A Tiny Tarot Reading for the New Year

This morning I decided to draw two cards for the coming new year just for an overall view; a kind of theme.

The first card would provide the question or the situation and the second card would be an advice or an elaboration for the first card. I've used the original Rider Waite for this mini reading.

The first card I got was the Four of Cups. This card is asking me to consider when I feel really content. Is it because of the beauty of these three cups, or is it about the content or is it perhaps because I have the time to sit beneath a tree to relax? But what about the fourth cup? Do I need it on order  to be more happy and content? Does this cup hold the promise of  perfect everlasting happiness and joy. It is something I need or just want because it has been made available?

This card has brought up a lot of timely questions because My word for 2015 will be “Simplicity”:

Trying to be happy and content with the small things, feeling gratitude for the daily events and also trying not to be not so easily influenced by YouTube and blogs etc. as to what I “need to have”  in order to be happy J.  

Of course there is so much more to this word then  what I can write in this post for now. I  will have an entire year to further explore the depth of its meaning.

The second card is the Magician.  The first thing I noticed were the four tools on his table which is all he needs for making his magic happen. If I would tap into this archetype I would find my inner strength would be enough to be fulfilled and happy. It is in myself where my true power resides.  Not even in the tools in front of me. Whatever is in my three cups or in the fourth; they are merely things to enjoy but not necessary to become fully who I am supposed to be.  

It sounds good to me and hopefully I will remember this when the next “temptation” comes along

Eight of Cups - My Christmas talisman

It is the day after Christmas and I feel good. Christmas is for me, as it is probable for many of you a Holiday which can bring out a lot of mixed feelings and expectations. Because of that, I thought it would be wise to have some sort of an anchor or talisman to hold on too.  A kind of lifesaver so to speak. And  as a representation of this I choose the Eight of cups from the Druidcraft Tarot. In this card I see myself wearing a protective indigo cloak, holding a rod of perseverance and climbing up towards a breathing space. I am leaving my loved ones for a moment behind with their filled cups and enough to eat and I am off to my refuge. Most likely my little room upstairs, or even an unnecessary visit to the toilet. When a physical  retreat isn't an option there is always that safe place in my mind. A  little nook  with my comfy chair near a softly burning hearth where I can knit or just sit and be quiet, watching the flames and listening to the crackle of the fire. Breathing in, breathing out and I am there…. Just for a minute or two.....

Christmas went well, my husband was happy and we were happy for him. Later on in the evening we have watched  a  movie together and that was day one. This morning I went to visit my husband on my own which was new because he always visits us twice with Christmas. But this year we wanted to try to make a change which I thought would benefit us all. (And it did!)

And now I am blogging in a quiet peaceful room where everyone is doing their own thing and it is good and I love it J

Winter Solstice Tarot Reading

On the evening of the Winter Solstice I did a tarot reading for myself.  A lot of the blogs which I visit regularly had several spreads to choose from: Beth from Little Red Tarot shared with us her Winter Solstice/New Moon Tarot Spread

Sarah from the Tarot Parlor came up with  a Short & Sweet New Year Spread which is of course also perfect for the Winter Solstice.

Last but not least Kerry from Neopagan Priestess has posted her Yule spread.

This is the one I've picked for myself to use on this special night. Not only because it is a very profound spread but honestly also because it was the smallest one and I do like my spreads to be both meaningful and simple.

I love it when I can visualize these small spreads during the following days and when I do decide to blog about them there is less to translate. (just kidding J  )

Kerry's spread has two cards with the following questions:

1) What will help me sit with the darkness right now?
2) What will help me transform  it into light?

I've used the Wildwood Tarot which is personally for me the most wintery deck I have and I've got:

       

1 The Seer (The High Priestess)

In the card of The Seer,again we see the symbol of water. The Seer is using it for scrying and to me that is a lot like “diving deep”  from my previous post. When you look at her face she is very concentrated and perhaps a bit anxious for what she is about to see beneath  the surface of the water but when the moon is dark and the Winter Solstice is here, it is just the time to explore these caverns of your soul. You may encounter secret longings, abandoned and or sacrificed parts of yourself, less favorable traits and so on. Just to look at them and acknowledge them can help you to feel a bit more whole again. 

2 Ace of Stones (Ace of Pentacles)

Then there is the Ace of stones: a large standing stone to go to and wrap your arms around in order to ground and center yourself after being submersed into your inner darkness. To transform this darkness into light you just have to be and to do. Take the opportunities given to you to really engage in the here and now.  I have been sitting on the bench to long due to my neck pains and had too much time to worry and feeling sorry for myself.

Being just a few days away from Christmas there will be a lot shopping, baking bread and cookies and (a bit of) cleaning to do. I am going to try to participate in these activities as much as I can without overdoing it. Watching over my physical well-being is also a gift from the Ace of Stones.

Deep Dark Sea Mermaid - Diving deep can be scary

Time is going quickly. Midwinter is just around the corner. That same night the moon will be dark too, so it will be a dark night for sure.

