As usual I
wanted to draw one card and share my thoughts about it but when I drew the Seven of Air from the Dreams of Gaia
Tarot, I knew I had to add some more cards. This card represent so beautifully what
I have been struggling with these last few months. This card is all about belief
systems and the different teachings of wise and spiritual people.
Ever since I was a young girl I wanted to belong
to a group of people who shared the same beliefs as I did and I have never came
across such a group. I tried to fit in with some of them but it never lasted
long. Gradually I have accepted that what
I belief is personal and ever changing. But sometimes I feel the need for some conformation
that I am on the right track. Sometimes I
even envy the confidence of some religious groups who are “absolutely sure” of
their spiritual convictions. This feeling is strongly connected to my word of
the year: Trust. Do I trust myself enough to keep following my own path, even
though it is leading me along deep chasms filled with doubt and steep mountains covered with insecurity.
So after pulling
this initial card I wanted to know how to deal with these feelings and I pulled
Choice, the first card of the deck.
This card is asking us to move forward, to make a choice which is fulfilling
for both our heart and our mind. There is no way back. The past is gone forever and
there is only this little moment in time. If we don’t choose, we are stuck there
in a kind of limbo where we can mull over which door to choose so long that we
might not even remember why we are stuck there in the first place.
Then I wondered what would happen
if I would trust myself enough to follow my intuition, to chose a door, any door and continue to walk
my path? The answer to this question is the Ace of Air, the gift of insight and
clarity. Some keywords are, belief it or not: unlearn and let go, a new personal
ideology, personal truth, new ideas. So
now I realize it doesn’t really matter which door I choose; the gift of The Ace of Air
is always within me and I will take it with me wherever I my path will lead me.
I too have struggled with what I believe and the longing for security and a sense of belonging. But firm security doesn't exist in a changing world, so I need a faith that is flexible and can grow and change too (not a lucky rabbit's foot). It is a difficult road, but one that is filled with rewards and insights too!
ReplyDeleteI agree, faith is flexible while belief system are often rigid.
DeleteI just meditated for the first time since weeks. Stripped my altar to the bare necessitates (candle and some crystals) and it felt good and connected
Ps I love tarot!!
That longing to belong is a basic of humanhood.
ReplyDeleteSafety comes in numbers I guess
DeleteNone of us belong in a box. Break out and do what brings you joy.
ReplyDeleteI just did! meditated and altered my altar. That always seems chase the dust bunnies out of my mind
DeleteThis is great. I find we often overthink our own path. It's hard to let go and trust (as you say) that whatever we do, we will be precisely where we are meant to be, learning what we are meant to learn. I had a strange experience with this when I thought about the duality of SanterÃa with Heathenry. I think there is no wrong path forward.
ReplyDeleteI agree, as long as we are moving forward, we are on the right track. As long as there is opportunity for growth and self development we can't go wrong
DeleteMy unpopular opinion is that belief is irrelevant in the face of the inexorable. The Beloved will continue to go on being with or without my consent. I think your longing for community, your dissatisfaction with what you find, your wish for more trust are the ways in which you're slowly giving God a body. That body is beautiful and genuine because it arises from your own authenticity. Love and blessings on the journey, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your wise words my dear Rose. You have made is so clear that my main problem is trusting and relying on my own authenticity. Luckily God is patient
DeleteThis is such a beautiful way of seeing it! I was lucky to have a large group of likeminded people in my late teens and early 20s. I grew up in a city, went to a music school and it might have contributed. It was painful for me to move to another country and since then, most of my friends got scattered through the different countries and cities. Some of us keep in touch. I actually dreamt of them last night! Now I am blessed with finding another group, mostly women, who have very much same views and beliefs and I don't know how I ever lived without them. I guess the key is to stay open and explore things, go to events, and it might be easier to do in a city. Also, these days people find each other over the internet and some bonds with people we never hugged are still strong! As I see it, you belong to s large group of likeminded people who enjoy tarot, picture making, thoughts sharing and they appreciate your input just like you appreciate theirs. Sending love and hugs, you are not alone Ellen <3
ReplyDeleteI am so happy you have found a new group of likeminded people in you new country.
DeleteThank you for reminding me of the significance of our online community. I have found so much love and encouragement with the most beautiful people all over the world.
Hugs
Ah, that desire to belong is tough. I know for myself, I don't do "absolute certainty" in hardly anything. I appreciate having a group of fellow seekers, who may not be going exactly the same place, but are on a neighbouring path...
ReplyDeleteI love the extra cards you drew. In the choice card, I see the Goddess, and the idea that all paths lead to her, perhaps at different ages and in different guises. Which feeds into what you say, that it doesn't matter which door you choose. And finding insight whichever way you go - just lovely!
Thanks Chloe. It is a difficult path we're walking but luckily we're not entirely alone because, as you say, other seekers are walking their path close by. I wouldn't want it any other way but that doesn't mean I like it right now. :)
ReplyDeleteBut then again in this card Her face is both light and dark too