Two of Swords – Listen to your heart

Today’s card is the Two of Swords from the Anna K Tarot. Instead of the usual blindfolded woman the man in the depiction is walking away from his swords. Maybe he is hoping when he pretends they are not there he doesn’t have to deal with them. But it is obvious this isn’t working: the sand from the beach outside has found its way into the room, the floor is cracking, the waves high and from the anxious look on his face I am sure he knows. It is a new moon, the perfect time for new beginnings and facing his responsibilities 

Often when we try to make up our mind with only our intellect our decision doesn’t feel quite right. A little voice starts nagging us. Although we have decided, we are still doubting if we did the right thing. Only when head and heart are both being heard a balanced decision can be made and the man in Two of Swords  can go home to the Ten of Pentacles, where he can enjoy the simple things of life with his family. There he will experience a peace of mind which he thought he had lost in the tidal waves of the stormy sea.

The King of Swords needs to loosen up

My card for today is the King of Swords from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. It is not the first time this week the King of Swords is passing by. But today I finally understood why it is he is paying me a visit so frequently. 

Lately there are so many things on my mind; so many choices to be made. And don’t fret, nothing life threatening or life changing is going on, it is just me and my constant need for control who wants to organize and structure her life. Questions like: what journal do I use, do I type or write by hand? Do I paint in my small art journal or in my larger one? Do I meditate in the morning or in the evening etc etc etc. All those questions prevent me from doing something. 

So I pulled another card and I got the three of wands. Oh what a wonderful solution. Standing on a hill top watching the ships go by. For now he has nothing to do, the choices he has made in the Two of Wands are the right ones. Being confident about the decisions he has made is paying off. Maybe the ships are sailing to far away countries or maybe they are returning to the harbor, but either way there is movement in this card which is lacking in the depiction of the King of Swords.  So movement, flexibility in thinking and deciding is what I will focus on today. Nothing what I will decide today will be set in stone forever. So letting go of the need to structure (control)my life will give me a sense of ease and a freedom to listen to the whispering of my intuition telling what is good for me right now!

The Tower - My House of Cards (updated)

This post is long overdue. I haven’t been writing anything for about two weeks now and I wanted to share with you what the reason is for my absence.  For me my tarot practice was partly a way to express my spirituality, as was meditation and practicing gratitude. But the most important tool for me was tarot as a way for me to access my intuition and to receive guidance of my higher self and/or God(des). As you all know my spiritual path is a spiraling one, with its lows and highs. Sometimes it feels like I am back at square one, only to discover a more in depth truth later on. But now it seems like my entire spiritual belief system has collapsed like a house of cards. It feels like I have been building my beliefs and practices on a unstable fantasy foundation and now the whole Tower came tumbling down on me and left me shattered with nothing but the memory of better times and a lot of debris. It might be possible this brokenness and inner loneliness is just a very big winding of my spiral path. I honestly hope it is, but I doubt it. It feels like I have to rediscover who God is to me all over again. If god is really out there, or just in me, or where ever, or nowhere at all... It would be so easy to just pick myself up and rebuild my Tower but I know that this would be postponing the inevitable: another collapse.

So now I have to make new stones and mortar and build a new strong foundation for the house of my soul. I don’t think it will be a Tower again. I think it will be more solid, a one story spacious house with open doors and windows so the air will remain fresh and it will be inviting for the Light to enter

Please know I am still visiting your blogs and enjoying your posts although I don’t always have something worth while to comment. I hope to be back soon and post my daily draws again or anything else which I would  like to share with you

Hugs

Update: I want to thank you all for your kind and warm comments. It makes me feel so loved and appreciated. Honestly I have hesitated to write this post but now I am ever so glad I did. Writing this and then reading your kind and encouraging comments has made a very deep impression on me.
So thank you all

Five of Scepters - Feel the fear and do it anyway

Today’s card is the Five of Scepters from the Tarot of Vampyres by Ian Daniels. This card is all about  the power of will, determination, struggle and defiance

Being truthful to yourself and getting real is often scary but, facing your fears and deepest doubts and worries can be life changing. They  can teach you where you strength is hidden and possible leaking away. Imagine what you could do if you would challenge your fears and overcome them.  So much energy could be directed to more positive aspects of your life: compassion, love, creativity etc.

Yesterday I’ve posted a picture on Instagram of this deck and expressed my belated enthusiasm for it. I have this deck in my collection for almost a year now and never could feel any connection with it, until now. Although I wanted to save it for October, last weekend I couldn’t resist the urge to pick it up and try to work with it again. Then, totally unexpected, both the cards and the guidebook really hit home with me.  Simultaneously I hesitated to blog about my draws because I felt I was not familiar enough with the deck to give my two cents about the cards. And what if people thought it was the “wrong” season? What would my readers think about an older woman with an vampire deck?  Is it perhaps too sensual for my blog?? So much insecurity welled  from within. I recognized an old ugly inner kobold. He is called: “What would people think of me?” And then, looking at this card, suddenly I knew...This is what this deck all about: Feeling the fear and do it anyway.