or a girl. I am happy either way but it is nice to address the baby with he or she, instead of it. We will also receive the next ultrasound picture. I am looking forward to seeing how our LO has grown.
I always knew they wanted to raise a family but when my SIL gave me a hug that day and said: "hello granny" my knees buckled, my eyes teared up and my world shifted in an instant.  I am so grateful, this little, already so precious baby has come into my life and also how (s)he opens uncharted areas of my heart and soul so effortlessly.

Ten of Cups – Blessing my loved ones

Today’s card is the Ten of Cups from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Traditionally we see a happy family in this card. A culmination of love in all its forms. Yet in this card we see an elderly Fae woman working her magic over a boiling cauldron. This card oozes good intent. With all her love, wisdom and experience she has gathered the herbs for her blessing spell and now when it starts to simmer, she feels the time is right to help the steam carry this loving energy towards her loved ones. Gently and gracefully she moves her hands and softly sings her blessing songs. 

This card reminds me I don’t need to be physically near my loved ones.  I can bless them and wish them well any time and any place.

So for today, I will make an extensive list with everyone dear to me so I can bless them and wish them well on the night of this full moon. A perfect time to work some magic and send my good wishes to all of you and many more…

Six of Swords- breathing out

My card for today is the Six of Swords from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. After having taken a break from Tarot for a few days, because I have been visiting my mother, it feels only natural to jump back in again with my all time favourite deck. It feels like a baby blanket after some very busy days. I wasn’t surprised by this card at all. I see myself coming home, travelling from turbulent waters to a complete rippleless part of the lake. A perfect place to still my mind and put myself at ease. In the little child, I see my little me who needs some extra time and care right now. I am so grateful to be able to accept that expecting things only will lead to disappointment, so I’d better step up myself and mother her for while; listen to her, seeing her for who she really is and what she needs right now from me. I am positive that when we return from this safe haven we both will sit up straight again with a big smile on our face.

Eight of Arrows – Keep Going

Today’s card is the Eight of Arrows (aka the Eight of Swords) from the Wildwood Tarot.  We see a young woman struggling on her journey. Eight broken arrows are lying in the snow. They are of no use to her anymore.  Although her path is challenging, cold and lonely, she keeps going and she doesn’t give up. Her staff and her lantern are symbols of hope and determination. I prefer this depiction over the Rider-Waite version where the woman is blindfolded and not able to leave the imprisonment of her own thoughts.

No, this young woman is painfully aware of the brokenness of her arrows and how she has to rephrase her view of life, her feelings and ideas, her story. Often this is a lonely road to travel. Of course, we can ask for advice but the actual task, the decision to move forward,  is ours. This is, in my opinion, an act of great courage. 

This week we had a family get together to celebrate our wedding anniversary. This day is always filled with many contra dictionary feelings which leave me a bit shattered and down. Outdated expectations and missed opportunities are almost certain to come up on days like this. But although I am not feeling at my best. I do know it is best for me to keep going and to keep busy.

Guardian of Water - Rest in my embrace

After having been mothering my mother for a couple of days because she isn’t feeling all too well, the Guardian of Water from the Gaian Tarot is a very welcome card to receive for this weekend. When our mothers aren’t capable of mothering anymore, it is up to us to find an other source of this energy to replenish our Inner Child’s cup from time to time. Today this Guardian invites me to join her in the water, to rest in her soft motherly embrace. She nurtures us with compassion, love and intuitive knowing. Her siren song to unburden our sorrows and anxieties is alluring. It is so easy to confide in her because she always forgives our wrongdoings and unkind thoughts.

God(dess) knows I need this today. I had lots of plan for when I got home again but that was a bit too optimistic. This weekend is for  rest and self-care which involves writing this post, reading, meditating, walking, drinking coffee, …. Oh no, that sound like making plans again. This weekend I am going to try to take it moment by moment and really trying to listen to what I need right here and now.

I hope you all will have a wonderful weekend too!

Page of Wands – be mindful of the little sparks

This morning we have been on family chestnut hunt in a beautiful nearby park.  The perfect place to welcome Fall into our land. Lots of huge old trees, a pond, and loads of chestnuts. Each autumn they give me that giddy childlike feeling of wanting them all!!.

