The second new moon in January

This month we have two new moons. Some call this one the black moon. Personally I don’t feel this new moon has more meaning than any other new moon. Nevertheless, I have adjusted my ritual a bit to try out something new. I've visualized  my circle by calling the elements as I’m used to. It felt pleasant and familiar. For the first time I've incorporated mantra singing in my meditation and I loved it very much. I've chosen to chant a mantra for Tara,originally a Hindu mother goddess whose name means star. Later on she was adopted by Buddhism and now she is widely known as a goddess of o.a. peace, wisdom and compassion but it seems she has some fierce strong attributes too. This mantra has a peaceful feel to it. It is short and easy to remember and it did connect me very well to the Goddess. I didn't expect it to be such a fulfilling experience. I think I will try to do this in my daily meditation too and see if it is something that works for me.

After my meditation I drew two cards from the Osho Zen tarot

Release: Seven of Rainbows –Patience.  

At first sight, his card as Release card did confuse me. Just recent I had another seven of pentacles and I rather enjoyed its message. But then, that might be just the problem. This card is all about waiting patiently, being passive, but perhaps after my “hibernation” of the last few months patience can easily turn into sleepiness or indifference. And that is something I have to be aware of and let go. With the coming of Spring it time to shake off my indolence and become more active and alive

Embrace:  XIX Innocence.

My first impression is to encounter every moment with the innocence of a child and see all things as it was for the first time.

This old man has a playful conversation with the praying mantis . I wonder what they are talking about. The pink flowers are falling around him as a symbol of his innocence and of letting go of preconceived notions and ideas.

 “The innocence of children is beautiful, but ignorant. It will be replaced by mistrust and doubt as the child grows and learns that the world can be a dangerous and threatening place. But the innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonder of life.”

I like to understand this as a message to be open minded and open hearted for the changes of nature when we move into the next season and also for the wonder in everyone I meet and everything I see and experience. To except wholeheartedly the gift of change in my life. And most of all to be like a child; alive and awake in every moment. 

Imbolc Contemplation with the Wildwood tarot

The Ancestor

In two days the wheel of the year will turn to Imbolc. The first Holiday of the new year. This is the time when nature is stirring beneath the frozen earth. Slowly but undeniable Spring is working her way through the cold of winter. It hasn't been that cold this year in Holland so perhaps Mother Nature may still have some surprises up her sleeve. Bulbs are pushing their green shoots up and I've already seen some purple Crocus buds. Imbolc is the holiday of new beginnings and the returning of light and fertility. It is custom to burn a lot of candles with Imbolc and eat a dish with milk as ingredient, like pancakes or porridge. The latter is done to celebrate the beginning of the lambing season and the lactation of the ewes.  

The Wildwood tarot has assigned two Major Arcana cards to Imbolc: The Ancestor and the Pole star. The suit of stones, which was the winter suit, has made place for the suit of arrows. This is the suit of the East and of Spring: Everything starts with a thought.

The Ancestor is a mythological figure who is half human and half reindeer. She is dressed in reindeer skins. She is summoning us with her drum to start the journey which is set out by a  row of Birches, leading us into the forest. The new moon in the skye is also a sign of a new beginning; a new challenge

The Pole Star

The ancestor figure is inspired by Elen of the ways, a ancient British goddess with antlers, whose name means light and who travels along the old migratory paths from the reindeer. She knows the way and if we stray she will find us with her light

And it isn't a great surprise The Pole Star is the other Major Arcana Card. This star is leading the way when we enter the forest which was in the background of the Ancestor card. It is a card of spiritual knowledge, hope and inspiration.  We know on a deep level our journey will be successful if we follow this star. What  a wonderful compass to carry within

These cards are very timely for me.  As is the careful beginning of Spring with Imbolc and the second new moon this month. I am feeling rather excited by my quest for the Goddess. I see new ways of getting to know Her and I feel  more free to develop my own understanding of Her and also to create my own practice. I thought the drum of The Ancestor which is adorned with the triskele, is very appropriate, since this has become the symbol of my journey. I wish you all a very happy Imbolc.

Ten of Stones: Home is where the heart is

Wildwood Tarot

The Ten of Stones – Home, from the Wildwood Tarot made me immediately think of the title of this post. It does sound a little bit cheesy but nobody can deny  there is truth in this saying. But then perhaps it also means we have to “move” a lot in life. J

In the days when people lived in houses as depicted in this card (Iron Age) life was fairly simple. It was a society where everybody knew his place and did what was expected. The house was a refuge for cold and danger. There was a fire, food and a place to sleep. But the most important thing, what made this house a home was family. The togetherness of people who loved each other. A family gives care and emotional shelter; stability and traditions.

Nowadays life is much more complicated. Families are smaller and widespread and sometimes extended with or replaced by friends. Families are left behind to make place for new families More and more people are living alone and make a home for themselves. Security and stability have to be worked hard for. Sometimes it seems the home is literally where your heart is. In YOU. When you feel at home with yourself you can carry your fire and shelter anywhere you go. You can even invite and warm others by your crackling fire. It can be as simple as an idea of security within yourself or as detailed as a visualization of a house with everything you need to feel good and at peace or… everything in between. Does this mean I think the value of family is overrated? Not at all, but I've learned sadly enough that it is wise to have more irons in the fire: the cozy hearth in the middle of the longhouse where the family gathers and your own heart, where you are always warm and safe.