Some say this is the night to dive deep into your own darkness and then emerge from that place  to let the Light inside you be born again. Because that is the theme of Yule, Midwinter and Christmas: the Rebirth of Light.

It can be a scary thought to do this, but not diving, not knowing what lies beneath the surface can be even more frightening. Our minds can make up more hideous monsters then we would ever have to face.  So let’s dive. I know what I will find  there: a white paper, an empty journal, a dried up inkwell, symbols of my  fear of no words to write. Lately I’ve been playing with my cards and although they are meaningful for me personally, they don’t stir my inspiration to write about them. My mind goes blank. Maybe it is because I don’t feel well and it is too much effort to translate my thoughts into English but maybe it is also because I’ve just run out of things to say for now.

Since I don’t know the answer I will just dive and hopefully I will find some sparkly flashes of light there which will rekindle my inspiration…. 

Wishing you a wonderful and enlightening Winter Solstice

Tarot bag from Tiferet tarot and Update

Late November I've participated in a giveaway hosted by Steve Bright form Tiferet Tarot

and I won!!!

 The winner would receive one of his handmade beautiful tarot bags. Since Steve is a qualified designer and fashioner of clothing, this bag is a beautiful crafted piece of work. It is a lovely soft bag to hold in your hands. It has a matching lining and is softly padded. My bag has a design with birds and little bows. The bag closes with a magnetic press stud. On the front side is little tuck bag for a LWB or a crystal or something like that.

Steve, Thank you so much for this beautiful gift I am so happy with it. I don’t have a special deck for it yet. For now it holds the deck I am currently working with and it has found a regular spot on my simplified altar. I can highly recommend purchasing such a Tarot bag, either for yourself or as a lovely Christmas gift

I love to hold it in my hands while and feel it while contemplating my question for the card I am about to draw. This way it has become a part of my daily little tarot ritual

After ten days of mostly rest I am still experiencing al lot of discomfort in my arm from the pinched nerve in my neck. I have started with leaving some comments here and there because I do miss you all. Typing and sitting behind my laptop is still painful but I wanted to write this post so much to express my gratitude to Steve and say hello to my blog friends

Hugs

The Lord – Asking for help is so difficult

Today’s card is The Lord  (The Emperor) from the Druidcraft Tarot. This card represents the archetypal father, the divine parent, masculinity, fertility, structure and leadership. The eagle in the sky symbolizes his clarity and his ability to analyze any problem. He is also the representation of God on Earth. After my latest card (the seven of Wands, it feels like he is coming to my aid. So today I see him predominantly as a representation of my Divine Parent, who wants to help me to set some clear boundaries and to bring more structure into my life.  All for the purpose of protecting me mentally and physically. Lately I am getting more and more problems with my neck and I am very worried this will result in a hernia again. (the fourth one) Tomorrow I am going to  see the doctor. It was M who took that part of The Lord in this for she insisted to make an appointment. Usually I tend to wait far too long before I admit I need help. This is true for every area of my life. It is so hard for me to ask. But we do have to ask before we will receive. This is true for mundane as well as for spiritual matters. We have to ask for help  and guidance in order to be open enough to receive it.

"Ask for help not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong." Les Brown

PS. This afternoon I've been to the doctor and she gave me some painkillers and the advise to take it easy and rest regularly. And of course to ask for help. For now I will have to stop blogging for a while because sitting behind my laptop isn't that comfortable.
I hope to be back very soon

Seven of Wands - Friend or foe?

I've taken up my own challenge and I have cleared my altar up to three items: one big white candle, one a white clothe, a tumbled Labradorite, and the Druidcraft tarot. Until so far I am enjoying it very much. My altar radiates simplicity and peacefulness. No distraction from all kinds of little symbols and decorations. For now, I like it.

Today’s card is the Seven of wands from the Druidcraft tarot. This is a fitting card to pull for the holiday season. My initial impression is to defend my own boundaries mentally as well as physically, during these busy weeks. But when I look a bit closer maybe these men are not approaching to attack the guy in his refuge but merely to share their ideas and to ask for his help, Maybe this apparent attack exists only in my mind, triggered by my need for rest and solitude. Perhaps I should try to and listen first and decide how I want to spend my time and energy, always remembering to keep quite a bit for myself too. So today I will try to listen attentively before thinking an defensive NO! Defending boundaries is not only about killing all the trespassers but more to distinct friend from foe

Four of Stones - emptying my drawer

For today I've pulled the Four of Stones from the Chrysalis Tarot. The keyword for this card is “Possessions” which is beautifully depicted in this card as a bejeweled chest probable filled whatever stuff is most prized in your opinion.

I pulled this card when I was rummaging through my tarot drawer and my drawer with “magical stuff, like altar cloths, candles and crystals etc. I am very fond of these things. Playing with them, handling them is almost soothing. But I wonder if I am letting these items blocking my way to what really matters? The chest in the card is  “blocking the pathway of self-understanding.” Do I need these things to feel spiritually connected and if so: Why and to what extent?

