Five of Pentacles - Poor me!

Today’s card is the Five of Pentacles from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. This is the card of lack and poverty in whatever way we can imagine: Physical health, time, money, housing, stuff (more tarotdecks  J) etc. 

I often call this card: My “poor me” card, because even though sometimes I do feel like the Five of Pentacles, objectively I don’t have any reason to. I have a house, I have food on the table, I am healthy  and I have time enough to do the things I love. Conclusion: If I have the energy of this card hovering over me, it is usually because of the sad stories I tell myself: I am too tired, I am not fit enough, I am too busy, I don’t l have the money to buy myself those beautiful things other people have etc.

So  I asked my cards what to do next and I got the Four of Pentacles.  This was not at all what I expected. This card is often seen as the miser card, the card of thrift and greed. At first I thought I should be more grateful for what I do have instead of letting myself be put down by my own sense of lack. Of course this always a good thing to do but besides that, this card reminds me of clinging to the stories I tell myself over and over again. Even though scarcity is most often experienced in the physical world, I think it usually is the result of what we think. Imagine all the things the guy in the Four of Pentacles is telling himself. He is still such a long way from the sharing position of the Six of Pentacles. 

For today I will try to let go of the internal messages of lack, so the sun can come out to melt the snow in my card of the day.

New moon in July : Theme - Four of Pentacles

For this new Moon I’ve only drawn one card for the theme of this lunation and it happens to be one of the same cards as in yesterday’s spread: the Four of Pentacles from the Original Rider Waite Tarot.  Since it is a Theme for the month card I thought it would be wise to view this card from various angles, using my Daily draw exercise:

Some keywords are: Structure, greed, protection, hoarding, frugality

What is the gift ?Being grateful for the abundance of your belonging and resources

What is the challenge? Not to become over possessive of your stuff, which can easily turn in to greed and hoarding

What  are you grateful for? I am grateful for having enough resources to live without concerns for lack or scarcity.

Journaling prompt: In what ways am I aware of my own worth and how do I acknowledge this?

I remember a time when  I got my first piggy bank and how I cried when I wasn’t allowed to get my money back. I was a “big spender” when I was a kid.

Affirmation: “I use the abundance in my life wisely and compassionately” James Ricklef.

Quote: We make ourselves rich by making our wants few.” H.D. Thoreau

Naming the Goddess: She who bestows her blessings freely and without restraint.

What stands out the most and why? He only has four pentacles to guard. I think the more we have, the more energy it takes to take care of our possessions. This card today fits well in my longing for a more simple and decluttered lifestyle. Just this morning M and I have brought a carload of  stuff and rubbish to the dump. It felt so freeing to let go of it all and make our home more spacious. This card is also a warning not to replace this pile of junk with other stuff. Ah all those temptations… I know they won’t make me more happy in the long run.

Also I want to be more aware of my own fluctuating energy levels and not to feel so guilty if I keep some of my energy for myself when I need it. Saying "No" is still very difficult for me....(see journaling prompt)

All thing considered I think the Four of Pentacles will prove to be a great theme for the coming weeks.

Seven of Pentacles - Permission to take a step back

Yesterday I asked for my daily draw: “what do I give myself permission for?” and I got the Seven of Pentacles. What a welcome card it was. I am not feeling too well lately and I this card is telling me not to get worked up about the things I think I need to do but rather take a step back and see how far I’ve come already; to really appreciate what I have accomplished. Also this card grants me permission to think about how to move forward

Since the Seven of Pentacles really hit home for me, I decided to make it a part of the three card spread:

Where do I come from? The four of Pentacles. No wonder I am so tired lately. Clinging to what energy, time and resources I have left is energetically draining me. This is a card of fear for scarcity, the inability to let go of controlling everything and the lack of trust that the Universe will provide what I need the most.

Where am I now? the Seven of Pentacles. A perfect card for after the Four of Pentacles, because we all know what will happen when the Four of Pentacles becomes a Five of Pentacles !!! So taking a step back during whatever you are doing, to find out how your are doing is always smart thing to do.

Where am I going? The six of Pentacles. The flow of resources. It is not important what our position is in this flow as long as the resources are flowing from one to the other. Sometimes we are giving freely and sometimes we have to ask  for help. Maybe that is a good thing to consider too when we are taking that step back; do we need help in any way? So hard to ask but such a gift to our loved ones because how will they know what we need if we don’t speak up? And how will we know what we need if we don’t take a moment to find out?

These pentacles are giving me a lot to think about but not without wishing all my American readers a happy Fourth of July!

What does Tarot mean to me?

Today I had an interesting conversation with M about which place Tarot has in my life. Words as hobby, interest, obsession, collecting or hoarding, were mentioned. Recently I have shared with you my craving for new stuff etc.  I still think it is not healthy to give in to every budding desire but sometimes there are decks out there you just can’t say no too. For me this is the Ravens prophecy tarot By Maggie Stiefvater. So this afternoon after long consideration I pushed the buy button and I honestly feel so good about it.

