Ten of Swords - It can’t get any worse than this.

Today”s question from Willowseast to draw a card with is: "How can I move forward when I feel stuck?" 

I pulled the Ten of Swords from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. It can’t get anymore stuck than this. The figure in this card is pinned down by ten swords and he isn’t likely to go anywhere soon. Since Swords are all about the mind, we can be certain this guy is overwhelmed by his self defeating thoughts and a tremendous amount of anxiety. Nothing is more paralyzing than anxious thoughts racing around in our mind. But the end of his suffering is near. Because he has turned his head towards rising the morning sun in the east: The promise of new day. We don’t have to try to pull these swords out, for  that is literally impossible. By our twisting and turning they would only sink deeper and hurt us more. No the solution is so simple. Focus your mind on the rising sun and the swords will disappear. Breath in and out and then slowly get up and start walking. With every step your wounds will heal and with every breath you will ease you mind a bit more...

Moving from Summer to Fall with The Sun in my heart

By know, I suppose you all know I am not fan of Summer. In the beginning of this week it looked like Summer was finally over. Temperatures had dropped quite significantly and it was pouring all day long. Love it!! Drinking coffee, knitting socks and listening to the falling rain… I don’t need much to make me happy.

But nothing is as unpredictable than the weather and since Wednesday it is sweltering hot again. And so I asked how to overcome my disappointment about this and I pulled three cards:

1 How does this weather make me feel? – Ten of Swords.

Now that is exactly how I feel: defeated, self pitying , complaining about how hot it is, not being able to do anything physically active, depressed, you name it, I feel it.  I want to stop this so badly because it is preventing me from enjoying my day. So let’s see what I can look forward to, which might cheer me up a bit

2 What will Autumn bring me? – The Ace of Cups

And that I exactly how I feel about Autumn! An abundance of feelings of happiness, gratitude and Love is flowing from this beautiful Cup. Autumn is indeed a gift from God(dess), a time to enjoy the bounty of the harvest.

3 How do I move forward until the wheel turns to my favorite season? – The Sun

O my Goodness! There he is: the Sun, blistering hot but with a smile on his face. “Come outside and play” he seems to call to me. The Sun stands for joy, happiness and a for zest for life. I could use some of that for sure. So I think I have to stand up, get rid of those swords in my back and walk towards the rising sun in the Ten of Swords. No more complaining today. I want to finish this blogpost and that will be the beginning of a joyful day because I choose it to be so. 

Afraid in the dark spread – Be brave

For my daily draw, I am doing a two card spread. I hope it will clarify some doubts I have about my healing process. I feel there is still a lot of anxiety blocking me from going forward. I will use my runes for the first position and the Wild Unknown Tarot for the second one

The spread is called: “Afraid in the dark spread”.  I've found it somewhere on the internet a long time ago:

1 What am I afraid of? – Mannaz - self

A well-known self confidence issue I guess. When do I stop apologizing for being me? When do I start believing in the wonderful me that  I am. And when do I stop hiding this woman for the rest of the world. It is so hard to live an authentic life. To embrace both the light and the dark aspects of myself. I don’t have to be perfect;  I just have to be brave enough to be me

2 What will turn the light on - Ten of Swords

Well this is definitely not the card I wished for. I would have preferred something like the Ace of Cups. But fate has decided otherwise. Ten swords are sticking in this massive bull. The last sword has even blinded him. This is a low as a person can go: Beaten down by his outdated and ridged thought patterns and fears. Before we can move on, our stubborn like a bull of an ego has to hit rock bottom and has to let go of everything he believed in including his melodramatic stories of “poor me”.

Today is new day and we can build up our Self, our Mannaz, one step at the time, filling it with confidence and inner strength: with ideas  and stories  which will empower instead of crush us.

So in the end this card was a appropriate gift for today. A gift which heralds change and a bright future ( look how the upper half of this card is more bright than the lower half)

(NB. Rereading this post and my previous one, it seems that the issue of self confidence  is a reoccurring theme in my daily draws)

Dreamer Ten - Desolation

Today’s card is Dreamer Ten (Ten of Swords) from the Tarot of the Sidhe. This is a very dreadful card: We see a sword, which pierces the sun and causing it to bleed heavily, a gushing stream of blood which floods everything in its way. People are drowning in blood and trees are falling from the hills: Everything is dying. The two eyes in the hills are red like blood. The only thing positive to this card is the yellow light of the sun.

