Chaos – Trying to find a way out

When letting go by ourselves (see yesterday's post) is too difficult life has a way to assist us....

Today’s card is Chaos, aka The Tower, from the Vision Quest Tarot. We see a horse rearing up in a burning forest. He is clearly frightened and he is feels trapped.. There is now way to escape  because the fire and the smoke are surrounding him. The only thing to do is trying to stay calm and hide away from the wind. Eventually the fire will make way for greener pastures. The question is how do we get to that point since we are clearly not having a great day.

And I pulled the Spirit Guide. (Judgement) To be honest I don’t have a lot of experience with spirit guides or spirit animals. I would love to meet one someday but for now it’s just me and my intuition or my higher self. Listening to the soft inner voice is hard. Taking the time and becoming quiet enough be able to hear the voice is sometimes even harder; we are often in such a hurry. This card encourages us to notice the little miracles in our life; the “road signs” along the way. So not only listening but noticing small details too. Mmmm, that is starting to sound a lot like living in the present moment and being mindful of how we experience life on a daily base.

Maybe if we would have been more mindful to begin with, we could have prevented the forest fire? Or do we welcome Chaos to help us to clear old and dead wood?

Four of Fire - the art of letting go

When I asked this morning what could help me to approach life with a more positive attitude, I got the Four of Fire from the Vision Quest Tarot. We see four sage  bundles clearing the air of stagnant energy with their healing and cleansing scent. This in order to make room for something wonderful and new.

The Four of Fire is all about celebrating and letting go what we have accomplished and completed. Only after we have consciously gone through this process, there will be room for new adventures and projects. It can be so tempting to compare today’s gifts with what has been and to cling to expectations for today. This is often caused by stagnant and limiting ideas and feelings Today is new day so let’s be grateful for its opportunities.

Maybe it could be helpful to revisit our day before we go to sleep and give it all, the good and the bad to God(dess) so we can wake up fresh in morning without guilt or regret and start the new day with a clear mind and an open heart.

Mother of Fire - Tending the Heart(h) Fire

Today’s card is Mother of Fire from the Vision Quest Tarot. She is related to the Queen of Wands but I feel she is much easier to approach than her royal niece. She looks up from her scared task; the tending of the hearth, the center of her abode. And just as she feeds the hearth fire with pieces of dry wood, she also loves to feed our heart with passion and courage.

As an adult mature woman she has already gathered  a lot of life experiences and she wants to share her wisdom with everybody who sits down by her fire. She has so many stories to tell and she wants to inspires us to live our life passionately and filled with joy.

I feel a bit sorry for her because as a mother myself, I try to share my wisdom with my girls, but more often than not they want to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes. 

So Mother of Fire teaches me today to share my stories and inspire my girls and everybody else who visits my Hearth but also that most of the time giving advice, when it is not asked for, is a waste of effort and time

Affirmation: Today I will warm myself by the fire of my hearth and the fire of my heart and I will chose to do the things  that will bring me joy so I can share this joy with my loved ones.

Seven of Stones – Don't let Regret and Guilt pin you down

Today I was wondering what aspect of my shadow needs to have a closer look. And I pulled the Seven of Stones form the Chrysalis Tarot. A girl is sitting near a river with a pan flute in her hand. She looks depressed. Guilt and regret are weighing her down and she is wondering if this downcast feeling will ever stop. When we feel like this, we often get the advice to let go and move on but these kind of feelings can tie you down  to the past with strong roots and poisonous vines. O, how she longs to wash these feeling away in the river but the more she thinks about it, the more difficult it seems to be. Would she still be able to recognize herself without her grief???

What energy could be helpful in such a situation? 

The Muse, The queen of Spirals is coming to the rescue. Like all queens she is a soft and nurturing energy who will put her hand on your shoulder and whispers soft and encouraging words in your ear. 

