The Emperor and the Nine of Pentacles - Practice makes… Happy

Yesterday I’ve pulled two cards from the Rider Wait tarot for my daily draw. One to answer the question: what is preventing me from experiencing creative freedom and the next would be telling me what my gift would be if I could embrace this freedom, which is already within me, waiting to be found.

The first card, the challenging one, was The Emperor. Look at him sitting there in his armor on his concrete throne. If he would only look behind him, he would notice the mountains, symbolizing the blocks he is experiencing. But no, he just sits there being high and mighty and if he would sit there much longer I think his armor would immobilize him because of the thick layers of rust.  The Emperor in this position is rigid and controlling and is certainly not in the mood for a  playful and open minded approach of making of art.

If I would discover my creative freedom my gift would be the Nine of Pentacles: a feeling a success. fulfillment, happiness and tremendous self-worth. This card is a perfect follow up of the Eight of Pentacles, where we see a guy practicing his skills.

Together these two cards have influenced me enormously yesterday. First I went to the gym because I knew I had to get out of my chair and out of my head and that I had to start moving. Then after a refreshing shower I picked up my watercolors and painted a part of the Nine of Pentacles in my Tarot journal. That was a big step for me. Instead of writing a blogpost about it (the wish of The Emperor) I also painted a Sunflower which was so much fun to do. Sometimes it feels like I have to open the floodgate to my creativity, which can be so heavy and is sometimes almost nearly impossible to do but when it is open creating feels like the most natural thing to do and it makes me so very happy.

Portrait of Jesus in Oil Pastel

Yesterday I read the following journaling prompt from Journaling Sage on IG: “If you let go of expectation, what would you start doing?” And I wrote: “I would draw and paint all day long!” That was indeed an eye-opener for me. All these expectations of creating the perfect artwork prevent me from doing anything at all. It is not so much that I think I can’t draw, but more that everything I draw (or paint) has to perfect, otherwise what is the point of drawing it anyway....

Now this made me realize how much I  undermine my creative playful self by putting such high expectations on the result of my efforts. And then I picked up my oil pastels and drew a portrait of Jesus. 

For me a logical follow up after my renditions of Mother Mary.  He is a lot on my mind lately and for now this feels very familiar and comforting. While working on his portrait, it felt so liberating to have none of those negative thoughts. Only after I was finished these nagging voices tried to disapprove of my work. They saw so many flaws and mistakes but I was able to let everything slide and focus on the contentment and fulfillment which making this portrait has given me.

This felt remarkably strong and confident. Yes making art and to be able to be grateful for whatever you create is all that matters!

Oil pastel of Brigid

This year I wanted to celebrate Imbolc by making an oil pastel painting of Brigid, a Celtic fire goddess of poetry, smithcraft and healing. 

Brigid is also sometimes called Mary of Eire. The similarities between Brigid and Mary has been the cause of my renewed interest in her. Both are benevolent protective aspects of the Divine Feminine. Especially Brigid’s aspect of Hearth goddess and her inspirational creative fire are both very appealing to me.

After some more study I’ve discovered that that Brigid was also revered in the southern parts of The Netherlands. Just a few kilometers from my home town, in a small village there is a St. Brigida church with a statue of Saint Brigid. They also have St. Brigida school and a St. Brigida street  You can imagine I’m going to visit that village any time soon now.

By sharing this painting with you I want to wish you all a blessed Imbolc or St Brigid’s day.

Hugs Ellen

Oil Pastel Painting: “full Moon Song”

It's quite obvious, I can’t get enough of my oil pastels. For this painting I’ve used some photo’s which I’ve found online for reference, to be able to draw the wolf and the woman in the right pose. The whole painting is made with shades of grey and blue in order to create a nighttime feel.  So far it has been a great oil pastel adventure…

Oil pastel drawing: “Everlasting love”

Yesterday I’ve made a drawing of a Mother with Child with beeswax crayons and oil pastels. I was thinking about what I could draw when the image of a lemniscate came to mind: the symbol of infinity.  Immediately I connected it with a mother figure ; a head and a womb. Then I started to draw…..