Although a scary and depressing card, it is a very apt one for me. As is the case often, I am inclined to over think the unthinkable. So is my spirituality (as many of you probably will know)  a perpetual dance between doubt and knowing, finding and searching, intuition and thinking. After a reasonable time of inner balance, the thinking part is getting too loud and is pressing too much for attention. This is awaking my doubts and thus disturbing the balance. My primary instinct is more thinking, more reading, searching for more information. But this only causes doubt and insecurity to grow stronger. This card is telling me to let go of all my thoughts and convictions, of  trying to puzzle everything  in a neat structure. When I can manage to do so, the sun will come out again and will warm and illuminate my heart where God(dess) can be found.

So all must bleed and melt away

Before the dawning of the day

The tree must fall in land forlorn

This dream must die to be reborn

(E. Carding)

Give your head permission to follow your heart

Today I've found my way back again to my tarot cards and I've drawn The Ten of Swords from the Original Rider Waite tarot. This card is all about the defeat of the tyranny of our mind. This man has been stabbed in the back with ten swords which are representing his thoughts. Thoughts, he wasn't able to let go off: old rigid beliefs can cause unwillingness and fear to change.  Sometimes you cannot solve a problem with your mental abilities. When you come to this realization and you are willing to be more flexible you will see the sun rise in the East shining its light over you: And then there is Silence. But after that you may wonder, what do I have to change; how do I  approach life differently? 

And then I pulled the Knight of Cups, who’s dreams are his treasures. 

He is coming along for the second time this month to share his wisdom, which is plain and simple: follow your heart.

Don’t lose sight of your heart’s desire; keep your cup in front of you and follow it. As simple as it may sound we all know this is quite a challenge and it is asking a lot of our creativity and imagination

We do have to be careful not to lose ourselves in the emotional and dreamy state of mind of the Knight of Cups. Again some need for balance is advisable. Maybe he has a sheathed sword on his left hand side??? We’ll never know. But I do hope he is brave enough to cross the river so we can move forward.

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” Buddha

Don’t overburden yourself when you leave the Ten of Scrolls behind

Look at this poor kitty behind his paper bars. He is so pathetic. This is the Ten of Scrolls (swords) from the Chrysalis Tarot. It looks like the tiger has been sitting there for a long time and has forgotten all about his own inner strength. He is defeated and held captive by his ongoing crippling thoughts. In the upper corner a butterfly it symbolizing his option for change much like the sunrise in the Rider Waite version of this card. The tiger is finally about to access his fiery passionate nature and to break free at last. But then what?

I pulled the Ten of Spirals (Wands). Here we see the overburdened centaur carrying his heavy load. He is standing at the crossroads, not sure which way  to go. When you break free from a difficult situation, you are still much the same person inclined to repeat the same cycle again. 

The Centaur in the Ten of Spirals is advising us to leave some of our past regrets and quilt etc. behind at the crossroads and to choose the highroad. “Don’t play the blame game. Put the past behind you and don’t look back”

This reminds me of my theme of this lunation: release. How freeing it can be to leave excess weight behind. I wonder why this is so difficult. Are we so defined by our sad stories. Are we afraid of writing new ones, being unsure about the ending or perhaps afraid for our own greatness…

“Every morning is a new beginning. A new chance for you to rewrite the story of your life.” Tina Su

Ten of Swords - Sometimes I get so angry.

"This has to end! This has to stop right now!" The screams of the Morrigan  resound in my mind when I look at this Ten of Swords from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. I can so relate to this feeling of inner rage. Always being kind, nice, friendly and polite does that to a person. 

A few days ago I had a serious fight with M (we 're all good now J) It did release a lot of stress and just half hour after this outburst we were able to communicate and sort out our differences in good harmony.

Yesterday I had visited my husband and as usual that caused me some anxiety and stress.That's why I had planned to do something relaxing for myself afterwards. Only a "friend" called me the minute after I came home, again  with some self-inflicted problem, which blew my fuses.  I kept calm and friendly but after our conversation., I had to free one single scream of deep felt irritation. On slash of this sword and there was silence in my mind and a sigh of relief. This Ten of Swords is a culmination of terror and anger and at the same time the end of it all. So for me it was a most welcome card to explore 

Affirmation: Today I am going to speak my mind instead of fueling my rage.

“I was raised in a family where none of us ever raised a voice, so there was no room to express feelings of rage or even unabashed joy - a little bashed joy, here or there, or being mildly disgruntled.” Anne Lamott

Combining Tarot and Lenormand in one reading

Inspired by Chloe and Siddaleah  I've been practicing again with my Lenormand cards for several days now. And I have to say it hasn't been easy. There has been times the cards only spoke jibber jabber to me and I felt like throwing them into the trash can. Could it be possible I'm not cut out  for this? Since I am a stubborn woman (Taurus) I didn't want to be defeated by 36 pieces of cardboard so I kept practicing.

