Today’s;
card is the Queen of Cups from the Shadowscapes Tarot. I’ve drawn this with the
following question in mind: “What old
beliefs are no longer true about myself?” This question is part of the IG
Challenge about Self love.
I felt a bit disappointed when I got the Queen of
Cups. I do like her a lot and I don’t pull her often, so when she was to
represent an outdated belief about myself, I was rather flabbergasted. But then
it dawned on me. This message was about my belief that I always have to be
caring and loving, creative and intuitive, emphatic and spiritual connected to be worthy of love.
Because all those things are the result of self improvement, of listening to
God(des) of being the best version me, I could be. But truthfully I am not. I am not
that kind and caring and all those other things. Sometimes I am selfish and moody. I can
be so angry and even cruel. Does this mean I don’t listen to my inner voice or
God(dess); that I am not improving myself. No it means I am only human, worthy of a
never ceasing Self Love. Because on the cold and clouded rainy days I deserve
to be loved and cared for even more by myself that on the sunny days.
being kind etcetera in no way means you need to be anyone's doormat.
ReplyDeleteYou're right Sharyn Sometimes I do let people walk all over me in order to keep the peace
DeleteThe turtles in this card remind me that sometimes we need to come out of the water to get things done (just as they do when they lay their eggs). It doesn't mean we don't care, but that detachment from emotional entanglement is often necessary.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't expecting the emotional tidal wave of missing S this afternoon but keeping my hands busy was the best choice indeed
DeleteI'm glad you shared this Ellen, and I love the honesty in it. You're so right, you don't have to be always giving in order to be worthy of love, you simply *are* worthy. All the more so as a flawed (even moody, selfish, or angry!!) human.
ReplyDeleteThe Queen of Cups is an interesting card. Sometimes she reminds me of a friend, who I always felt 'needed to be needed'. It was as though she didn't know who she was if everybody wasn't always depending on her - to the level that she was frequently burned out. But she is an amazing person who is worthy of love no matter what :)
Hi Beth! your friend reminds me of myself. Being a mother and a wife does that to person sometimes. (well I let it happen of course) But now the habit is hard to break. Interpreting this Queen today and your comment has helped me to make some progress in the right direction :D
DeleteToo many of are too good for our own good. It's after many years of conditioning. Then we end up spent and resent that no one appreciates us because we've done things for others that perhaps they should be doing for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI was once told to write on a sign in big black letters NO, and then get myself in front of a mirror and practice saying it. I got the message.
We don't have to earn our worthiness as women. We are worthy just as we are.
NO: Such a small word and yet so immensely difficult to say :)
Delete"We are worthy just as we are." I will remember that!
Like so many of us in Recovery say, "God doesn't make junk."
DeleteA very big hug to you Ellen <3
Wonderful post! We definitely don't have to take care of everyone, even if they think we are supposed to. :) Somehow we went from caring for our families to caring for the world. We can only do so much in a day.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right Cher. The worst part of it is that we feel guilty it we don't take care of everything :)
DeleteSuch a beautiful and honest post, Ellen! Thank you for that :) I also see here that you can be spiritual without having to focus on intuition and emotion - through the practical things like enjoying nature or baking bread... :D
ReplyDeleteYes we can Chloe. That reminds me of the grounded spirituality of the suit of Pentacles which you mentioned in your mail :)
DeleteThere is a lot of strength in being able to say this - to yourself, and even on your blog! It takes courage, and by seeing your courage it allows others to embrace their own courage as well. You are so right that it is easiest to love ourselves when things are bright and fun and relaxed. But when we are in darker places we do really need it more. As Chloe says, though we often associate the Queen of Cups with spirituality, and love, the definition of "spiritual" has a far broader scope than this Queen, or even the suit of cups as a whole. They are just one small part. HUGS.
ReplyDeleteThanks Olivia
DeleteIdeally, we strive to embody parts of every queen but in real life there are often one or two queens who are neglected and/or denied. I think I am a mixture of the Queen of Pentacles and the Queen of Swords (both in upright and reversed position ;)) Maybe that's why this Queen annoys me ???
My take on it was similar to Beth's, that maybe this card is a reminder that you don't have to be responsible for everyone else's emotional health. Great reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you Siddaleah. I think this is something many of us women should remember. :)
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