Today’s card is Dreamer Ten (Ten of Swords)
from the Tarot of the Sidhe. This is a very dreadful card: We see a sword, which pierces
the sun and causing it to bleed heavily, a gushing stream of blood which
floods everything in its way. People are drowning in blood and trees are
falling from the hills: Everything is dying. The two eyes in the hills are red
like blood. The only thing positive to this card is the yellow light of the
sun.
Although a
scary and depressing card, it is a very apt one for me. As is the case often, I
am inclined to over think the unthinkable. So is my spirituality (as many of
you probably will know) a perpetual dance between doubt and knowing, finding
and searching, intuition and thinking. After a reasonable time of inner
balance, the thinking part is getting too loud and is pressing too much for attention. This is awaking my
doubts and thus disturbing the balance. My primary instinct is more thinking,
more reading, searching for more information. But this only causes doubt and
insecurity to grow stronger. This card is telling me to let go of all my
thoughts and convictions, of trying to
puzzle everything in a neat structure. When I can manage to do so, the sun will come out
again and will warm and illuminate my heart where God(dess) can be found.
So all must
bleed and melt away
Before the
dawning of the day
The tree
must fall in land forlorn
This dream
must die to be reborn
(E. Carding)
I've never bought any of Emily's deck, I look forward to seeing a few more cards.
ReplyDeleteAnd searching and thinking is far more important than accepting wholesale someone else's hidebound idea of spirit and living and not thinking at all.
I know it is, but sometimes I wish the thinking and doubting would settle down for a while :)
DeleteI think the doubts and questions are part of the process. I used to feel like I was moving in a circle, winding up where I started from spiritually. But now I think I am actually moving in a spiral; I might be back in the same area, but now I see with depth and more understanding. I imagine I'll keep doing this for the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteYes I do see the difference between circling and spiraling. May be I get a bit dizzy from spiraling so fast. Like I've said to Sharyn, some peace of mind about this for a longer period would be ever so welcome
DeleteI like that the golden part of the sun takes up a good third of the image. I feel that if the momentum of spiralling can be stilled for just a moment to look up, then the angst may subside....for a while at least! This card has more movement than many 10 of Swords' - where, for instance the RWS and co have someone lying still, possibly depicting that one can go no further, this one has so much force. I'd find it harder to find peace in this one :-)
ReplyDeleteWith the RW version there is the need to let go of all you swords in order to move on . This card causes more a swim or drown sort of feeling
DeleteMaybe going with the flow is a better solution: floating on your back while facing the sun....
Strange but my immediate reaction to the card was not negative, until I read your description of it. It then, yes, sounded ghastly!
ReplyDeleteOur lizard brains always seem to be in conflict with our rational brain. I know there was a jumping off point where there is a leap of faith, that helps me to get step off that merry-go-round. I had to let go of my rational brain when it came to my faith. My rational brain really does get in my way sometimes. At the same time being rational human beings we are meant to question and doubt. Blind faith without doubt is unhealthy and unwise.
I sure relate to what you say Ellen, about ' over thinking the unthinkable. '
Your post reminds me of something my Al-Anon sponsor once said to me. " The longest journey is the one from the head to the heart. "
I love that quote Catherine! and I will jot it down in my new notebook
DeleteI guess this it all about finding balance between thinking and trusting the unthinkable. It seems this will be one of my ongoing life lessons :)
Hugs
I can relate to your wondering, doubting, searching for information, etc. It seems so sensible but at times it gets in the way of allowing ourselves to be open to and led by feeling. It can be hard to trust. But I think it's a natural process, and one that develops in its own time and manner. I hope you're not too hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteThank you Olivia I will keep mind to be gentle with myself. I know it is a natural process but it can be so exhausting. Just when you think you've found a balance it is gone
DeleteTrusting: maybe it is a good idea to put the Wanderer on my altar again :)
With this card, as with so many Ten of Swords images, I notice the sense of overkill, or exaggeration. Everything is incredibly terrible, the very sun is bleeding and dying. To me, this is a reminder that things are rarely as bad as we perceive them, that it is our thoughts and ideas that make things seem so dreadful. A reminder that if we can still our mind, come back to the flow of breath in our body, open our eyes to the world beyond our thoughts, then we can find a seed of joy in the world again! :)
ReplyDelete"open our eyes to the world beyond our thoughts"
ReplyDeleteThat is so true!
You are indeed a wise woman, my friend :)
I don't know this deck - this is quite a startling image, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking entirely personally I feel that the doubting and questioning are all part of the Path we are on, and I've found in the past that these times often precede a moment of understanding, a moving forward. Going out into Nature is often an antidote - getting out of your Head and back into your Heart!
Thanks for continuing to share your Journey with us!
Halcyonx
"Going out into Nature is often an antidote"
DeleteThank you for reminding me Halcyon! I'm not doing this often enough. I guess I miss the routine of walking Tara.
So now I have to remember to take my self for walks or bike rides more often