Seven of Pentacles – take a break

Crystal Visions Tarot

This morning I have drawn the seven of Pentacles from the Crystal Visions Tarot. The woman in the picture is sitting between the roots of the tree. It looks almost as if she is merging with it, like the dryads in the branches. Her eyes are closed. Is she looking at her bowl with picked fruits, or is she dozing off? Either way she is totally relaxed and trusting the Pentacles to grow and ripen by themselves. There is nothing urgent to do, no activities on the calendar. How wonderful that must be. Just taking a well deserved break of everything and watching the world go by.

It is not that difficult. Perhaps we have to let go of our notion we are indispensable. Let’s be honest. Who doesn't think; I know best, I will take care of them, I will solve that problem etc. We like to think we are needed but sometimes we also want break free from the everyday hustle and sit back, relax and take stock of our lives and ask ourselves: How can we be more at ease, less stressed out and overworked and most important how can we become less important in our own perception? Just try to let the grass grow by itself and trust everything will be okay in the end.

Salmon – Life is worth the effort

Druid Animal Oracle

For today another card from the Druidcraft Animal Oracle: the Salmon. The keywords are: wisdom inspiration and rejuvenation. We see the Salmon leaping from the water to pluck the seed of a Hazel tree (the tree of wisdom) from the air. For the druids the salmon was the oldest and wisest animal of them all. It is in the nature of the Salmon to return to the place of their birth to mate and spawn. It is a very dangerous and difficult journey to return to their source. They have to overcome many obstacles.

Sometimes it is wise to recapitulate your life’s journey to understand where you've come from and how you've got here. And through that wisdom you can be inspired to continue where you've  left off or perhaps make a change for the better.

Salmon is teaching us to use our intuition; to listen to our gut feelings and to be kind to ourselves and others when it gets difficult. Sometimes we do have to swim upstream to follow our bliss. Who said life was easy. But Salmon knows it worth it when she finally spawns. It is quite understandable the Queen of Vessels from The Wildwood Tarot is also depicted as a Salmon.

The Goddess with a thousand names

Writing the Goddess' name

I have been thinking a lot about my last post about how to get the know the Goddess by naming aspects, qualities and attributes; by coming up with suitable adjectives and epithets. I also thought it would be a good idea to do some collage. Up till now it is hard to find pictures which represent Her and at the same time don’t confine Her. So I find myself back behind my laptop with a new Word Doc.

How am I going to capture Her essence in words?

Which words can describe Her without limiting Her?

Since She is all encompassing, where do I start?

To be honest I speak a lot about God(dess) but momentarily I perceive God as Female. This differs from time to time but for now I will address God as She and Her. Feel free to substitute these words by He and Him or They and Them

In my opinion the goddess is represented by numerous goddesses/archetypes. In every culture there are for instance a mother, a warrior, a maiden, a protectress, a wise woman, a lover, an enchantress, a teacher, a healer, a storyteller, a weaver, a spinner, a witch, a wild, woman….. etc.

These words tell us something about Her, yet they remain colorless and abstract. With adjectives and epithets we can paint the nouns and give them more depth and layers. For example:

Teacher of a thousand ways –Diligent Weaver of lives – Gentle Healer with the softest hands – Lady who has dominion over all that is wild and ferocious. Brave warrior, full of strength and compassion,

Nurturing Mother with Her arms open wide…..etc

When you start playing and shuffling like this with words, the possibilities are endless. And isn’t that what She is all about. So for the time being I will shift my attention to writing about Her instead of trying to make a collage or a painting.

To boost my “creative writing skills”, I thought it might be a good idea to draw a single card  (oracle or tarot) which will point me to an aspect of The goddess

Robin Wood Tarot and Goddess statue

For example this morning I’ve drawn the Page of Wands. In my tarot journal I have written this quote from Leila Vey: “I am the spirit of innovation and self-expression. I see the world in a new way, and can hardly contain my excitement with its possibilities. I live for the spark of inspiration which plunges me into the joy of creating something new. Even when others disapprove, I cannot help but express myself with truth. I celebrate my individuality, my originality in everything I do.”

So I could name The goddess:

The creative confident Lady of exiting new possibilities

The fierce Adventuress who dares to take a risk

The brave and frank Speaker of truth

(I have to admit this is easier in Dutch J). So, these are just a few of my thoughts and I welcome any ideas from you how to get to know Her a little bit better.

Four of cups: seize this moment

This morning I have drawn the Four of Cups from the Robin Wood Tarot. This is the first deck I’ve bought after The Rider Waite. I remember how uncertain I was, if I would be able to read with it. In those days I was all about learning the meanings by heart and sometimes I even forgot to look at the pictures myself. I totally relied on what the books told me. And how confused I was when some of the books contradicted each other. I am so happy to have learned to look at the depictions more closely now and trust my own intuition so I can combine book knowledge with my own feeling about the cards. 

When we look as this four of cups it is quite obvious this man is not happy. While the facial expression of the man in the Rider Waite is rather flat, in the Robin wood there is no doubt about his discontentment with his cups. He doesn’t want to look at them and while turning his eyes away from the cups in front of him, he doesn't notice the opportunity handed out to him by a magnificent radiant cup.

Sometimes this card can represent turning inward or meditation. I think this can help us to become aware of the shining cup in the air. When we let go of the notion of how we did feel, want to feel, should feel and so on only then we can try to discover how we are feeling right now. If we are fully present in this moment we have limitless opportunities how step into the next moment. Living our life like that is an ongoing adventure

Nine of Cups: what do you wish for?