To shed some light over the question: “What does tarot mean to me” I pulled three cards from the Anna K Tarot:

Three of Pentacles. My all time creativity card. Tarot opens for me the door to the creative part of my mind. With each  drawn card there is a question asked and an answer needed. Each time a different answer is required, depending on the question, the surrounding cards or the mood of the reader. Tarot is for me the  Book  of Life made of 78 cards and it’s never finished. 

The other beautiful aspect of this card is the sharing of this creative outlet with other likeminded people and to learn from one another and enjoy each other’s work.

Four of Swords  This card is all about the stories we can create with the cards to tell ourselves when we are troubled. These stories mirror our deepest thoughts and fears. They unlock our unconscious and reveal what is hidden in the abyss. Eventually this will bring us healing and peace of mind.

Four of Pentacles  when I pulled this card I had to laugh out loud. My deck couldn’t have overlooked this aspect. This card urges me to walk the fine line between hoarding and selective collecting

I enjoy playing with my decks a lot. Holding them, shuffling them, flipping through them. Al these things are very relaxing for me. So reading this card more positively I would say I really do enjoy having a physical deck collection.

Seeing the two fours here also made me realize how much support and stability Tarot has brought into my life especially during life’s (inevitable) challenges.

What does tarot mean to you?

Four of Pentacles - The courage to let go

Almost finished. Only one day to go of the Shadow Work October challenge by Mnomquah. For today we are asked to revisited how we started out on our journey at  the beginning of this month and try to assess how far we’ve come, what we learned and how much work still lies ahead.

To answer these questions I've picked up my Crystal Visions Tarot (long time no see) and I drew the Four of Pentacles. This card holds the answer to about every aspect of my evaluation. I started this journey scared and insecure. Holding on to anything that would make me feel safe, even if it was preventing me to grow. This month I’ve learned to let go of my anxiety and embrace my inner fire, my creativity again.

Deep in the forest,behind the tree we see an inviting light shining bright. Beneath the tree gems and gold are lying all around, waiting to be admired and played with. All this little faery  has to do is to let go of his pentacles, jump on the ground and see how the magical treasures are freely scattered throughout the forest.

This card is also a warning not to get to attached to my happy feeling and creative flow because then they could easily get calcified as: “this is how it always supposed to be”  It is so tempting for this fairy to try to gather all these crystals and gems and get back into his tree again. For now I hope he will be happy to enjoy watching them, playing with them and keep on walking towards the light in forest, where probable even more shiny precious wonders are to be found.

Four of Stones - emptying my drawer

For today I've pulled the Four of Stones from the Chrysalis Tarot. The keyword for this card is “Possessions” which is beautifully depicted in this card as a bejeweled chest probable filled whatever stuff is most prized in your opinion.

I pulled this card when I was rummaging through my tarot drawer and my drawer with “magical stuff, like altar cloths, candles and crystals etc. I am very fond of these things. Playing with them, handling them is almost soothing. But I wonder if I am letting these items blocking my way to what really matters? The chest in the card is  “blocking the pathway of self-understanding.” Do I need these things to feel spiritually connected and if so: Why and to what extent?

Maybe because I am a very Swordy type of person, I think I need these items to instantly connect with Spirit, without having to read lengthy prayers, ritual texts or informative books. Smelling incense instantly puts me in the right mindset. Touching a crystal relaxes me and oh my goodness, playing with my cards is such a wonderful way to access my intuition. Maybe it isn't the fact we use these tools which might be hindering us, but more the way how we perceive them. They are nice but not necessary. They are not magical themselves but they can help to evoke the magic within us. Holding a mala while chanting is nice but buying the next perfect mala isn’t going to improve this practice. I wonder how I would feel if I would empty my chest/ drawer/room for one week and only keep three things….: one deck, one crystal,  one candle………..

Ten of Stones - Beware of possessive behavior

The Ten of Stones from the Chrysalis tarot is reminding me a bit of the Four of Pentacles. Look at this lovely, intensely satisfied figure with his beautiful crystals. He has so many of them. He is short of hands and he has to use both feet to hold on to the rest of his collection. Being so overly occupied with his prized possessions, he isn't able to go anywhere anymore. But he is chuckling to himself and is perfectly happy where he is. And I suppose he has been there for quite a while because his hair is entwined with the shrubs at either side of him and also with the Celtic decorations in the background.

The message of this card is quite clear: It is okay to be happy with your stuff, your physical routine, your work etc, as long as you stay aware of it's real value. Everything physical is here to please and support you but not to own you. Too much stuff can suffocate you. As can a too rigid health regime or the ambition for yet another promotion. We have to set our priorities straight and as long as we keep moving and changing, we can keep growing. And our hair shall blow freely in the wind J

"what you possess in the world will be found at the day of your death to belong to someone else. but what you are will be yours forever. H.v.Dyke

Four of Pentacles - feeling safe

For today I've drawn the Four Of Pentacles from The Hidden Realm Tarot. This is the third card in a row I pull form this deck and I rather like the feeling of flow this is giving me.

