Honestly, I am not feeling it lately. While reading and commenting on the blogs of my online friends, I am lost for words when it comes to writing about the cards I draw myself. And if something comes to mind, it feels empty and shallow. I miss it and it feels a bit lonely….?
So this morning I thought, let’s try it again and I drew the Medicine Man from the Vision Quest Tarot. My first reaction was: “Oh no not this card!. I am in no place to manifest anything!” So I put my deck aside and didn’t give it another thought. But this afternoon I got this pressing feeling to check out the guidebook from the deck and I read:
“The Medicine Man tells you that you already are what you seek. As soon as you turn your attention away from 'wanting to become' to the awareness of 'WHAT IS,' you get a taste of the meaning of this card. Once you focus on 'SIMPLY BEING' and renounce the mind's addiction to complicate everything by thinking about it, a new understanding arises”
And that is exactly the message I needed to hear today. Maybe my intuition didn’t pick up this idea when I looked at the card but it sure did listen to the nudge to read the guidebook. Often when I don’t feel so good I tend to aspire the things that are currently out of reach for me and even feel more poorly because of it:” I want to knit but it is too hot, I want to paint, but I don’t know what, I want a new deck but I don’t know which one.” Yes it all sounds all very whiny doesn’t it but it is what it is for now. So again, trying to be a very upbeat, active and creative person, when I am obviously not right now, isn’t very helpful and criticizing myself for it neither. But accepting who I am today and love and care for myself, will help me move forward step by step.
“Waking up to who you are, requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” - Alan Watts