Crystal Visions Tarot

The woman in this lovely Nine of Cups from the Crystal Visions Tarot is totally at ease. She is one with her surroundings and enjoys her solitude. This is exactly where she wants to be. A place where she can withdraw from the business of everyday life and where she can consider what she really wants from life or perhaps only for today or the coming weekend. The moon is full. While making her wish, she is blowing the seeds of a dandelion in the wind. Her wish is her secret.

I prefer this card above the RW version with the pompous man turning his back to his beautiful cups. This woman is enjoying in a very sensual way everything she has gathered around her.

So what do I wish for?

Some peace and quiet for the coming days. Reading in my book “Divergent” by Veronica Roth. Watching "Star Trek: Into Darkness" this weekend with M. (S is going to her boyfriend and I am a trekkie) And 

all kinds of other relaxing things I dare not tell because otherwise they won’t come true but I am sure there will be some chocolate involved.J

The Empress and her Triskele

For today I have pulled The Empress from the Crystal Visions Tarot.

A seemingly young Empress this is and she is obviously pregnant. She is full of promises and creative impulses. She has all the elements at her disposal: the air – butterflies, water – lotus, earth- grain and apples, fire – scepter. She is the personification of abundant creation; an ever flowing energy, which we can tap into at any given time. We are all invited by her to jump in and play along. Don’t be afraid to fail. Just enjoy the process.

Look how relaxed she is standing there, enjoying just the way she is, being entirely comfortable with herself and her creation. She knows how to balance giving and receiving love; caring of others and caring for herself. This is something I have to work on day in and day out

The empress is often seen as the card of the Goddess. In this particularly depiction this idea is symbolized by the triskele on her staff. The triskele is the symbol Wicca associates with the concept of the triple Goddess. The symbol itself is much older. It has been found in many cultures and is about 5.000 years old. It was o.a.  the (pre)Celtic symbol for the trinity of human nature . And I think any trinity can be symbolized by a triskele. 

Seeing this card I remembered I have such pendant to represent the Goddess too. I haven’t worn it in months. Mine has more spirals then the one in the card. To me it is also a representation of my daughters and myself; three women always connected in one circle. It can also be Father-mother-child. The spirals are giving  this symbol its feminine feel. Anyway, all this because of a tiny adornment on the Empress her staff. And now I am going to look for my pendant J

PS The Empress today was also embodied by M her dentist. What a gentle caring woman this is. Everything went so well to both our relieve

Two of Rods: not choosing is also a choice

What a card to start the day with. The first thing I notice is the man is holding his cheek and I think: “That's the wrong side!” :D. I am happy to say I feel a lot better already. So now on to this card from the Anna K Tarot, which by the way I am so enthusiastic about. My pictures don’t do the cards any justice. The colors are so vibrant and alive and the  pictures are very self-explanatory. Look at how depressed he is because he doesn't know what to do or where to go. Who doesn't feel for him. Weren't we all at the crossroads at least once; at its worst daily?

Being there, feeling that way can be exhausting. Sometimes if you don’t know what to choose you just have to pick the best option and live with the consequences. At least you are on your way again. And if things don’t work out you can always find your way back and choose a different route or notice the crossroads (your options) have changed all together by your previous choice

It is not always that simple, but I know it to be true. And if you decide to stay there for  a while longer, know that is already a choice in itself

Anna K : “The Two of Rods means a situation in which we feel damned to inaction because we have to make a choice between several paths and can't decide. The readiness is missing to engage in anything; we feel lethargic, numbed and at the same time under great pressure. But we just don't have the energy and determination needed to depart on one of our possible paths.”

This morning, while reading a few blogs I found a very applicable  spread from The Emerald Toad  to help you choose.

Queen of cups: a pity party and caring for myself at the same time

Not feeling that well altogether. I first thought let’s skip a day from my daily draws. But then I thought, perhaps I could ask a question about  how to go about my day feeling like this. I’ve chosen the Anna K Tarot to answer my question and I've got the Queen of cups. And what a perfect mirror for me this is. She is sitting there on the rocks feeling sorry for herself and trying to ease her pain by pulling her feet and fingertips softly through the water.  I wonder what is in that cup. I hope it is a good glass of red wine.  The moon is waning  the stars are shining but she doesn’t notice it: To absorbed with her own pity party. Luckily she has also the capacity to stand up and take care of herself. Be kind and loving and understanding. Perhaps she’ll put the kettle on for a nice pot of chamomile tea. Because that is what you need when you had an appointment with the dentist this morning just for a checkup and instead also had a molar extracted L

Starting my journey with The High Priestess and the Ace of Cups

Yesterday I've become aware of my need to do some exploring on my relationship with the Divine. What do I believe? How do I relate to God(dess)  and what do I expect from such a relationship? What is my part in it? How free do I feel in developing my own practice? So many questions arise when you start contemplating your beliefs. Yesterday I said I didn't want to hit the books and the internet right away. Instead I wanted to go within and delve first in my inner wisdom and own convictions before I start reading.

