Nine of Wands – Rise up again and agian

Today’s Card is the Nine of Wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. The same card as I pulled yesterday. The Nine of Wands is for me about wanting more, doing more, doing better. A card of burning desires and the sometimes not so pleasant aftermath.

     

We often take on more than we can manage. And only after we're burned out, we ask ourselves how could this possibly happen to me. Perhaps we don’t know our boundaries as well as we should have and so we let others and ourselves trample them without noticing until it is too late.

I’ve been in this position several times. But I have also experienced that whenever this has happened to me I always rise up again, stronger, wiser (I hope) and determined never to let something like this happen to me again.

So I wondered why this card is showing up again today and I pulled the Five of Swords. Not only is a burn-out caused by taking to on much responsibilities in the physical world. It is often accompanied by negative thought patterns such as lack of self-worth, self-love en so on. These mental attackers want to lure you into a battle, which they know you can’t win. It will only wear you out more until only chaos and exhaustion will remain. Maybe it is better to acknowledge our thoughts and see them as such: just thoughts and nothing more.  

We have to ask ourselves whether these thoughts and feelings are true and if they're not, I promise they will go away.

Then we will rise up from our ashes and become a little more akin to the person we want to be.

For me, this means I have to sit with these returning thoughts of not being good enough again and learn to recognize them once and for all as tricksters of the mind.

The Gardener - A big announcement!

Today's card is the Gardener, aka The Empress, from the Gaian Tarot. This is a card of creativity and abundance and of sensuality and motherhood. I purposely picked this card for today's post because it perfectly illustrates what I am about to tell you.
Two months ago my eldest daughter Sabine and her partner came over to tell me that early November they were going to have a baby. Yes, my dear friends, I am going to be a grandmother or actually, I already am a grandmother. I've seen the first ultrasound of our little one and I have heard the heartbeat. So I feel my granny vibes grow stronger by the day. Next week we will learn if it is going to be a boy or a girl. I am happy either way but it is nice to address the baby with he or she, instead of it. We will also receive the next ultrasound picture. I am looking forward to seeing how our LO has grown.
I always knew they wanted to raise a family but when my SIL gave me a hug that day and said: "hello granny" my knees buckled, my eyes teared up and my world shifted in an instant.  I am so grateful, this little, already so precious baby has come into my life and also how (s)he opens uncharted areas of my heart and soul so effortlessly.

Two of Air - Stop, Breath and Listen

Today's card is the Two of Air from the Gaian Tarot: a woman is listening to the all sounds around her, the twittering of birds, the sound of leaves in the wind and so much more. But then she stops paying attention to them and is just simply hearing them. It is only then that she is starting to hear that soft tender voice from within: The voice that only speaks with love and kindness and never is about fear or despair.  She closes her eyes and she smiles because she hear whispers of Peace and Quiet which she longs for so much. In her hand, she cradles something precious, perhaps a talisman to keep her grounded and centered throughout the day.
I've seen this card many times already but today, for the first time, I noticed her necklaces. She is probably wearing these as talismans to represent the four elements. Today this highlights for me the necessity to not only think about life but also to feel, experience and want something from it as well.
I think I will put my four elemental crystals in a little pouch to carry with me throughout the day as my talisman. They will remind me to stop, breath and listen instead of always chasing toward the next item on my todo list

Aff: I take time in my day to listen and be open to receiving insight.
(J.Powell Colbert)

Eight of Air - listen to the rhythm of your soul

It's been a while since I have written something for my blog. For some reason, I can't seem to get back to regular posting. I don't know why... Perhaps lack of inspiration or drive??? Or maybe both. Anyway, I am here now and it feels good to be here.

