Painting intuitively with watercolors

In this post I would like to share how to make an intuitive painting with watercolors. For me it is a very relaxed way to paint because you have very little influence on the final result. The  technique  I’ve used is called: wet in wet. This means that you paint with wet paint on wet paper. The paint washes over the paper and is going its own way. You can of course guide it, but you can’t paint detailed shapes.

I have made this painting in three stages:

I've dripped and pressed the paint on the paper and moved the drawing board back and forth so that the paint could find its own way. This time I've even turned it around because it made me think of a forest.

      After the painting had dried fully, I've  put another layer of paint over it. But now I was looking more consciously for shapes and lines. This can be compared with the interpretation of a tarot card; I search for images and meaning in my painting that are waiting to be highlighted. My “forest” could use some branches and trunks.


 In the final stage I picked up my pencils and added a few touches in my painting

I want to stress, this way of painting is not about the end result but more about the process, It looks to me a lot like meditation. You are completely present in the moment. Is relaxes me and gets me in a flow. I always find myself humming while I’m painting like this, so it will surely do me some good. Perhaps you like to try it for you self some time. J

Clearing my altar

A few days ago I’ve written some  thoughts about the Seven of bows – Clearance from the Wildwood tarot. Especially about how hard it is to clear away the old for something unknown to take its place. That’s just plain scary. This has lead up to my decision to clear my altar. Over time is has been gathering more and more symbols, and all sorts of clutter and its very representable for my own spiritual confusion and uncertainties

My cleared altar

 So yesterday afternoon I took a basket and put everything that was on my altar in it.

Then I put a white clothe over it to represent a new beginning.  The most important is the candle in the chalice which represents the Divine and the cards. For now these are: “Wide open” From The Enchanted Map Oracle and “Wolf - Instincts” from The Earth Magic Oracle. I’ve picked them face up. Some crystals and shells to represent my openness for change and last, but certainly not least my skeleton key for opening doors.

Perhaps over time I will add something but only if I feel  I really have to. It is so strange and unfamiliar in my room but I am glad  I've done it. This altar gives me a sense of space and peace which is very soothing for now

The Three blessings

Yesterday I've tried two Thanksgiving spreads, I found on other blogs, but although they appealed to me very much, neither of them gave me much clarity. Or perhaps I wasn’t feeling the Thanksgiving vibe. So I gave one of my own  more familiar spreads a try. This one is called  “The three blessings”. (Still a bit in the same spirit). I have found it somewhere online, a long time ago.

It’s a three card spread, which are my most favorite spreads: Short, fast and decisive. Enough to tell an elaborate story or to see in one glance what the core of the issue is. Mostly I just pull three cards and read them as they present themselves. I like to read cards very intuitively, with a book nearby for fresh input. J

With this spread the positions  do have a set meaning: 1 my hope – 2 my inspiration -3 my guidance

The three blessings spread - Crystal Visions tarot

I've pulled :

1 My hope -Ace of Cups: I hope to receive love on various levels. And I hope to able to share love as well. But most of all I hope to feel loved by the Divine because somehow I’m not feeling that connected lately. I hope to become more receptive. Like a vessel…..

2 My inspiration – Queen of wands: I am going to rekindle my creative embers with the energy of this queen. I am already more inspired but still  it’s difficult to get passed my inner censors

3 My guidance  - The Moon: I can trust my intuition to do, say and feel the right thing. So guided by my higher self and my instincts I want to explore the shady territory of my insecure mind. I know I don’t have to be afraid in my own darkness.

Today I am going to strip down my altar to the bare necessities.( a little bit scary) Gradually it has accumulated a lot of stuff and I want to start over. Everything I’ll put there has to have a special meaning to me right now. And the followings days I will slowly figure out if I need any additions . Perhaps in a week my altar is just the way it was. Who knows J

I need Strength to be still

Crystal Visions Tarot

Today’s card is Strength from The Crystal Visions Tarot. I have to admit that I am neglecting my other Tarot decks a bit which is understandable but a pity because they each have their own charm, emphasis and tone. How I've longed to possess this deck and now it’s lying in my drawer waiting to be heard. 

So back to Strength. I have written about this card several times already. Not feeling that strong lately so perhaps it is a kick in the butt to step up. But generally I don’t get that feeling with this card so let’s have a closer look at it:

It looks like it’s evening and a woman and her lion are resting on a mountain top, surprisingly grown with sunflowers. The woman is cupping the lions chin. Two eagles are soaring in the reddening sky.