To trigger my intuition I've picked up my very first deck: The Rider Waite Tarot (Pocket) It felt so familiar to shuffle the small cards. I asked what advise the cards had for me on how to approach this spiritual quest. And I've got The High Priestess. That was a little  personal miracle for me. I haven’t pulled this card in months. It shows me exactly what I intended to do: go within, use my intuition to unravel my insecurity about believing in and connecting with God(dess). So my next question was how should I unlock my inner wisdom? The priestess is sitting quietly; almost like waiting for something. The veil is hiding the waters of her unconscious. So what do I have to do? Open the book, take down the veil??? 

And I pulled the Ace of cups. If She is out there She is surely communicating loud and clear. Just open your self up to Love and be ready to receive. 

It is so easy and we make it so complicated. We don’t need books and cards and statues and amulets. All  that matters is: sitting quietly, doing nothing and drink from that wonderful cup once in a while.

Every sip could be an insight in Her essence and we can show our understanding by giving this part of Her a name.* For instance If you feel her waiting patiently for you, you can name Her: Lady of unlimited patience. Be mindful how that name feels to you. In that way you can come up with so many names. One by one you‘ll paint a picture in your mind of how she shows Herself to you. In the same way you can do this with collage. Gather all kinds of pictures and words which remind you of an aspect of Her and put it all together on one piece of paper. I hope that this will help me to discover who God(dess) is to me

*( Inspired by the video from Pagypstian:  "Forming your own Image of Deity")

Blackbird is calling me

This week I've bought for myself the Druid Animal Oracle (Deck only). First because it includes each of my favorite animals (owl, hare, wolf and bear) and second because the cards are painted by the great illustrator Bill Worthington. I am already head over heels in love with the Druidcraft Tarot and the Wildwood Tarot so this animal oracle was a match made in heaven.

For today I've drawn the Blackbird( Druid Dhubh) (keywords: Enchantment, Inner Call and Gateway) In the background we see the entrance to a dark cave. When we enter this cave we can travel between the physical and the spiritual world.

It is dark, the sun is setting, the stars are appearing in the sky. That is the time the blackbird sings and calls us. He points us to follow our spiritual path to discover our the secret caverns of our souls and he urges us to become fully aware of what we are capable of and what we really want.

Yesterday, while reading a post of Neopagan priestess I came to realize I've been disconnected from the Great Mother for quite some time now. After clearing my altar in the end November nothing much has been going on which has to do with my relationship with the Divine. And suddenly I realize I am missing something. 

My first reaction is to do quite some research and set up a solid practice involving the Goddess again. But I know this is not the right way for me now. My monthly theme is letting go, so I want to let go of the need to read and study to find the perfect blend of goddesses which fit nicely together qua pantheons and age but rather let my intuition guide me to the aspects of the Goddess I really want to explore and identify with. There will be plenty of time left to study afterwards. I know I need Her as a mother to guide me and protect me. The rest will follow when I enter this cave, meditate and let go and let Goddess.

Two of Pentacles: a constant balancing act

Druidcraft Tarot

The Two of Pentacles from the Druidcraft Tarot is one of my favorite cards from this deck. I love the elegance and gracefulness of the woman while she’s trying to keep her pentacles in the air. In the background a storm is raging and ships are in trouble. The woman seems unaffected by this storm. Perhaps it is because she standing behind the rock or she is safe from this storm as long as she is holding her pentacles in the air; almost like an enchantment.

Perhaps balancing out our priorities, dividing our attention between loved ones and managing our finances and material needs, like food and clothing and decks, does seem like magic. Aren't we all the enchantresses (or  wizards ) of our own households? I am proud to say I manage mine rather well. Not perfect of course, but well enough. And it feels very satisfying we can make ends meet each month and still have room for some shopping together: Yesterday I went to town with M and today with S (dividing attention J). Al together, it is a positive card for me and it encourages me to be extra alert on my “pentacles” I even started with an online cashbook. We'll see if it's useful or not.

Drawing for the Full Moon in January

Yesterday I’ve celebrated the first full moon of this year. I’ve called it The Gray Moon. We have strange weather here: It isn’t as cold as usual . It doesn’t snow or freeze at all. But outside it is gray. The clouds are gray and it is just chilly, drizzling and dreary. This moon it is for me all about cleansing: inward and outward. After the excesses of the holidays, I feel like I have to prioritize what is really important for me and what I can live without easily. One of my goals for this year is to live a simple life and to be grateful with what I have rather than to long for what I don’t have. I believe in the principle of gratitude which teaches us we already have everything we need right now. This principle will color and warm this gray period of January as well as my own heart

After a short meditation I’ve drawn three cards from The Osho Zen Tarot for this Full Moon. (Keeping in mind my theme for this moon is Letting go.) I've found this spread on “Songs from the Wishing Tree” 

Osho Zen Tarot

1 What are my achievements for this moon period so far? Morality. The queen of Clouds. She is the most stiff and severe queen (of swords) I've ever encountered. I read in this card, my sense of morality is no longer a hollow shell of rules and regulations but more a result of awareness in what is going on. I’m trying to let go of the presumptuous notions of what is right and wrong and how one should act. Rather I try to assess the situation at hand and react according to what I believe is the right thing to do or say in that particular circumstance.

2 What are the highlights of this moon? Silence.

My first impression is I am happy I have picked up my meditation practice and I try not to skip it too often. I enjoy the inner silence, the peace and quiet that stems from meditating
“The face in the sky is deep in meditation, a goddess of the night who brings depth, peace and understanding. Now is a very precious time. It will be easy for you to rest inside, to plumb the depths of your own inner silence to the point where it meets the silence of the universe.”

