Honestly, I
am not feeling it lately. While reading and commenting on the blogs of my online friends, I
am lost for words when it comes to writing about the cards I draw myself. And if something comes to mind, it feels
empty and shallow. I miss it and it feels a bit lonely….?
So this morning
I thought, let’s try it again and I drew the Medicine Man from the Vision Quest
Tarot. My first reaction was: “Oh no not this card!. I am in no place to manifest
anything!” So I put my deck aside and didn’t give it another thought. But this
afternoon I got this pressing feeling to check out the guidebook from the deck
and I read:
“The Medicine
Man tells you that you already are what you seek. As soon as you turn your
attention away from 'wanting to become' to the awareness of 'WHAT IS,' you get
a taste of the meaning of this card. Once you focus on 'SIMPLY BEING' and
renounce the mind's addiction to complicate everything by thinking about it, a
new understanding arises”
And that is
exactly the message I needed to hear today. Maybe my intuition didn’t pick up this
idea when I looked at the card but it sure did listen to the nudge to read the
guidebook. Often when I don’t feel so good I tend to aspire the things that are
currently out of reach for me and even feel more poorly because of it:” I want
to knit but it is too hot, I want to paint, but I don’t know what, I want a new
deck but I don’t know which one.” Yes it all sounds all very whiny doesn’t it
but it is what it is for now. So again, trying
to be a very upbeat, active and creative person, when I am obviously not right now, isn’t very helpful and criticizing
myself for it neither. But accepting who I am today and love and care for
myself, will help me move forward step by
step.
“Waking up
to who you are, requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” - Alan Watts
The Vision Quest booklet is a really good one. :) And I'm so happy you thought to read it! Sometimes creating requires a period of gestating first, even though we have the resources and feel the need to dive right in. Great quote by Watts!
ReplyDeleteMaybe I will work with this deck somewhat longer. I just drew the Clown as answer to the question what will come next. So after this gestation period I will be as good as new :)
DeleteWe all get in that whiny place, heck some times I stay there till I almost can't stand myself. That's what is with me and all those walls. When we are stuck it is hard to be objective about most any thing. And the cards all read - blah, blah, blah. Then something shifts and its all good again. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI will Carolyn. Thank you. When you're in a spot like this is difficult to imagine it will change any time soon. But luckily in hindsight it often doesn't take that long to pass.
DeleteWhat a wonderful way of seeing it!
DeletePowerful stuff! There is great freedom is permitting ourselves to be where, who, and what we are in any given moment. Yes, have cake at 10am, and put a little extra butter on the popcorn, and watch four episodes of your favorite show back-to-back. We make ourselves feel bad about things when we enter into that binary zone of should/shouldn't, good/bad, weak/strong, etc. I'm glad you thought to read the guidebook for this one! I do that sometimes too when I'm feeling at a loss. And the message was so good!! Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you friend. Ye,s when we find ourselves in bad weather the only thing we can do is sit it out and make ourselves as comfortable as we can and wait until it stops raining.
DeleteHugs
Funny that so many of us are in this strange "don't know what I want or where I am" place. A great reminder, it's okay to just be, uncertain and unknowing, inactive. Thank you for this beautiful post, Ellen! :)
ReplyDeleteYou'r welcome Chloe. I know your are in a similar place right now and I've heard this from others too. It is hard to realize I can't control this and that I just have to be patient for this to pass.
DeleteHugs
I love when the guidebook has just the right message to give. Even when I get a good idea of the message intuitively, I still enjoy reading what is in a deck's guidebook to see how it compares. I'm happy you have come to such a freeing realization!
ReplyDeleteI've also been in a similar situation recently. I took a very well needed break, which I do not regret, but I am having trouble getting going again. Funnily enough...I got an email yesterday that there is a new 21 Day Meditation Experience starting on the Deepak Chopra website. The theme this time is--Getting Unstuck: Creating a Limitless Life. I'm thinking I'll join in on it. Perfect timing.
DeleteSo am I. it was a very liberating experience to give myself permission to just be for now
DeleteI hope you will get something out if it.
DeletePs don't berate yourself if you can't show up every day. :)
can you use some of your artistic talent to add to carolyn's magic for a better suited employment? re: today's ammended froggy/toad post on my blog? :) quirkeries@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI am going to give it a try of sure!
DeleteThe frogs and toads were so much fun. I enjoyed all of them and you got your paint brush out. Maybe the frogs will help get you unstuck.
DeleteI am so happy to hear this Carolyn! You deserve it
DeleteAnd yes, it was fun to draw him with his big smile :D
Another good post Ellen. The cards always seem to some how some way give us the message we need, if not always what we want.
ReplyDeleteFor sure we all have days, sometimes weeks like this. It's all part of the ebb and flow of life. Some days are diamonds, some stones.
I just came back in from the mailbox. It's so hot here and energy sucking humidity with no wind. I was glad to get back inside. I'm grateful to have a cool house I can retreat to, and don't have to be outside if I don't have to be. Weather can really affect me sometimes.
But I'm not complaining about it. The Winter is too long! I am loving the fact I can get outside if I choose, and look forward to watering my garden later on when it is cooler. I transplanted a Lilac and a Forsythia bush this morning. Neither of them look good right now. But I am hopeful they'll perk up, just like you did! And if not, I'll just have to be patient and try again next Spring!
Ah if only I could water my self like the flowers in the garden.
DeleteI've picked up knitting although it is still warm. Yes Energy sucking weather... Not complaining but waiting anxiously for Autumn :)
Oh boy wouldn't that be great to be able to give ourselves a good watering! Feeling some wilt this morning after a hot humid night. It's going to be even more humid today. I thought I was going to have to look after my neighbours kids today but I can stay home and wilt in the comfort of my own home! ;) I might take a dip in the swimming hole! Ya!
ReplyDelete