As usual I wanted to draw one card and share my thoughts about it but when I drew the Seven of Air from the Dreams of Gaia Tarot, I knew I had to add some more cards. This card represent so beautifully what I have been struggling with these last few months. This card is all about belief systems and the different teachings of wise and spiritual people.
Ever since I was a young girl I wanted to belong to a group of people who shared the same beliefs as I did and I have never came across such a group. I tried to fit in with some of them but it never lasted long. Gradually I have accepted that what I belief is personal and ever changing. But sometimes I feel the need for some conformation that I am on the right track. Sometimes I even envy the confidence of some religious groups who are “absolutely sure” of their spiritual convictions. This feeling is strongly connected to my word of the year: Trust. Do I trust myself enough to keep following my own path, even though it is leading me along deep chasms filled with doubt and steep mountains covered with insecurity.
So after pulling this initial card I wanted to know how to deal with these feelings and I pulled Choice, the first card of the deck. This card is asking us to move forward, to make a choice which is fulfilling for both our heart and our mind. There is no way back. The past is gone forever and there is only this little moment in time. If we don’t choose, we are stuck there in a kind of limbo where we can mull over which door to choose so long that we might not even remember why we are stuck there in the first place.
Then I wondered what would happen if I would trust myself enough to follow my intuition, to chose a door, any door and continue to walk my path? The answer to this question is the Ace of Air, the gift of insight and clarity. Some keywords are, belief it or not: unlearn and let go, a new personal ideology, personal truth, new ideas. So now I realize it doesn’t really matter which door I choose; the gift of The Ace of Air is always within me and I will take it with me wherever I my path will lead me.