Yesterday I've celebrated the new moon. After visualizing my circle, I chanted to Durga and Lakshmi. After that, I sat down to meditate for a while, trying to focus only on my breath, which is still so difficult. I wish I could turn down the volume of my inner chatter.
As usual I drew two cards from my Osho Zen Tarot. Both of them are mainly blue and both of them depict two dolphins. At first I didn't understand the Release card, Ten of Water (Ten of Cups), and it really puzzled me until M. gave me her point a view.
|Osho Zen Tarot|
Release: Ten of Water – Harmony
Why should anyone want to release such a beautiful state of mind. This is what the guidebook says:
"The experience of resting in the heart in meditation is not something that can be grasped or forced. It comes naturally, as we grow more and more in tune with the rhythms of our own inner silences. The figure on this card reflects the sweetness and delicacy of this experience. The dolphins that emerge from the heart and make an arc towards the third eye reflect the playfulness and intelligence that comes when we are able to connect with the heart and move into the world from there.”
I thought perhaps this card is telling me to let go of trying too hard to be successful in meditating and in bringing that state of mind into my daily life. But M said and with it she worded my first reaction to this card, it was more about letting go of trying to keep everybody happy without listening to my own needs (or inner voice J) Perhaps both options were equally valid but I feel the last is more urgent to let go.
Embrace: Inner Voice
The second card is more clear to me. It is the equivalent of the High Priestess in other Tarot decks which is all about intuition, the unconscious and wisdom.
"The Inner Voice speaks not in words but in the wordless language of the heart. It is like an oracle who only speaks the truth. If it had a face, it would be like the face at the center of this card--alert, watchful, and able to accept both the dark and the light, symbolized by the two hands holding the crystal. The Inner Voice can also be playful, as it dives deep into the emotions and emerges again to soar towards the sky, like two dolphins dancing in the waters of life."
My inner voice has been ignored too often and for too long. Even when reading my own cards, M had to confirm my first intuitive interpretation (which wasn't all by the book), was right for me that day. I appear to be more confident than I really am. Listening to my inner voice is something I will be glad to focus on for the coming lunar period. It seems so easy but I think the most difficult part is when you are finally able to hear that soft voice within, is to acknowledge what it is telling you. It might be a truth you don’t want to hear….
“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want” Lao Tzu