Queen of Wands - To blog or not to blog

The question whether to keep blogging has been on my mind quite a lot. On one hand, I really miss writing about tarot and the connection with my online friends but on the other hand, I keep asking myself why would I want to continue. I have been posting tarot pictures on IG very regularly and that felt as it was enough for me. One thing I am sure of is that this tiny spot on the World Wide Web is still so very dear to me and I don't want it to fade away with so many other inactive blogs.
But truthfully, sometimes I feel as if I have said it all. What possible more could I write about a card....
And then I pulled the Queen of Wands from the Thoth Tarot, which has become an absolute favorite deck of mine. What stands out today are the black spots on her leopard which symbolize the remnants of her past. The story goes she was once a dark haired Queen with a black panther who has transformed into the Queen she is today. But she still carries the scars of all the hurt and suffering she has been through.
The challenge of this Queen is to share her story with others and by doing so to reaffirm time and again what she has learned. so it will be ingrained in her most inner being.
Repetition isn't a bad thing. Originality is overrated. It is the mere act of writing and sharing what counts.
So I sincerely hope this post will inspire me to write the next one....

Full Moon in April

For this full moon I have pulled three cards from my Original Rider Waite Tarot. Even though I have so many other beautiful decks, I seem to be in totally love with this deck all over again. Of course it has been my one of my favorite tarot decks all along but nowadays I read with no other deck than this one. Maybe it is only a springtime infatuation but I will enjoy it while it lasts.

I have asked my deck three questions:

What is crystal clear? Two of Wands – It is time to pick a Wand, to make a choice. Don’t feel pressured to go for the easy option. The options are many. The world is in the palm of our hands. So maybe it is also time to leave my comfort zone.

What am I grateful for? Queen of Wands – although it doesn’t  always show, I know that beneath my fear of failure and my insecurity lives a passionate and creative woman who is eager to get up from her throne and is ready for some action.

What do I need to let go of when the moon starts to wane? Nine of Pentacles – This is one of my favorite cards in the deck. And just like with The Hermit, I am too much attached to this secluded inward energy. But  there is no need to break down the wall. Perhaps I will look for the gate of her garden so I can (again) leave my comfort zone. I noticed she is looking to her bird instead of to the city in the back ground. And her bird doesn’t bring her much new from the outside world either because he is blindfolded.

Together the cards all seem to convey one clear message: leave you comfort zone and live a little! Easier said than done but the fact I read it in these cards is promising. I don’t have to jump from the castle tower. I can take also the stairs J

Queen of Wands - To Life!

This morning I got up a bit earlier than usual with the intention to meditate, draw a tarot card and journal about it. I even lit a candle for the occasion. And what a wonderful way to start the day it was. I wonder if I will be able to remember this until tomorrow morning. Just kidding! Since I am not a long distant runner and terrible with challenges, I will try to do this morning “routine”  for a week from today and I promise myself not to beat myself up if I skip a day.

My card for today is the Queen of wands from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. Look at her cheeky smile as if she is saying: “I told you so, everything will be okay. Even if you don’t feel my warmth and my fiery energy for a while, it doesn’t mean I have abandoned you. I am always on your side. Together we can accomplish anything, even a a nagging and paralyzing depression. So smile my dearest, take a walk, create, dance, write, cook, anything will do as long as you do something, even if it  seems you are only pretending. Action is the way of out of sadness. So go for it girl and life!"

Somehow the cards in this deck are so talkative. I used to find them very hard to read with but nowadays they word so perfectly what I need to hear.

The Sun - How to get real

Since yesterday I have been thinking a lot about how to become more authentic and true to who I really am. This was brought about by several events during the day: reading Carolyn’s post about the Inner Child, reaching the chapter about Authenticity in  “The gifts of imperfection” by Brene Brown and becoming painfully aware of my “obligation” to be creative.

All this is strongly encouraging me to find out what it is I really want, as opposed to what I think I should want. Life can be so much more than ticking of boxes, even if they represent enjoyable activities.

 I have to admit I do find it a bit scary; maybe I don’t want to know what I really want or who I really am but then again I don’t like this feeling either.  

One thing which is in my opinion crucial to touch on this deeper layer is to live more mindfully and to make a full stop when a choice has to be made. This way we have the time to listen to our inner wisdom and to our inner child. I strongly belief that both of them are beyond pleasing and pretending.

