New moon in October

This new moon before I drew my cards, I’ve read my journal pages of last month. This is for me a way to take stock of what has happened, what was important? What did I experience, accomplish and struggled with. This is a time for reflection; of releasing and holding on.

After I’d lit my candle and some incense, I sat down for a short meditation. Just to clear my mind and to calm down. I always use some kinds of prayer beads (a topic for another post) The fiddling with the beads makes it easier to find my center. After that I shuffled the cards of the Osho Zen Tarot:

Osho Zen Tarot

Let go: The Miser - Oops, that was a theme of last month. I want too many decks. Surfing over the internet is changing me in a potential hoarder L. There’re so many beautiful decks out there, but I can’t have them all. This miser isn't even looking at her stuff and enjoying it. She’s on the lookout for predators or perhaps glancing for more stuff. First I want to get to know the decks I've bought recently.

Embrace: Possibilities. Well that’s a card I welcome in my life with my arms wide open. After trying last month to release the eight of swords mentality and throwing my blindfold away, I’m now curious about what possibilities I can find when I’m watching my life and its options in a birds view. Keeping my distance can be very healthy for me; don’t jump in too soon. (don’t buy everything in a whim) After sound considerations I can make my decisions with a clear head (I still have that key J) I’m always happy to see this card in a reading. It is opening doors for me.

Between the moments

October 5: Sparrows and blue tits are finding insects to eat, especially  beetles and earwigs, between the seeds of a sunflower. In what unexpected places do I find nourishment?

Druidcraft Tarot

 All kind of places come to mind but then I draw the two of swords from the Druidcraft Tarot. Out of all cards, I get the one with a blindfolded woman. How do I look for those special places where I can find  nourishment, when I can’t see a thing?

The woman is sitting at the crossroads. She’s holding two swords crossed in front of her chest and she’s blindfolded. She has a choice to make. Which way is the right way? There is a time-out, indecision, a hush. Perhaps between the moments of hesitation and making that decision, there’s an unknown place to be found. Just on the threshold,  neither inside or outside, there is a thought…

And then I knew I wanted something more out of this reading and after few months of not looking at them, I've picked up my Lenormand cards again...

Lo Scarabeo Lenormand

And I drew: mice(23), key(33) and book(26). How surprised I was when I saw my nourishment in front me. This is how I read my cards: The key is the center card and tells me that in those meaningful moments of silence doors can be opened, new ways can be found and I can find this key inside me. Key stands for solutions, opening doors, new beginnings and insight. The Key is modified by the book: That is something familiar. I like to read about everything. So in these moments, written ideas can take root and blossom. And on the other side is the mice card. They can take my nourishment away. Those critters eat almost everything J. But I think they represent my nervousness or stress; the main blockage for inner wisdom.

So thanks to my Lennies, I have found my nourishment 

My Drawing of the Page of Swords

After a long time without drawing I took my sketchbook and started to draw the Page of Swords. Yes sometimes I like to draw from a Rider Waite tarot card. The pictures are rather simple and it pushes me to look at the details in the card. It took me longer than usual because I had to stop several times (neck L), but I am very pleased with it.J

Clear away the cobwebs

October 4:  Today is World Animal Day. St Francis talked to the birds and tamed a wolf. Wolfs can also exist within ourselves. Which wolf in me should I show compassion for?

Universal Waite Tarot

Isn't that a coincidence. Yesterday’s card had a wolf as guide in it; today the wolf is a part of me that can be a hindrance or a challenge. (Isn't that also some kind of guidance in disguise?)

This day’s card is the lovely enthusiastic Page of Swords from The Rider Waite tarot. I love the way his hair dances in the wind and how he swings his sword above his head. Clouds are passing by. He wants to catch them all. This youngster is my wolf of today. The part of me that wants to engage in every new idea or challenge. Among others I'm writing every day now with a Autumn prompt. This is a real challenge for me because everyday I have to write and think in English again. But some day’s I want to write about something entirely else: The flowers I've got from my daughters, the new moon that's due etc. I feel I’m stuck in the cobwebs of my mind.

So today I clear them away and set my mind free.

Little Red Riding Hood

October 3: The trees have to let go of their leaves in order to bud again in the spring .  What do I have to let go in order to receive something new?

Oracle of the Shapeshifters - L Cavendish

This day’s card is Little Red Riding Hood – I am not a victim, from the Oracle of the Shapeshifters.