When we returned home I was very tired, not only from this morning but last week was a busy week as well. So I wasn’t surprised when I drew this particularly Page of Wands from the Ravens prophecy tarot. This Page is depicted as a lit match in the dark and immediately I heard the song: "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine" . This spark of fire, with so little fuel to keep on burning has to be protected and shielded from draft and wind at all cause. It might go out any moment.  But when I am able to protect this little match, it might also be the start of a crackling hearth fire.

For now any idea or new project which comes to mind I will jot down in my journal for another day. I will not lose it to fatigue or lack of enthusiasm. 

King of Pentacles – Our Pater Familias came to the party

Today’s card is the King of Pentacles from the Original Rider Waite Tarot, the Wild Unknown Tarot and the Wildwood Tarot. He is the patriarch, the provider and the defender of the family. He is strong, confident, skillful and  just. The perfect leader of his pack or herd.

For me not always an easy court card to interpret but for today it reminds me of my dad. “Family comes first” was his credo. He has worked his whole life hard to provide for us and after he had retired he could find joy in the simple pleasures of life: coffee, a walk, good book etc.  Yesterday it was M. her birthday and although he isn’t with us anymore in a way he was very present. Somehow it started when in the morning I gave M a kiss to congratulate her with her birthday. Suddenly I saw such a strong resemblance of my dad in her, which I’d never seen before because she is the spitting image of my mother and me. Throughout the day, when other family members arrived,  we kept seeing other family resemblances in one another. Some of us who were always compared to my mom suddenly also looked like my dad or vice versa but one way or another my dad was always part of the conversation. The King of Pentacles from the Original Rider Waite Tarot is connected to the earth by an overgrowth of winding and binding vines. This symbolizes today for me my dad is always with us; connected to us through his Love for us and his  Dna in us. And if  miss him we only have to look in our heart for him or ...in the mirror

Child of Earth - Slow Knitting

Today’s card is the Child of Earth from the Gaian Tarot. After a two well deserved Four of Air days, it is time to start engaging with the world again.  Last weekend I was away to attend a family weekend for my mother’s birthday and you all know how straining these social events can be for me. I always need some time to replenish afterwards but today I almost feel like my old self again. This child’s energy is definitely helping me. The first things that came to mind  when I drew this card were: knitting (green sweater), cuddling with Jofee (little rabbit), eating fresh fruit (apple) and spending more time outside. After some longer consideration this card also reminded me of being mindful and experiencing the outside world with our senses. Life can be felt, seen, tasted, heard and smelled. This give us such an more balanced understanding of life than by only thinking about it. The Child of Earth invites us to embrace our beginners mind and approach our day with an attitude of eagerness and openness and without preconceptions.

As you all know by now I am crocheting and knitting a lot lately. I have to say I can do both things very rapidly but and one thing that helps me to really be present is to watch closely how I knit very slowly, stitch by stitch, and how my fingers lead the yarn and how very gradually my knitting grows larger. This is such a sensory activity. I smell and feel the yarn (whool), I see what I do and I hear the ticking  of my needles and no, I don’t taste it;  that part  is taken care of by my coffee and biscuits.

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few."

What is already in you can overcome any challenge

It’s been a challenging week. Lots of family stuff going on which culminated in my husband's dental chirurgie under general anesthesia. Everything went perfectly fine but him undergoing this procedure was a pretty daunting prospect for both of us

Since all this has taken a lot of my energy, the advice from my previous posts on how to embrace my creativity and face the always accompanying  fear have been left untried.

For today again I feel myself encouraged to find my bliss and to let no fear withhold me to experience the joy of creating.

My card for today is “What is already with you” from the Sacred Rebels Oracle. This card tells me I don’t need to look elsewhere for strength and courage because all these qualities are already within me. I just need to acknowledge and embrace them and accept them as an intrinsic part of me. The guidebook recommends to start with small steps and then feel how you grow from the inside out. It starts like a flutter but gradually you have to let it fly free and surrender to who you are supposed to be.

