Queen of Swords – Me and my journal

Today’s card is the Queen of Swords from the Spirit Within Tarot by Steven Bright. As you all know I identify highly with this queen and I was pleasantly surprised when I saw how Steven has captured her in his deck.

We see a woman sitting at her desk in front of her laptop, scratching her head with a pencil. She is obviously pondering what to write next; how to formulate her words in a way they will describe her feelings and ideas as clearly as possible. It feels so natural to see myself in her place. It is almost as if the silhouettes are inviting us to put ourselves or others in the depictions of the deck.  

I like to journal, almost on a daily basis. It helps me to get my mind in order and to think in a more linear way, which can be a good thing when your mind sometimes resembles a merry go round. Also, I feel that writing things down makes them more real, more tangible. I’ve been journaling since I was ten years old so I can hardly imagine myself without a journal by my side.

And then I was wondering what she was journaling about and I got …the Nine of Pentacles. This is a favorite of mine in any deck. Although I don’t shy away from writing about sad and painful things, I do like to emphasize what is beautiful, magical and delightful in life. Focusing on the sad stuff comes naturally to many of us. It used to be that way for me too. So nowadays I’d like to push myself a bit further and try not to write only about the clouds but even more so about their silver linings. Like the lady in this card, I have so much to be grateful for.

Ace of Air – Being honest with ourselves

This morning M. and I went shopping at a local metaphysical store and she gifted me a gorgeous piece of tumbled Sodalite. This stunning deep blue stone with white calcite veining is a stone of clarity, honesty, and truth. For me, it is a perfect stone to help to express myself more truthfully in my writing. The card I picked to go with this stone today is the Ace of Air from the Vision Quest Tarot. The feather in the depiction reminds me of a quill pen, so it fits wonderfully with my intention for this piece of Sodalite.

Although I am a fervent journaler and creative writer, it is sometimes hard for me to be really genuine and authentic in my writing.  Too often I am inclined to shy away when I touch upon painful subjects or I find myself smoothing over a difficult situation.

Yes, even in my journal, my safe place, my sacred space, I sometimes, mostly unwittingly, wear a mask instead of being true to myself.

I sincerely hope this stone will become a key for me to open the doors to my inner realms, to help me be confident enough to seek for the right words to write down what I find there and to bring me inner peace when I am done.

While writing this I realize it is a great stone for shadow work.

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson

Six of Cups – I remember a time when…..

Today’s card is the Six of Cups from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. We see a woman bathing in the bay. This is where she can connect to her memories in a very soothing way. She feels them floating through her mind, just like the little waves are caressing her body. Some of those memories are kind and precious, some of them feel uncomfortable and sad but she tries to accept each one of them with gentle compassion. Often when something distressful has happened, it is not so easy to take a light-hearted stroll down memory lane again.  Personally I still find it very hard to revisit photo albums from more than a decade ago….

This card reminded me of an exercise I’ve read somewhere online once: 

Shuffle your deck, pull a card and finish the following sentence:

“I remember a time when…………

Whatever memory comes to mind when you look at your card, it's okay. It doesn’t matter if the meaning of the card has nothing to do with your memory.

Often memories are little snippets of a larger story. You can decide if you want to spent some more time there or if you want you can pull the next card. Don’t forget this exercise is supposed to be a pleasant experience. Try to embrace your memories with love and compassion. If a card disturbs you in any way feel free to pick another.

These four cards came up for me this morning:

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Page of Wands: I remember a time when I got my first set of “real” watercolors and how amazed I was by the quality of its beautiful pigments.

Ace of Pentacles. I remember a time when I started my first job as a teacher and how thrilled I was that  I was the one who would teach these little persons how to read in less than a year

Seven of Pentacles: I remember two times when I shared my body with one of my girls. The waiting. The caring and attentive love of my husband. We became parents and I like to think we were good at it

Justice: I remember a time when I thought life wasn’t fair. Why did this have happen to us. But gradually over the years life taught me about balance and how time and new experiences fill the empty places

Maybe you would like to try this for yourself. You can journal about your memories or just sit with them for a while

"We don't remember days, we remember moments." Cesare Pavese

The Courage to take it slow

Today’s card is Courage from the Osho Zen tarot.  A small flower has faced the challenge of the rocks and stones. It has found its way towards the sunlight. And it has become a gorgeous flower in its simplicity: This tiny flower has no need to compare itself to a Rose or an Orchid because it is its own kind of beautiful.

To be kind and gentle for myself on this particularly part of my journey is asking for this kind of courage. The courage and strength to accept and to love myself even if I want to be somewhere else. even if I don’t feel happy and fulfilled, even if I don’t blog regularly or my house isn’t as clean as it should be. It takes courage not to compare myself with other flowers  who seem to be so much more attractive. But hey, they too will wither and die one day…

So today this little flower will help me to embrace every part of me and cherish it for no other reason than because it is a part of me.  Slowly and  carefully  I will guide myself out of the shadows  and into the light because that is where I am meant to be.