Also I think tarot can be a great tool to trigger deeper buried desires and needs, especially when you read  the cards purely intuitively. So I have pulled two cards for today:

What do I think I want? Queen of Wands

I think I want to be a passionate, outgoing, confident and creative woman. I want to speak up and to be heard. I want to be unafraid of failure as well as of success. I want tot breath fire with my words. 

As lovely and juicy this all may  sound maybe this is not really who I am at this moment and also not who I aspire to be for now.

What do I really want? The Sun

I do like the become more self aware and to shed some light over the shadowy parts of my personality. My inner child seems to be in dire need of some sunshine lately. I want to learn more about who I am and to see this as the beginning of a journey within, which will bring me more wisdom, joy and happiness than pretending to be something I am not. Also I want to keep safe everything I learn along the way safe and protect it from old habitual thinking patterns. So I will keep the light of the Sun close to my heart and let it illuminate my way.

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are” Brene Brown

My cards for the Autumn Equinox

For this year’s Autumn spread I’ve used the Ravens Prophecy Tarot. This deck is quite the opposite of the Tarot of the Hidden Realm because while that deck is mostly about people and faces, this deck is all about symbolism. I was surprised by the amount of Court cards I got in this reading but fortunately it was easy to relate  to them.

By the way, getting reacquainted with my  Autumnal decks after so long, makes me very happy! It feels like coming home: warm, cozy,  familiar but also completely new. 

What have I sown? The World:

The potential to become and achieve whatever I want and cope with whatever comes my way

What have I reaped? The Queen of Wands:

I feel so much more confident to express myself in words and images and I’ve learned that art is not only something I like to do but maybe even more a way of taking care of myself. It feeds and fulfills my soul. I always feel so much better after I’ve created something.

What should I be thankful for? The Queen of Coins

I am grateful for taking better care of my body and I am also grateful to be able to be a caring mother not only for my family but most of the time for myself as well. 

Where do I still need to focus my efforts? The King of Cups

I would like to try to really listen what others have to say; at least give them a chance to let them finish their sentence. Also I think it is important to  become more aware of my own emotional currents.  

How can I achieve balance? The page of Swords

I need to find clarity in all aspects of my life especially about my emotional well being and for me the best way to do this is journal, journal, journal!

What does royalty have to say about workouts?

Now Autumn has finally begun this year, it is time to hit the gym again. To be honest, during this heat wave I wasn’t really up to it. When I haven’t exercised in a while,it is always a bit hard for me to pick it up again and to keep at it. Excuses seem to pop up from everywhere: too hot, too tired, too busy, or I just don’t feel like it, but eventually I went. While I was walking on the tread mill, I was thinking about what the Tarot might have to say about exercising. Immediately I saw four young Pages running around the gym, trying out the equipment. They didn't pay me any attention, let alone have the time to talk to me. So I directed my thoughts to the Queens and asked them why I should work out regularly, even if I don’t really feel like it:

Queen of Wands: "Girl, it is the perfect way to keep your energy levels up and set you ablaze. Feel how your heart is pumping the red blood through your veins! You will be fired up to seize the day!"

Queen of Cups: "Ah my dear, working out will most definitely reduce your stress levels and make you feel so much more calm and relaxed. Breath in and out and produce those endorphins!"

Queen of Swords: "My dear lady, nothing is more effective to clear your mind from worrying and depressing thoughts than to work up a sweat. The most ingenious ideas will come to you when you are physically active."

Queen of Pentacles: "Oh sweetie, what can I add  to  this sincere advice. Exercising is a gift to your body, which is just as precious as your spirit, your soul and your mind. Treat it well and it will serve you accordingly and don’t forget to eat healthy too."

Well that settles it: Working out will be an priority on my weekly to-do list!

Queen of Wands - getting back into the swing of things

Yesterday I came home from a visit to my mother and it made me very happy she’s had a lovely time. There is probable in each woman’s life a time when we have to acknowledge our mother is past mothering and when we visit her we give our love and time freely and patiently without the expectation of feeling nurtured and being fully accepted for who we are today. Being free from expectation is hard, so when I returned home I felt rather tired. This morning I didn't feel like doing anything but just sit and rest. But my mind kept churning over my experiences from the last couple of days and since I didn't want to sulk and pity myself any longer, I pulled a card for some comfort and support and I pulled the Queen of Wands from the Shadowscapes Tarot. Here we see the queen playing on her living harp. All the denizens of the forest gather around to listen to her uplifting tunes. Curling leaves are unfolding. The earth is moving in spirals, inwards and outward .Nobody and nothing in her presence can muck about and pout while her fingers are dancing across the strings. I cannot identify with this queen,not yet but she is a great inspiration to follow the humming energy of my creativity which always makes me happy. So now I am going upstairs to work on a painting: adding some layers of paint and pastels. And I am sure I can shake this feeling of disillusion.