And then hardly noticeable she will put the desire into your heart to do something. And no, it doesn’t have to be super creative because that might block you instantly. She will guide you gently to something you wouldn’t mind doing  for a while, like knitting or crochet, coloring a mandala, weeding the garden or taking a little walk. And each time we do something like this, the attachment to our regret and guilt will dissolve little by little and it will get easier to do something we love. One day we can look back and see that we have indeed washed them away in that river. This process has made us stronger and more resilient and it has taught us how to cope when we might come across other challenges in our life. 

Is the Eight of Scrolls stalking me again?

Three times this week I’ve pulled The Eight of Scrolls from the Chrysalis Tarot for my daily draw. That starts to feel a lot like a stalker card, especially since its Rider Waite counterpart, the Eight of Swords has been my stalker card for years. 

I wondered what the visionary in this card wanted me to see more clearly today. What part of my story should I revisit and maybe rewrite from a different, more healing perspective? We are often inclined to play the victim in our stories but what if we could actually see ourselves as the heroes and heroines?

To get some clarity on what aspect of my story I should focus today, I pulled the Five of Spirals. We see a dragon breathing flames into the darkness. This fire represents the light of our conscious awareness. The Dragon is helping us to see what is hidden in the shadows deep within and  more important to acknowledge and accept what we find there. Only then we can try to integrate these shadow parts into ourselves.  Maybe we can learn to see and appreciate the role they’ve played in our story up until now. We can also try to connect these shadows to the more positive parts of our lives. That way we can become the hero of our story. My fears and anxieties have been just as important in becoming who I am today as my strength and determination. We are who we are: complete, whole and good enough. With all our flaws, fears and insecurities, let’s be our best version of ourselves today.

NB:  The Greek word drákōn from derkomai, means "to see clearly” and is the root of the English term, "dragon"

Something different

As some of you already might know, both my girls attended a Waldorf school when they were young. One of the things which attracted us to this school system was their attention for an inviting ambiance and the use of natural materials. 

When my eldest was four she was introduced to the famous Waldorf dolls and wanted one for  herself. Luckily a doll makers course was starting soon after her discovery and there I learned how to make  all kind of different cloth dolls. S was so happy with her "Rapunzel"  and not so long after that M got one for herself too. 

Some years later (in the Fall of 2000) I got the idea to make one for myself. This was the kind of doll I always wanted as a little girl: so soft and pliable. So I made my inner little girl a doll and I named her “Saar” (Sarah). The adult part of me was delighted to have a doll for myself to dress up and I started to make her a wardrobe of her own. This has grown into a hobby of mine which I  amuse myself with off and on. After several months of abandonment I picked her up again, freshened up her face with watercolor pencils and made her a knitted dress with crocheted shoes.

Since I like to write about my crafts on this blog too, I thought it might be fun to share this part of me as well

Eight of Scrolls - 'The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.'

My question for today’s daily draw was: “What am I grateful for?”and while shuffling I noticed myself hoping for a positive card. Being grateful for the good things in life is the most easy part of practicing gratitude. But how about being grateful for the challenges in our life. We all know that the difficult situations are often our most profound teachers and they instigate growth on a much deeper level than the happy times. 

Today’s card is the Eight of Scrolls, aka The eight of Swords. It’s the same card I pulled yesterday and I hope it is not going to be my stalker card again. In the depiction we see a visionary trying to makes sense out of all these scroll fragments. She is seeing them with her mind’s eye, swirling above her head. It is up to her to make sense of these snippets and weave a story for us and give us advice on how to proceed with our life. We all have an inner visionary, a part of our higher self, our intuition, who is able to connect the dots and make sense out of our own scrolls pieces. This is the part that knows the bigger picture; the how and why and it  will steer us in the right direction with some wise and empowering advice. And no we don’t need a crystal ball. The only thing we do need is some peace and quiet to turn inwards and listen to the soft voice: our ultimate spiritual guide. 