3 What is the next step to take? Maturity. This card tells me to carry the inner balance, the peaceful tranquility I receive from my meditations  into my daily live. And to know this inner light can’t be dimmed by external circumstances. Practical this means not to let my girls,(and the rest of the family) push my buttons. I like to be able to maintain my inner calm and communicate with, instead of snap and yell at them. This  means letting go of control; of wanting everything to go my way and to realize we are three grown up women with our own responsibilities .

Pfff that will be hard J

A three card spread for my daily draw

Today I am going to follow my own advice: to make a minor change in a daily routine, just for the fun of it. So instead of drawing one card today I've done a three card daily spread, using my Druidcraft Tarot:

Druidcraft Tarot

1 The main energy of the day - The Nine of Pentacles: I couldn't be more happy with that card. I often use it as my significator. This woman is so at ease in her fenced garden. I know the world is bigger but for now I am happy with myself and enjoy the abundance within my safe boundaries.

2 The challenge of the day - Princess of Cups: Don’t get to carried away by the worldly and material well being. Keep dreaming and fantasizing to expand your experiences and your creativity. Stay open for your sense of wonder and  for your intuitive feelings

3 The gift of today - the World. I seem to be getting this card  a lot and that pleases me. As a gift I would read this as a feeling of accomplishment and feeling whole again ( after a very long time). I feel like I am getting to know my authentic self a lot better lately. And blogging has a lot to do with it. This daily writing about tarot (and oracles)  is focusing my thoughts on unexpected topics and often I am surprised at what I think and write and in so I get to know myself a little bit better each day. 

Six of Arrows – Transition

Wildwood Tarot

For today I've chosen the Wildwood Tarot to give me some insight into where I am now, and where I am heading.  And I've got the Six of Arrows (Swords) – Transition.
It is obvious this card is about movement towards new lands and knowing the tarot a bit, the chance it great it is an unknown territory where this cloaked man it setting sail to. It is not so much a physical journey but more a change of thinking and perception. There is a longing for new ways of thinking and leaving old stale idea’s behind. (my theme for this month is still "Letting Go"). 

Sailing requires good winds; new idea’s and insights are picked up and used for motivation to continue the journey. I love the fact in this card the man himself is standing at the helm instead of  the R.W. version where a hunched woman is being transported by some unknown sailor. I always seem to identify with her instead of with the sailor? In this card the guy is brave enough to think independently; to set out his own course and go where he think he has to be. The moon is full which energizes the vibe of this card. The sun is setting: He sails into the night, the unknown, only guided by the light of his intuition.

This card is giving me a sense of freedom, free to gather new information, to change thinking processes,to alter idea’s, to adjust opinions. It is like going on a mental, spiritual adventure. How exciting! And I don't even have to pack

Seven of cups: dream, dream, dream!

Robin Wood Tarot

The subject of yesterday is keeping my mind occupied. Especially since women raised in the 50^th, 60^th and 70^th were not encouraged to dream and worse, sometimes even discouraged to dream. We were told to behave and smile, play with our dolls and color between the lines. It was not appropriate to be loud  en adventurous and get dirty like the boys of our age. But perhaps it is never too late to change. Why not dream now. Make up our own adventures, send our most exuberant wishes into the universe and trust they will come true. To believe in the magic of our imagination.

This card did not come up randomly. I picked it myself! Often this card is associated with someone with a lethargic attitude or an airy fairy type of person who has to stop dreaming, choose what she wants and get on with it. Someone who has got her head in the clouds (Literally; the clouds are made of her hair)

But today I say let her dream. And let us dream spectacular dreams, naughty dreams and impossible dreams. Take your old and dusted dreams from the shelf. Just dream and be happy with it. Don’t think any of these dreams can’t come true. Neither would you have done this when you were little. Everything is possible; the sky is the limit. 

Play with your thoughts, write them down, eat some chocolate or ice cream , smile and be happy about them and perhaps even share a tiny one in a comment???

I will be first:

It is/was my dream to live in a small cottage on the heath and lead a self-sufficient life there with some animals and a patch of land to grow some veggies. I would fill my house with stacks of books and read for hours and  afterwards listen to the silence of my surroundings. I would spin the wool from my own sheep eat the eggs of my chickens. I would life a simple but a fulfilling life. This dream came up for the first time when I was around 14 years old. When I remember this and visualize me living there on the heath, I feel so good. 

We can have it all, if we dare to dream

Yesterday, after an exchange of thoughts with Sycamore about her last post: “Where the Heart is” , I started thinking about how hard it is for many of us to discover what we really want deep down inside. My wishes are most of the time the “good girl” wishes  and I wonder if that is all there is. Could it be I am afraid of my own buried desires? Or perhaps  of my undiscovered “greatness” J. Sometimes we put our light under the basket instead of on a stand mostly out of a false sense of modesty. That’s how a lot of us were brought up.

And what have the cards to say about this? Well they couldn't be more clear today. I drew these three cards without set positions just to read them as a story-line:

Legacy of the Divine Tarot

The Four of Cups tells us how hard it is to find that one cup that gives us the most pleasure; our true passion. Some cups are just fine but mostly they contain convenient and dull wishes, which keep us satisfied in our day to day lives

The Knight of Cups challenges us to follow our intuition and to pick up that one cup that truly belongs to us, to channel all our creativity and passion into it and go for..

The World. This is how we all can feel if we treasure our dreams and follow through on them.

