Seven of Rods – respecting boundaries; no trespassing!

Today’s card is the Seven of Rods from the Anna K tarot. We see two men in this depiction  They are in conflict, fighting, attacking and defending. Usually I identify with the person defending the tower. I always have the feeling I have to defend my personal place and time in this household. A remnant of when my girls where younger and my husband was ill. But  today I am not so sure this is only about my boundaries. We are living with three adult women in one house and it’s still difficult for me to see my girls that way because I am also still there mother who worries a lot and is quite controlling in nature J

So maybe this is a sign for me to let go of the reins a bit more and trust them to make their own decisions and let them make their own faults. Of course when they ask for help or guidance I will always be there for them. Seeing us resembled in this card  the need for change is obvious. We all need our personal space. Since there is also a chance my  S.I.L. will come and live with us for a few months there will be definitely need for some checking and/or maintenance on our personal fences  and discussing  some ground rules about "fair fighting".

One year Blog anniversary!!!

This afternoon I realized it  is exactly one year ago that that I've started writing this blog. It was it was initially my intention to have my own place on the internet where I could show some of my creative projects if somebody would ask for this.

Little could I know I would enjoy writing my daily posts about  my tarot and oracle cards that much. Since then, I’ve written 355 posts which I am so grateful for. This blog has given me so much joy, new insights and fulfillment.

But most importantly it has given me the chance to connect to my far away living but also very close, dear friends from all over the world and also it has been such a good experience to feel passionate about something this much and for such a long time: Writing and tarot; what a great combination. Even though I may have felt creatively  blocked sometimes, this blog was always there for me. For some reason I can always write

So, to all of my dear readers, known and unknown, a heartfelt thank you  for following me on this exiting and empowering journey and for always being there.  

Hugs Ellen

Ten of Pentacles - Is everybody Happy ???

For today I've drawn the Ten of Pentacles from the Anna K Tarot. As I’ve said before, this beautiful and vibrant colored tarot deck reads for me like a storybook. This card is the “They live happily ever after” card for me. It is all about family, security, loyalty, traditions and yes… also about gratitude for all these things J.

Honestly, the guidebook says:  “The Ten of Pentacles stand for the kind of wealth that can be found in daily life. They stand for happiness with your family, for the small joys of life - garden, sunshine, a cup of tea, the sound of rain, the visit of a good friend... Those who know and appreciate this kind of wealth will hardly ever be discontented or unhappy.”
So as from today this can also be my "gratitude" card!

Yesterday I've addressed the issue of last post and although difficult is was the right decision to do. Afterwards I felt so much better. It  was such a relief to have been able to express my feelings and to be heard.

What stands out to me the most in this card, is the love and care for this tiny baby. It is surrounded by family and friends and is safe and protected. When I consider a tarot card as a mirror of who I am then the child is that little precious part of me who I want so badly to be happy and cherished. And today I am sure I am not the only one who wants this and  I feel loved and supported by my family and dear ones

Nine of Swords - What to do when you worry too much?

What a fitting card I've drawn for myself today: the Nine of Swords from the Anna K Tarot. Being a rather anxious worrier myself I can often relate very easily to this card but today even more because yesterday evening I was feeling down and hurt and I had trouble sleeping. When you look at the girl in the depiction you’ll see she doesn't even have room to lay down in her bed because of all the swords are sticking in her mattress. Sometimes I wonder if I expect too much of others but I felt left out and forgotten and it did hurt and I felt sad about it.  And then I find it difficult not to wonder about the why’s and I worry about how deal with this issue; what is the right thing to do. Should I forget about it and act if nothing has happened or should I share my feelings and risk to be completely misinterpreted or brushed aside. 

So I ask what is the best solution if I worry too much and can’t stop my train of thoughts. And I got the Seven of Cups. This card is shouting to me: “you should practice what you preach” 

Last Tuesday I had written the post: “a thousand gifts”. This was all about how to be grateful and see the beauty and wonders of life even when you’re down or in a stressful situation. And look at me two days later. Needing the Seven of Cups to remind me of my own resolution to practice gratitude and list my gifts J. 

So for today I am  going to pick up my journal and write down the content of those Seven Cups!