And gradually the fog was lifting and the cards started to make sense to me again. It was helpful for me me not to search for generic meanings but to ask a question first. Was it about love, money or health? But how many questions can you come up with while practicing on  your own. So I included my tarot cards in the reading. I picked a tarot card which would be the topic of my reading and then I drew a line of three lennies about this topic.

The topic for this reading was the Ten of Swords from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot : How can I let go of all my self defeating thoughts and move on?

Then I pulled three cards from the Gilded Reverie Lenormand (both decks are by Ciro Marchetti):

7 Snake +15 Bear + 5 Tree

Biting thoughts (suspicions and self loathing) can be conquered by confidence and inner strength which will improve your physical (health) and mental (wisdom) well being.

I liked how the bear was swimming away from the snake and towards the tree; moving on from one situation to another.

Building confidence is certainly helpful for me while practicing with these cards. Whining about how I will never, ever be able to read them won't help me to improve my skills.J

Practicing like this is so much fun and very encouraging for my confidence in reading the Lenormand.

My First Impressions of The Joie de Vivre Tarot

Yesterday I've received The Joie de Vivre Tarot By Paulina Cassidy in the mail. I've ordered it two weeks ago at Book Depository. And to be honest is was a kind of an emotional purchase. Although I am celebrating my birthday in about three weeks and I am promised some tarot presents, I really needed  to treat myself on a light, friendly and uplifting deck.

A deck which will comfort you. A deck which will tell you the truth but in a gentle and kind way. A deck which will emphasize the positive side of a situation. Even the most dreadful cards are friendly and they speak more to your compassion than to your fears.

For instance the figure in the two of words is being  held by birds and the girl who is falling from the tower is held by butterflies

It had to be also a deck which would distract my mind form worrying. So there had to be enough symbolism in de pictures to keep my mind busy. Look how many symbols there are for instance in The Wheel: the zodiac, the moon cycles, the four trees on his head, the lemniscate on his jacket. In every card there are little treasures to be found.

And that’s when I knew it had to be the Joie de Vivre Tarot:

“French for 'joy of living', the Joie de Vivre is designed to access the childlike energy in each one of us to help stimulate, enhance, and inspire joy in our own lives. A truly fantastical people, the living beings in the Joie de Vivre realm are all sentient souls of love who want nothing but the best for those who take a journey through their world. An amplifier of intuition and a connection to the divine source, they hope the Joie de Vivre deck will help awaken a response from deep within your heart, mind, and spirit.”

It is the second tarot deck by Paulina Cassidy. I don’t own her first deck: the Paulina Tarot, because the artwork was too detailed for me. In the Joie de Vivre tarot the pictures are less crowded but still they contain a lot of little adorable details and symbols. The pictures were done in watercolors and ink. The colors are soft and transparent. The backgrounds are often just made  with a color wash and some swirls which is a good contrast to the detailed figures. The cardstock is average and the finish is glossy and smooth. The colors are much more vibrant than I had expected and they are absolutely beautiful.

One more thing about the LWB. Paulina has written a tiny little story about each character in her pictures and she has even named them. This makes this little booklet a very surprising addition to the deck

AL together it will be rather obvious I totally adore this deck.  And I haven’t even started reading with it. I do have already begun to knit a bag because the little tuckbox didn't survive the long journey overseas. 

A Rebirth tarot Spread for Ostara

I’ve found an amazing small tarot spread for this Holiday on Chloe’s blog “InnerWhispers”.There you can read how she was inspired by the Rebirth card from the Druidcraft Tarot to create this spread.  I love three card spreads because I like my spreads to be small and concise. I love to be able to see in one glance what the cards are telling me.

The questions for the Rebirth spread are:

1 What darkness am I leaving behind?
2 What new hope is approaching?
3 What can help me find my bearings at this time?

For this spread I've used my brand new Original Rider Waite Tarot for the first time. I was so happy to finally find the time to work with it. Al the gardening and shopping for flowers and plants and fertilizer has taken up a lot of my time and energy. So here are the cards I’ve drawn for this spread:

The Original Rider Waite Tarot

1 What darkness am I leaving behind? – Ten of Swords

Well I don’t think it can’t get any clearer than this. I am leaving behind the darkness of my despair and anxiety, which has been trying to take root these last few weeks. But dawn is slowly breaking, so there is hope; there is always hope.

2 What new hope is approaching? – Four of Pentacles

This was quite a confusing card but I can read it as my growing awareness of letting go of material desires to ease and numb my pain. These kind of “treats and presents” don’t sustain or heal me but rather they encourage my cravings for more.

