Two of Wands – Choices, choices, choices.

For today I have drawn the Two of Wands from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot and it is pretty obvious what this card is all about: we have to make a choice in order to move forward. In the picture we see two beautifully adorned wands and also two locked boxes in mid air and one key floating between them. There is no way of telling which of the two boxes is holding something  of value for us or if the key only fits on one lock. Do we have only one chance to try to open a box  or perhaps maybe  two ? How can we be sure? Should we wait for more information or just try? All these questions and possibilities can cause you to freeze instead of making the choice. Because how on earth can we be sure we will make the right choice. Maybe both options are right. Our mind keeps working on high speed but it is like we are running in circles and there is no way out.

I often feel like this. I find it hard to make decisions. When there is really a pressing situation which has to be dealt with, I am  more determined and unwavering then when it is about the small things in life: What will we have fro dinner? What shall I wear? Do I need new shoes and  when and where shall I buy them? What movie will we watch? What will I draw? What book will I read next?

There are numerous choices to be made on a daily basis and I think it is a miracle we are not all hiding our head under the pillows. Luckily we can rely on previous decisions: I don’t have to consider all the brands of detergent anymore: I chose my own familiar brand. Still there are enough choices left for me today: “what deck will I choose” was the most recent.

Six of Cups - Leaving the past behind

For today I've drawn the Six of Cups from the Crystal Visions Tarot. A woman is coming out of a pond filled with Lilies and Cups, leaving a small child behind. The child urges her to take a cup with her but the woman declines,smiles to her and walks away.

This card is all about sweet childhood memories and nostalgia: about reminiscing or worse clinging to the past. The child represents our inner child, the one who longs for reassurance, safety and being cared for. But that time has past. The woman has to move on into the unknown.

There is nothing wrong with remembering the past and spending time with happy memories as long as we don’t get to attached to them or expect them to be more than just memories. It is also important to keep our inner child happy but this can be done by taking her out to play or making a messy free flow painting as well. Giving her new experiences instead of reliving the old ones. Even our inner child has to grow and to be challenged otherwise she will be suffocated in a pond full of memories.

Nine of Waters - Embracing where and who I am in this moment

“A woman enters a sacred sea cave and lifts her arms to receive the embrace of the Ocean Mother. She sings a song of devotion as waves crash and salt spray kisses her brow. As she sings in harmony with the rushing wind and the tide, she enters into a mystical state of ecstasy. When she leaves, she gathers nine white stones that carry the energy of the cave and the song she sang to the Mother.” 

This morning I drew the Nine of Waters from the Gaian Tarot and seeing this card made me very happy on a deep emotional level. We often interpret the Nine of Cups as the wish card but the woman in this card has everything her heart desires. She is fully aware of the present moment and she is connected with Spirit with every fiber of her being. For now that is all I need. After the emotional tide wave of last weekend I am grateful to get the message that all is well and that Spirit mothers me when I need Her too.

Queen of Wands - getting back into the swing of things

Yesterday I came home from a visit to my mother and it made me very happy she’s had a lovely time. There is probable in each woman’s life a time when we have to acknowledge our mother is past mothering and when we visit her we give our love and time freely and patiently without the expectation of feeling nurtured and being fully accepted for who we are today. Being free from expectation is hard, so when I returned home I felt rather tired. This morning I didn't feel like doing anything but just sit and rest. But my mind kept churning over my experiences from the last couple of days and since I didn't want to sulk and pity myself any longer, I pulled a card for some comfort and support and I pulled the Queen of Wands from the Shadowscapes Tarot. Here we see the queen playing on her living harp. All the denizens of the forest gather around to listen to her uplifting tunes. Curling leaves are unfolding. The earth is moving in spirals, inwards and outward .Nobody and nothing in her presence can muck about and pout while her fingers are dancing across the strings. I cannot identify with this queen,not yet but she is a great inspiration to follow the humming energy of my creativity which always makes me happy. So now I am going upstairs to work on a painting: adding some layers of paint and pastels. And I am sure I can shake this feeling of disillusion.

Nine of Wands - Watch over me

For today I have drawn the Nine of Wands from my far too long neglected Shadowscapes Tarot.

We see a row of sentinels at the edge of the world where every evening the sun goes down and unknown enemies come crawling out of the abyss to hide in the  shadows, waiting….