Mary did you know?

Today I wanted to share with you my first attempt to paint with oil pastels. I was pleasantly surprised by the versatility of this medium. I suppose the subject of my painting doesn’t come as a surprise to you, because lately Mother Mary appears on every drawing or painting I create. I find it so easy to relate to her and in doing so to relate to the Divine Feminine again.

This particular painting is inspired by the song “Mary did you know"

This song tells us about how little Mary knew up front about the future of her baby. In the song the importance of his life is highlighted but it also got me thinking about the hardships she had to endure being his mother. I can't help but wonder...if she would have known, would she have said; “Behold the servant of the Lord”

And that brings me back to my own life:  if I would have known the sorrow and the pain, the struggles and the challenges I would have to endure in this life, would I chose for this life again, say yes to the complete package? 

Truthfully? Yes, yes and thrice yes! Simple because I couldn’t bear to miss out on the love I receive on daily base from my beautiful family!

Wishing you a wonderful New Year filled with Love and Happiness!

Playing with watercolors

Nothing is a soothing for a restless agitated mind than playing with my drawing pens and watercolors. I am so grateful to have remembered this when I needed it the most.
The Divine Feminine in her aspect of Mother Mary keeps inspiring me and for that I am also truly thankful.

Eight of Arrows – We Struggle Because We Have Hope

 

Today’s card is the Eight of Arrows (Swords) from the Wildwood Tarot. We see a young woman struggling to find her way through the snow and the blizzard. There are eight broken and wasted arrows lying in the snow, with no use to anyone anymore. The woman is carrying a lit lantern, which is a symbol of her hope to eventually find her way again. Everybody knows how it feels to be in a situation like this; to be challenged by choices and dilemmas, which are often calling for harsh and sometimes painful decisions. And we know we are the ones who have to make them. Life can be cruel and difficult but we are fueled with hope that we will prevail. Otherwise we wouldn’t struggle and fight to overcome these challenges. And what will our destination be, once we have survived this storm?

The Six of Arrows. We are heading for the port to set sail on our boat towards calm weather. Now that we have left behind our broken arrows, our old thought patterns, we are energized with new possibilities and ideas. There are boundaries to cross. New reasonings will be tested, and new approaches will be researched. What wonders may lie ahead???

Personally I’ve experienced yesterday a minor struggle of my own.  After reading Bev’s blogpost “indulging the Ego” I was wondering what hidden agenda I myself had for creating art and why my ego is always so hesitant to create since it would probable result in praise.  Or is my ego afraid that I will ruin the drawing and it won’t get it’s quick fix. Some part of me wanted to start drawing again so badly and finally, late at night I succeeded to overcome my inner adversary and I drew a woman’s face. Maybe I should call her Hope.

Berkano and the Nine of Pentacles - Time to leave the nest?

Today’s Rune is Berkano, the equivalent of The Empress. This is the rune of abundance, creativity, fertility, nurtering, and of course the symbol of the Divine Feminine. My card for today is the Nine of Pentacles from the Wild Unknown Tarot.  Immediately I  felt so safe when I saw this depiciton: nine pentacles are symmetrically arranged in a diamond shaped nest. They are shielded from the outside world with white soft feathers. These feathers give  a very motherly feel to the nest.  The Nine of Pentacles is all about being content with what you have achieved and received so far. It is a card of accomlishment and gratitude. This card is related to the Hermit. Al the nines share an energy of solitude and reflection; of discovering who we truly are. But they also encourage us not to stay to long here but to move forward in life and trust we will have the tools and the wisdom to do so.

Personally for me today this means I want to trust and embrace my ability to make art. Considering my nine pentacles in the nest, this is not a strange thing to do. I’ve come to this Nine of Pentacles  through a lot of practice (Eight of Pentacles) but after having ""reveled in my success" it is time to spread my wings and leave the nest.