“It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.” Eckhart Tolle

The Star – Rebuilding yourself

For today I've pulled The Star from the Crystal Visions Tarot and like any other Star card from each of my decks this one too gave me a feeling of peace and relaxation. This is the perfect card of the Major Arcana to follow after The Tower. It represents o.a. hope for the future. After a major Tower drama we can trust to always be able to regroup ourselves and to reevaluate our direction, our life purpose.

The woman in this depiction is fully dressed unlike other Star ladies. Still she seems vulnerable without her ego build walls and barriers. She is surrounded by eight stars which is the number of Strength, so she is strong enough to stand on her own two feet again.  But she is also strong enough to recognize her own imperfections and rebuild her self esteem in spite of them and to learn to love herself as a whole being.

Maybe it is the challenge of this card to really, honestly appreciate the beauty of your own imperfection. To see who we really are deep down and to love ourselves because of it . The woman in the Star is connected to both land and water, which means to me this challenge has to be met with both reason and  feelings; with both mind and heart We have to tip our toe into our inner wisdom (lake) to acknowledge our true self and to adore our uniqueness . 

A Thousand Gifts…

For today a slightly different post than usual. Lately I've been thinking a lot about Gratitude and what it really means to me. Maybe because we are heading for the Autumn equinox this concept has been a lot on my mind. Gratitude is the one pillar of my spiritual practice which never wavers. When everything else is put to the test and doubted, gratitude remains fully alive and intact. I even don’t mind if I can figure out  to who or what I am grateful.

Yesterday when I was Googling about Gratitude, to explore how others practiced it and what they had to share about this subject, I came across  Ann Voskamp, a Christian writer, who has written a book called: “One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are”. It was written in 2011 so perhaps many of you have heard about it already. Although her spiritual path isn't exactly mine, I think she has a very important message for all of us, since in my opinion Gratitude is a universal principle. She dares you to list one thousand things you are grateful for. One thousand gifts from who/whatever you think they are coming from. It is a well known practice to list five things each night before you go to sleep but to list one thousand is something entirely different. 

Ann Voskamp has been through a lot in her life and she claims her faith but even more her Gratitude practice has pulled her through. Gratitude is not all about being thankful for the big things in life but even more for  the everyday events, like a bird singing, a leaf falling or the snoring of your dog. Just try to notice the beauty around you where you are at that moment. You don’t have to live a grand life to be grateful. This morning while drinking my first coffee in the garden, I enjoyed the first signs of Autumn in crisp morning the air.

Being grateful when times are good isn't so challenging but being grateful when the wheel turns and life gets difficult is not that easy.
Seeing beauty when the lightening hits The Tower is a gift we can gracefully accept with our hands wide open. That’s when trust comes into play. Do you trust the flow of life; trust that everything will be okay again. That’s something to be grateful for and everything else will follow. We are all worthy of so much; even of one thousand gifts and more

So for today I am going to start with my list of a thousand gifts.

“Wherever you are, be all there." I have lived the runner, panting ahead in worry, pounding back in regrets, terrified to live in the present, because here-time asks me to do the hardest of all: just open wide and receive.” Ann Voskamp 

The Three of Wands - Almost on my way again

After the Ace and the Two of wands, today we have the Three of Wands from the Crystal Visions Tarot. It almost feels like a sort of drum roll before I on my way, moving forward again after being ill: First the Ace with all the expectations en choices and options; then the Two which urged me to slow down, find out what I truly want and think about how I want to pursuit it. And now in  the Three of Wands we see a woman sitting on a rock. The lake is left behind and she is watching her radiant crystal ball. She knows  what she wants, where she wants to go. Her vision is crystal clear. Her path is laid out before her and she only has to follow her star. (This star is in fact a blemish on my card J). She doesn't have to go alone on this adventure She has two animal guides to go with her: A lion cub and a little dragon. Both animals are still young and immature but when fed and played with, they can grow into fierce allies on a creative journey.  They both represent inner strength and passion which are definitely Wandsy traits, I personally have to nurture and develop more. I know they are in there, but I don’t have the guts to see them in their true appearance. In my mind they will  always stay small, similar to the two pets of this woman in the three of Wands. Maybe this card is also about gathering confidence and strength and about raising these youngsters before we are good to go. (luckily in our mindscape this can be done a lot faster then in reality)

So for today I will feed and play with my inner dragon and lion and see if they are already up to the challenge to move forward again.