This card encourages me to tap in to my inner strength, willpower and determination, but at the same time to do this with kindness and compassion for myself. What does this mean for today. I want to look at the bright side of things (sunflowers) and although my neck and shoulders are hindering me more than else today, I don’t want to give in to self pity but at the same time I don’t want to be too strict with myself. I will definitely meditate today (skipped it for two days in a row.) Why do you have to have so much strength to just sit and be quiet????? I can sense a connection between this card and The Singer of Courage which I've drawn a few days ago. A sort of reminder? This card is giving me also a feeling of rest or pause. While in the RW version the woman is actively controlling the lion, here they seem to be two of a kind.  I will end this rambling post with a beautiful quote from the Tarot of the Timeless Truth by Leila Vey

“I teach you that the greatest strength is strength of spirit, and that all challenges are conquered if they are met with tolerance, forgiveness, forbearance and compassion.”

So and now off to do some meditating J

Rest - Take a nap!

Magical Mermaids & Dolphins Oracle

After my reading from yesterday, I have been feeling rather tired (mentally). These decks can stir up very deep emotions and this can be rather draining. So for today I've chosen a  deck with a more lighthearted feel: The Magical Mermaids and Dolphins Oracle by Doreen Virtue; And I've got: REST! How cool is that!  The meaning is obvious: just find a soft place to rest and sleep or do some relaxing activities which don’t ask for deep emotional commitment

Perhaps my Lennies have something to contribute; mice + book + cross.

Lo Scarabeo Lenormand

Instantly I read this as my energy being nibbled away through writing about spiritual stuff J

Perhaps biased, but fun and I am not going to spend any more time considering all the other things they could mean. Perhaps tonight…

For now I have already done my groceries, cleaned up my house (a little bit) and now I’m going to take a long shower and afterwards pamper myself with coffee, chocolates (yes again J) and “Inferno” from Dan Brown. (great book)

Give me courage to clear the old

Lately I am particularly drawn to the Wildwood Tarot and The Faeries Oracle. In readings for myself I just mix them up and they blend perfectly. Just as today: My daily draw was the Seven of Bows – Clearance. This card is a good reminder of letting go projects, idea’s and habits, which are not longer of any use or help for me. This will make room for new endeavors and practices. Clearing the old will release energy that was clung to my dusted, worn and stale convictions. But hey, knowing this is a healthy thing to do, doesn’t ‘t mean it’s easy. What’s more comforting than a pair of worn slippers with holes and torn stitches. Let’s face it we love familiar habits and idea’s. They give us the illusion we are in control and everything is alright. But deep down you know it’s not. Something is wriggling inside and it wants to have space to grow.

So I picked up my Faeries’ Oracle and asked: Who is willing to  help me with clearing the old? I shuffled and drew : The Singer of Courage! In this deck the singers are compared to angels. They are pure energy and are radiating their qualities throughout the Universe (One Song) with their own tune. They can be seen as our guides in this world. So this means I have to open up to receive courage and at the same time to be willing to find courage in myself.

Anyhow, it’s obvious I can’t have it all: and my comforting, old, time and energy consuming habits and exploring my creativity, wanting to meditate and exercise more…and the list goes on. Again for me this was an insightful reading with my two favorite decks

Rainbow - Count your blessings and your strengths

Earth Magic Oracle Cards

My card for today comes from the Earth Magic Oracle Cards and is called: Rainbow – Blessings. This is a “sigh card” for me. It gives me a sense of calm because its message is a gentle one. This card it all about counting your blessings. Something I am inclined to forget when I need it the most; in times of trouble. It’s so easy to be grateful when everything is going your way. But when storms are raging through my life, I have to admit I don’t write in my gratitude journal. J

“The storm has passed, and it is time to enjoy the refreshing beauty of this cycle, even though it has been difficult to appreciate any sense of purposefulness in what you have endured lately. You can now, as they say, count your blessings. Do not just look at the “brighter side” adhering to some academic mantra that has no heart or depth, but do so slowly and with genuine gratitude that is expressed up close and personal.”

For me this is certainly true. I am happy to say, things are settling down again.

Today I want to focus on gratitude with a slight deviation.

 I've recently read a beautiful post from Kelley Ann (The four Queens): “connecting with your personal power”. Among others she gives us the advice to make a list of “our strengths and attributes. Where have you shown them? When did you put them into action? As you search your life for traces of your qualities and abilities, you'll find them hidden in long forgotten corners and in places you never even thought to look. When you see them, stop for a moment and acknowledge them, appreciate them and vow to pay attention to them in future.”

