Five of Air - Fear

Today's card is Five of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. It's called Fear. When I saw this card my throat tightened and I felt almost immediately my anxiety creeping up on me. How could I write about fear? How could I share the magnitude of the hold it has over me. Fear is my constant companion and my biggest enemy.  It protects me from having to take risks and it prevents me from living a full life. It binds me to home, it lets my paints go to waist. It keeps me from playfully trying but it also prevents me from failing.
The question this card is asking me is how to face and perhaps even befriend my fear. How to coax it gently from de driver's seat to the back seat. Fear should not be seen as an enemy but as a way of learning about possible risks and how to proceed with caution and curiosity. Only when Fear is taking over all other instincts and our will to move forward we have to step up and say: "No more of this!"
Today this card has inspired me to blog and express myself, despite feeling blocked and thinking I have nothing to add to the conversation. I think Fear and I are going to have a serious chat about who is in charge of Ellen...

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." Thich Nhat Hanh

Father of Air - A perfect aid in legal matters

Today's card is Father of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot.
He comes across as a much easier going fellow than his Rider Waite counterpart. To me it feels as if he invites me to confide in him, to ask him what the right course of action is for me. He will help me to do the right thing, to make the right decisions.
Since the beginning of November, I have major water damage in my bedroom which is most likely caused by the adjacent bathroom of my neighbor. I am insured for this kind of damage but my neighbor refuses to find out what causes it. Before a cause is found and also fixed my damage can't be repaired. All this causes M and me a lot of stress but I am also confident that we will find a way to come to an agreement with our neighbor. Luckily I don't have to do it all by myself. There are a lot of skilled professionals who are giving me advice and practical assistance.
So yes, the decisiveness, intelligence and verbal skills of the Father of Air are very welcome to me.

Ace of Air – Being honest with ourselves

This morning M. and I went shopping at a local metaphysical store and she gifted me a gorgeous piece of tumbled Sodalite. This stunning deep blue stone with white calcite veining is a stone of clarity, honesty, and truth. For me, it is a perfect stone to help to express myself more truthfully in my writing. The card I picked to go with this stone today is the Ace of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. The feather in the depiction reminds me of a quill pen, so it fits wonderfully with my intention for this piece of Sodalite.

Although I am a fervent journaler and creative writer, it is sometimes hard for me to be really genuine and authentic in my writing.  Too often I am inclined to shy away when I touch upon painful subjects or I find myself smoothing over a difficult situation.

Yes, even in my journal, my safe place, my sacred space, I sometimes, mostly unwittingly, wear a mask instead of being true to myself.

I sincerely hope this stone will become a key for me to open the doors to my inner realms, to help me be confident enough to seek for the right words to write down what I find there and to bring me inner peace when I am done.

While writing this I realize it is a great stone for shadow work.

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson

Daughter of Air – fly boldly, fly freely

Today’s Card is Daughter of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. In her hand, she is holding a feather. This feather is linking to her inner free flying eagle, who rises above her daily sometimes trivial problems to get a better view of the big picture and who will guide her into the right direction.

This card is all about self-liberation. To get out of our rut and turn into the freedom loving human being we are supposed to be. Staying where we are may seem the most secure and comforting thing to do but when we remind ourselves of our inner strength and innate power it isn’t strange we long for more. Remember we aren’t newly hatched chicks anymore;  we are full grown eagles ready to be bold and soar. 

"There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud. Carl Sandburg

Mother of Earth – It is okay to be proud of ourselves

Today’s card is Mother of Earth from the Vision Quest Tarot. She is all about nurturing ourselves as well as others, about connecting with our body and with nature.  Mother of Earth implies that whatever we do for ourselves we also do for others since everything is connected and we are all one. So practising self-care and self-love is by no means an act of self-centeredness.

Today my focus is the child on her lap. It feels like she wants to tell her mother all the things she has already accomplished. Yes, she knows she has still a lot to learn and to practice but that doesn’t mean she can’t  be proud of her achievements so far.

We tend to focus mostly on the what we still need to improve and on how to better ourselves but it can be quite inspiring to give ourselves a pat on the back once in a while just because we deserve it.