Gilded Reverie Lenormand

How we bring this wonderful idea into practice? That is when the Lenormand comes in play

Scythe+ mountain+ Child

For me it is becoming very obvious: We have to cut away inner blockages and let our inner child play. I am certain that trough playing and experimenting we are all able to find what really makes our soul truly sing. 

Encouragement: Sometimes a little nudge will do the work

The Enchanted Map Oracle Cards

Today will hopefully be a quiet day, so everybody can find their balance again. It has been a tough week especially for M, my youngest. But I am confident, the worst is over for the time being.

For today I’ve pulled Encouragement from the Enchanted Map Oracle. The caption says: You are receiving a nudge in the right direction.” But it’s no wonder the first thought that came to mind was me encouraging M. Sometimes that is all you can do for grown up children, even though they seem so small and dependent in times of need.

The guidebook says: “You are gently being encouraged to step into your power. Into the dream of your life. New things are out there to be explored, and the nurturing power of the universe is giving you the nudge in the right direction. You will get the help you need and won’t be alone in your quest Every step you take right now is supported by the wisdom of the universe. You are on the right path…. Keep going.”

When I read this, my focus shifts from M to myself. Sometimes I feel insecure if I am still on track, doing the right thing, saying the right words, and thinking the right thoughts. But this card is talking about being held and loved and cared for. About being supported to go on with life as its unfolds; knowing nobody is ever alone and nobody is ever lost. The nudge of the universe is disguised in many things: a hug, a smile, a  quote, a mail from a far away friend, a blogpost, a book, a song, a tarot or oracle card and the list goes on and on. All we have to do is open ourselves up to receive those precious gifts

Know where you’re heading and adapt along the way

Wildwood Tarot

The overall energy of this day for me is all about the Knight of Vessels – Eel. I love how this creature slithers through the still water leaving only some small ripples behind him. It seems like he doing this effortless but this eel is swimming such a long distance, there must be a strong persistent drive to persevere this journey. He has a goal buried deep inside him. And after reaching the final destination he will return to where he was born to spawn and die. Seems pointless, if you don’t count the experience and maturation he’s had along the way. This Knight teaches me to go for what I believe in; to follow my drive and yet to understand it is not all about me. There is a greater good to be accountable for. My children,my husband, my community,the environment. Not every quest has to be ego based.

Faeries' Oracle

The Bright Mother of the Faeries’ Oracle has clarified this for me. This faerie is the equivalent of the Empress and the Goddess. The nurturing creative aspect of ourselves. Today it’s a time to put the needs of others first. And that’s okay because the Bright Mother speaks of sharing the abundance: there is enough love and patience for everybody. There're a lot creatures in this card. Do they all want something of her or are they also giving to her so she can be replenished from time to time?

She also teaches us to take stock of our lives and to evaluate and perhaps to change some things.

Consider what you have. Acknowledge the people and things in your life--good, bad, and indifferent. This consideration is not to judge, approve, or reject, but merely to recognize what is present in your life. These are your present fulfillments, what you have created for yourself, drawing upon the power of Unity and the Singers (or not, as the case may be). Once you have looked clearly at what is present in your life, you may want to ask yourself what you want to change.

So often we complain about our circumstances, but we are the co creators of our lives, so it also up to us to take a bend in the stream and move around the rocks if necessary. 

Ten of Earth: How to have a wonderful day

Angel Tarot

This morning I've asked myself/the tarot, how to turn this day into a wonderful day after a tiresome start of the week. I pulled the Ten of  Earth (Pentacles) from the Angel Tarot by Doreen virtue. This card is all about happy family life and finding magic in the little things in life. The card shows an angelic family in a magical place (looks like heaven to me). What stands out to me is there’re no houses or properties in the picture like in so many other ten of pentacles'. So it is all about family and togetherness and less about finances for me at this moment. Family: not only your “real” family but also the love and support shared among friends is very important for my well being. This card advises to notice the magic in the little things throughout the day and I suppose you could respond to those discoveries with gratitude. The awareness of those magical sparks pulls you in the here and now which adds also to your happiness and relaxation.

These angels do not worry, fear, regret or feel guilty they just are. So I will try to follow my own advice and stop the excessive negative thinking and just enjoy my day as it unfolds.

The star; never lose hope

Druidcraft Tarot

A new day, a new start, new possibilities. For this day I’ve drawn a very appropriate and welcome card: The Star from the Druidcraft Tarot. What a feast for the eyes. Such a tranquility is emanating from this card. Just what I needed for today. It is no coincidence, The Tower is followed by this card. The depiction is more or less similar to the Rider Waite image of the Star: a naked woman pouring water from two jars on the rocks as well as in the water. She is has one foot in the pool and one knee on the rocks. Only the scenery is somewhat different. In this card there’s a stone circle in the distance. Which gives this picture a druid-like appearance.

After two rather stressful days. I feel tired and vulnerable (psychologically naked J) but I haven’t lost hope. The pouring of the water is for me a symbol to let go, to release the guilt, the anger, the fear and all the ego based negative thoughts. This is a card of healing which teaches us to trust in ourselves and in the Divine. Like the lady in the card we are invited to gentle touch the surface of our intuition and trust the guidance we find there. And at the same time we have the chance to get grounded in the here and now again. After this time of recuperation we can follow our path, rejuvenated, rested and full of hope and trust. We just have to follow our star

Seven of wands: Why am I fighting so hard?