What is helping me a lot to move forward lately, is the notion that I don't have to be super creative all the time. Copying pictures is a very good practice and a lot of fun too. It is also a good way to warm up our creative muscle. The results are rewarding and it is very relaxing thing to do. 

Affirmation: Today I am grateful for the gift of creative abundance

P.S  I've added yesterdays drawing of a little gnome. M. noticed it looked like The Hermit. Now I like it even more. J

Nauthiz and the Knight of Cups - No need to walk on water

For today I have pulled the rune Nauthiz two times:  First on my Rune app and then, because it didn’t feel “real” enough, another  one from my rune pouch. Maybe apps are quite capable to tune into our energy field???

Anyway Nauthiz is the rune of troubles and poverty and of the need and strength to turn the tide. And that is when the Knight of Cups from the Shadowscapes Tarot starts riding the waves. His mount is a white unicorn, symbol of his purest intentions. The undines and sylphs are beckoning him towards the shining gold cup; his holy grail.

This is an admirable quality of this Knight but perhaps also his downfall. He might feel  the urge to keep on riding, searching, until he can hold this perfect Cup in his hands. The elementals are seemingly helping him but maybe they are also leading him away from his true purpose: to live in and enjoy the present moment.

This strive for perfection is an eternal ongoing quest and this might be blocking him from experiencing his daily small but also very significant accomplishments.

Today I will enjoy the present moment and receive the abundance of this day.

P.S. This afternoon I've been practicing with my new pens without the need of making a perfect drawing. I've just copied a picture from a fairy tale book and I had a lot of fun  doing so. And that is what matters the most

Diving for Light

For today I've pulled “Diving for Light” from the Sacred Rebels Oracle. We see a beautiful dressed and coiffured lady, who has taken the leap and plunged herself into the waters of her subconscious. She has wheat in her hear and seahorses as adornments. For me it says that she is still awake and aware while being guided on her spiritual journey.

This card calls us to find our inner Light deep inside us, in places where we will expect to find them the least: In the dark corners of your heart, in the shadows of your soul and the cobwebs in your mind. The places you've “forgotten” all about but still have a strong grip on you during your daily life. Each difficult experience and period of your life brings also gifts beside the grief and the hurt they carry. All too often these gifts get overlooked because we are so busy trying to coop, to forget or to repress.To discover  them we have to find the courage to dive deep, to accept the darkness, embrace the pain and gather the gifts.

Yesterday I felt inspired by Kerry’s post on Neopagan Priestess where she told us she was inspired by me talking about mandala’s.  Right there and then I picked up a piece of paper and started drawing too. First I drew three concentric circles and a few lines as guidelines but  I found the courage to skip the drawing of a “perfect” mandala with pencil and started right away with paint and crayons and colored pencils. It was so much fun to do . 

Feeling creatively blocked is kind of a dark place for me. Not feeling good enough, feeling unsecure and afraid of failing is always lurking in the corner of my mind. I feel like I have dived deep and found a little fearless gem by making this mandala. J

My Painting – Reclaiming freedom!

Today I would like to share my painting with you. It is quite different than what you expect from me. Because of that it is rather daunting for me to make this post. But since the process of making this painting has given me so much pleasure and an enormous sense of freedom I  decided to take this last hurdle too.

I've started out with a simple line drawing without thinking beforehand what I wanted to draw. Because the large shapes did remind me of monsters, the last thing I did was drawing the eyes.

From there on it was a playful experience with paint, palette knifes and brushes. Is the painting finished? I don’t know. Perhaps in a few days I will add another layer. Or I might start a new one. Or I'll paint a few simultaneously. Everything goes, everything is allowed! Isn't that amazing! 

(Ps Sorry for so many pictures but otherwise I wasn't able to convey the process properly.)

The Chariot - Confident I’m on my way!

