Today’s Card is the Nine of Wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. The same card as I pulled yesterday. The Nine of Wands is for me about wanting more, doing more, doing better. A card of burning desires and the sometimes not so pleasant aftermath.
We often take on more than we can manage. And only after we're burned out, we ask ourselves how could this possibly happen to me. Perhaps we don’t know our boundaries as well as we should have and so we let others and ourselves trample them without noticing until it is too late.
I’ve been in this position several times. But I have also experienced that whenever this has happened to me I always rise up again, stronger, wiser (I hope) and determined never to let something like this happen to me again.
So I wondered why this card is showing up again today and I pulled the Five of Swords. Not only is a burn-out caused by taking to on much responsibilities in the physical world. It is often accompanied by negative thought patterns such as lack of self-worth, self-love en so on. These mental attackers want to lure you into a battle, which they know you can’t win. It will only wear you out more until only chaos and exhaustion will remain. Maybe it is better to acknowledge our thoughts and see them as such: just thoughts and nothing more.
We have to ask ourselves whether these thoughts and feelings are true and if they're not, I promise they will go away.
Then we will rise up from our ashes and become a little more akin to the person we want to be.
For me, this means I have to sit with these returning thoughts of not being good enough again and learn to recognize them once and for all as tricksters of the mind.