Saturday, October 10, 2015

Time to leave my Tower

For today I wanted to share again a part of the IG Shadow Work challenge with you. This day the question for our daily draw was:

Devil – What do I need to let go of?
For me The Devil is all about illusions, so with that in mind I shuffled my cards and drew the Four of Wands. While shuffling, another card jumped out of the deck, so I decided to pay attention to this one too. It was the Four of Cups. Now I had two fours to work with. Four is the number of Stability and Security but two times four feels more like stagnation and being stuck in the mud.
The four of wands urges me to let go of my futile attempts to keep resembling a nice and quiet conventional family in a house with a white picket fence. I thought I had had it all once but all too soon I discovered that life isn’t about experiencing the suburban bliss but more about how to cope with the many challenges life offers you and how to cherish the moments of breathing in and out in between.
Besides the need of letting go of this illusion it is also important for me to let go of my feelings of discontent with my life as it is right now. Clinging to this illusion and the sadness over my major loss makes it very hard for me to really move forward.
Today, eleven years ago, my dream of always and forever was shattered to pieces. Maybe it is time I try to pick up some to the shards to make room for new dreams. In order to do this it is necessary I leave my tower but before that I have to fill up my Cups with lots of love and gentle compassion for myself because it is so scary….. 

10 comments:

  1. Those feelings of discontent and restlessness are bugabears. I often find myself there when my outer world doesn't fit my expectations. Yet really the source of dissatisfaction lies within me, not outside myself.

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    1. Yes is all about our way of thinking and clinging on the stories we tell ourselves, It is time to rewrite mine an become heroine of my own story. :)

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  2. This is a beautiful - if difficult - reflection. It's so fitting that this major life event of yours shares an anniversary with this aspect of our challenge. You have a wide community of people who care about you and support you as you leave your Tower :)

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    1. Thank you Olivia! I think I needed it to share this here today with my friends. And I am so glad you are one of them :)
      Hugs

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  3. I really love this deck and these cards. This is a touching post.

    I wanted to share this with you Ellen. I found it online on an AA site I belong to.

    " Life is amazing. And then it's awful again. And then between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heart breaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful. " - L.R. Knost

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this here Catherine! Life is indeed beautiful with all it ups and downs. And I am still standing even a bit stronger than yesterday. :)

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    2. Oh my, that quote made me tear up, Catherine! Thank you for sharing it :)

      As for your reading, Ellen, I'm struck by how often it's our ideas about what life should be like that get in the way of accepting and living what is. And how long it can take us to come to terms with the Tower experiences of our lives. Sending you loving strength! Hugs, Cxx

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    3. Thanks Chloe. Sharing it has helped me a lot and I do feel a lot better already.

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  4. Reading this post, Ellen, I wanted to wrap my arms around you. And your heart tells all your readers that you're already the heroine of your own story, it's a matter of bringing that to conscious awareness which we can only do bit by bit and which you're doing so courageously. Blessings on your ongoing journey, my dear.

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    1. Your comment brought tears in my eyes Rose. I think I needed to hear this very much.
      Thanks you so much and hugs to you my friend

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