One of the keywords for this cards is vigilance. Be prepared for whatever might happen. It speaks to me about living in fear of eventualities which may never happen or are very unlikely to happen. After some traumatic events a long time ago, I've lived like this for many years. Afraid of the outside world and anyone who might harm me or my children. Now, when I look back nobody was out to get me, nobody followed us in the shadows. Maybe because I have been such a watchful guard but probable because nothing threatening was out there. I feel sorry for this fearful woman who is still around but gradually less prominent.  Maybe I could try to see these sentinels as our guardian angels and trust we are watched over by the Divine. That would suit me quite well since I am going to visit my mother for a couple of days and traveling is for me still quite an undertaking.

Finding some spiritual peace

Today's card is Crown Chakra from the Conscious Spirit Oracle by Kim Dreyer.
The crown chakra is our link to Source energy, to the Divine, to our higher self and even to the celestial hand in the Ace of Cups from yesterday’s post .
When this chakra is fully opened and all its thousand petals are unfolded we can experience pure love and spiritual peace. We finally come to the understanding that One is all and all is One. We can experience the Divine for what it truly is and receive guidance when we need it. Some say we can even reach enlightenment.
As you all know by now, from time to time I have those periods when I doubt about divinity ,how to connect to the divine and a lot of other spiritual questions. Well  lately the same old questions has been on my mind again: Am I on the right path? Who says I am not totally lost without knowing it? Who is God(dess), What does the God of my child hood thinks of my defection?
One moment I find myself praying to a loving deity and the other moment I think I am completely nuts. But this morning just before I drew this card I was singing in the car to God(dess) and suddenly it struck me God(dess) is everything and everywhere and always. It is not about “instead of” but more about “in addition to”. To me God(dess) is every divine energy from every culture or time. So if I want to see God(dess) as a Germanic Deity and the next day as my childhood father in heaven it doesn’t matter, because they all originate from the same Source energy.

Of course this isn't really anything new but for me today it felt like I was the woman in this card, feeling like I had some kind of earth shocking revelation while driving home with all my groceries. Sometimes you just have to review old ideas again to really grasp their meaning

Ace of Cups - Willing to receive?

For today I've drawn the Ace of Cups from the Original Rider Waite tarot. A perfect card for anyone who wants to revive their Self love practice. Yesterday, Catherine from AppleRiver Tarot Readings commented the following on my post about The Lovers:

“we need to love ourselves the way the Creator loves us, and that is with kindness, and mercy and with great compassion. “

This really resonated with me on such a deep level.  

Then this morning I pulled this Ace of Cups. A hand from the Clouds is offering us Love in the most pure and selfless form. Without restraint or expectations: just as a generous gift, to accept and to cherish.  I am certain it is the hand of the Creator depicted here. The ultimate Divine source. Maybe it is about time I stopped trying to do everything myself and keeping my ego busy and occupied.  I am even trying to find enough remnants of love within me to give to myself.  Instead, maybe it is time to turn to the One who is always there for us, whatever we chose to call or however  we to choose to see the Divine. The only thing that matters here and now is that I believe this love is given to me freely and that I am willing put my ego aside and receive this beautiful gift.

The Lovers – Love me tender, love me sweet

Today’s card is The Lovers from the Joie de Vivre Tarot. As I have stated before, often in a personal reading this card symbolizes my relationship with myself.

We see two trusting lovers going on a journey together. They are holding hands, gazing in each other’s eyes and a little bird is flying back en forth, carrying love letters.

I like how their cloaks have such large ears so they can truly be attentive to each other’s thoughts and needs.

It is a timely card for me. A reminder to give my Self love practice some much needed attention. As many of my generation, I was raised to be humble and not to draw attention to skills I was proud of, or knowledge I had gained. It was also considered ill mannered to tend to your own needs first. Instead you should take care of others and hope and pray they would do the same for you.

Much later in my life I learned to trust, nurture and love myself and be proud of what I have accomplished so far in my life. Yes and even to celebrate this. Still it feels strange to compliment myself and accept who I am. And to go even further, not only accept who I am but to love and embrace myself fully. I thought I was fairly kind to myself. But then I realized kindness is not Love.

So I am going to start a “courtship” with myself by writing me a beautiful love letter. I hope this will be the start of an encouraging an uplifting self talk in my journal.

The Fool - Let’s go for it!

This morning I asked: “What do I need to do to feel joy today?” and I pulled The Fool from the Joie de Vivre Tarot, which, now I write this down almost sounds like a two and the same things.