The accompanying card is Mountain from the Gilded Reverie Lenormand. Although this mountain seems far too high to climb it’s a piece of cake when you have wings. Mountains and other kinds of roadblocks can be quite disheartening but when you discover your wings you’ll be free to soar the sky.

"I believe I can fly

I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it every night and day

Spread my wings and fly away

I believe I can soar"

R.Kelly

Something different

As some of you already might know, both my girls attended a Waldorf school when they were young. One of the things which attracted us to this school system was their attention for an inviting ambiance and the use of natural materials. 

When my eldest was four she was introduced to the famous Waldorf dolls and wanted one for  herself. Luckily a doll makers course was starting soon after her discovery and there I learned how to make  all kind of different cloth dolls. S was so happy with her "Rapunzel"  and not so long after that M got one for herself too. 

Some years later (in the Fall of 2000) I got the idea to make one for myself. This was the kind of doll I always wanted as a little girl: so soft and pliable. So I made my inner little girl a doll and I named her “Saar” (Sarah). The adult part of me was delighted to have a doll for myself to dress up and I started to make her a wardrobe of her own. This has grown into a hobby of mine which I  amuse myself with off and on. After several months of abandonment I picked her up again, freshened up her face with watercolor pencils and made her a knitted dress with crocheted shoes.

Since I like to write about my crafts on this blog too, I thought it might be fun to share this part of me as well

The Ace of Swords – Finding Truth

For today I’ve drawn the Ace of Swords from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Immediately some keywords come to mind: new perspective and ideas, mental clarity and truth.

Looking at this image I noticed that the Heron is looking to his left, which is often seen as the direction of the past, of everything what has been before.  Maybe we can find mental clarity and truth when we face our past and learn from all the experience we’ve had and the lessons we’ve learned.

By embracing and accepting our past new doors will open for us; new opportunities to find the truth or parts of it.

When we try to notice the smallest changes and movements around us and the whispers of our soul within us then we will be able to distinguish truth from illusion. Little by little we gather and learn...

So what will I find when I quiet down and listen.... The Three of Wands: whatever has happened or whatever will happen the love for my family is what drives me to be a better person then I was yesterday.

Where do we go from here?

It freezing cold outside and this frosty weather is a perfect representation of how I feel lately. As you all know S is moving out and is very busy in her new house. The actual move is scheduled in about two weeks and that leaves me in a kind of stasis: a “before and after the move” way of thinking. 

The two cards I’ve drawn for today from the Original Rider Waite Tarot, depict the upcoming changes in our lives very well: The Page of Wands is eager to try out new things. He isn’t quite clear about the how and the why but he does know he wants something new and exciting. The Chariot tells us to find our way into the world, follow our dreams and pursuit our goals. It speaks about living authentically and finding our purpose in life. Fortunately this cards holds the promise of success.

The three of us are on the threshold of a new phase in our lives. S is moving out and M and I are about to find  a new way of living together. Also we have to learn  to live without each other. Not to see and talk to one and other on daily basis. It will probably take some time to get used to all of these changes.  

But for now it is still freezing  outside and everything stays the same for a little while longer

Let it Go!

Today’s cards are Strength and The Hanged Man from the Wild Unknown Tarot by Kim Krans. 

The first thing which came to mind, when I saw these two cards together was the famous song from Frozen: "Let it go".

First I pulled The Strength card. In this version of Strength we see only the Lion. The maiden is represented by the rose. The lion is  gentle holding our higher self between the softness of his lips. The sun of consciousness is shining upon them. In this card we have fully integrated our more untamed, wild and powerful self  with the more conscious parts of ourselves. We even trust it to take over if needed. 

So I asked for what cause I needed Strength and I pulled The Hanged Man. The bat is hanging upside down. His feet are in the dark, his head is in the light. Seeing things from a different perspective can provide you with some illuminating insights.... That was the moment I started humming “Let it go”

This is the best advice I can get from my cards for the coming month. In two weeks my SIL is starting his new job. then he will move in with us until S and he have found a place of their own. And let’s not forget the upcoming holidays….

