Saturday, October 17, 2015

Love can’t be measured on a scale.

Today’s question for Shadow Work October by Mnomquah on IG was:

Intimacy: How can you strengthen your bond with your loved ones.

For this question I’ve used the Rider Waite Tarot. After having worked with The “darker” decks for a while, for now it feels more comforting to pull from my trusted Rider Waite deck in order to answer these deep and sometimes disturbing questions. So while shuffling my deck to answer the question for today, The Moon jumped out and I pulled the Six of Pentacles myself.

Rider Waite Tarot The Moon Six of Pentacles

The moon is all about fear and uncertainty, about not being in control and about a lack of trust and boundaries. Mmm… this is a very blunt way of telling me that my social and emotional skills definitely are in need some healing and polishing up. It is true I’ve been let down so many times in my life that I do have trust issues and also a fear of commitment and abandonment. So fear seems to be a  strong  component of my relationships, which is not a good thing at all.
The Six of Pentacles is maybe a good start to examine how my relationships could be improved. This is a card about interdependence. We see a rich man give to  the poor with one hand and he is holding scales in his other hand. He distributes his money equally to the beggars. The question here is always: who are you, the beggar or the rich man?
For me the message for this card today is to get rid of the scales and give from the heart. In loving relationships the amount of giving and receiving don’t have to be equal and measured. It is not about the worth or weight of the gifts but it is about the intention of giving and being open and willing to receive. Sometimes receiving is even harder then giving, because sometimes you have nothing to give back in return, but a heartfelt  “thank you” and the relationship feels unbalanced. This doesn’t have to be true at all for the main component of each relationship is Love and Love can never be measured on a scale. 

15 comments:

  1. I think emotional relationships with someone you are "in love" with, for me I have to ask myself how much am I willing to invest into the relationship. If it is more than I am willing to risk loosing then I really have to step away.

    It wasn't always this way and I'd get my heart broken from someone who either couldn't or wouldn't give me what I wanted, or needed.I drove myself doololly! There was a big imbalance. Being an individual with an open sensitive heart you need to eventually find the comfort boundary, and that comes with a lot of practice. I'm not sure if I've got it down yet!. Probably one of the reasons why I still single.

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    1. I am stuck in some kind of limbo as to being "in love"' but if the opportunity would arise again I would follow in your footsteps. I don't want to love "too much "anymore :)

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  2. I'm still learning how to give without expectations as well as receive without them (as in thinking I need to repay someone). But as you said, if I give and receive with wise compassion, I won't have to worry about balancing scales. :)

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    1. I've put my own "wisdom very consciously in to practice this morning and I felt so much more relaxed'. When expectations have to be met you are bound to be dissapointed and this morning I wasn't . :)

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  3. This is a beautiful post, Ellen, heartfelt, authentic and with such insight. Receiving is more difficult for me than giving but perhaps that's the case with a lot of us for various reasons. I love how the Moon asked to be included in your shadow work today :)

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    1. Thank you so much Rose. Yes the Moon card had an important part to play in this post. Sometimes it feels if "Fear" is my middle name :D

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  4. Your selfie on Instagram is BEAUTIFUL!

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  5. I think your point about sharing not necessarily having to be equal is really important. Giving what you can, how you can, from the heart, is what matters. <3

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    1. And then I immediately think it is also important not to give more than you are able to!

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  6. Here's a funny coincidence. I got a fortune cookie today and its message was : Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return

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    1. I love it when things like this happen !!!

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  7. This idea that every gift must be reciprocated is something pretty deep in our psyche. There are some great books about it in the field of anthropology. I believe there must always be an energetic exchange, but a truly heartfelt "thank you" can have a lot of value in that :) Just think, as a mother, how much you give to your children. And generally with a glad heart. But if they throw something back in your face, or take it as though it meant nothing, that still hurts. Gratitude is a gift, whether we practice it in our own life, or receive it from others!

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    1. Motherhood did came up when I wrote this post. I can assure you whenever you expect it the least you will be rewarded for all the energy you have invested in your children
      For me practicing gratitude it one of the main pillars of my spiritual practice but sometimes I just forget to notice how wonderful my life is :)

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