This Four of Pentacles has a different depiction than we are used to see on this card. No miser, no greediness, but instead a badger guarding her young. They are sleeping safe in the burrow their mother has dug out for them in the earth. The Earth who is a Mother for us all. She has chosen a place nearby the standing stones. Did she feel the energy radiating from these old and special place? Who knows. She is watching her litter carefully for there is nothing more precious in the world to her.

Without a doubt I can most easily identify with  mother Badger but sometimes I yearn for the comforting security her litter is experiencing in their burrow and for somebody who looks after me….

After some precarious times and more to come (dental issues) it is good to pause, rest and re-energize while She is watching over us. 

“I am safe; all is well”

A Rebirth tarot Spread for Ostara

I’ve found an amazing small tarot spread for this Holiday on Chloe’s blog “InnerWhispers”.There you can read how she was inspired by the Rebirth card from the Druidcraft Tarot to create this spread.  I love three card spreads because I like my spreads to be small and concise. I love to be able to see in one glance what the cards are telling me.

The questions for the Rebirth spread are:

1 What darkness am I leaving behind?
2 What new hope is approaching?
3 What can help me find my bearings at this time?

For this spread I've used my brand new Original Rider Waite Tarot for the first time. I was so happy to finally find the time to work with it. Al the gardening and shopping for flowers and plants and fertilizer has taken up a lot of my time and energy. So here are the cards I’ve drawn for this spread:

The Original Rider Waite Tarot

1 What darkness am I leaving behind? – Ten of Swords

Well I don’t think it can’t get any clearer than this. I am leaving behind the darkness of my despair and anxiety, which has been trying to take root these last few weeks. But dawn is slowly breaking, so there is hope; there is always hope.

2 What new hope is approaching? – Four of Pentacles

This was quite a confusing card but I can read it as my growing awareness of letting go of material desires to ease and numb my pain. These kind of “treats and presents” don’t sustain or heal me but rather they encourage my cravings for more.

3 What can help me find my bearings at this time? – The Fool

The Fool couldn't be a better guide for my rebirth in this season.  I love the way the dawn in the Ten of Swords has changed in a bright new day. The energy of this card is fresh, careless, free and  a bit naive. I can hardly remember when I have felt like that: without worries or fear. Perhaps when I was a lot younger and the world was at my feet. Life could be so much more adventurous and fun if I would let The Fool take me by the hand and let him walk with me step by step; moment by moment

Hold on to what you love

Crystal Visions Tarot

After a day to recover; feeling somewhat down and tired (Christmas blues), I pulled myself a card from the Crystal Visions Tarot. My go to deck when I’m feeling slightly vulnerable. It's such a gentle lovely deck with a soothing color palette. I’ve got The Four of Pentacles. What a practical card for the last day before Christmas. It is to me a warning not to spend too much on food and drinks (we don’t do gifts with Christmas) I think I'm rather frugal most of the times, but now and then you have to slacken the reins. But when I look a little bit longer, I can sympathize on a deeper level with this creature in the tree. His is anxious to lose his pentacles. Pentacles represent not only money but also physical health and everything in the material world. Sometimes we just do need things to feel good. They comfort us. It can be food or a deck but also a touch, a hug, a walk, a shower, music; everything that is soft and caring for the senses (did you know I sometimes sniff at my decks or books) In my opinion we should hold on to those delights as long as we're able too. We live in this world so we’d better enjoy it. I think when you live your life with all your senses wide open you are living it to the fullest. This little guy in the trees did deserve it to not be  compared with Scrooge just before Christmas. So I think I will take his advice and enjoy my things and experiences with more regard and gratefulness

New moon in October

This new moon before I drew my cards, I’ve read my journal pages of last month. This is for me a way to take stock of what has happened, what was important? What did I experience, accomplish and struggled with. This is a time for reflection; of releasing and holding on.

After I’d lit my candle and some incense, I sat down for a short meditation. Just to clear my mind and to calm down. I always use some kinds of prayer beads (a topic for another post) The fiddling with the beads makes it easier to find my center. After that I shuffled the cards of the Osho Zen Tarot:

Osho Zen Tarot

Let go: The Miser - Oops, that was a theme of last month. I want too many decks. Surfing over the internet is changing me in a potential hoarder L. There’re so many beautiful decks out there, but I can’t have them all. This miser isn't even looking at her stuff and enjoying it. She’s on the lookout for predators or perhaps glancing for more stuff. First I want to get to know the decks I've bought recently.

Embrace: Possibilities. Well that’s a card I welcome in my life with my arms wide open. After trying last month to release the eight of swords mentality and throwing my blindfold away, I’m now curious about what possibilities I can find when I’m watching my life and its options in a birds view. Keeping my distance can be very healthy for me; don’t jump in too soon. (don’t buy everything in a whim) After sound considerations I can make my decisions with a clear head (I still have that key J) I’m always happy to see this card in a reading. It is opening doors for me.