Since I'm rather forgetful, I think it will be an empowering  experience to make such a list. And I'm certain this will make me so grateful for everything I've achieved in my life and at the same time it will make me so proud of myself. Perhaps it is especially affirming to write about this before the stressful events around the holidays so you will know your own strengths and be able to recollect those memories when you need them the most.

My free flow drawing of “Widekind”

For today I’ll work some more with the energies of the two cards I've drawn yesterday: Penelope Dreamweaver and The Blasted Oak. But first things first and I want to share my experiences I’I've had yesterday after I’d published my blog-post.

For me, leaving the safety of the oak and taking a risk to fall on my bare buttocks on the earth has often to do with expressing myself freely without being afraid of the reaction of others and my own inner critic. Mostly when I think about creativity I’m inclined to narrow it down to drawing and painting. Yesterday though, I've had a lovely comment from Sycomoretree, who reminded me that this blog was an creative expression too. This was a an eye-opener for me, because I usually don’t consider my writing as creative and I like to explore this further later on. 

For today it’s back to drawing again. Yesterday, I've started drawing in in a bound sketchbook, which means that whatever the result is it stays  in the book. This may seem insignificant, but for me it’s a huge step from drawing on loose disposable sheets of paper which can be thrown away at any moment. (even after it’s finished)

Also I’ve made a drawing since a very long time, without an example and without knowing what I was going to draw. I just started with some lines, which became leaves and suddenly I found a spot for a little face. After the drawing was finished I took my colored pencils and gave this little forest child “Widekind” some color. I see in her my own shyness, just peeking to the world from under her leaves…

And last but not least I’ve posted her here for everybody to see J

Penelope Dreamweaver and The Blasted Oak

The Faeries' Oracle

Yesterday evening I’d already drawn a card for today from the faeries’ Oracle. It was Penelope Dreamweaver. She represents inspiration, creativity and dreams. It looks like she is some kind of muse. The fun part of this card is that she is Brian Froud’s muse and that it is up to me to discover my own. She is merely a reminder of my own guide in these right brain matters. I thought it might be a good idea to draw some more today and be extra aware of any “signs”.

Brian Froud writes: “Faeries hide what you want and reveal what you need”

This morning I picked up my Wildwood Tarot and drew a card with the following question in mind: What do I have to be aware of when I open myself up for inspiration and creative ideas?

The Wildwood Tarot

The Blasted Oak. The name itself sounds a bit like a curse. Imagine what the guy would be swearing while falling out of this tree and burning his hands. According to the book this card is a combination of The Tower and The Hanged Man

It represents everything that shatters our own constructed false securities and it destroys our perfect created illusions. Everything is ruined but at the same time we are freed from our bonds to our  tree (burning ties) We fall upon the earth who will carry us an ground us. So after some healing we’ll stand up again and tread upon a new path ( or perhaps not and we’ll grow another tree…)

For me this card is a very strong push to let go of my creative anxieties and not to be afraid of hitting the ground. Don’t play safe, experiment, draw from your own guts and don’t be scared to fail. Be raw, be real, be yourself. That’s the best I can do for now and I know my Dreamweaver will be proud of me. ( and so am I J)

My two daughters: The Woodward and The King of Vessels

Today has been a very tough day indeed. At first I didn't feel like blogging at all but after my daughters both had drawn a card from the Wildwood Tarot  I knew I had to write a few lines. Let’s give my daughters some initials: S  is the eldest and M is the youngest. S has been struggling for a long time  with an eating disorder and today, after a long, kind but serious  talk she has decided to ask for professional help. I am so proud of her because I know how difficult it is to admit you can’t do it on your own. M has always been the more sensitive receptive one of this family and she has assessed her sisters problem more heavily then I have done. She sympathizes with her, is there for her  and has at the same time very practical solutions.

After our long talk they both asked me if they could draw a card.

S had pulled the Woodward :

This card is telling me today that she has enough inner strength to tell herself:  “enough is enough” and to face the situation and to act upon it. She is not a victim of her circumstances and she will move forward and do what is necessary to overcome her problems with courage and compassion.

And M had drawn the King  of Vessels the Heron

M is all about control and finding balance. In doing so she has a lot of consideration and sympathy for others who are struggling with themselves. She listens and supports where it’s needed and accepted.

I was so proud of both my girls today. I am dead tired but my love for them exceeds that gloriously.

The Faeries' Oracle - Do I believe in Fairies???

Recently I have bought The Faeries' Oracle by Brian Froud and Jessica Macbeth. It was for sale at a Dutch online thrift store. Before I am going to tell you my findings about this deck I have to say that I never ever wanted an oracle deck about fairies because I didn't think it could add something substantial to my spiritual journey.

