Queen of Clouds - Caged by Morality

Today’s card is the Queen of Clouds - Morality from the Osho Zen Tarot. Although the Queen of Swords is the queen I identify the most with, I sincerely hope this queen is nothing like me. Most likely she is a shadow aspect of me since I was raised, like many of my age, with lots of “do’s and don’t’s” and “should’s and shouldn’t’s”. I was supposed to know what was expected of me and if I failed to live up to these expectations, I knew I had disappointed my parents, which would hurt just as much as being sent to my room. Because of the fear of making a mistake, I build a protective cage of false security around myself and lived my life as obedient as I could. Within that cage, judgments about others grew rampantly and left me isolated within myself. Luckily cages can be broken or torn down, often by major life changing events and many years ago I experienced the freedom of The Knight of Water (jumper card). The world was so much bigger and more diverse than I ever could have imagined.

To mature from black and white morality to a multitude of colorful ideas and options about life demands a large recalibration of the mind and even sometimes a hard restart. Yes, it hurt but it was so worth the darkness, the pain and the tears. 

Spreading your wings for the first is scary but when the inner fluttering becomes too strong you finally understand your cage is not your home anymore.

Drawing for the Full Moon in January

Yesterday I’ve celebrated the first full moon of this year. I’ve called it The Gray Moon. We have strange weather here: It isn’t as cold as usual . It doesn’t snow or freeze at all. But outside it is gray. The clouds are gray and it is just chilly, drizzling and dreary. This moon it is for me all about cleansing: inward and outward. After the excesses of the holidays, I feel like I have to prioritize what is really important for me and what I can live without easily. One of my goals for this year is to live a simple life and to be grateful with what I have rather than to long for what I don’t have. I believe in the principle of gratitude which teaches us we already have everything we need right now. This principle will color and warm this gray period of January as well as my own heart

After a short meditation I’ve drawn three cards from The Osho Zen Tarot for this Full Moon. (Keeping in mind my theme for this moon is Letting go.) I've found this spread on “Songs from the Wishing Tree” 

Osho Zen Tarot

1 What are my achievements for this moon period so far? Morality. The queen of Clouds. She is the most stiff and severe queen (of swords) I've ever encountered. I read in this card, my sense of morality is no longer a hollow shell of rules and regulations but more a result of awareness in what is going on. I’m trying to let go of the presumptuous notions of what is right and wrong and how one should act. Rather I try to assess the situation at hand and react according to what I believe is the right thing to do or say in that particular circumstance.

2 What are the highlights of this moon? Silence.

My first impression is I am happy I have picked up my meditation practice and I try not to skip it too often. I enjoy the inner silence, the peace and quiet that stems from meditating
“The face in the sky is deep in meditation, a goddess of the night who brings depth, peace and understanding. Now is a very precious time. It will be easy for you to rest inside, to plumb the depths of your own inner silence to the point where it meets the silence of the universe.”

3 What is the next step to take? Maturity. This card tells me to carry the inner balance, the peaceful tranquility I receive from my meditations  into my daily live. And to know this inner light can’t be dimmed by external circumstances. Practical this means not to let my girls,(and the rest of the family) push my buttons. I like to be able to maintain my inner calm and communicate with, instead of snap and yell at them. This  means letting go of control; of wanting everything to go my way and to realize we are three grown up women with our own responsibilities .

Pfff that will be hard J