For today I've drawn the Five Of Rainbows (Pentacles) from the Osho Zen tarot.
“A small child is standing on one side of a gate, looking through it. He is so small, and so convinced that he cannot get through. He cannot see that the chain holding the gate is not locked; all he has to do is open it.
Whenever we feel 'left out', or excluded, it brings up this feeling of being a small, helpless child. It is not surprising, as the feeling is deeply rooted in our earliest childhood experiences. The problem is that, because it is so deeply rooted, it plays over and over again, like a tape, in our lives.”
This
card is telling me to stop doubting myself. To stop imagining what other people
might think of me. I have been disappointed in people many times, many ways. Always thinking
there had to be something wrong with me. That I wasn't good enough. I was raised
to be a people pleaser and when I didn't feel accepted I always thought I hadn't done enough to get them to
like me. When I look at this card I even think maybe the chain is the child’s
way of keeping the bad world outside; afraid to get hurt again.
But
lately I have come to realize there is nothing wrong with me. I am good just the way I am right now. I've
learned to accept and yes, to truly love myself. I know I am precious and worthy
of Love. So let’s open the gate and step
into the world full of rainbow colors!
Yes, it can be a temptation to padlock and barricade the doors when we have been consistently hurt by others and feel the world is against us. Self-acceptance and love of oneself is the only way forwards at such times I feel. If we can fully accept ourselves we then give off a different, more positive kind of energy, which in turn provides more chance of attracting the 'right' people and situations towards us.
ReplyDeleteI fully agree. I am so much more confident about who I am and gradually it is showing in everything. Posture, smile, assertiveness:you name it! :)
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
I bet almost everyone at some time in their lives feels like an outsider, like they don't belong or are not accepted. When I remember that, this feeling doesn't seem so personal. I think my labels and categories are a part of the problem. When I start grouping people by what they have or how they look, I'm placing myself behind that locked gate.
ReplyDeleteLabeling and or judging is a well known defense system to insure you are better/different than the ones being judged
DeleteI think everybody does it and are mostly unaware of it. Living in the present moment will surely shed some light over over these recurrent thoughts :)
I often have that left out feeling. It does make me feel like a small child but it also ticks me off royally that I let it bother me. Promise me if you are going out for tea you'll ask me and I'll promise you the same...
ReplyDeleteha ha I will!! I'bet we'll have a lot to talk about over tea and lots of goodies to go with it.
DeleteYes I've been angry too, often to cover up my sadness of feeling left out. Nowadays I like my own companionship. And if someone is coming over, they have to put up with who I really am :)
Hi Ellen!!! You are a great person and a good friend! Sometimes we have still traces of disappointments we have had, probably those people didn't appreciate us and our values, so they don't deserve not a bit of our concern about them :) The gate is opened...take a coffee and enjoy every minute :D A kiss and Muchas Estrellas!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you much my dear Las Magas Your comments always brighten up my day!!!
DeleteYou are such a warm and caring woman. I have already cup coffee and I am enjoying it right now :D
So glad you are finding loving acceptance for yourself. That is such a powerful learning, and one that somehow many of us need to find and re-find.
ReplyDeleteRefind.. That is so true. I believe when we were very young, loving ourselves was the natural thing to do. :)
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