Today I am proud of baking our daily bread, choosing organic alternatives for my groceries  if I can afford them, taking a walk, pumpkins in our garden and meditating before breakfast

What would you like to share with Mother of Earth today?

Raidho and The Hanged Man – The journey within

My rune for today is Raidho (wheel), the rune of traveling and movement. The question I like to ask this rune is: "Where do I go from here?" and I pulled The Hanged Man. 

So physically I am going nowhere but that doesn’t mean I am not going on a journey. The Hanged Man tells us it is time to take a pause and reflect on what we need to hold on to and nurture and what we need to let go off. What is bringing deep fulfillment and is contributing to our purpose in life? What is helping us to step into our authentic power?  How can we respond to life with Love instead of reacting in fear? So many questions, so many things to ponder about. To find the answer to all of this we only need to quiet down and listen. This can be done during meditation, or while taking a walk or just sitting in our garden and let the beauty of nature sink in.

The Hanged Man of the Rider Waite Tarot shows us the effect of this inner journey. Just look at the halo around the man’s head. In the Wild Unknown Tarot we see how  by hanging upside down the bat keeps his head in the light too and in the Vision Quest Tarot the Hanged man is replaced by a Native American who is indeed going on a Vision Quest, an inner journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth

All the cards, however, show in their own special way that what is unconscious and hidden deep within needs to be brought into the light. Not to get rid of it but to truly own it and transform it from something we fear into something we are able to love. 

Five of Water – Some things can’t be fixed

 

Today’s card is the Five of Water from the Vision Quest Tarot. The caption of this card is “Loss”. This card is all about loss and grief and how we deal with it.  In the beginning stages of loss, the only pots we are able to see are the broken ones  and  we feel like life is slipping away and there is nothing we can do to prevent this. But gradually things are going to shift and we notice the two pots that are still whole. Now this is a crucial moment in our grieving process: are we going to keep focusing on what we have lost; trying to hold on what is forever gone and are we going to let those wounds fester and  devour our energy or are we trying to be grateful for the pots which are still standing upright. This process can take a lot of time  and it is often an ongoing  back and forth movement but if we are willing and unrelenting, we will notice the time we are spending with the two pots filled with water will increase. What will happen if we keep focusing on these pots?. I drew the Ace of Earth. This tells me that we will be able to embrace the energy of the Ace of Earth again and of Life itself.  After our dark night of the soul a new day is waiting eagerly for us. Look at this multicolored corncob. So many possibilities and so many dreams still to come true. We will able to focus one new projects find new passions and become whole again. Not the same person as we were before but whole and maybe a bit wiser…

Mother of Air – Who are you really?

Today’s card is Mother of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. Since I identify with the Queen of Swords so deeply, the interpretation of the artist of this card is very important for me. In this deck she is truly a feast for the eye. As a matter of fact it was this card which convinced me to buy the deck after all. In my post about Medicine Man I was pleasantly surprised by the substantial content of the guidebook, so of course I had to look for her little paragraph in there too:

“This image depicts your strength to be who you truly are. Not who you are supposed to be, should have been, or what others would like you to make you become. Your self-confidence has been awakened and with it awakens the courage to drop your masks once and for all. This is the only way to return to your own inner center”

I love her soft and caring  but also the determined and inquisitive look on her face. An eagle is flying high above in the sky, representing clarity and being able to see the bigger picture. Even the clouds seem to be influenced by her deep sense Self. As  a Mother, she is not only looking out for herself but also for her tribe (tipi’s in the background). This reminds me of how I need to find balance between taking care of myself and of my family. Maybe one day I will be able to let go of the distinction between these two forms of love and maybe after I’ve rediscovered my own inner center, I will realize that Love includes everyone all the time.

Two of Water - Kinship of Souls

This morning I felt like blogging again and I pulled the Two of Water from the Vision Quest Tarot. My initial thoughts were: “What a perfect energy for a great weekend!”and I immediately pulled another card on how to find and hold on to this feeling of harmony and bliss; of giving and receiving love without any conditions…. And I got the Son of Air …mmmm.