Maybe because I am a very Swordy type of person, I think I need these items to instantly connect with Spirit, without having to read lengthy prayers, ritual texts or informative books. Smelling incense instantly puts me in the right mindset. Touching a crystal relaxes me and oh my goodness, playing with my cards is such a wonderful way to access my intuition. Maybe it isn't the fact we use these tools which might be hindering us, but more the way how we perceive them. They are nice but not necessary. They are not magical themselves but they can help to evoke the magic within us. Holding a mala while chanting is nice but buying the next perfect mala isn’t going to improve this practice. I wonder how I would feel if I would empty my chest/ drawer/room for one week and only keep three things….: one deck, one crystal,  one candle………..

The Woodward - Hunter and Guardian

Today’s card is The Woodward (Strength) from the Wildwood Tarot. We see a hunter with a mountain lions mask. He is holding a spear with blood on it in one hand and a cup in the other. From the shaft is hanging a lion headed figure. The hunter is waiting, assessing what the right next move should be. Each moment he has to find the balance between the darkness of death and the beautiful gift of life.  He is both hunter and guardian of the forest.

The book says:  “The Woodward is a hunter whose prey is solutions to moments of crisis. He acts as an emotional backstop when fate, or the destructive energy in a situation, faces us with seemingly irrational or overwhelming disaster.” 

This card reminds me to reevaluate my own backstop; my inner place of strength and protection; How can I maintain a balanced stance like this Woodward and wait patiently for the right moment to act and the right words to say? If possible I retreat myself from a stressful situation to regain my focus and balance but usually I just have to try to keep my mouth shut, breath and pray for guidance. It is so easy for me to blurt out my first reactions and try to get my way but it is often not very helpful for the long run. My greatest challenge is to keep silent and have the patience to listen to others involved and to that soft voice within. Only then I feel I can make the right decisions for the good of all.

A Twist in the Tale – Expect the unexpected

Today’s card is “A twist in the tale”- The unexpected, a change you did not see coming” from the Shapeshifters Oracle.  I like to use this deck during this season because the theme of the deck is Change and so much is changing right now. We are entering the holiday season. The temperatures are dropping rapidly. “Winter is coming” without a doubt and in thirty days Christmas as is already over and days are slowly lengthening again.

The card shows us a pale white girl and her white ferret. There is not much color but the red of their eyes, nose and ears  and the pink glow in the back. Not quite what you would have expected of a fairy and her ferret.  They come to tell us that change is coming and there is nowhere to hide. It can be about your age, your relationship, your job, a project; something is about to change and the only thing we can do is embrace and accept it and go from there. So often we are relentlessly trying to keep change at bay so we can uphold our illusion of being in control.

It would be so much more easy to accept change and then embrace it or deal with it. So many possibilities could have been ignored or set aside out of fear of change. And who knows what we have missed out on.

Nature teaches us all about change. About the beauty and the hardship. About life and destruction. Everything  is part of the whole beautiful picture

Perhaps that is the message from this card:  take a step back and try to see the whole story with all its twists and turns and how everything worked out for the best. That way the next twist won’t  be that scary and maybe in the end a great blessing

Six of Cups - A trip down memory lane

Just before I went to visit my mother, I pulled for myself the Six of Cups from the Goddess Tarot. Although this deck has a lot of Rider Waite based imagery, this card seems to lack the two children where one child offers the other one flowers. Here we see a house in the distance and six cups, neatly arranged and filled with soft purple flowers. It is a card of memories: Of reminiscing about a time when everything was fine and life was simple: Of remembering our childhood. Whenever I am with my mother I feel often like a child again. In her own way she still takes care of me, simple because she cares for me unconditionally. And that feels safe and it gives me a chance to completely relax.  I didn't know I needed this so much until I got there. I loved listening to her stories and even now after so many years some of them where still new to me. This card radiates  peace and quiet. Everything has it’s place and time there, just like with my mother. Her house is clean and organized in contrary to mine especially with our puppy running around messing with his toys and stuff. So when I came home I felt a bit overwhelmed and I had some difficulty to adjust to our everyday life.  Even the idea of starting to blog again wasn't appealing. It felt more like a chore than something I love to do so much. So I started to leave some comments here and there and that felt good. I know eventually I will adapt and fit in again. Today is already so much easier than yesterday and gradually I am getting used to our own way of living which I do love a lot J

“Grown means nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? In a mother’s heart you will always be her baby.”

Five of Vessels - Ecstasy

The weather has really changed here . It feels like November at last. It is cold, grey and wet  outside. This weekend Sinterklaas has arrived in our country, so the card I pulled for today is quite fitting for the Dutch children and everyone young at heart who loves to reminisce about his own childhood  Sinterklaas experiences  while eating some Pepernoten  or Kruidnoten and drinking some hot chocolate.

Today card is the Five of Vessels (Cups) – Ecstasy. Although this card is not about sadness and grief, like its Rider Waite counterpart, it is about fully immersing in, and expressing your emotions and feelings. Letting go of thinking and analyzing and being  totally present in this one moment. The woman in the depiction is dancing and making rhythmical music and maybe she is singing too. She keeps on dancing until she feels the connection with Spirit/ the Divine. That one split second where all is one, when your soul fuses with the Universe, that is the moment you are really between worlds.