I was looking for a secondhand Thoth deck because I wanted to explore that system. The owner of the Thoth deck also had the Faeries’ Oracle for sale. And since she lived in my neighborhood I could pick it up myself (no shipping costs!). The Thoth deck also had a book to go with it and together with the Faeries’ oracle it was only  15 euro’s.

I have to admit frankly I haven’t touched the Thoth deck and I cannot keep away from the Faeries’ Oracle. When I started reading the intro of the guidebook, it was as if something deeply tucked away  stirred and awakened. The writing was mesmerizing. While reading I felt shivers running up my spine. I wasn't ready for this kind of bonding with yet another deck. I wanted to fully dedicate myself my study of the Wildwood tarot. But after picking up the cards that was out of the question. When I flipped through the deck I knew that if there was something like faeries they would be like this. There was some kind of recognition or deep remembering. And I felt my little girl inside was happy J

Now on my cupboard in the living room I have two cards from my two most precious decks standing side by side. I just had to give in.

Do I believe in faeries??? I don’t know for sure anymore. I do know I have a strong connection to this deck and there is definitely something pulling me  to get to know it on a more deeply level

Singer Of Transfiguration

For today I have drawn The Singer of Transformation

“This card in a reading signifies the joy of success after a time of struggle. A new way of life has been accepted and is being integrated. A sense of inner peace is growing. The struggle has all been worth it. This is a time of consolidation and joy, and is both a reward for past achievements and a time of preparation for the next climb up the path.”

Six of Bows - Abundance

and The six of bows-Abundance

“A time to reap the benefits of summer abundance and to accept the rewards and blessings that are the result of endurance. We humbly share the plenty of the ripening year…”

Without further exploring of the cards, they do make me think about the holiday season when everybody gets in the spirit of  peace on earth and  being grateful with everything you have gathered over the last year and above all share those gifts with the ones you love. (Don’t forget to include yourself J)

And on a level beyond our daily live I see the abundance( six of bows) that is waiting for me if I go through the door of my fears (transfiguration). 

Island - Solitude - Beware of the clouds

Earth Magic Oracle cards

After the “Slow and Steady” card from yesterday this card from the Earth Magic Oracle looks like an appropriate follow up.

Since The hermit is my most favorite tarot card, you won’t be surprised that I like this card very much too. I need to have regular alone/ me time otherwise I get easily stressed out or just terribly cranky. This card is reminding me of the importance to take a time out and to meditate. My god(ddes) how long has it been since I've done that? Yesterday was a day of slowing down and enjoying on a sensual level. I’ll hope today I will be able to withdraw myself from the daily business and to nourish myself more spiritually. The island appears barren but look at the tree with the purple (spirituality) blossom bathing in the sunlight….

What does the guidebook say?

"The solitary tree on this island surrounded by the glassy sea can evoke different feelings depending on one’s perception and beliefs. The tree, which is in full blossom, stands out amid the relative starkness, and is illuminated by a beam of light emerging from the otherwise dark sky.

It’s an elegant reminder of how even in what might appear to be relatively barren circumstances, there is still beauty and growth. Although an island like this can be a metaphor for isolation and desolation, the thriving tree proves that even in the harshest of environments, there is Life. We can see the tree’s spiderlike roots spreading out along the rocks, seeking nourishment from the moist soil. The sense of peace and solitude depicted in this image provides nourishment for the soul

Lo Scarabeo Oracle

 As a grounding more practical advice I've pulled  three Lennies: woman + clouds+ clover = when I detach myself from my daily activities I have to be careful not to get too broody on my own and to stay aware of the little things in my life that make me happy. I like that as a warning not to stay in my head to long. It’s striking that both decks have given me a cloudy card. Perhaps meditating more regularly will give me more clear skies J

Slow and Steady …wins the race

The Enchanted Map Oracle Cards

Today I’ll take a break from my beloved new Wildwood tarot. As you have noticed or perhaps have experienced this deck is asking a lot of yourself. It’s pulling you inwards, softly but determined and it’s often not easy what you find there. So I've picked up the Enchanted Map Oracle Cards. The theme of this deck is the inner map of your life; the landscapes and guide’s you will find there and how to play an active role in shaping this world.

So I shuffled and asked: Am I still on the right track”?And I've got “Slow and Steady” .I sighed with relieve. After a good but hectic and tiring Sunday this is such a fine card to start my week with.