Two days ago I celebrated my sixtieth birthday with my family and for the first time in years, I didn't get a tarot or oracle deck for my birthday.  There was not one deck I really wanted. Of course, there are lots of pretty decks around but none of them really spoke to me on a deeper level.
Yesterday I have decided to work with one deck only for a longer period of time, in order to build a more personal relationship with the decks I already have. For this month my deck of choice is the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert. I am in awe of the splendor of nature this time of year and I feel this deck will be in perfect sync with it. I need the more grounding energy of this deck to stay in the moment and enjoy what life has to offer each and every day.
My card for today is the Eight of Earth. It's not that long ago since I pulled this card for myself.  Yet today it speaks not so much about parenting my daughters but more about being guided myself. It feels like I am being invited to follow the rhythm of the drums, to align myself to the heartbeat of the earth, of my soul, and to establish a healthy rhythm of action and rest, breathing in and breathing out.  Creating a rhythm is not only about when to drum but perhaps even more about knowing when not to drum...

New moon in April

Instead of drawing some cards for this new moon, I have decided to choose them intentionally so they would represent what I want to accomplish during this coming lunation.
I choose the Four of Swords and the Princess of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot.

The fours of Swords represents my intention to quiet down my always busy mind. At first, I thought it could be a good idea to start meditating daily again but knowing myself, I realized this would be very hard to accomplish. I think it would be better for me if I could choose from various options: meditating, riding my bike. sitting with Jofee on my lap, taking a walk, playing with watercolors... etc. anything which would calm my racing thoughts goes.
The Princess of Cups represents my state of being when I will succeed in this; even if it is only for a second or two. She is connected to her heart, the place where feelings whisper and true wisdom comes from. She is totally willing to hear and listen to the messages of her heart. The flow of these messages is a constant in her life because she has no problem to tune into them. I don't expect to be like the Princess of Cups in four weeks but I am willing to commit to this practice and to see where it will lead me.

Five of Air - Fear

Today's card is Five of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. It's called Fear. When I saw this card my throat tightened and I felt almost immediately my anxiety creeping up on me. How could I write about fear? How could I share the magnitude of the hold it has over me. Fear is my constant companion and my biggest enemy.  It protects me from having to take risks and it prevents me from living a full life. It binds me to home, it lets my paints go to waist. It keeps me from playfully trying but it also prevents me from failing.
The question this card is asking me is how to face and perhaps even befriend my fear. How to coax it gently from de driver's seat to the back seat. Fear should not be seen as an enemy but as a way of learning about possible risks and how to proceed with caution and curiosity. Only when Fear is taking over all other instincts and our will to move forward we have to step up and say: "No more of this!"
Today this card has inspired me to blog and express myself, despite feeling blocked and thinking I have nothing to add to the conversation. I think Fear and I are going to have a serious chat about who is in charge of Ellen...

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." Thich Nhat Hanh

Five of Swords Not everything is worth bickering about

Today’s question to draw a card with is part of the April Tarot Challenge by @Lionharts on IG. Yes, you have read it correctly: I am participating in an IG challenge again. I might not complete it but for now, I am enjoying it a lot.

"How can I make the most of this weekend?" And I got the Five of Swords. This card is telling me to avoid conflict about trivial matters. It's a waste of energy and it will only spoil the mood of this wonderful  Spring weekend with lots of sunshine and warm temperatures. Too often conflicts are mostly about ego needing to be right and victorious and they are poison to a loving relationship. So how do I try to let go of this desire?

The Emperor: clearly I need to let go of the need to be in control all of the time. This is a reoccurring theme in my personal readings lately. More and more I feel this urge is getting the better of me and in the end, it’s never worth the cost.

What energy could feed my intention to pay close attention to the advice of the two previous cards?

The Wheel: another old friend who comes along quite frequently regardless of what deck I use. This card only confirms what The Emperor has been telling me all along. Life moves in circles and we have to figure out when it is time to speak up and when it is time to let go. Choose your battles wisely and timely and enjoy life as much as you can. There is some much joy to be found in the little things. Let’s not waste our time by quarreling and squabbling over nothing.