Five of Water – Some things can’t be fixed

 

Today’s card is the Five of Water from the Vision Quest Tarot. The caption of this card is “Loss”. This card is all about loss and grief and how we deal with it.  In the beginning stages of loss, the only pots we are able to see are the broken ones  and  we feel like life is slipping away and there is nothing we can do to prevent this. But gradually things are going to shift and we notice the two pots that are still whole. Now this is a crucial moment in our grieving process: are we going to keep focusing on what we have lost; trying to hold on what is forever gone and are we going to let those wounds fester and  devour our energy or are we trying to be grateful for the pots which are still standing upright. This process can take a lot of time  and it is often an ongoing  back and forth movement but if we are willing and unrelenting, we will notice the time we are spending with the two pots filled with water will increase. What will happen if we keep focusing on these pots?. I drew the Ace of Earth. This tells me that we will be able to embrace the energy of the Ace of Earth again and of Life itself.  After our dark night of the soul a new day is waiting eagerly for us. Look at this multicolored corncob. So many possibilities and so many dreams still to come true. We will able to focus one new projects find new passions and become whole again. Not the same person as we were before but whole and maybe a bit wiser…

Time to leave my Tower

For today I wanted to share again a part of the IG Shadow Work challenge with you. This day the question for our daily draw was:

Devil – What do I need to let go of?

For me The Devil is all about illusions, so with that in mind I shuffled my cards and drew the Four of Wands. While shuffling, another card jumped out of the deck, so I decided to pay attention to this one too. It was the Four of Cups. Now I had two fours to work with. Four is the number of Stability and Security but two times four feels more like stagnation and being stuck in the mud.

The four of wands urges me to let go of my futile attempts to keep resembling a nice and quiet conventional family in a house with a white picket fence. I thought I had had it all once but all too soon I discovered that life isn’t about experiencing the suburban bliss but more about how to cope with the many challenges life offers you and how to cherish the moments of breathing in and out in between.

Besides the need of letting go of this illusion it is also important for me to let go of my feelings of discontent with my life as it is right now. Clinging to this illusion and the sadness over my major loss makes it very hard for me to really move forward.

Today, eleven years ago, my dream of always and forever was shattered to pieces. Maybe it is time I try to pick up some to the shards to make room for new dreams. In order to do this it is necessary I leave my tower but before that I have to fill up my Cups with lots of love and gentle compassion for myself because it is so scary….. 

Dreamer Three – Be gentle with yourself

Nobody likes to get a card like this: Dreamer Three (the Three of Swords) from the Tarot of the Sidhe. We see a Sidhe woman with her heart ripped out. It is torn apart and eaten by three black ravens. The three trees which are rooted in her skirt are bare. With her hair she is connected to the blood red clouds and behind her a large sun is rising behind the mountains. She is fully merged with her surroundings yet she is heart - and soulless.

“The heart of Dream is torn in three

Leaving a hole where the whole should be

The blessed ravens feast on sorrow

That the light may bring a fairer morrow”

How many of us are living like this. Going through the motion of our daily lives and not being aware  of how we feel and if we are living the life we want. Is our heart still in it, or is it torn out and crushed by unresolved grief and heart break. So often we don’t take the time to acknowledge our pain and we think when we act as always, eventually it will go away. But believe me it won’t. It will strike back even harder just as long until you feel the hole inside you.  The positive side of this card is when you do connect with your pain you will heal. Your heart will become more resilient and at the same time more compassionate, tender and loving. “Be gentle with yourself and only go as fast as the slowest part of you feels safe to go”. After you've healed your heart and soul, you can dream again about what you want out of life, because with a heartfelt dream all options are open to us again

Lyrics:Gentle With Myself

By Karen Drucker

I will be gentle with myself.

I will be gentle with myself.

And I will hold myself like a newborn baby child.

- repeat…

I will be tender with my heart.

I will be tender with my heart.

And I will hold my heart like a newborn baby child.

- repeat

And I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.

I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.

I will be easy on myself.

I will be easy on myself.

And I’ll love myself like a newborn baby child.

- repeat

And I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.

- repeat

Now, I know…

I am gentle with myself.

I am gentle with myself.

And I hold myself like a newborn baby child.

- repeat…

And I rock myself like a newborn baby child.

I hold myself like a newborn baby child.

I love myself like a newborn baby child.