The card depicts a fairy who has curled up inside a snail shell and in doing so she has adopted this animals movement speed. I suspect this little fairy to be a busy fluttering creature who has a life speed much faster than we humans have. For today I'll interpret this card as a temporary but o so welcome adjustment to my daily routine

The book says:

“Remember the old saying ‘slow and steady wins the race’? This is the time for easy movement, unhurried steps, and a steady heart. Trust that taking life at a more leisurely pace will give you greater access to your dreams. Slowing down allows more contact with the juicier elements of your life. Savour them!”

ments and savour them to the fullest; starting out with a long luxurious shower followed by coffee and … Chocolates

The Knight of Bows - Fox - My guide for a beautiful Sunday

The Knight of Bows – Fox of the Wildwood tarot has jumped out of my deck to be my guide for this day.

I've drawn this card a few days ago for my deck interview. So I’m slightly familiar with it. This is a card of cunning and wit. This card has such a different vibe than most Knights of Wands from other decks. He is less boastful , less macho, like he doesn't need to be a showcase of male hormones.

This fox is sure of this own natural skills  which will help him  survive dangerous situations and even leave him with enough energy for his daily live. I can but only admire this beautiful animal. Today a short post. My husband is coming to visit us this afternoon. For those who don’t know yet, he is living in a assistant living home. Nine years ago he has had a major brain hemorrhage which has caused him to be paralyzed on his whole left side and also gave him cognitive brain damage. It is good to have him home, but it is also difficult to manage and smooth the social event. For this the fox qualities will come in handy. With clever maneuvers I will make this a joyful day and still  have enough energy to enjoy my evening when my husband has gone home again. 

My painting of Strength from The Hidden Realm Tarot

Yesterday I was inspired by my daily Tarot card the Five of Vessel - Ecstasy from the Wildwood Tarot to make art today. Due to my neck injury (which I am happy to say is gradually improving) I haven’t been painting or drawing for too long. So I've set  some time aside today for myself to play with my watercolors and pencils. I took the picture of Strength from The Hidden Realm Tarot painted by Julia Jeffrey as an example to work with. Although my skills aren't comparable to Julia’s I am very happy with the result and even more happy with the wonderful time I've had. I was humming and singing and painting and it felt like heaven. For today no tarot cards but some pictures showing the process of my painting adventure

First a drawing

Then some paint

A little bit more paint..

Followed by pencils

Finished!!

Five of Vessels – Ecstasy - Lift up your soul

For today I've pulled the Five of Vessels– Ecstasy from the Wildwood tarot. At first glance this card has nothing to do with its counterpart in the RW Tarot: the Five of cups. Remember the gloomy dark cloaked man focusing on his fallen cups but neglecting the ones standing up?

This young woman is dancing in the starry night in a pentagram, drawn in the sand. A bowl is standing on each point. It looks like she is dancing her heart out. She shows no sadness at all or perhaps she has thrown it all in her dance in a way that has brought her in an ecstatic state of mind. Wouldn’t that be a great way for us  civilized western people to express our grief. How would a funeral look like with all kinds of people dancing,singing and heartbreaking crying . How healing it would be if we only could…..

The  guidebook speaks about communing with the Universe/Divine through ecstasy. This can be induced by all kinds of different methods: art, dance, singing, sex, music; all sorts of right brain activities which will silence the rational ego. Then you'll feel one with who/whatever you want to feel one with (Higher self, God(dess) Universe etc) This blissful moment can last from a split second to an eternity. But as soon as you want to hold it you will lose it.

Although I am not the dancing type I do like to get in such state by listening to classical music or by drawing and painting. And while I am writing this I realize it has been to long since I‘ve made time for art. Tomorrow I am going to plan a date with myself to play with watercolors and brushes and paper and crayons and pencils and….  and…..  OMG I really want to do this J

Interview with the Wildwood Tarot

Never before have I done a deck interview spread with a new tarot deck. But yesterday, with this deck it felt like it was the appropriate thing to do. In that way we would get formally introduced to each other. Although I know it’s just a pack of 78 cards, it feels like there´s an old energy  surrounding this deck. It’s making me a little bit hesitant to approach it; to work with it. I’m not that overly sensitive, so this is rather new for me and I am wondering: who am I kidding? That’s why I decided to do the deck interview. I've mixed up some the other interview spreads that I've found online. These are the questions for my deck and the cards that I've drawn:

Wildwood Tarot deck  interview

1.       Who are you?

The Wheel -  I am the loom of the Wildwood and I will teach you how to weave

2.       What is your most important characteristic?

Eight of arrows -  I have enough courage and dedication to keep going even when our thoughts  collide and dilemma’s arise. I will keep my torch burning hoping for better times.