Crystal Visions Tarot

Yesterday was a bleh day and I am afraid today isn't going to be much better. (self fulfilling prophecy???) I am tired, stressed out and often very quickly irritated/angry. I snap to my daughters, and feel bad and guilty about it at the same time.

Where is that positive woman  who was so eager to start the new year? Who did the journaling and came up with all the goals, resolutions and promises to herself?

This is me too. Not the best of me but it’s still me. Look at this angry guy on his fiery dragon ready to strike. But who? What is making him so angry and anxious? In other decks you see the challengers, but here they are hidden. Perhaps he doesn't know them either. I am curious what would happen if he would stop fighting; would the others also quit? Would they conquer him or worse?  Perhaps they would simply vanish. Anger begets anger. fear begets fear and so on. So why not vice versa?

Even as simple as writing about this feeling is helping. (Do you notice the difference between the beginning and the end of this post? That's why I love journaling!  I don’t have to dig deep and try to discover the other six wands. I just have to let go and relax. Give up and breath. Wasn't that my theme for this moon?????

Give love and feel good

Angel Tarot

This morning when I woke up I felt rather down. The excitement of the new year has decreased a bit and I feel tired. Outside the weather is grey and gloomy. I picked up my new Angel Tarot, which I’m growing quite fond of and  I drew the Queen of Water (Cups). What a beautiful card.  When I see a card from this deck, immediately my eyes are drawn to the words and only after reading the words and phrases, I look at the picture. But don’t let the simplicity of the words fool you. In this picture there is a lot going on. This queen is an angel as well as a mermaid. She is connected to the heavens as well as to the deep vast ocean. The stars from heaven guide her and light her way. The air and clouds are circling around her  while she is treading the waves accompanied by the large sea mammals. 

Shadowscapes Tarot

She is the embodiment of tenderness, love and empathy. She is connected to her higher self and at the same time she completely aware of her unconscious and therefore she is has total access to her intuition to do the right thing an speak the right words.

This Queen reminds me of the queen of cups in the Shadowscapes tarot who is also showing us she is able to dance in both worlds at the same time.

First I thought this card was a message to be kind and gentle with myself today. But now I know it was also a loving suggestion to be all that for my youngest who had a lot of anxiety about her teeth (orthodontic troubles) We talked a lot and did find an appeasing solution. It is funny, but I feel a lot better myself. Instead of reveling in my own problems,  I was more focused on helping and loving her. And in turn, she is feeling a lot better too. So this was a win, win situation

My Drawing of a Moon Hare

It has been a month since I've posted a drawing here. But today it felt like a perfect day to try to draw  a moon hare (I had found a picture to draw from). After this morning I had to take care of myself a little bit extra. First I went out for some cycling; the weather is beautiful here. It smells like spring. Then I took my sketchbook and drew this moon hare. I am feeling a lot better now. J

The Archer as our January inspiration

Today’s card is The Archer from The Wildwood Tarot. At first glance a very January like card. Yesterday I’ve learned it is wise to choose one wand (from the Eight of Wands) Today The archer is here to teach us how to proceed. She looks like a courageous, independent, self-reliant woman to me. Her two dogs are there to help her with the hunt and to watch over her and protect her in times of danger (Thank God(dess) for the dogs when you are alone in the woods) But remember the dogs are the outer representations of your own inner strength.

Meaning from the book: “The dawn of a new adventure, folded in the web of universal potential, waits for you to string the bow of your imagination and loose the arrows of creativity. This is a time to be bold and commit to the hunting of new life and a better relationship with the world, as well as the fulfillment of wholesome ambition. Take a moment to gather your tools and steady your state of mind. Take careful stock of what you want to achieve, why and how you will go about it. Then harness your potential by filling your quiver with all the talents, knowledge and cunning you possess and string the ‘bow of burning gold’ with the ‘arrows of desire’. Take a deep breath and be calm. It is time to let your soul take flight.”

The whole process of shooting the arrow is metaphorical for how we pursue our new ideas, goals, projects and resolutions for the  new year:

“Stringing the bow, gives the wood potential for the release of energy, drawing the bow controls and harnesses that energy, and releasing the arrow with intent finally sends the archer’s will through the air to it target”

We have to be confident and focused. But at the same time patient  and relaxed. Feeling the need and feeding our intent with energy and releasing it with a steady mind into the universe. To trust in ourselves and our capacity but perhaps even more to trust in the Universe to be on our side.

For me this is a wonderful card. Not only for today but also as an accompanying energy throughout the year

Listen as the Hare does

Just a few a hours after my previous post,  I've found this picture made by 

Sue Wookey

The Listening Hare

"Love silence and listen, as the hare does, to the quiet reaching upwards of the grass and the drum of the full moon rolling over the round hill"

My Word for this Year: Listen

Inspired by The Neopagan priestess I've decided to share my word for 2014. Perhaps when I write about it, this word will become even more real to me. Kerry has even made a beautiful picture of her word. The word that came up for me the lasts weeks of December was: Listen. I've made a mind map with it and these are some of the associations I've’ve come up with:

Angel Tarot

Listen to myself as well as to others.
Listen to the silence; listen to nature, listen to the whispers between the words I hear.
Listen to my body; what do I feel ,what do I need, what is good and healthy  for me.
Listen to my boundaries, which are there for my own protection and wellbeing

Perhaps I will make some kind of talisman to remember my word by. My animal for now is the hare. I suspect it can teach me a lot about listening. J

For today I've drawn The Eight of Fire from the Angel Tarot. A gorgeous card with crystal wands carried by sparkling dragons. The annotation tells us: Events moving at a fast pace. Delays are over. Many Things are happening at once. I am still feeling like I am in a hurry. I want too many things at once. I feel excited about all the projects I am planning  and  my goals and resolutions ……and so on. This card combined with my word is telling me to choose a wand and work with it and to calm down. Listen to myself and determine what is good for me now. I have to be the mature about it. Only then I will be able to enjoy all my wands even more.