Honestly,  it is not easy for me to go there.  I am quite introvert, so expressing myself in movement and sound is hard for me. The only way I can experience  this feeling of connection is while I am painting or something like that or when I am meditating.  I do envy this woman  though, because this card also radiates a sense of freedom to express yourself in such an exuberant way
P.S. I am taking a little break from blogging and commenting, because I am going to visit my mother for a few days and I have some other things to attend to. Probable I will be back next Tuesday J

The Enchanted Lenormand: line of five – What do I love about reading cards?

For today I have taken a break from the Mary El Tarot. A kind of breathing space you could say. Sometimes when I read with a deck for  a while, it can get too intense and then I like to shift to lenormand or oracle cards. Not that I value those less but they do touch a different part of me and each system addresses a situation in their own unique way.

So for today I’ve picked the Enchanted Lenormand. The first card would be the topic of my question since I didn't have a pressing question to ask.

I've pulled The Diviner.  So the first thing that came to mind was: why does reading cards appeal to me so much; why is this such a passion of me?

The next cards are: Moon, rider, key and coffin:

• Messages from the unconscious will unlock blocked  thinking patterns
• Stirring  my dreamscapes will be the key to freedom
• Creative activities will be the solution for my depression
• Moon + coffin: numbed emotional life
• Key +rider; revealing message

So all and all a lot of reasons to keep reading my cards. I like it how these little Lennies can tell me so much about myself and also how they inspire me to think out of the box. Each time a combination of cards can mean something different and you are surprised again and again by their versatility

Page of Disks - Step by step

Today’s card is the Page of Disks (Pentacles) from the Mary El tarot. And yes again it is a court card. It is almost if  they tell me a story. Yesterdays cub is todays new born baby. Swaddled in cloths and with two beautiful fabricated little shoes on his tiny feet. He is ready to start his journey as a child of the earth. I am sure if he would open his eyes, we would  see the deep blue color of the heavens he came from; this incarnated soul. He is so perfect, so full of possibilities. The guidebook tells us our body is like a shoe for our soul: The means to experience life during our earthly adventure.  With our body we can learn and express ourselves. We can feel and think and have access to all its possibilities. It is up to us to take care for this beautiful gift and to make it strong and keep it healthy, so it can help us and support to fulfill our destiny: making the most of our earthly experience

So what does this mean for me today? Although I am not a baby anymore and a lot of my options have been ruled out along the way, there are still numerous changes and experiences to go for  and to enjoy.  Often it is fear what is holding me back, so this innocent little child so full of trust, also encourages me to be brave and to try new things, starting with little things and go from there; one step at the time

The Queen of Wands - Cherish and encourage your inner cub

Last night I was meditating and I felt rushed and also annoyed that lately so much is left undone. It seems like I don’t have enough time to get everything done. Being the responsible woman I am (ahum) of course the fun things are being put on the backburner. While I was trying to free my mind of all this noise, I heard  from deep within: “Slow down; there is plenty of time”

And then I realized I was rushing from one thing to another without being present with what  I was doing  right now. No wonder I was experiencing lack instead of abundance.

When my meditation was done, I pulled  a card with the question in mind, what could help me to really stay in the moment  and enjoy what I am doing. And I pulled the Queen of Wands from the Mary El Tarot. Well this queen is certainly present in the here and now. Look at how she is presenting herself: boldly and fearlessly. She is a South American shaman holding her little Jaguar, which is a symbol of strength and protection, in her arms :

This queen is the ruler of our inner fire, the flame of our  true self and our creative potential. She will show you who you are really meant to be. This queen always reminds me of Strength and when I opened the guidebook I read:  “She provides you with a safe , warm and abundant environment where you can grow from a small cub to a powerful jaguar yourself; master of your own internal forest.”

When I embrace my creativity; my drive,  and spend time with my cub, time will stretch out and there will be plenty of it to play, to grow,  to work, to enjoy and to be grateful for each precious moment.

Queen of Disks – taking care of myself

For today I've drawn the Queen for Disks from the Mary El Tarot. The first thing I've noticed is that she is crying crystals. We only have her portrait to interpret so it is not entirely clear why she is crying.  From her face and out of her head, roots are growing abundantly, because she is the embodiment of Earth. I often see this queen as a representation of the Empress in the Minor Arcana. In the background we see a rose garden in full bloom. We are invited  to follow the path and take care of her garden because as her children we are co responsible for her creation.

If it wasn't for her kind tearful eye, I would consider this depiction a bit creepy. I've seen more motherly, nurturing depictions of the Queen of Pentacles. But while studying her she gets to me.  She is more a personified energy, a deity,  than a traditional queen and I like that.

For today she is telling me to divert my attention from thinking to doing, from researching to creating  and most of all from taking care of others to taking care of myself; taking the time to relax and to rest, eat properly, got to bed on time and brush my teeth J. All the things a real mum would tell me to do, which are often the last things on my lengthy to-do list 

Strength – Watch and Wait

In the Strength card from the Mary El Tarot we see a woman sitting on a lion, holding a strand of pearls in her folded hands. The depiction is predominantly painted with orange, which relates to the sacral chakra which is situated in the lower abdomen.