3.       What are you going to teach me?

The Gardian - I will show you how to face your fears and how to enter the dark caverns of your mind.

4.       what can I give you in return?

Ten of arrows -  Respect and reverence and an open communication

5.       What are your strengths as a deck?

Knight of bows – fox – I am determined, dynamic and clever, and where necessary innovating.

6.       What will our relationship be like?

Four of vessels – beware of boredom and disenchantment after the first rush of infatuation . We’ll strive to keep things fresh and alive and search for new challenges.

7.       Is there anything else you would like to tell me about yourself?

Queen of vessels – My child I will guide you with love through the Wildwood and I’ll ask you to dedicate yourself with an honest and open mind to our journey together

This was a very deep experience. I just sat at my table watching my cards and felt really connected to whatever it was I felt. For some cards I had to look up additional information in the guide book but the overall message was very clear… I had to laugh about the gift of respect this deck wants from me. I was right about that J

Also the Fox of bows has given an unexpected touch to this reading. “Innovating and clever” wasn't what I had in mind for this deck. It has added an unknown spark of wit to it.

This reading has been very helpful to get the edge of our first real encounter and we’ll see where we’ll go from here.

Page of Vessels – Otter: Going with the flow

Page of Vessels - Otter
Wildwood Tarot

After having drawn two aces from the Anna K Tarot, which felt very stimulating but also somewhat demanding,  I've chosen another deck for today: My Wildwood Tarot by Mark Ryan and John Matthews and illustrated by Will Worthington. How I long for the day I can say: ”My trusty old Wildwood Tarot” J

But let’s stay in the moment and focus on my daily draw: The page of Vessels (cups) aka Otter. Keep breathing Ellen: A courtcard depicting an animal! That’s something entirely new! What a way to start with a new deck. 

My first impression of this card is playfulness. If you've ever seen an otter in the water you know what I mean. They are also social and loving to their fellow otters. An otter can live both on land as well as in water. In both environments they feel equally at home. I love to see an otter floating in  the river stream. It looks  wonderful and so effortless.

Now let’s see what the guidebook has to say about this page of vessels

It says this animal can be seen as a mediator between the worlds. Of course they highlight the playful character and the intuitive, sensitive side of this page. For me he’s a welcome pause and reassurance after the aces. He can help me to intuitively know whether to focus on the ace of wands or on the ace of swords or…… to let the aces be for a while and contemplate the splendor of everyday life during meditation or just while pondering and doing nothing. Since “Going with the flow” is my theme of this month I am happy to be accompanied by this beautiful animal 

Ace of swords – clarity and a new way of thinking

Ace of swords - Anna K Tarot

Today again a Daily draw from The Ann K Tarot.  And surprise, surprise, again an ace. This time the ace of swords.

Yesterday I’ve discovered how important it is to encourage your inner child with love and patience. I want to thank everybody for their kind comments. It has meant a lot to me. Today I am going to encounter this issue from a swords point a view. When it is difficult to start something new it’s also important to know if your thought patterns either work for you or work against you. In my case I would definitely say they don’t work in my favor right now. J

This ace of swords brings us clarity. It reveals what is helpful and what needs to be changed. Look at that bright shining sun up in the yellow sky. The woman is standing on a mountain. She’s putting some distance between her and the situation at hand to get a clear overview. Perhaps this card is a wake-up call (again!!!) to change my limiting beliefs in to positive challenges and affirmations. A different approach to the problem will certainly lead to a different reaction of my feelings so I will overcome the blockages I have set up for myself. As of today I will speak to my inner kid as motivating and encouraging as possible and I will not bother it any more with doubts and grown up issues J

Ace of wands – I know I can do it!

Ace of wands - Anna K Tarot

For today’s draw I've got the ace of wands from the Anna K Tarot. This ace is all about  new inspiration, trying new things, enthusiasm, energy etc. It’s a very appropriate card for me to start the week with, for I lack most of these qualities. The last few days I feel I’m a bit in a rut. There’re some things I want to do, to try  but I can’t seem to get started. I feel stuck, probable afraid of failing (one of the anxieties I have). When I think of starting something new all those alarm bells go off and I stop before I've even tried it. I beat myself up over not doing what I want and that doesn't help much either.  I suppose it’s my inner kid who is afraid. And who would beat up his child for lack of faith in herself. I should encourage her rather than being strict and severe. Look at this girl balancing to the other side gleaming with joy from all the cheers she's hearing: Come on! You can do it! You’re the best!. Perhaps the first step of accomplishing anything is loving my inner girl and complement her whenever I can; building up her self esteem and self confidence. I am sure in this way I can create a much more safe environment, for both me and my girl, to experiment and play. J

Mary, mother of us all

With a cup of coffee beside me, I want to write about my little trip with my eldest daughter to a Christmas fair. Yes, here in the Netherlands they too start sooner and sooner with those fairs. It used the be custom to wait after the departure of Sinterklaas at December 5 but the commerce has a strong foothold here too.

