For my daily draw, I am doing a two card spread. I hope it will clarify some doubts I have about my healing process. I feel there is still a lot of anxiety blocking me from going forward. I will use my runes for the first position and the Wild Unknown Tarot for the second one
The spread is called: “Afraid in the dark spread”. I've found it somewhere on the internet a long time ago:
1 What am I afraid of? – Mannaz - self
A well-known self confidence issue I guess. When do I stop apologizing for being me? When do I start believing in the wonderful me that I am. And when do I stop hiding this woman for the rest of the world. It is so hard to live an authentic life. To embrace both the light and the dark aspects of myself. I don’t have to be perfect; I just have to be brave enough to be me
2 What will turn the light on - Ten of Swords
Well this is definitely not the card I wished for. I would have preferred something like the Ace of Cups. But fate has decided otherwise. Ten swords are sticking in this massive bull. The last sword has even blinded him. This is a low as a person can go: Beaten down by his outdated and ridged thought patterns and fears. Before we can move on, our stubborn like a bull of an ego has to hit rock bottom and has to let go of everything he believed in including his melodramatic stories of “poor me”.
Today is new day and we can build up our Self, our Mannaz, one step at the time, filling it with confidence and inner strength: with ideas and stories which will empower instead of crush us.
So in the end this card was a appropriate gift for today. A gift which heralds change and a bright future ( look how the upper half of this card is more bright than the lower half)
(NB. Rereading this post and my previous one, it seems that the issue of self confidence is a reoccurring theme in my daily draws)