Taking a walk with Gaia, The Empress

Yesterday I was busy cleaning and clearing my little house in the forest (Four of Spirals). I swept the floor, polished the windows and dusted the furniture. This morning I opened the door and stepped outside to take a breath of fresh air and I wondered who would want to come by and visit me on this beautiful summer morning; which energy would want to dwell in my clean house?

How baffled I was when I pulled Gaia the Empress from my Chrysalis Tarot Deck. Just a few days ago I wondered why I almost never pull this card. The last time I pulled The Empress was in November 2015 and now here she is today, beautifully “dressed in the garb of Summer”, on my doorstep of my little house in the forest. Politely I invited her in but naturally she preferred to take a walk outside. So many things I could have asked her but the only thing I did was enjoying her presence and basking in her radiant beauty. She teaches us to enjoy the abundance of her creation on heart level. Stop asking questions and thinking about the how and why, just enjoy life and be inspired by her creativity. It seemed we were walking for ever or maybe just for a minute but however long it was it was enough and I was fulfilled. When I came home, my little forest house was filled with her fragrance of flowers, fruits and a touch of earth... 

Four of Spirals - Clearing energy

Yesterday,  I got the Chrysalis Tarot Companion book in the mail and so far I love reading it. In this book Toney Brooks shares the underlying themes and motives of this gorgeous deck and he explains a lot about the symbolism in the cards. It really creates a more in depth understanding of this beautiful but often challenging deck.

For today I drew the Four of Spirals. We see a cozy little cottage with a thatched roof deep in the forest. Four spiraling ferns are standing in the foreground. It is nighttime and the little house is bathing in the light of a promising crescent moon. Now who wouldn't want to live there!

This card is all about clearing energy in every form possible. It could be about getting rid of physical clutter and all kinds of stuff gathered over the years but not adding anything to your life’s happiness anymore. (Very difficult for me since I am a Taurus and I am very attached to my "stuff".) It could also be about letting go of old ideas and preconceived notions and last but definitely not least it could be about clearing actual energy. The book talks about how we first need to clear energy before new energy can enter our “house”. Sometimes opening our windows literally and metaphorically can do the trick.  However you want to accomplish this is okay and when you have finished sweeping your house,  it is time to enjoy the solitude of your Harvest Home and put the broom outside. Then, as the guidebook suggests,  you can go upstairs and look out of the fresh polished window into a bright inviting future where anything is possible.

I must say that reading this book acquires an open mind and a susceptibility for new ideas about how to perceive life, the universe, the otherworld etc.  But at the same time it all feels so familiar and so easy to combine with what I do believe already. These ideas do open windows and doors which were locked before. They promote togetherness instead of separation.

Six of Swords – Never give up hope

Today’s card is the Six of Swords from the Wild Unknown Tarot.  A card of breathing out and accepting the situation we are in. Only after we have accepted our (mental) struggle, we can begin to change our ways of thinking into more positive and healthy thought patterns.  In this depiction we see six swords laying at the bottom of the card, apparently in the pouring rain or as I first thought, at the bottom of a well. It doesn’t make so much difference because the arching colorful rainbow at the top of the card is the most significant aspect of this version of the Six of Swords. The card is urging us to move our gaze upward: to look beyond the darkness and see the rainbow, the symbol of hope. 

I once came across a very fitting acronym of hope: Hold On, Pain Ends. Only after we stop fighting the darkness, the light can enter our mind during the moments of peaceful acceptance that this too will pass.

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear”

New Moon in May

For this New Moon I've drawn two cards as usual. The first one for the energy I am going to release and the second one for the energy which is beneficial for me to embrace. From the Wild Unknown Tarot I drew:

Release - Wheel of Fortune

This card is all about flowing with the ups and downs in life, while trying to maintain the center position of the wheel. Accepting of and adapting to every situation life throws at you and making the most of it. Being a very controlling person I imagine this card would be quite a challenge as an embrace card, so to see this card in the release position for me today, it tells me I need to let go of the urge to untie the knots of all these colored ropes and ribbons and sort them by color, length and material. The more I fiddle with them, the tighter the knots are going to get. I want to try to let go and to give life a chance to unfold on its own accord. Life doesn’t need me to hold the strings like a puppeteer. 