We did enjoy ourselves very much and we managed to pick up some nice things out of the thousands of  items that were  displayed at this fair. It was overwhelming! The most precious thing that I've bought for myself is a little statue of Mary. There were lots of the same Mary’s on the shelf but as soon as I’d picked up mine she felt very special to me. Now she has a place in my room and I've lit her a tea light

For me Mary is an aspect of the Goddess: She is the compassionate mother.  She is strongly connected to Isis. They both bore a son( Jesus and Horus) as a virgin at December 25. I have been raised with the stories of the bible and so when Yule/Christmas time arrives I cannot shed my upbringing and I do celebrate the birth of a savior with the story of Mary and Jesus instead of Isis and Horus. So I am very happy to have a statue of Mother Mary

Four of Cups – Living in the present moment

Legacy of the Divine Tarot

For today I've drawn my daily card from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti. It’s the four of cups. This card is slightly different than other four of cups'  in different decks. Instead of not looking at the presented fourth cup, this man is gazing at the cup as if there was nothing else to look at. In his perception this is the most beautiful cup in the whole world. So instead of interpreting this card as boredom and a lethargic feeling, I would see it more as never be satisfied with what you have and always looking for the next quick fix or rush. This goes beyond buying  more and more decks.J  It can be a way of thinking about every aspect of your life. Material stuff, job, relationship and so forth.

The most obvious solution to this problem is also the most difficult: It is living in the Now; moment, by moment, by moment ….

I get easily distracted by media, advertising and longing for more than I have/am now. But when I am aware of where and when I am, I'm totally content and satisfied and so grateful for my life and who I have become. There is no desire to change this, just to go forth moment by moment  by moment and change will present itself in its own time

My first impressions of the Wildwood tarot

It has been a  bumpy road but after a long wait I finally am the proud owner of  my Wildwood Tarot by Mark Ryan,John Matthews and Will Worthington!

The Wildwood Tarot with my most (four of stones)and least (nine of bows) favorite card

Since its publication in 2011, I have been tempted to buy this deck but I always could find a reason not to: the colors were not as vibrant as the Druidcraft Tarot, the people with animal heads has put me off, it didn't follow the R.W system and so forth. But the deck kept pulling me and then I noticed other people blogging about the cards of this deck.  Some of those cards really got to me and finally I gave in: I bought the deck  from Book Depository, hoping I would get the second edition with the world tree on the backs. How happy I was when I received my long awaited package (new edition). Due to prior experiences I examined all the cards; fronts and backs. It seemed okay but the second last card, the nine of vessels had a white paint stain on the back. I wouldn't be able to read with the deck because you would always be able to tell one from the other. I mailed to BD and they asked for a picture or the stained card. After I had send it, they immediately responded: “ I’m very sorry to hear about this. In this case we will be happy to offer a full refund or free replacement for the damaged item, whichever you would prefer? There is no need to return the damaged copy.”

The Forest Lovers - Wildwood Tarot

How cool is that. What a great service! Of course I wanted a replacement. Yesterday evening it was delivered to me by mail (again the second edition!) and after a thorough check I saw it was in perfect condition. Thank you Book Depository!

I only have flipped through the cards a couple of times, and picked my most and least favorite card. That was hard for I love all of them. And that it a first too. Never had a deck from which I favored all the cards. I am planning to play and bond with them before I am going to blog about them.

This deck is also very important to me because I want to use it for the journey I have set out for myself: to follow the turning of the wheel for one year  and to search for a personal meaning for each of the holidays. Since this is the theme of this deck we couldn’t be a better match.