The sun - Feeling good

After my last post, the Sun card from the Gaian Tarot as my daily draw, couldn’t be more appropriate. Since my impromptu little art session I feel so much more relaxed. It is if all my windows are opened and fresh air is coming in. Look how the woman in red is dancing in the sunlight. She is totally engaged in her dancing and enjoying the flow of her movements. There is nothing but the here and now and the joy of being alive.

This is the card of the great YES; a card of happiness, celebration joy and everything good and optimistic you can think of. It is so important to understand we can all feel this way if we are brave enough to take the necessary choices and actions. Happiness is our natural state of being. When are able to let go of our excess need of control and our rigid belief systems it will surface effortlessly

This weekend I am going to celebrate my mother’s birthday.  My brothers will be there too, so it also will be a family reunion. I intent to spend this time together with an open heart, a smile on my face and without any expectations

I wish you all a lovely sunny weekend and I’ll see you again next week

Hugs

P.S I've been on Instagram for a few weeks now and I would love to follow my readers. So if would like me to, please leave your Instagram in the comments

Maker Ten and The Dreamer – a Dream of Abundance and Stability

Today’s cards are a very appropriate for the Summer Solstice: the Maker Ten and the Dreamer of the Tarot of the Sidhe. And yes the deck is in honor of the Solstice too!

First let’s look at the Maker Ten. This is a card of prosperity, abundance and stability. An important man is about to be crowned as leader because of his accomplishments for the community. It is a happy occasion with food and drinks and many merry Fae who came to honor this man. 

“The crown was forged by Maker King

And to him Fortune’s gifts we bring

For all will flourish in this land

Under our noble leader’s hand”

(E. Carding)

But the second card makes me wonder if this happening is more about what the Fae people want than about the wishes of their leader. The blazing sunlight is illuminating the mind of The Dreamer. I get the impression the leader's mind is already focusing on his next project or idea. Something beneficial for his people no doubt and he will be glad that tomorrow he can go about business as usual.

“All things are born in the land of Dream

In an insubstantial airy gleam

In the eternal Dreamer’s golden mind

As pure as one by Gods Divin’d”

(E. Carding)

It strikes me that this group resembles my family very much: a father, a mother and three children

The Fae man reminds me of my father, the provider of his family, a tower of strength for all of us. He was not so keen on celebrations with himself as the center of attention.  He was a gentle, modest and such an intelligent man. I miss him and not only today on Father’s day…

Queen of cups – walking the waves

Today’s card is the Queen of Cups from the Shadowscapes Tarot. I absolutely love this depiction of the Queen of Cups. She has risen from her throne and entered her kingdom. Fearlessly and with confidence, she is walking the waves, following a path which is unfolding for her step by step. Without a plan or road map, just guided by her intuition, she puts one foot before the other and with every step a sea turtle is there, to carry her as her stepping stone. She is totally aligned with her intuition, her feelings and emotions. This is her realm. This is her home. The stars in the sky will guide her. They symbolize wisdom from days past and  hope for the future.  In this card everything is fluid: the sea, the standing stones in the background, the sky, her glowing creative imagination: all the elements are present and flowing naturally into one another.

Tomorrow I am going to visit my mother for a few days. When we are together we are both very much like this queen, each in our very own way.  I do hope my intuition will guide me to put my feet on solid places and be kind and loving, while wading through this watery weekend.  I just want to be there and enjoy her company without expecting anything in return.  I want to focus on our time spend together instead of on how I would have wanted it to be.

So when I return home again I will be fulfilled and happy to have been there for her, like she has been there for me for so long!

So see you all next week! 

Queen of Wands - getting back into the swing of things

Yesterday I came home from a visit to my mother and it made me very happy she’s had a lovely time. There is probable in each woman’s life a time when we have to acknowledge our mother is past mothering and when we visit her we give our love and time freely and patiently without the expectation of feeling nurtured and being fully accepted for who we are today. Being free from expectation is hard, so when I returned home I felt rather tired. This morning I didn't feel like doing anything but just sit and rest. But my mind kept churning over my experiences from the last couple of days and since I didn't want to sulk and pity myself any longer, I pulled a card for some comfort and support and I pulled the Queen of Wands from the Shadowscapes Tarot. Here we see the queen playing on her living harp. All the denizens of the forest gather around to listen to her uplifting tunes. Curling leaves are unfolding. The earth is moving in spirals, inwards and outward .Nobody and nothing in her presence can muck about and pout while her fingers are dancing across the strings. I cannot identify with this queen,not yet but she is a great inspiration to follow the humming energy of my creativity which always makes me happy. So now I am going upstairs to work on a painting: adding some layers of paint and pastels. And I am sure I can shake this feeling of disillusion.