Like with many other Fool cards we see the main character heading for the cliff while a little companion tries to warn him/her  for the danger ahead. But here we are actually seeing these dangers in the monster-infested water below. A little spider dangles from her staff as a  symbol of weaving your own destiny

“Trust your inner-voice to guide you to travel the road which is best for you. Operate from the essence of your true self, and use your energy wisely. Look beyond the horizon for opportunities. See the world with new eyes to appreciate the beauty within and around you. Be inspired, and follow the magic that life has to offer while on the path of self-development.”

I think you all know me well enough to understand I am not a Fool type of person. Being often guided by fear I want to plan everything in advance and rule out (although I know this to be impossible) every possible risk and/or danger. So how do I go about this day. I guess as always with baby steps. This way I increase my change of success. I might chose something different to eat or to wear, to be more open minded to new ways of thinking. Or perhaps drawing with a different medium. We do so many things always the same way, it might be fun to stir things up a bit. So I won’t be  jumping of  the cliff yet but maybe I could try to do something out of the ordinary today.

Queen of Pentacles – Taking care of Everybody

Today’s card is the Queen of Pentacles from the Joie de Vivre Tarot by Paulina Cassidy. The perfect card for Easter Monday.  The queen is sitting quietly near a clear brook. She is holding a Pentacle in her arms which to me resembles a cushion with a heart and the moon phases embroidered on it. With one of her other hands she is petting the hare sitting beside her.

Yesterday , Easter Sunday, was  in general a good day but also as usual an exhausting day. My husband was happy and content and that is something to be thankful for. Also the rest of the family had a pleasant day, everybody enjoyed M’s Easter wreath , cookies and some buns. Dinner was good. When my husband went home again it was time for me to send my hare goodbye until next year’s Easter. I embraced my heart and cuddled it softly. Some special me-time was called for; not only for that evening but also for today. 
Because of my Hermity nature I always need some time to regroup myself after such a social event. And I wondered what would be the best way for me to do this:

Then I pulled the Seven of Wands and I had to laugh out loud. What  a lovely reminder of yesterday’s post. Look at me standing there, defending the worthwhile; my own space, my own needs. Not always easy but definitely necessary  J

So for today I am going to keep to myself and do the things  I love to do: blogging, meditation, reading,..... 

I hope you all have a lovely Easter Monday too.

Defend to the End, the Worthwhile

Today’s card is "Defend to the End, the Worthwhile" from the Sacred Rebels Oracle.  The woman in the card is adorned with feathers and she has an owl shaped headdress. It is not quite clear if the owl is alive or just an ornament but for me the woman and the owl merge  together into one being. This is reinforced by the monochrome coloring of the card.

This woman is the archetype of the Sacred Warrior who lives within us all. She reminds me a lot of the figure in Nine of Wands. Although she is not bruised physically, she is hurt on the inside by grief and sadness caused by opposing injustice and oppression. The owl is symbolizing her wisdom to discern what is worth fighting for. He also is a relentless predator who strikes when necessary to survive and he teaches us to kill (cast aside) what is no longer serving our highest truth.

The question which needs to be answered is; What is worthwhile to defend? I  guess some values are not negotiable, like Love, Truth, Freedom etc. But there are always personal interests which we want to defend with all our might and strength, like our home, the safety of our loved ones and for this weekend my personal space and freedom when my family will be together to celebrate Easter.  It doesn't matter what you will defend as long as it has great value for you and doesn't conflict with the freedom of others.

For now this will be my last draw from this deck. I might pick it up again soon because I am going follow the series about the Sacred Feminine by Raecine on her Youtube channel Owlmoon 513 and I think among others, this will be a great deck to work with.

HAPPY EASTER!

Inspiration

Today’s card is “Inspiration” from the Sacred Rebels Oracle.  Again we see a woman with bizarre, but beautiful hairdo. It looks  like a Cornucopia filled with various colorful flowers.  Her face is glowing from expectation for the wonder which is about to happen. In the background a light is shining, probably sunlight, which symbolizes confidence and success. So many flowers in full bloom with their petals wide open, displaying  their private parts to a swarm of bees and waiting anxiously to be pollinated. Everything in the card is waiting for the bees to do their job.

Sometimes your head is jam-packed with ideas. But that’s it, you are stuck in the mud and unable to do anything about it. What a waste of idea’s and energy to keep up the blockade. But fear not, help is on the way because the wisdom of bees, their drive to work without giving up if things gets difficult or challenging, will guide you to find your inner courage to give form to your ideas and to enjoy the process of bringing them into reality.
And when you have succeeded bringing them into the light you will be rewarded with deep fulfillment and the taste of victory of honey and nectar.

“Beelieve this is a card of sweet success”