Strength is about aligning your soul’s purpose with the source of your  more primal desires. This is where you inner lion lives; the one who is destined for creativity and greatness. It is our task to befriend, to get to know this part of ourselves so we can tap into its enormous potential and to let him watch the zebra’s in the distance while you are praying with you pearl beads. Each bead is a result of wonderful transforming power: making a gem out of a continuous irritation. This is asking for restraint from lashing out and breaking your shell. No, we watch and wait,  are patient and pray.

Strength is also about taking responsibility for our own life; creating it with our words and actions. When we do or say the right thing, we've listened to the voice within. Only we can know what is right. This is when we trust our own greatness. Each time we do the right thing we become stronger and more confident.

This card is a welcome companion for me. It will help me to  find my own Lion. Sometimes I think it is still an insecure cub which bites and growls, to make a lot of noise when shadows are moving in the dark J

Maybe if we hang out a bit more he’ll grow stronger and more self assured.

King of Cups – Listening to the deep waters

For today I've drawn the King of Cups from the Mary El Tarot.  For me he is the master healer, the empath, He feels deeply without drowning in his own or other’s emotional tidal waves.

In the picture we see our king floating in the water between blue lotus flowers. He is holding his scepter, signifying he is Poseidon the God of the Ocean.

The king of Cups is master over the deep realm of our unconsciousness, of dreams and imagination.

It seems like there is not much going on in this depiction but although the surface may look calm and peaceful, we never can quite  grasp what is lurking in the undercurrent. Al we can do is trying to be still and listen,  like this king is doing

I've picked up  my meditation practice (Four days in a row J) This will help me to be still and listen to what is going on in the deep waters of my soul.  I do hope I can keep it up and try to see it as a gift to myself instead of a chore. 

"Whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. What is soft is strong." —Lao Tzu.

Eight of Cups – The strength of an open heart

Although it wasn't my intention to really start working  with this deck, it did arouse my curiosity and perhaps it is a good deck for the beginning of this month.  It might also be a good companion on my journey to explore my inner  landscapes: “The landscapes of the abyss.”

So for today another eight; the Eight of Cups. Instead of a person leaving eight cups, we see a young child with the skin of a lion, draped over his shoulders. The combination of opposites reminds me of the Strength card. Real strength comes from an open and truthful heart rather than from anger and vengeance

So if you are to face obstacles and stressful situations, it is wise to approach it with and open heart instead of being totally shut down and on guard

That way you stay true to who you really are and from this comes inner strength, confidence and self-reliance which  will be shining in your eyes, and permeate your  demeanor  like the sun on the child’s  wrist

Easier said than done, since I am inclined to close all the shutters in times of trouble. It seems to me this card is showing me the right attitude to open the door from the Eight of Swords and meet the one in the tower. Perhaps it is this child I will meet there….

Jofee Pictures!

No daily draw for today . Since Sunday was rather stressful and tiring, I've decided to use this day for reading and other relaxing activities. which won't require a lot of my own input.
But I do have some wonderful pictures of Jofee to share. He has grown a lot and is becoming really frolic and frisky and also a real naughty boy. Luckily for us he is still taking his naps. Each day he is becoming more and more a part of our family. It is hard to believe we only have him for about three weeks.
So enjoy.....

Getting dirty

bathing time

So tired!

Eight of Swords – Opening the Gate

For today I've drawn the Eight of Swords from my newest addition to my tarot deck collection: the Mary El tarot by Marie White. I've had it for a few weeks now and to be honest is has taken me some time getting used to. The imagery is stunning. But to interpret these cards is a real challenge.  The eight swords in this card are incorporated in the gate. Upon closer look it is a rather strange gate without hinges or a latch. A gentle push will open it and give way to the path leading up to the tower. There is a light in the tower and somebody seems to be waiting for you there. If the tower wouldn't have been illuminated, I would have suspected, that was what was holding me back: Being safe in my hiding place, keeping the world outside. But it is the  inward journey, which can be even more daunting, this card is talking about. When we dare to face and let go of limiting thoughts like fear and worries; when we are brave enough to change our perception, we are able to move through the gate, pick some roses and meet our whole potential self. Because that’s who this red figure in the doorway is, according to the guidebook. It makes sense that rigid thought patterns will block our intuition which is the path that will lead us to the tower and meet the one inside.

It is remarkable how my latest daily draws are tied together by my intention to face my fears. It is giving me the feeling I am on the right path now.

Ghost of the Pumpkin Patch – Count your Blessings

Tonight is All Hallows Eve or Halloween, the evening before Samhain. My last two posts were about my intention to look into my fears and anxieties. So for today I've asked the question, what will help me to face my fears. And I pulled The Ghost of the Pumpkin Patch from the Oracle of Shadows and Light.

