As you all know, I haven’t been feeling so well lately. Also I have been considering to take a short hiatus from blogging and social media all together. Some days it feels like I am just going through the motions and ticking of my daily boxes. The last two days I have been pampering myself and it felt really good: listening to music, reading books, drinking coffee, nibbling on biscuits, taking long showers and so forth. But even pampering gets boring, although I am still not there yet. So I asked my cards for advice on where to go from here.
The Three of Pentacles came up: Creativity shared with friends. No Hermit or Four of Swords, which are my go-to cards in a situation like this. The other card which came up was the Ace of Wands: A budding wand, filled with so much potential. But be careful not to nip all these juicy ideas in the bud. Choose one and cherish is like a new born child.
So here I am again with another blog post thanks to my “cardboard therapist” and it actually feels good to write this; sharing how it is right now and not pretending to be something I am not. Feeling like this often fills me with shame and/or guilt, because how can I permit myself these feelings when so many live in much more dire circumstances than I do. But it is what it is and I know from experience I will get better, probable sooner than later, because I’ve learned to recognize the signs early on.
Feeling like this confronts me with difficult lesson in self love. It is so easy to love and embrace who we are when all is well and life is on the upside but this lesson is about the hardest part: loving ourselves when we are faced with parts of ourselves we don’t like at all and are often embarrassed about.
“I will be gentle with myself and I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go” Karin Drucker