Since yesterday I have been thinking a lot about how to become more authentic and true to who I really am. This was brought about by several events during the day: reading Carolyn’s post about the Inner Child, reaching the chapter about Authenticity in “The gifts of imperfection” by Brene Brown and becoming painfully aware of my “obligation” to be creative.
All this is strongly encouraging me to find out what it is I really want, as opposed to what I think I should want. Life can be so much more than ticking of boxes, even if they represent enjoyable activities.
I have to admit I do find it a bit scary; maybe I don’t want to know what I really want or who I really am but then again I don’t like this feeling either.
One thing which is in my opinion crucial to touch on this deeper layer is to live more mindfully and to make a full stop when a choice has to be made. This way we have the time to listen to our inner wisdom and to our inner child. I strongly belief that both of them are beyond pleasing and pretending.
Also I think tarot can be a great tool to trigger deeper buried desires and needs, especially when you read the cards purely intuitively. So I have pulled two cards for today:
What do I think I want? Queen of Wands
I think I want to be a passionate, outgoing, confident and creative woman. I want to speak up and to be heard. I want to be unafraid of failure as well as of success. I want tot breath fire with my words.
As lovely and juicy this all may sound maybe this is not really who I am at this moment and also not who I aspire to be for now.
What do I really want? The Sun
I do like the become more self aware and to shed some light over the shadowy parts of my personality. My inner child seems to be in dire need of some sunshine lately. I want to learn more about who I am and to see this as the beginning of a journey within, which will bring me more wisdom, joy and happiness than pretending to be something I am not. Also I want to keep safe everything I learn along the way safe and protect it from old habitual thinking patterns. So I will keep the light of the Sun close to my heart and let it illuminate my way.
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are” Brene Brown