For today I've drawn the Five Of Rainbows (Pentacles) from the Osho Zen tarot.
“A small child is standing on one side of a gate, looking through it. He is so small, and so convinced that he cannot get through. He cannot see that the chain holding the gate is not locked; all he has to do is open it.
Whenever we feel 'left out', or excluded, it brings up this feeling of being a small, helpless child. It is not surprising, as the feeling is deeply rooted in our earliest childhood experiences. The problem is that, because it is so deeply rooted, it plays over and over again, like a tape, in our lives.”
This card is telling me to stop doubting myself. To stop imagining what other people might think of me. I have been disappointed in people many times, many ways. Always thinking there had to be something wrong with me. That I wasn't good enough. I was raised to be a people pleaser and when I didn't feel accepted I always thought I hadn't done enough to get them to like me. When I look at this card I even think maybe the chain is the child’s way of keeping the bad world outside; afraid to get hurt again.
But lately I have come to realize there is nothing wrong with me. I am good just the way I am right now. I've learned to accept and yes, to truly love myself. I know I am precious and worthy of Love. So let’s open the gate and step into the world full of rainbow colors!