The Ghost of the Pumpkin Patch Speaks:

“Something that is a blessing is being overlooked. It appears cloaked and seems almost invisible to you. You must stand in your field – that is to say, your life – and look around you, and see all that has been given to you again, and give thanks for it. You are forgetting how much you truly have, and how much you will have again, and again. My time is the harvest: it is now your time to bring in, or harvest, the joy and love of what you have so much of, and share your abundance.”

When you want to face you fears it is wise to first count your blessings. This will give you lots of security and strength for your inner journey. Life is not always as bad and scary as it seems. Skeletons in the closet are a lot smaller than the sound of their rattling bones might suggest. Spiders in the attic? Humbug, Monsters in the cellar might be just brooms and boxes when you are supported by the joy of your blessings

I've written  a lot about the practice of gratitude and this card is a reminder to uphold this practice when dealing with the harder parts of life

Count your  blessings and don’t take anything for granted. Count until there is nothing left to count, not even the smallest little squash in the corner of  your patch.

Happy Halloween and Samhain!

Queen of Stones - waking up from hibernation

For today I've drawn the Queen of Stones from the Wildwood tarot. We see a mother bear checking the weather outside her winter lair. Is it already warm enough to end her hibernation and go out with her cubs? Or is it still too cold? 

Like a good Queen of Stones, this bear puts her children first. She is the nurturer, the caregiver, the main source of food and she teaches them how to be a bear. She is protective because she knows  how dangerous the world can be and perhaps she is even hesitant to take her cubs out of her safe haven.

I can relate to this fear for my “cubs”, which started when they left my house to play outside. When I think back this was the time I became more anxious and controlling. Somewhere along the line I began to fear the outside world. Of course this was a long-term process but some intimidating events did speed it up.

When we look at this queen, I feel her hesitance but also her longing for fresh air and adventure; to play with her cubs in a stream filled with salmon. To feel the warm sun on her pelt. Longing for all the good life has to offer, which is so much more than the cave were she was sleeping….

Kali - Facing fears

Yesterday I've compared Storm Angel with the Tower and that reminded me of The Tower card from the Chrysalis Tarot which depicts the goddess Kali

She is a Hindu goddess, an aspect of Devi, the Divine Feminine. She is a slayer of Demons (mostly inner ones) and a Goddess of Time and Death. Although she has a frightful appearance she is a loving, protective mother goddess

“She is the goddess of the ending of cycles, the death and transformation energy that lets go of the old and brings in the new. Kali is a loving energy that helps free us of fear, she only destroys that which keeps us in bondage”,

She will help us with: Courage, Determination, Direction, Focus, Motivation, Protection, Tenacity

 I am going to put a depiction of her on my altar as a focal point for the coming time. It is almost Samhain, a time to let go of old and non serving thought patterns. Fear is one of my largest stumbling blocks and is keeping me from the things I really want to do and even to a point  I don’t always know what I really want anymore. I am so good  in avoiding difficult situations

Kali is all about facing our fears and acknowledging them is the first step. I don’t expect to get rid of them right away. She is also goddess of time. It will probably be a spiraling process; each time around I will free myself a bit more. To accept this is a learning process too.

Storm Angel – Searching for new Balance

Since we are heading towards Samhain, I've drawn my card for today from the Oracle of Shadows and Light. I like this deck a lot but haven’t used it for a long time.Maybe because it feels like this is a deck for only the darker moths of the year. Lately I've been working a lot with tarot and much less with oracles. So I thought this was a good choice for today. The key words for this card are: Collision of beliefs, styles, attitudes, energies.

These  words are well depicted by an angel dressed in purple storm clouds and surrounded by lightning bolts. I imagine the thunderclaps must be deafening. She doesn't seem too happy to be the bearer of such heavy weather but she is up to the task:

 “…I bring change, and when change comes for some it is simple, easy and flowing, for others, dramatic, erratic, wild and full of static!... I then appear to burn away the old and create a clear, fresh vibration, where all that is stale, and fearful, and unpleasant has been cleared away! The wonderful thing about this challenging collision is that while you’ll be nudged out of your comfort zone, you’ll also realize just how much has changed, and how far you have come! The results will be worth the pressure – trust me!”

To me this sounds a lot like The Tower where we also have this kind a of weather.

The three of us have experienced a lot of big and abrupt changes lately and we are still adjusting to all of this. Gradually things are falling into place and we are establishing a new daily routine. We are also noticing we are very tired. (And some of us are still recovering from the flu) So miscommunications are understandable but we are trying to be considerate towards each other.

The biggest change around the house for me personally is the bustle Jofee is bringing with him. The long quiet hours when I could read,  paint, write and do anything I wanted are gone and I have to search for little moments in the day for myself.  But on the other hand I do enjoy these short moments so much more

I am positive we will find our balance in due time and stormy weathers will calm down again.

The Three Blessings

It sounds like the title of a fairy tale but in fact it is the subject of a three card tarot reading which Carla from Rowan Tarot came up with. Kerry from Neopagan Priestess has tried it too.

I liked it so much and thought it was such an uplifting spread, that I would like to try it for myself. I've used the Morgan Greer tarot and after shuffling my deck I asked: “What are my three blessings for this phase in my life?”