Eight of Cups - My Christmas talisman

It is the day after Christmas and I feel good. Christmas is for me, as it is probable for many of you a Holiday which can bring out a lot of mixed feelings and expectations. Because of that, I thought it would be wise to have some sort of an anchor or talisman to hold on too.  A kind of lifesaver so to speak. And  as a representation of this I choose the Eight of cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. In this card I see myself wearing a protective indigo cloak, holding a rod of perseverance and climbing up towards a breathing space. I am leaving my loved ones for a moment behind with their filled cups and enough to eat and I am off to my refuge. Most likely my little room upstairs, or even an unnecessary visit to the toilet. When a physical  retreat isn't an option there is always that safe place in my mind. A  little nook  with my comfy chair near a softly burning hearth where I can knit or just sit and be quiet, watching the flames and listening to the crackle of the fire. Breathing in, breathing out and I am there…. Just for a minute or two.....

Christmas went well, my husband was happy and we were happy for him. Later on in the evening we have watched  a  movie together and that was day one. This morning I went to visit my husband on my own which was new because he always visits us twice with Christmas. But this year we wanted to try to make a change which I thought would benefit us all. (And it did!)

And now I am blogging in a quiet peaceful room where everyone is doing their own thing and it is good and I love it J

Ace of Swords – Keeping my head clear

For today I've dawn the Ace of Swords from the Original Rider Waite Tarot: this card is all about having  a clear vision, bright ideas and deciding what is fair. But then I noticed how a crown is held on the tip of the sword:

Today for me this card is also about taking over the crown. Being the first in charge and decide how things are organized best.

Both my girls came down with a nasty cold (snotty and feverish and a soar throat). S (poor girl) has to go work until 8 PM (I will drive her)  and M is resting/sleeping on the couch.

Yes, that leaves me in charge of the pack. Today I have to decide about right and wrong and be a fair judge for all of us(especially for our naughty and stubborn little boy). I also have to come up with some clever ideas to make this a bit easy on me. so no cooking but a lot of orange juice should be enough. I've already done my grocery shopping while Jofee was asleep an my girls were “watching” him. Of course I want set some personal time for myself aside too: To play in my new notebook or read some pages from “Shadow of Night” part two of the All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness.  A book a  about witches, vampires, daemons time walking and lots of other mystical ingredients (yummy)

And last but not least I want to keep my head clear from murky pitiful thoughts of “poor me”. It is what it is and I have to deal with it as good as I can. There is no need for perfection just for loving kindness for all four of us

Seven of Pentacles – Practicing Patience

For today,  before I pulled a card from my Original Rider Waite Tarot, I've asked what we needed the most to make this day a wonderful day.

And I've got the Seven of pentacles: Patience, patience, patience!

Usually I like my life to be organized and scheduled. Setting out time for work, for relaxation, for making art etc. if I would try to maintain this quest for order I would get very frustrated because with a little puppy around the house, order is nowhere to be found. We follow his schedule of playing, eating, and sleeping and try to adjust it little by little to how it fits us best. This requires a lot of patience and thought. Like the pentacles in this picture take their time to ripen, it takes also time for a puppy to grow up and for us to get used to this new situation. I think in the beginning we did expect too much of him and luckily very soon we realized how little he still is. It is just a little baby. And taking that in consideration, he is already so clever: He pees and poops on an old newspaper on the kitchen floor and sits when asked. He comes when we call him and when he is tired he is falling asleep between the feet of one of us. Then we carry him to his bench where he continues to sleep. He is a bundle of joy. We talk about this new way of living a lot and although it is very tiring we do feel Jofee is bringing a lot of positive and lively energy to our family. And after each day we feel fulfilled, and happy with how he is developing and is experiencing and learning new things.