I could learn a lot from the owl in the left upper corner. She is sitting there so relaxed, observing how the wheel turns and not giving it too much thought. I think she is more curious to find out if I have it in me to show the same detachment as she does..

Embrace – The Moon

Lately I have noticed that I am quite adept in running from  difficult and confusing feelings and situations. I can bury myself in numerous distractions so I don’t have the time to deal with what matters most. Me!

The first stirring of discomfort became noticeable when I was working with the Five of Cups, which I dropped very soon after.  But just like everything in Spring, when something has budded, there is no stopping it anymore. I tried to cover things up for my birthday and now that has passed, the Moon card is calling out loudly and persistently. It’s time to get real with how and what I feel.  Just acknowledging my feelings can be a good start. Also I need to try to find out what is I love and dream of or fear and hide from. 

Like The wheel of Fortune, this card is also about cycles; times when I feel good and times when I feel less happy. I want to learn to accept this and not to berate myself when I am feeling down. I know these times will pass. Maybe if I learn to accept them when they arrive, perhaps they will pass sooner and I won’t lose so much energy fighting them.

Daughter of Wands – Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway

To be honest I wasn’t quite in the mood to blog today but my daily cards decided otherwise. I couldn’t resist to write down the message of these two cards. Also they are a perfect pair to follow up the Ace of Wands from a few  days ago. That was such an energizing card; so promising and exciting. But then after my birthday nothing happened. Everything was the same and I felt stuck instead of eager to play with the new art supplies I got for my birthday.

And then I drew the Daughter of Wands, an ideal card to promote experimental play in my art journal. Just to have fun and feel free to explore all kinds of ways to paint and collage and stamp and whatever comes to mind at that particularly moment. But nothing of the sort happened. The thought crossed my mind that maybe I was tired of my birthday festivities.. .Yeah right. Who was I kidding. I was afraid to open my book and to be unable to make my mark today. Or that it would be more of the same and nothing new and exciting would appear on my page. Why, what is the matter with me and then I drew The Tower. Often when we do daily draws and we get The Tower it is not as bad as it seems but today it perfectly represent my fear of being inadequate. Fear is  often very  great exaggeration of the actual things that might happen in a certain situation. I mean honestly, what is the worst thing that could happen if I did "fail" today. I am quite sure the lighting wouldn’t strike me.

So after posting this I am going upstairs and open my journal, put some paint on the page and see what happens next.

Ace of Wands – Anything is Possible

Today is a special day for me. It’s the day before my birthday. This last year has been over all a good year for me. It has taught me a lot and although it was not always easy, I am sitting here behind my laptop with a cup of coffee next to me, smiling and  feeling quite content. Life goes on and I am getting older and I dare say I think I am getting a tad wiser too.

Today’s card is the Ace of Wands from the Wild Unknown Tarot. What a beautiful energy to embrace today and to take with me into my next year. This is the card of  unbridled possibilities and options. A very inspiring card too! Just by looking at it you can feel the fire burning inside, the urge to go do something; anything. Just jump in and enjoy yourself. Don’t  fret about if it is going to be worth the effort or if what you are creating is good enough. Fuel your fire with experiences. And learn while you play; just like children do.

We can only conceive our ideas  to a certain extent  in our mind but then we have to pick up our tools and make it happen. Write, cook, sew, paint, draw, sculpt, bake etc There are countless ways to express ourselves and do what makes us stand out in this world. For whatever we make, it is unique. Each mark has our own distinct energy and is the signature of our soul.

Today I have written this post, baked a apple pie for my birthday with M and I drew a girl’s face.

What mark are you going to make today?