Queen of Spirals - The Muse

Today’s card is the Queen of Spirals (Wands): Yes another Queen has come to me today! This Queen is a perfect example of how “The Troupe” aka the court cards in the Chrysalis Tarot are not always similar to their Rider Waite Counterparts. Usually we experience the Queen of Wands as the fiery, extrovert and passionate queen; our go to archetype in need of courage, confidence and creative drive. 

The Queen of Spirals however is much more gentle and she approaches you with care and softness. This is highlighted by her spirit animal; a fawn. Just like this fawn she comes silently and if you try to catch her she gone in an instant. And look how she holds her hand to calm and reassure you. She is your inspiration. Whenever you are doubting and feeling insecure, she whispers softly in your ear or give you a slight nudge in the right direction. She is your stream of consciousness, your intuition. She knows what you need even better than yourself.

Whenever you write, paint, dream, sing or whatever creative outlet you prefer, she is there to wake up your inner wisdom and to let it come into being; on the paper, in the words, as a vision…..

This is what she has in common with her more fiery sisters: She inspires…..

"Often the Muse will not respond to direct and logical requests. She must be lured in with the playful and gentle. (Jill Badonsky)

The Queen of Wands - Cherish and encourage your inner cub

Last night I was meditating and I felt rushed and also annoyed that lately so much is left undone. It seems like I don’t have enough time to get everything done. Being the responsible woman I am (ahum) of course the fun things are being put on the backburner. While I was trying to free my mind of all this noise, I heard  from deep within: “Slow down; there is plenty of time”

And then I realized I was rushing from one thing to another without being present with what  I was doing  right now. No wonder I was experiencing lack instead of abundance.

When my meditation was done, I pulled  a card with the question in mind, what could help me to really stay in the moment  and enjoy what I am doing. And I pulled the Queen of Wands from the Mary El Tarot. Well this queen is certainly present in the here and now. Look at how she is presenting herself: boldly and fearlessly. She is a South American shaman holding her little Jaguar, which is a symbol of strength and protection, in her arms :

This queen is the ruler of our inner fire, the flame of our  true self and our creative potential. She will show you who you are really meant to be. This queen always reminds me of Strength and when I opened the guidebook I read:  “She provides you with a safe , warm and abundant environment where you can grow from a small cub to a powerful jaguar yourself; master of your own internal forest.”

When I embrace my creativity; my drive,  and spend time with my cub, time will stretch out and there will be plenty of it to play, to grow,  to work, to enjoy and to be grateful for each precious moment.

Queen of Wands – it’s like magic

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Queen of wands - full of life and enthusiasm.

For today I’ve drawn The Queen of Wands from the Shadowscapes Tarot. Opposed to the King of Wands, I like this Queen a lot. Probable because all the queens have that soft female nurturing energy about themselves

I see her as an advocate of living life to the fullest  in every way possible. To enjoy yourself  and be happy and to seize the day. She is outgoing, self confident, fiery and passionate, creative and she inspires other to feel and live like she does. The foxes, the dryads, the birds; everybody has come to listen to her song and to be enchanted by her presence

“Follow me and I will lead you out of your darkness into the light. I am the personification of the joy of living. There are so many exciting things to do and see, and I will take you places you have not dared to dream of. I bring wholehearted dedication into everything I do. I find light in every task, every situation. I am confident in my ability to create gold from even the basest of circumstances. I welcome you with open arms; all that I have I offer to share with you, for I know that I will never run out of those things that are most important to me.”(Leila Vey)

Seeing her as a role model can be very helpful for me the coming weeks. I am sorry to say M has to have a few more tests and we will get know the results only after four weeks. So nothing is sure yet, but the doctor has advised us not to worry. I am going to try not to get sucked into the waiting/worrying mode but to live my life as usual. I hope I will be able to inspire M to do the same thing. 

