Queen of Clouds - Caged by Morality

Today’s card is the Queen of Clouds - Morality from the Osho Zen Tarot. Although the Queen of Swords is the queen I identify the most with, I sincerely hope this queen is nothing like me. Most likely she is a shadow aspect of me since I was raised, like many of my age, with lots of “do’s and don’t’s” and “should’s and shouldn’t’s”. I was supposed to know what was expected of me and if I failed to live up to these expectations, I knew I had disappointed my parents, which would hurt just as much as being sent to my room. Because of the fear of making a mistake, I build a protective cage of false security around myself and lived my life as obedient as I could. Within that cage, judgments about others grew rampantly and left me isolated within myself. Luckily cages can be broken or torn down, often by major life changing events and many years ago I experienced the freedom of The Knight of Water (jumper card). The world was so much bigger and more diverse than I ever could have imagined.

To mature from black and white morality to a multitude of colorful ideas and options about life demands a large recalibration of the mind and even sometimes a hard restart. Yes, it hurt but it was so worth the darkness, the pain and the tears. 

Spreading your wings for the first is scary but when the inner fluttering becomes too strong you finally understand your cage is not your home anymore.

Year Ahead Spread: February – Two of Swords and Laguz

My card for  February is the Two of Swords from the Wild Unknown Tarot and my rune for this month is Laguz.

The Two of Swords is all about postponing a decision or reaching a stalemate.  This can become quite a challenge for me, since I am usually  all about solving problems and making things right as quickly as possible, so I don’t have to feel uncomfortable any longer than necessary. But truth be told this behavior doesn’t always benefits me. It can cause stressful situations because I tend to act quickly and sometimes too ill considered. Resolving unpleasant feelings as soon as possible has really become a second nature of me. But then I started reading “living Beautifully” by Pema Chödrön again and this reminded me how staying with whatever you feel and experiencing life how it is right now can be an act of compassion toward ourselves and how this can bring about a sense of deep peace and calm.

I feel this card symbolizes my effort to stay with whatever occurs in my life and refrain myself from seeking  a quick habitual solution to make it all go away.

The rune Laguz emphasizes this  notion because Laguz is the rune of  water, of feeling and emotions and of our unconscious. This rune fit seamlessly with “II Inner Voice” of the OshoZen tarot (aka the High Priestess), my rune for this lunation. Both urge me to listen to my heart,  before I decide how to act in a situation. This requires slowing down, becoming more mindful of what is really going on and trying to maintain a regular mediation practice. I am happy to say so far the latter is going rather well this time around. 

New Moon of January

For today’s new moon I’ve decided to only draw one card as a focal point for this lunation. This because I also want to work with my monthly cards of my Year ahead spread and I don't want to make things too complicated. I’ve also noticed that I don’t pay that much attention to the release cards which I usually draw on the day of new moon. Perhaps it is better to draw such a release card on the full moon and to work it when the moon is starting to wane…

Anyway, for this lunation I’ve drawn: II inner Voice from the Osho Zen tarot. This is the equivalent of the High Priestess from  more traditional tarot decks. It is always a very welcome card to receive but also challenging one: Listening to our inner voice can be very tricky, especially when we have some many voices in our head chattering the entire day to us and even to each other. We all know they hardly ever shut up.

Maybe this knowledge is the pathway to listening to our Inner Voice because she doesn’t speak with words springing from our every busy mind but she speaks with the wordless language of the heart. 

She is both dark and light, crystal clear and veiled, playful and profound. She is Truth without having to explain herself. We only have to sit down and find her wordless whispers between the myriad of voices we hear all day long.

Ten of Rainbows - We are the World

Today’s card is the Ten of Rainbows – We are the world, from the Osho Zen Tarot. This card immediately reminded me of the Women’s March and  all the other occasions where we stood or will stand together for what is right and just. It is such an empowering card. No matter what color we are, we are all in this together ….

And that’s when it dawned on me. Even while looking at this beautiful circle of colorful rainbow people, I was excluding everyone who didn’t agree with my political or my spiritual convictions or with whatever I feel is important for my world, my country, my house and my body. Yes while watching this card, I was still thinking in terms of I, me, we, us, ours and they, them or theirs. 

These days, it is easy to feel connected to like minded people but what about the other part of humanity. Is our heart big enough to let them in too? We don’t have to agree with them to be able to acknowledge they are just as human as we are. What does it take to include every living soul in our heart?  What does it take to hold on to our viewpoints and opinions, without feeling superior over those who think differently?

As of yet I don’t have the answer but I am very grateful for the awareness of this issue caused by my card of the day.