3 What can help me find my bearings at this time? – The Fool

The Fool couldn't be a better guide for my rebirth in this season.  I love the way the dawn in the Ten of Swords has changed in a bright new day. The energy of this card is fresh, careless, free and  a bit naive. I can hardly remember when I have felt like that: without worries or fear. Perhaps when I was a lot younger and the world was at my feet. Life could be so much more adventurous and fun if I would let The Fool take me by the hand and let him walk with me step by step; moment by moment

Interview with the Wildwood Tarot

Never before have I done a deck interview spread with a new tarot deck. But yesterday, with this deck it felt like it was the appropriate thing to do. In that way we would get formally introduced to each other. Although I know it’s just a pack of 78 cards, it feels like there´s an old energy  surrounding this deck. It’s making me a little bit hesitant to approach it; to work with it. I’m not that overly sensitive, so this is rather new for me and I am wondering: who am I kidding? That’s why I decided to do the deck interview. I've mixed up some the other interview spreads that I've found online. These are the questions for my deck and the cards that I've drawn:

Wildwood Tarot deck  interview

1.       Who are you?

The Wheel -  I am the loom of the Wildwood and I will teach you how to weave

2.       What is your most important characteristic?

Eight of arrows -  I have enough courage and dedication to keep going even when our thoughts  collide and dilemma’s arise. I will keep my torch burning hoping for better times.

3.       What are you going to teach me?

The Gardian - I will show you how to face your fears and how to enter the dark caverns of your mind.

4.       what can I give you in return?

Ten of arrows -  Respect and reverence and an open communication

5.       What are your strengths as a deck?

Knight of bows – fox – I am determined, dynamic and clever, and where necessary innovating.

6.       What will our relationship be like?

Four of vessels – beware of boredom and disenchantment after the first rush of infatuation . We’ll strive to keep things fresh and alive and search for new challenges.

7.       Is there anything else you would like to tell me about yourself?

Queen of vessels – My child I will guide you with love through the Wildwood and I’ll ask you to dedicate yourself with an honest and open mind to our journey together

This was a very deep experience. I just sat at my table watching my cards and felt really connected to whatever it was I felt. For some cards I had to look up additional information in the guide book but the overall message was very clear… I had to laugh about the gift of respect this deck wants from me. I was right about that J

Also the Fox of bows has given an unexpected touch to this reading. “Innovating and clever” wasn't what I had in mind for this deck. It has added an unknown spark of wit to it.

This reading has been very helpful to get the edge of our first real encounter and we’ll see where we’ll go from here.

This too shall pass

30 September: Everything changes in nature. Every day the world looks different. In what way do I cope with change? 

Anna K Tarot

Well that figures. Today’s card is the ten of swords from the Rider waite!( I've deliberately chosen the picture of the Anna K tarot because that one emphasizes that you can get up again)

It is easy to answer this one: I don't cope well with change. I've had some major changes in my life and the last one was the most traumatic and I didn't cope well. It has cost me several years to finally get a grip on my life again and to learn to accept life as it is. Looking back it was the most intense painful period of my life, but this experience has changed me incredible. I've learned to shed my victimizing thoughts, bit by bit. And it can be life changing to replace them with empowering ones. That brings me to my solution on how to cope with change. you have to change with it. It’s like the strength of bamboo that waves in the wind and thus does not break. Nothing and nobody ever stays the same. Having that said doesn't mean I am able to do that every time when change comes by. A little wavy change I can manage. I think we all can. It’s those dreadful storms that can blast the feet from under us. And that can shake us to the core. We tend to put our heels in the sand and stiffen up inside and out. A deep NO! rumbles in our guts. That’s just life. But whenever I’m hit again by my  crumbling thoughts in my back I know in the end I can get up again.

Happily I am in calmer waters now. But I know change is on its way. I only can hope I'm better equipped than the last time.

“This too shall pass”  is a saying I've read somewhere and is really speaking to me

Friday the thirteenth

Hanson Roberts Tarot

After reading this blogpost from Siddaleah I wondered: Is it wise to draw a card from your tarot deck on Friday the thirteenth.  

Just like Siddaleah I use tarot mostly for self-development and not for fortunetelling. My idea is that fortunetelling can create fear and anxiety. For me reading tarot is a balance between using book knowledge and your own intuition. It’s my opinion that intuition and fear don’t go hand in hand.

Then why do I feel hesitated to draw a card on Friday the thirteenth; metaphorically speaking.  Sometimes there are situations so pressing, so important, that I hesitate to draw the cards for advice. I think afraid that those dreadful cards that everybody knows will come up. Mostly I do a spread afterwards, for insight in how I have handled things.

I wonder what you think about this; do you believe in Friday 13^th ?