And I've got:

The Eight of Wands:

Things are speeding up and going my way. Actions of the past are setting things in motion for today. My eight wands are sprouting, so lots of my creative ideas are full of possibilities. I can pick the one which I feel most passionate about without letting myself get overwhelmed by the other seven (The Eight of wand is my todo list card J)

The Eight of Swords:

No more bondage by limiting thoughts. I am able to take of my blindfold and remove the ropes around my body. I can enter the castle behind me and go to my art room to play because playing is sacred, making mistakes is a must, and trying is a gift to myself.

Three of Pentacles :

And the first two blessings are coming to fruition in the last one: Creating with pleasure, inspiration and fulfillment. This card is one of the most supportive cards in the deck for me. The Empress may be all about creativity but here we see a craftsman doing the work en enjoying himself. Improving your skills day by day is a gift not a chore.

Page of Swords - writing practice

For today I have drawn the Page of Swords from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. We see a young fey woman, with feathers in her hair, handling her sword. She is about to start her practice or perhaps she is just finished and putting her sword back in its sheath. In either case she is determined to get more proficient each day. She want to be ready for battle when needed.

Swords are all about thought and ideas and today this card is telling me to wrap my thoughts about some issues I’ve been putting off. To stop the doubting and swaying back and forth  and to try to be more specific with what I know, belief and stand for; to try to put words to my blurry thoughts. Doubting is great but it is also good to determine exactly what it is what is making you doubt. I have the tendency to avoid the more intricate subjects hidden in the corners of my mind.

Although I am a fervent journaler,  I am also a bit apprehensive to see my more uncertain thoughts in writing. I have to remember I am just like this page: practicing, so not every slash with my sword  has to hit its mark.

 “Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time”  M. Murray

New moon in October - be careful with your egg

I've been skipping my New Moon reading for a few times but for this month I thought let's give it another go to make this a monthly habit again. I like to have a kind of theme for the coming lunation and drawing tarot cards is a wonderful way to determine this.

I drew two cards from my deck; one for the Release and one for the Embrace position. Just a simple spread. No ritual and no meditating beforehand, just a thorough shuffle and an open mind should be enough for today.

The deck I've used is the Tarot of the Hidden Realm and the cards are:

Release: Eight of Pentacles:

This cards invites me to release the need to be disciplined and structured in my writing and other creative outlets. Practicing can wait for a while. Just do what you like when you can find the time. And stop being so hard on yourself and try to stop obsessing about slacking

Embrace: Ten of Wands:

In this card we see no burdened man with ten wands on his back but instead a little boy with the huge responsibility of carrying a Phoenix egg. He is destined to merge with this egg which is full of possibilities of drive and fiery passion. It feels to me this card already contains Ace potential. As long as you can be patient and vigilant, this egg will hatch and you can be filled with all its strength. This is a promising energy to Embrace.

Conclusion: When I am able to let go of the need to create regularly, I can focus on this fiery energy of the Ten of Wands, which can fuel my creativity when everything settles down in this household. In the mean time I can scribble, doodle and play a bit, but no pressure is to be applied because we don’t want to break the egg!

Knight of Wands - Hunting or shopping?

For today I've got the Knight of Wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. We see a Fey man hiding in the foliage of an Oak tree. His eyes are fixed on something in the distance. He wants it and he is going to get it. When? Not sure, but soon. His passion is seeping out of his pores and the need to change from observer to hunter is great. He is not concerned about the consequences or what might go wrong; He is totally living in the present moment. The only thing on his mind is to kill the prey. He is overly confident he will succeed, so let’s do it quickly…

I can relate to this knight. I want to be free to pursue my own desires without having to be considerate with my girls and my dog. I know it sound selfish but sometimes that’s me too. Luckily I am not entirely filled with Knight of Wands energy and my inner Queen of Swords will talk some sense into him, but he is there and he want to open the door so badly to go exploring. Maybe some sublimated hunting in the form of shopping might help???

“I get highs, to be totally honest, in second-hand stores. My hunting instinct, I expect, really kicks in.”(Bjőrk)

Three of Pentacles- adapting my creative choices

Today’s card is the Three of Pentacles from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Here we see an older Fey man; a skilled craftsman busy in his workshop. He is creating torcs, an ancient type of jewelry. They were often used to identify the wearer as a person of high rank. The craftsman is enjoying his work and the process of creating. First there is the vision of the torc he wants to create and then trough his hands this idea slowly becomes tangible.

When I look at his card I feel somewhat envious. Probable because I miss my creative outlet. Usually I am going to my craft room quite regularly and there I play with paint and paper scraps.This is my “humming time”

But since Jofee has arrived, a lot has changed.  But is this really the main reason why I am not creating? I pulled another card and I had to laugh out loud! 

Of course: My girls are both ill. Although M is recovering slowly, S is feeling a lot worse. And I feel like the comforting woman in the Five of Pentacles, taking care of them both. And most important watching Jofee for them. Now I realize this is only temporary. When everybody is up and about again, there will be enough time for me to go to my “workshop”. For the time being I have brought my watercolors and my watercolor pencils downstairs. These  art supplies won’t  make such a mess and I can leave on the table until I can find some spare moments to play and hum…

The Fool – Let's go for it!