Lately I love journaling by hand again about my COTD. No worries about spelling, grammar or if others would understand what I mean etc. Just write word for word what comes to mind and enjoy the process and the little gems which sometimes may appear...

Problem solving with tarot

This morning, when I woke up, I didn't feel that great. I was obsessing about, now please don’t laugh, which journal I would like to use for the coming time. This is an obsession which has been going on for as long as I write in my journals. I go back and forth between several formats and almost never really finish one. Sometimes I write everything in one book, or I use multiple journals; for each subject a different notebook. And don’t get me started about the actual journals I can choose from: ring-bound, spiral bound, hardcover, digital, A4, A5, A6, lined grid, blank…. the possibilities are endless. A typical first world problem or maybe a cover-up for an underlying issue. When I feel this anxious it is very hard to let go of. So instead of obsessing about it even further, I flipped trough my deck and picked a few cards face- up which visualize how I feel.

In short:

When too many choices are available, I get stuck, unable to move, while in my mind the quarrel is constantly going on and without a winner. The only thing I have to do is take of my blindfold get up and receive the gift of choosing one possibility, be content with it and start journaling. This will lead me through the gate towards freedom.

It is so easy. All I have to do is make one decision and release the illusion I have to solve this dilemma for eternity. Just choose for today and be happy with it.

Is it just me, or does any of you have such nagging, not at all crucial, long lasting, dilemma too?

Manifestation – Let your dreams roam free

After having been solely working with tarot for a long time, I've pulled “Manifestation” from the Magical Times Empowerment Cards by Jodie Bergsma.

The message on the cards says: “Your dreams have untold energy. Open the door and let them live. Desire and belief are you power”

This card reminds me of The Magician’s energy: Everything is possible when you set your mind to it; you have the power within to manifest your dreams.

Most of my dreams are tucked away safely beneath a heavy blanket of forgetfulness and suppression. They are keeping quiet for now but I know they are still there and fully alive. It is almost if they are in some kind of hibernation. But now Spring is coming, life is stirring and dreams want to bud just eagerly as bulb flowers beneath the snow. Dreams can be awakened and come to life by the power of desire and belief, symbolized by the Dragon and the Unicorn.

Getting to know my dreams and giving them room to live is one of my main life challenges. In a few days I am starting with a 40 day Dutch journaling challenge with the theme: “Making room in 40 days”.  This is a more contemporary way of fasting.  With all kinds of prompts we are going to figure out what we really need in life; what is nourishing and what is a distraction and temptation from Ego. This way we can create room for more fulfilling things like writing, dreaming, meditation, tarot, art or just doing nothing….

I am really looking forward to it and I am sure making room for my dreams will be one of the subjects I want to write about.

Journaling about The Queen of Scrolls - The Weaver

For today’s daily draw I've pulled the Weaver – The Queen of Scrolls,  aka the Queen of Swords, from the Chrysalis Tarot, my deck for the Solitary Tarot Challenge.

I thought it might be fun to show you how I do my journaling about a daily draw. This is slightly different and less cohesive than writing a blogpost.

First I pour myself  a cup of coffee  and then I start shuffling the deck. I don’t have a particularly way of shuffling. I just shuffle until I think it is enough. One thing though, I tend to smell my deck a few times between the shuffling. I store most of my cards with a small scented pillow or some incense, so smelling the cards makes me feel relaxed and is very comforting.

Then I pull my card and start writing whatever comes to mind:

“Yes! Another Queen!! How I love all my Queens of Swords so much. I can identify with them on such a deep level. And this one is particularly kind and lovely….

Purple is peaceful, conscious, serene and wise. Scrolls stand for idea’s words, stories, knowledge, intelligence, reason

This Queen is a weaver. She weaves her yarn into an image. With her words she weaves stories, parables, lessons, life itself. With her mind she weaves solutions and idea’s, truth and knowledge.

She invites me to come closer and to look at her weave and learn from her. She is waiting to share her wisdom and teach me.

This card radiates a peaceful serenity. Her cat is sleeping; snoring lightly.

The heft is a given fact but with the waft she is creatively filling up the open spaces in between. This way I can solve my problems, take on challenges and process knowledge.

When my basket is filled with all sorts of yarn, my possibilities on this loom are endless.

This idea fills me with peace and strengthens my confidence” 

These lose scribbles are  straight from my journal (except just a few more personal ones). It is not much but enough for a daily draw. After jotting down my notes I read the corresponding chapter from the LWB for additional explanations and interpretations.

I sincerely hope this way I can keep up with the challenge, which I am enjoying so very much.