Or course I cannot tell a lot about the cards or the deck as a whole yet but I just wanted to share my enthusiasm and my first impressions J

Making a Choice - Tarot boxes

Today I wasn't going to post something. I wanted day of. Yesterday my daughter and I went shopping. We had  a lot of fun together but since it’s a busy time here, I was rather tired. Making some pictures of my new stuff was all I’d planned to do. But then I drew my daily card and it was Making a Choice of the Enchanted Map Oracle Cards. It made me Laugh. Of course you can interpret this card on a very in depth level about life choices but the only thing that came to mind was me and my daughter trying to make up our mind about what to buy and what to leave in the store. J

Among other things I was lucky to find some book boxes. These are boxes that look like books. The tiny ones were precisely big enough to store a tarotdeck, the slightly larger ones, I will use to put a deck and its guidebook in perhaps with some crystals or herbs; I don’t’ really know yet  but I loved them so much and had to take them home with me.

Larger box with my Shadowscapes Tarot

Small boxes with my Mythic Tarot

My cheatsheet for life

The Enchanted Map Oracle Cards

Every morning when I get up I feel like I have a second chance at life again. I need to have that chance because I tend to forget all my intentions, promises and commitments and even my own wishes; my heart’s desires. Perhaps it is my age. My doctor once said, everybody over 50 needs a notebook in his pocket.J

But it could be something entirely else. Intentions and so forth all have  to do with change. And what can be more fearful than change. To leave a familiar status quo, even when it’s not working or is unhealthy, can cause a lot of anxiety and insecurity. We want to change our ways for the better, but even though we aspire a healthy and spiritual life we keep falling back to our old habits and behavior patterns. Reading other peoples blogs and watching their Youtube video has made me aware of the fact that I ‘m not alone in this. But I think I've found a creative solution for  my (our) problem….

Yesterday evening I've watched a video from MonsoonMagick about a blessing box on her altar. She puts little pieces of paper in there with blessings she wants to invite in to her life and intentions she want to manifest. I have transformed this idea (combined it with my doctors advice) to an intention journal/notebook, not only for on my altar but to carry it with me where ever I go and to read it whenever I want to.

My little intention notebook

This idea is right in time for my Samhain resolutions/wishes etc. I am planning to write in this little book every holiday and new moon. Here I will list my intentions, my wishes ,my practices and everything I want to commit to.  It is also great to revisit en evaluate previous entries from past holidays  and new moons. Keep in mind that it’s not a journal  but rather a little book with lists and keywords. Like a cheatsheet for life J

Just before I've posted this I've pulled a card from The Enchanted Map Oracle Cards and what do you know; it was “Commitment”: “A true commitment is a responsibility of the heart mind body and soul. This is a good time to make one.”

New moon in November

So short after the festivities of Halloween/Samhain it’s already time to celebrate the new moon in November. The first new moon after the Celtic new year.  A time for letting go of old and no longer serving idea’s and attitudes and to embrace new ones, which may be helping and strengthening. Also it’s the time to reassess what it is you want in life and if you’re still on the right track. Tarot can be very helpful for this purpose.

Before I've drawn my cards, I have meditated a while to calm myself down and to reconnect with divinity. As usually I have visualized a circle around me, not so much for protection but more to feel embraced by the Goddess. This time was the first time I have called the Goddess in four of her aspects to represent the elements and the four quarters of the wheel of the year.( this is an idea I've got from Neopaganpriestess). I've called Persephone (in maiden aspect) for air and spring, Freya for fire and summer, Hekate for water and autumn and Holda for earth and winter

From the Goddess inspiration oracle by Kris Waldherr

It felt good and it was far more easy to connect with Her than when I just call the elements. I called on Isis to represent Spirit and the Goddess as a whole. The meditation was good and whenever my mind wandered it was like she brought me back again and again and again….. J

Afterwards  I've drawn two cards from the Osho Zen tarot

Osho Zen Tarot

Release: Schizophrenia ( two of swords). Well It’s very obvious that I would be glad to let go of this attitude. Although I know from experience that it’s so difficult since I’m such a swordy lady. I like to keep thinking an rethinking and postponing instead of making a decision from the heart and trusting my intuition to be right. The figure in this card is holding on to every possible solution but he has to choose, for not choosing at all is also a choice.

Embrace: Going with the flow (Ace of cups) this cards represents just the opposite of the first  card and it’s so difficult for me. Writing this I feel that it’s my insecurity, my fear of making a mistake which keeps me from flowing free. When you go with the flow you’ll give up control and let the Universe guide you where you need to be right now and what the best choices are for you at this moment. The only thing we have to do is trust and surrender to Love. Because that’s what this card connects to the Ace of cup; The ever flowing Love

There’s a clear connection to yesterdays card Flying, which told me get out of the maze and fly free where my intuition is guiding me. I think this is a beautiful theme for this month

It will be a challenge not to see this as a challenge of  my willful mind but to give myself freely the pleasure of going with the flow J