Little Red Riding Hood is standing fierce in front to the wolf. Her hands in her pocket. Her look is determined. A lot has happened to her but in this card it’s clear that it has only made her stronger than she was before. Now she even has a wolf as her ally. It is very obvious that she is in control; the stronger one in this relationship. Could it be that the wolf, after being defeated by the hunter, was transformed from a demon into her daemon?

In the guidebook it says:  

“I am myself, and I am proud of who I am. No-one can harm me now I have this knowledge, and with my mystic familiar, my lone wolf by my side, I continue to walk my path. While I have lost some of my innocence, I have my life, my strength, my voice, my ability to stay myself no matter what others do or say.” 

Any way it’s crystal clear to me what I have to let go of: Me perceiving myself as a victim of my circumstances. Even though I've learned a lot, read numerous books, talked with friends and professionals, I still have that little nagging, whining voice in me that sometimes asks: “Why me?”

I am sure I’m not alone in this. It’s so easy to fall back into this way of thinking, especially when things go wrong or when you're very tired or there’s just too much on your plate. I see this card as a reminder to stay strong in my beliefs that I am a capable, responsible woman and that I can do anything if I set my mind to it. Perhaps I am going to wear something red today as a token for my inner strength.J Because that’s what I'll gain if I let go of this unhelpful notion.
Ps. After I had posted this I noticed that there weren't any leaves on the trees anymore in the picture J

You just have to be quiet

October 2: In the Catholic church it is the feast of the guardian angels. What does my guardian angel ( or spirit guide or patron….) want to tell me?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

The First question that I have to ask myself is: do I believe in guardian angels or something like that?

I don't believe in them as specific beings but I can work with them as energies or aspects of the divine. Perhaps they could be a manifestation of my higher self; that part of me that is connected with the divine (my sparkle J) Or it can be my intuition speaking. In any way I belief they can give me a message or some guidance if I am quiet enough to listen...

Can I see the card of today as such a message?  I’ve got The Lovers from the Hanson Roberts Tarot

Well that’s a surprise! There is an angel in the picture looking at the couple and trying to get their attention. But they are too wrapped up (literally) in each other that they are complete oblivious of that angel in the sky. Or perhaps the angel is silently waiting until the right moment comes along to intrude.

In either case I tend to see the lovers, since I am not in a romantically relationship, as a blending between some parts of me (ego subconscious and higher self) or a coming together of my male and female side. And of course there are meanings like: unconditional love, making a responsible choices, self love, longing for unity etc.

What stands out in this card in comparison with The Lovers from the Rider Waite tarot is that this couple is holding each other tight, whereas the R.W. couple is standing apart and they're looking at the angel. I prefer the couple from Hanson Roberts. It is obvious that they love and care for each other. The woman seems to be somewhat stronger than the man. I feel that she is taking responsibility for him. I don’t think this is a status quo, but more a sign that two opposites can take responsibility for each other back and forth.

For me today, with this card, an angel is trying to tell me not to be so predisposed with loving and caring, but also to make some free time to connect with the divine. Loving yourself and others is perfect, but there is more…

Take some time in these darker growing days to be quiet and just listen. You'll be surprised……

We have to decide!

October 1 : Squirrels are gathering nuts,  acorns etc. for the coming winter. What do I have to gather for this winter?

Druidcraft Tarot

The ace of swords from The Druidcraft tarot. A hand is lifting up a sword above the deep waters. The sun is rising in the east and birches are standing at the lakeside.

The guidebook speaks about clarity, new ideas and finding truth and the ability to cut through illusions. Also about cutting loose from old stagnant thoughts.

The first thing that comes to mind is the necessity to evaluate my beliefs, idea’s and convictions. Are they still up to date or have there been shifts and changes that I am not  aware of. What will I hold on to and what can I let go so there will room for new idea’s. What will I gather to take with me? I have to dive deep to know how I feel about my thoughts (lake)

While I am  writing this post my daughter is watching “Grey’s anatomy” and  I hear: You have to decide how you want to live. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to be? Are these the ones you want  to love? Is this the best you can be? Or can you be stronger, kinder, more compassionate?” This sums up what I want to put into words in this post. I want to gather; to take stock of all my thoughts that matter, rinse them in this lake of feelings and take them with me as cleansed brand new idea’s. Idea’s that I will communicate with inspired enthusiasm. And if I decide that they are of no use anymore for they are dusted and outdated, I will lay them to rest. I’ll hope this all makes sense

Lets gather our thoughts: What ways of thinking needs to be cleared away? How are my thoughts affecting my life? And which idea’s and opinions do I take with me into the winter season?