Don’t set the bar too high

Today I will be using the Tao Oracle by Ma Deva Padma. Before I pull my card I want to share my mega find on our Dutch online thrift store. Just before the new year, I had bought five beautiful, as good as new, tarot and oracle decks. The previous owner had only bought them to be a part of her collection and had never used them.  Even the boxes were undamaged. So now I am a very happy woman because right beside me on our dining table I have: The Tao Oracle by Ma Deva Padma, Angeldreams and the Angel Tarot by D. Virtue, Mystical Lenormand by R.E. Fiechter and Ask your Guidies by S. Choquette. And everything far below 50% of the retail price. I feel like I've won the New year’s lottery!!

Tao Oracle

For the second day of this year I've pulled: Duration. In my opinion an excellent card for everybody who is  totally excited to sprint into this year, heavily packed with goals and resolutions. (Myself included J) This card shows us a mountain in four different circumstances. And it’s no surprise to any of us, in each picture the mountain remains the same. This mountain is the perfect symbol for the keywords of this card: constancy, continuity, endurance, perseverance, maturity, strengthening, stability, a deep commitment. And in the end that´s what it´s all about. Not how we start out, which is of course important but also if you can really commit to your goals or whatever it is you want to manifest this new year. Do you have the strength to go on when it gets hard? According to the book it is so important to be aware of your inner core. (inner mountain) That unchangeable everlasting part of you. When you connect to this part, you can endure everything: “The essence of a mountain is stability, a deep and abiding quality that withstands the tests of time.  It is the solidity of rock and the stabilizing function of earth, and it is unequivocally itself.”. Perhaps it is a good idea to search for a symbol of your “inner mountain” to carry with you in your daily life as a talisman. It can be as simple as a pebble as long as it has meaning for you.

Mystical Lenormand

So this is definitely a card for the long run but what does that mean for me today? To answer that question, I drew three lennies from the Mystical Lenormand: house + bear + stars: 

• My home is my base to grow spiritually.
• My house is my safe haven where I can explore     new ideas and goals.
• The love and support of my daughters is a strong   foundation to have hope for the future.

I think I'll pick the second option. Perhaps it is a sound idea to review my goals in order to find out if I haven’t set the bar too high for myself. Sometimes it seems like I do this deliberately so I will fail again and I can beat myself up about it (again). But I can assure you it isn't. It is a common problem for people who are perfectionists. That's why I think it wise to give my lists a closer look to see if I have to adjust my goals in order to be able to stick them when circumstances change.

New moon in January: clearing space for the coming year

As so many of you already know this first day of the new year is also the first new moon of this year. This is truly a great day to start anew. It has been a long time ago since I was so excited to start the new year. I’m overjoyed the Holidays are over and I couldn’t be more thrilled to start this year. For the first time, I have done some "preparatory" journaling about last year’s experiences and achievements and new year’s goals and promises. So I feel really energized and eager to start his year! The reading for this new moon gave me very sound advice for  the month of January. As usual I've chosen the Osho Zen Tarot, which has become my “new moon” deck. 

Osho Zen Tarot

Release: The Burden (Six of Clouds)

 “If life these days feels like just a struggle from the cradle to the grave, it could be time to shrug your shoulders and see what it feels like to walk without these characters on your back. You have your own mountains to conquer, your own dreams to fulfill, but you will never have the energy to pursue them until you release yourself from all the expectations you've gathered from others but now think are your own. Chances are they exist only in your own mind, but that doesn't mean they can't weigh you down. It's time to lighten up, and send them on their way.” 

I've just realized this morning, I've only journaled about my achievements and happy experiences off 2013 but I also wanted to write about the notions and expectations ( from others as well as from myself) I have to let go in order to be able to move forward more freely. Perhaps during all the business of the Holidays I “forgot” to do this. It is so easy to be dragged down by the voices in your head. By naming them and acknowledging them I hope to invalidate them 

Embrace: Letting go (Eight of Water)

“In surrendering to gravity and slipping off the leaf, the drop loses its previous identity and joins the vastness of the water below. We can imagine that it must have trembled before it fell, just on the edge between the known and the unknowable. To choose this card is a recognition that something is finished, something is completing. Whatever it is--a job, a relationship, a home you have loved, anything that might have helped you to define who you are--it is time to let go of it, allowing any sadness but not trying to hold on. Something greater is awaiting you, new dimensions are there to be discovered. You are past the point of no return now, and gravity is doing its work. Go with it: it represents liberation” 

How great is that. What a wonderful and fitting theme for this month. I will certainly review the last year in terms of letting go. I have celebrated my successes already now it is time to take the next step and  let things go and release them. I know I will tremble a bit but when I take it slow I can do this! For today I will clear my house of the leftovers from the Holidays: food, dust bunnies, decorations and make room for the fresh January energy