 

He is not an aspect of us that is selfless and peaceful. More the part that wants to be right all the time and wants to be heard at any cost, as long as he gets the message across. And then it struck me. These two cards can also be interpreted on a global scale. Because we all know what happens if we cannot let our inner Son of Air rest in the stillness of unconditional love…

Everything that happens around us starts somewhere on this earth on a personal level: the proverbial drop in the pond. So for today I want to mindful that my small droplets are filled with love and kindness, not only in word and deed but also in thought and prayer

Maybe one day soon we will realize that separation is an illusion and that we are all one.

Hugs  

The magician - I am good enough!

Honestly, I am not feeling it lately. While reading and commenting on the blogs of my online friends, I am lost for words when it comes to writing about the cards I draw myself.  And if something comes to mind, it feels empty and shallow. I miss it and it feels a bit lonely….?

So this morning I thought, let’s try it again and I drew the Medicine Man from the Vision Quest Tarot. My first reaction was: “Oh no not this card!. I am in no place to manifest anything!” So I put my deck aside and didn’t give it another thought. But this afternoon I got this pressing feeling to check out the guidebook from the deck and I read:

“The Medicine Man tells you that you already are what you seek. As soon as you turn your attention away from 'wanting to become' to the awareness of 'WHAT IS,' you get a taste of the meaning of this card. Once you focus on 'SIMPLY BEING' and renounce the mind's addiction to complicate everything by thinking about it, a new understanding arises”

And that is exactly the message I needed to hear today. Maybe my intuition didn’t pick up this idea when I looked at the card but it sure did listen to the nudge to read the guidebook. Often when I don’t feel so good I tend to aspire the things that are currently out of reach for me and even feel more poorly because of it:” I want to knit but it is too hot, I want to paint, but I don’t know what, I want a new deck but I don’t know which one.” Yes it all sounds all very whiny doesn’t it but it is what it is for now.  So again, trying to be a very upbeat, active and creative person, when I am  obviously not right now, isn’t very helpful and criticizing myself for it neither. But accepting who I am today and love and care for myself, will help me  move forward step by step.

“Waking up to who you are, requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” -  Alan Watts

Six of Air – Clarity

Today’s card is the Six of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. Instead of sailing away in a small boat to seek calmer waters  and repose on a distant shore, this card is asking me to stop right here, right now and ask myself: how I am doing? How do I feel? What is on my mind? What does my body tell me? Do I live accordingly to my inner truth? What is my inner truth? etc.  The main question is: Do I live a balanced  and harmonious life or are there one or more aspects which deserve some loving attention from my part.  

Yes, I suppose there are parts of me that feel a bit out of balance. The main issue is my lack of discipline to maintain a spiritual practice and my frustration about it.  This pattern is also applicable to my creative endeavors. It’s funny because going to the gym doesn’t cause me any problems at all. So what to do about it?

The Spiritual Warrior comes to the rescue. It’s funny because I don’t get a warrior vibe from this card at all. I suppose his battle is with his inner demons. He is on a quest for inner peace and balance. He listens to his intuition which tells him which way to go and what to do next. His heart is open for guidance from Spirit. This card teaches me not to plan so much ahead but to take life step by step and to try to be fully aware of where I am right now. Like many of us my day can be very chaotic and busy and filled with distractions and requests for attention. So often my mind is all over the place. Then I feel frustrated because the things I like most are the ones that stay on the back burner. So for today I am going to present with and enjoy what I am doing without worrying if everything I want to do gets done. Tomorrow is another day with new opportunities.

A quest for inner peace will last a  lifetime. 

Tarot spread: Vasalisa the Wise

This week on Instagram I came across a  lovely little three card spread, created by Joanna from @thebookishfox  and based on the story of Vasalisa the Wise (the Frog princess) a Russian fairy tale. A common theme in the stories about Vasalisa and Baba Yaga is the importance of trusting your intuition

These are the three questions this spread will try to answer.