Today’s card is the Chariot form the Crystal Visions Tarot. As most chariot cards this one too radiates willpower, self confidence, perseverance and victory. The woman riding this chariot, is a young warrior leaving the safety of the town and castle behind her. She is holding her reins with only one hand which tells us she’s in total control over the horses, who would rather choose their own direction. One is black, the other is white as a symbol of opposing and/or conflicting emotions and ideas. But the charioteer doesn't seem to be bothered. She know where she has to go in order to be victorious. She is  also accompanied by two sharp eyed eagles who help her to make the right decisions along the way.

She does remind me of Freya riding her chariot in the sky with her two cats. She is to me also a representative of fiery strength and self confidence.

Yesterday I've gathered my strength and  I went upstairs to look at some old paintings and drawings I've made. After that I've picked up a piece of paper and only two pencils and an eraser. Nothing more. I started doodling and I felt good. It was difficult to let go of having to make a “beautiful “and finished” drawing. Finally just before dinner I've drawn a duckling. So no time to make it perfect either. I have enjoyed myself so much (humming !!!) and I was so relieved to be able to eliminate the blockage and stifle my inner critic. It was an empowering experience. I definitely feel something has shifted. J

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think”.  Winnie The Pooh 

Happy Easter

With my pastel drawing of an Easter Hare, the predecessor of the Easter bunny,

 I want to wish you all a

Happy Easter

My Drawing of a Moon Hare

It has been a month since I've posted a drawing here. But today it felt like a perfect day to try to draw  a moon hare (I had found a picture to draw from). After this morning I had to take care of myself a little bit extra. First I went out for some cycling; the weather is beautiful here. It smells like spring. Then I took my sketchbook and drew this moon hare. I am feeling a lot better now. J

Drawing: "Feeling great"

The card "Express you individuality",  has inspired me to make a little drawing in my sketchbook. I thought let's share this with you.

My free flow drawing of “Widekind”

For today I’ll work some more with the energies of the two cards I've drawn yesterday: Penelope Dreamweaver and The Blasted Oak. But first things first and I want to share my experiences I’I've had yesterday after I’d published my blog-post.

For me, leaving the safety of the oak and taking a risk to fall on my bare buttocks on the earth has often to do with expressing myself freely without being afraid of the reaction of others and my own inner critic. Mostly when I think about creativity I’m inclined to narrow it down to drawing and painting. Yesterday though, I've had a lovely comment from Sycomoretree, who reminded me that this blog was an creative expression too. This was a an eye-opener for me, because I usually don’t consider my writing as creative and I like to explore this further later on. 

For today it’s back to drawing again. Yesterday, I've started drawing in in a bound sketchbook, which means that whatever the result is it stays  in the book. This may seem insignificant, but for me it’s a huge step from drawing on loose disposable sheets of paper which can be thrown away at any moment. (even after it’s finished)

Also I’ve made a drawing since a very long time, without an example and without knowing what I was going to draw. I just started with some lines, which became leaves and suddenly I found a spot for a little face. After the drawing was finished I took my colored pencils and gave this little forest child “Widekind” some color. I see in her my own shyness, just peeking to the world from under her leaves…

And last but not least I’ve posted her here for everybody to see J

My painting of Strength from The Hidden Realm Tarot

Yesterday I was inspired by my daily Tarot card the Five of Vessel - Ecstasy from the Wildwood Tarot to make art today. Due to my neck injury (which I am happy to say is gradually improving) I haven’t been painting or drawing for too long. So I've set  some time aside today for myself to play with my watercolors and pencils. I took the picture of Strength from The Hidden Realm Tarot painted by Julia Jeffrey as an example to work with. Although my skills aren't comparable to Julia’s I am very happy with the result and even more happy with the wonderful time I've had. I was humming and singing and painting and it felt like heaven. For today no tarot cards but some pictures showing the process of my painting adventure

First a drawing

Then some paint

A little bit more paint..

Followed by pencils

Finished!!

My Drawing of the Page of Swords

After a long time without drawing I took my sketchbook and started to draw the Page of Swords. Yes sometimes I like to draw from a Rider Waite tarot card. The pictures are rather simple and it pushes me to look at the details in the card. It took me longer than usual because I had to stop several times (neck L), but I am very pleased with it.J