Imbolc Tarot Spread: Brid’s Wheel

This spread for Imbolc, I have found in Christine Jette’s book “Tarot for all Seasons”. I've bought this book to accompany me on my journey around the wheel of the year with the Wildwood Tarot, I've started out last Yule

For this spread I've used my brand new Morgan Greer tarot.

Brid's Wheel from "Tarot of All Seasons" by Christine Jette with The Morgan Greer Tarot

1.    Strength.  This card shows where you are strong. 

*    The Queen of Rods: she is a strong, outgoing and creatively inspired. She is always warmed by her inner fire. She is confident and resilient. It pleases me to see her as my strength card

2.    Heart’s Desire.  You deepest desire.  What do you really want? 

*    King of Cups: How lovely it would be if I could master my emotional ups and downs and become more balanced. I want to be able to reach out to others and help them without getting emotionally drained

3.    Healer. What needs to be healed if you are to be strong?  Note whether or not there is a relationship between position one (strength) and this card. 

*    The Chariot: I have to acknowledge I am my own person, live my own life and I can set out my own direction and try to keep my insecurity and anxiety under control.

4.   Creative Inspiration.  When healing energy is released, creative inspiration is the result.  What are you inspired to do?  What creative activity fires you up?

*    Six of swords: That was a difficult card for me. But then I drew the sun as clarifier. I think I can interpret this as a creative spark in my communication abilities. The six of swords is about sorting out idea’s, looking for new ways of thinking and communicating; leaving behind idea’s which, although comfortable,  aren’t helpful anymore; or sometimes it could mean a spiritual journey or a quest.  In this sun card two people are coming together in the light of the sun which brightens and reveals everything. So I will use my creativity to communicate my thoughts clearly (writing?). Perhaps it is also a hint to put some effort in my Dutch blog.

5.   Making Plans.  Based on the creative information of position four, what plans can you now make? 

*    Nine of Pentacles. I always love this card.It is so easy to identify with this woman. It strikes me this nine of pentacles is very purple unlike many other cards in this deck. I can interpret this to use my inner wisdom in my spoken and written words. I’ve pulled the eight of swords as clarifier and it tells me to be aware of my limiting beliefs. So I see the Nine of Pentacles also as an advice to look after myself and be aware of maintaining my self-worth; Try to relax and be confident and believe in myself. This woman likes to be alone and that is okay too. In her so loved solitude she can find the peace and quiet to listen to her own thoughts and put them in writing

6.   New Growth.  What is the promise of spring that lies just beneath the snow? 

*    Nine of rods. Another nine. This card is all about vigilance. I am going to watch out for distracting influences (like procrastination!!!) which might make me forget my creative goal. (it happened before J) I will go on even when I get insecure. This card will be my defense against my inner critic.

The Three blessings

Yesterday I've tried two Thanksgiving spreads, I found on other blogs, but although they appealed to me very much, neither of them gave me much clarity. Or perhaps I wasn’t feeling the Thanksgiving vibe. So I gave one of my own  more familiar spreads a try. This one is called  “The three blessings”. (Still a bit in the same spirit). I have found it somewhere online, a long time ago.

It’s a three card spread, which are my most favorite spreads: Short, fast and decisive. Enough to tell an elaborate story or to see in one glance what the core of the issue is. Mostly I just pull three cards and read them as they present themselves. I like to read cards very intuitively, with a book nearby for fresh input. J

With this spread the positions  do have a set meaning: 1 my hope – 2 my inspiration -3 my guidance

The three blessings spread - Crystal Visions tarot

I've pulled :

1 My hope -Ace of Cups: I hope to receive love on various levels. And I hope to able to share love as well. But most of all I hope to feel loved by the Divine because somehow I’m not feeling that connected lately. I hope to become more receptive. Like a vessel…..

2 My inspiration – Queen of wands: I am going to rekindle my creative embers with the energy of this queen. I am already more inspired but still  it’s difficult to get passed my inner censors

3 My guidance  - The Moon: I can trust my intuition to do, say and feel the right thing. So guided by my higher self and my instincts I want to explore the shady territory of my insecure mind. I know I don’t have to be afraid in my own darkness.

Today I am going to strip down my altar to the bare necessities.( a little bit scary) Gradually it has accumulated a lot of stuff and I want to start over. Everything I’ll put there has to have a special meaning to me right now. And the followings days I will slowly figure out if I need any additions . Perhaps in a week my altar is just the way it was. Who knows J