1. What shadow needs exposing in my life?

2. What has the Wild Hag got to teach me?

3. How can I connect more deeply with my intuition?

I was very intrigued by this spread, so I picked up my Vision Quest Tarot and gave it a try  for myself:

1 Hermit – Since this card is in the shadow position, I’ve interpreted it as a challenging card. In this spread it warns me of the danger of isolation and self absorption. It is so tempting to hide from the world and to use the need for seclusion as a way to disconnect from life itself. The Hermit in this depiction is hiding his face from the outside world, afraid to show who he really is. The bear in the background is walking away from him and so gradually the inner strength of the Hermit is fading away and little by little both fear and insecurity will take its place.

2 Ace of Fire – From a moonlit night to the exuberance of a sun drenched day. The Ace of Fire in the advice position feels like a spiritual wake-up call. This card represents the creative drive and the desire to broaden our horizon. It is the essence, the spark of life itself. So be brave enough to live life as it presents itself to you day by day and try to find opportunities to experience sheer bliss!

3 Ten of Water – today, for me, the Ten of Water stands for the practice of gratitude for the abundance in our life. Not so much about the stuff we have but  more about what we experience. Love and happiness are flowing, like a myriad of cascades into the lake, into our life. We only have to be  willing to receive and be grateful for what comes to us.  This attitude will help me to be more present and receptive for the beauty of life and to be more open to the messages of my intuition.

Chaos – Trying to find a way out

When letting go by ourselves (see yesterday's post) is too difficult life has a way to assist us....

Today’s card is Chaos, aka The Tower, from the Vision Quest Tarot. We see a horse rearing up in a burning forest. He is clearly frightened and he is feels trapped.. There is now way to escape  because the fire and the smoke are surrounding him. The only thing to do is trying to stay calm and hide away from the wind. Eventually the fire will make way for greener pastures. The question is how do we get to that point since we are clearly not having a great day.

And I pulled the Spirit Guide. (Judgement) To be honest I don’t have a lot of experience with spirit guides or spirit animals. I would love to meet one someday but for now it’s just me and my intuition or my higher self. Listening to the soft inner voice is hard. Taking the time and becoming quiet enough be able to hear the voice is sometimes even harder; we are often in such a hurry. This card encourages us to notice the little miracles in our life; the “road signs” along the way. So not only listening but noticing small details too. Mmmm, that is starting to sound a lot like living in the present moment and being mindful of how we experience life on a daily base.

Maybe if we would have been more mindful to begin with, we could have prevented the forest fire? Or do we welcome Chaos to help us to clear old and dead wood?

Four of Fire - the art of letting go

When I asked this morning what could help me to approach life with a more positive attitude, I got the Four of Fire from the Vision Quest Tarot. We see four sage  bundles clearing the air of stagnant energy with their healing and cleansing scent. This in order to make room for something wonderful and new.

The Four of Fire is all about celebrating and letting go what we have accomplished and completed. Only after we have consciously gone through this process, there will be room for new adventures and projects. It can be so tempting to compare today’s gifts with what has been and to cling to expectations for today. This is often caused by stagnant and limiting ideas and feelings Today is new day so let’s be grateful for its opportunities.

Maybe it could be helpful to revisit our day before we go to sleep and give it all, the good and the bad to God(dess) so we can wake up fresh in morning without guilt or regret and start the new day with a clear mind and an open heart.

Mother of Fire - Tending the Heart(h) Fire

Today’s card is Mother of Fire from the Vision Quest Tarot. She is related to the Queen of Wands but I feel she is much easier to approach than her royal niece. She looks up from her scared task; the tending of the hearth, the center of her abode. And just as she feeds the hearth fire with pieces of dry wood, she also loves to feed our heart with passion and courage.

As an adult mature woman she has already gathered  a lot of life experiences and she wants to share her wisdom with everybody who sits down by her fire. She has so many stories to tell and she wants to inspires us to live our life passionately and filled with joy.

I feel a bit sorry for her because as a mother myself, I try to share my wisdom with my girls, but more often than not they want to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes. 

So Mother of Fire teaches me today to share my stories and inspire my girls and everybody else who visits my Hearth but also that most of the time giving advice, when it is not asked for, is a waste of effort and time

Affirmation: Today I will warm myself by the fire of my hearth and the fire of my heart and I will chose to do the things  that will bring me joy so I can share this joy with my loved ones.