Today’s card is The Fool from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. For me this is the card of trust, living in the present moment, making a leap of faith and following your hearts desire.
The Fool enhances courage, risk-taking and the creative expression needed to open up new areas in our life. If it wasn't for the fools energy nothing new would come into existence. We would never dare to try something new.
With the Fools energy we have bought a little puppy. Yes sometimes it feels if our whole life revolves around him (including my blog). He is even depicted in this card. J

I love feeling like the fool. It is exhausting and bewildering, exciting and rejuvenating. It feels so good! Nothing keeps you more in the present moment then keeping busy and active. Luckily my girls are feeling a bit better so I could find a moment to write this small blogpost.

Affirmation: "I tread the path of life with joy in my heart and a smile on my lips." Jan Shepherd

Ace of Swords – Keeping my head clear

For today I've dawn the Ace of Swords from the Original Rider Waite Tarot: this card is all about having  a clear vision, bright ideas and deciding what is fair. But then I noticed how a crown is held on the tip of the sword:

Today for me this card is also about taking over the crown. Being the first in charge and decide how things are organized best.

Both my girls came down with a nasty cold (snotty and feverish and a soar throat). S (poor girl) has to go work until 8 PM (I will drive her)  and M is resting/sleeping on the couch.

Yes, that leaves me in charge of the pack. Today I have to decide about right and wrong and be a fair judge for all of us(especially for our naughty and stubborn little boy). I also have to come up with some clever ideas to make this a bit easy on me. so no cooking but a lot of orange juice should be enough. I've already done my grocery shopping while Jofee was asleep an my girls were “watching” him. Of course I want set some personal time for myself aside too: To play in my new notebook or read some pages from “Shadow of Night” part two of the All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness.  A book a  about witches, vampires, daemons time walking and lots of other mystical ingredients (yummy)

And last but not least I want to keep my head clear from murky pitiful thoughts of “poor me”. It is what it is and I have to deal with it as good as I can. There is no need for perfection just for loving kindness for all four of us

Seven of Pentacles – Practicing Patience

For today,  before I pulled a card from my Original Rider Waite Tarot, I've asked what we needed the most to make this day a wonderful day.

And I've got the Seven of pentacles: Patience, patience, patience!

Usually I like my life to be organized and scheduled. Setting out time for work, for relaxation, for making art etc. if I would try to maintain this quest for order I would get very frustrated because with a little puppy around the house, order is nowhere to be found. We follow his schedule of playing, eating, and sleeping and try to adjust it little by little to how it fits us best. This requires a lot of patience and thought. Like the pentacles in this picture take their time to ripen, it takes also time for a puppy to grow up and for us to get used to this new situation. I think in the beginning we did expect too much of him and luckily very soon we realized how little he still is. It is just a little baby. And taking that in consideration, he is already so clever: He pees and poops on an old newspaper on the kitchen floor and sits when asked. He comes when we call him and when he is tired he is falling asleep between the feet of one of us. Then we carry him to his bench where he continues to sleep. He is a bundle of joy. We talk about this new way of living a lot and although it is very tiring we do feel Jofee is bringing a lot of positive and lively energy to our family. And after each day we feel fulfilled, and happy with how he is developing and is experiencing and learning new things.

Five of Cups and Two of Cups and: opening up for new love

For today I've picked the Five and the Two of Cups from the Original Rider Waite Tarot face up, for they  represent so perfectly how we are experiencing some conflicting feelings these last few days.

Saturday morning we went for our lovely fluffy Jofee and we are enjoying him so very, very much. He is bringing so much life and joy into our home. Therefore it surprised us a lot that out of the blue there were feelings of intense sadness because how could he ever take Tara’s place. Tara who was embedded in our family, who needed less than  a word to understand us and knew exactly what we wanted.

With Jofee, we have to start all over from scratch, teaching him everything and somehow this feels very overwhelming, especially in the evening, when we are so tired. All this felt very much like the Five of Cups. Focusing too much on what we have lost instead of on what we were given: a new chance to be happy again with our little puppy.

Gradually we are moving from this card to the Two of Cups. Getting to know  and appreciate one and other without expectations and comparisons to former love. In other words falling in love all over again. We are making new memories with our little fellow and love grows quickly stronger, deeper and we are beginning to forge unbreakable bonds. Our hearts will  grow the more we love. There is room enough for everyone 

Yeah! Pictures of Jofee!

No daily draw for me today. There is  too much delightful chaos going on over here. Our days are filled with playing, correcting, loving, petting, watching, grooming,  teaching, and without enough sleep. M, S and I are constantly looking after our little scallywag. Only 7,5 weeks old but such a handful.

Living in the moment isn't difficult anymore. It comes natural with having a puppy I guess. So no planning ahead anymore; just trying to create a new kind of structure and taking it one day at the time. Going with the flow is our credo now J

Following the first snapshots from S her telephone: