New moon in April

Instead of drawing some cards for this new moon, I have decided to choose them intentionally so they would represent what I want to accomplish during this coming lunation.
I choose the Four of Swords and the Princess of Cups from the Druidcraft Tarot.

The fours of Swords represents my intention to quiet down my always busy mind. At first, I thought it could be a good idea to start meditating daily again but knowing myself, I realized this would be very hard to accomplish. I think it would be better for me if I could choose from various options: meditating, riding my bike. sitting with Jofee on my lap, taking a walk, playing with watercolors... etc. anything which would calm my racing thoughts goes.
The Princess of Cups represents my state of being when I will succeed in this; even if it is only for a second or two. She is connected to her heart, the place where feelings whisper and true wisdom comes from. She is totally willing to hear and listen to the messages of her heart. The flow of these messages is a constant in her life because she has no problem to tune into them. I don't expect to be like the Princess of Cups in four weeks but I am willing to commit to this practice and to see where it will lead me.

Five of Air - Fear

Today's card is Five of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. It's called Fear. When I saw this card my throat tightened and I felt almost immediately my anxiety creeping up on me. How could I write about fear? How could I share the magnitude of the hold it has over me. Fear is my constant companion and my biggest enemy.  It protects me from having to take risks and it prevents me from living a full life. It binds me to home, it lets my paints go to waist. It keeps me from playfully trying but it also prevents me from failing.
The question this card is asking me is how to face and perhaps even befriend my fear. How to coax it gently from de driver's seat to the back seat. Fear should not be seen as an enemy but as a way of learning about possible risks and how to proceed with caution and curiosity. Only when Fear is taking over all other instincts and our will to move forward we have to step up and say: "No more of this!"
Today this card has inspired me to blog and express myself, despite feeling blocked and thinking I have nothing to add to the conversation. I think Fear and I are going to have a serious chat about who is in charge of Ellen...

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." Thich Nhat Hanh

Five of Swords Not everything is worth bickering about

Today’s question to draw a card with is part of the April Tarot Challenge by @Lionharts on IG. Yes, you have read it correctly: I am participating in an IG challenge again. I might not complete it but for now, I am enjoying it a lot.

"How can I make the most of this weekend?" And I got the Five of Swords. This card is telling me to avoid conflict about trivial matters. It's a waste of energy and it will only spoil the mood of this wonderful  Spring weekend with lots of sunshine and warm temperatures. Too often conflicts are mostly about ego needing to be right and victorious and they are poison to a loving relationship. So how do I try to let go of this desire?

The Emperor: clearly I need to let go of the need to be in control all of the time. This is a reoccurring theme in my personal readings lately. More and more I feel this urge is getting the better of me and in the end, it’s never worth the cost.

What energy could feed my intention to pay close attention to the advice of the two previous cards?

The Wheel: another old friend who comes along quite frequently regardless of what deck I use. This card only confirms what The Emperor has been telling me all along. Life moves in circles and we have to figure out when it is time to speak up and when it is time to let go. Choose your battles wisely and timely and enjoy life as much as you can. There is some much joy to be found in the little things. Let’s not waste our time by quarreling and squabbling over nothing.

Two of Wands - Trust, have a little bit of faith and relax.

Today's card is the Two of Wands from the Joie the Vivre Tarot.  A sunny and joyful card on a rainy April day. The question I asked myself to draw a card with was: How can I nurture myself today?
This card is about reflection on where you've come from, listening to your intuition so you will know where to go from here and imagining and preparing for your future. Outwardly, it might seem like we're are doing nothing worthwhile but on the inside, a lot is going on.  The challenge of this card is to find a balance between being active and letting our ideas and intentions having a life of their own: about not striving and clinging to the desired outcome too much.
Since I like to be in control almost all of the time, I like to know exactly where my life is heading, what obstacles I might expect on the way and how long it will take me to go from A to Z without any detours. Yes, I know life doesn't work this way but like many of us, I often live by the illusion that is does.
Today this card is telling me to ease up, to let go of my expectations and to trust that God or the Universe will respond to what I have put out there in a loving generous and wonderful way ( so much better than to expect gloom and doom because I don't like to be disappointed  :))
Taking care of myself today might be about learning to have a bit more trust and faith in this Loving Energy.

Six of Pentacles - Receiving isn't easy

Today's card is the Six of Pentacles from the Druidcraft Tarot. This is a card of giving and or receiving benefits. It also speaks about a fair balance between the two. Finding that balance can be a hard thing to do. Especially when you're on the giving side of the equation. Givers don't like to admit they need help or other resources just like anyone else. They almost need to be coaxed into receiving the gifts we want to give them. A lot of these givers have probably been spoonfed with the words that "it's better to give than to receive. ”
I know, because I am one of them. It's hard for me to express my needs to others and ask for help but I am getting better at it. In order to do that I have to open up and be prepared to be vulnerable. I think it's about time I start practicing this more seriously....
So for today I will try be mindful to graciously accept a helping hand, a compliment, some loving attention and even more, to ask for this if needed.